Light of the Sun
by Lune Nightingale
Summary: G1 What happens when the light of your world is extinguished and the reason for living is gone? Sunstreaker has to learn this the hard way with help he didn't really want. Character death, angst, romance. Sunstreaker/Sideswipe, Sunstreaker/Prowl
1. Reason for Living

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG

**Notes: **I've never written anything for this fandom before. I hope it's not terrible... Otherwise,** t**his was just a terrible muse that was eating at me to write. There is no absolute set time or place. In fact, the song just fed me the idea of a distraught Sunstreaker then fed me that desire of mine to see Prowl and him together. No, they don't get together, but if I decide to continue this… well, maybe. Pends on if it's liked. XD

**Warnings: **Death and angst.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "The Heart I Once Had" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Nightwish and Hasbro respectively.

_Once my heart beat to the rhythm of the falling snow  
Blackened below, the river now flows  
A stream of molten virgin snow_

_For the heart I'll never have  
For the child forever gone  
The music flows, because it longs  
For the heart I once had_

-Heart I Once Had by Nightwish-

There were few things in life that were worth living for. There was a time that that single individual told him that there were so many things to die for, but finding something to live for… was a miracle. At the time, he'd just rolled his optics and brushed the thought aside. Pondering or dwelling on such a matter would have been a waste of time and a dent in his polished reputation. That person was his brother. This was his twin and his other half. Not that he'd ever say such a thing out loud, but inside it was the indubitable truth. And quite simply, he knew what he was living for, and that reason was his twin.

Jazz once told him that it was ok for him to rely on just knowing another's feelings, but not everyone was like him. There were those out there that needed to hear it and be reassured. Jazz was… is sentimental. This was his twin; they shared the same spark that brought them into being. Therefore, he wouldn't expect him to voice his feelings or thoughts. Sometimes, he realized that he should have listened a bit more carefully to the elder special ops officer.

Now he sat sinking deeper into the darkness of his room staring into the abnormally scuffed palms of sunshine yellow. Brilliant cerulean optics didn't even seem to notice the marred metal and only stared straight through them into memories that his CPU refused to quit looping. It had been four earth years since that day. Approximately 1,460 solar cycles since he'd watched that reason for living slip away.

Ratchet told them to not be so cocky, but that never seemed to sink in. They were always so gung ho. They were the first to jump into the fray, and usually the last to leave it. Fighting was their release, something they were good at and did well together. Neither would have thought that one day their dynamic duo would be ripped apart by the hands of Devastator. He'd pushed things too far, made one too many snide remarks, and he'd gained the rare item of Devastator's undivided attention. But instead of him being ripped apart and shattered, it was Sideswipe that pushed him out of the way.

The murderous intent, the anger, the fear, and the pain were siphoning all of what made him who he was as he tried to throw himself at Devastator that day. But be it revenge or a death wish, he received neither as he was drug away by a comrade. One to this day he wanted to throttle on sight for taking him away from the mangled remains of his twin brother. SIC Prowl.

Strong hands curled into firsts causing metal to creak in protest at self-inflicted abuse. Gone. Sideswipe was simply gone. Everyday when he wasn't working, he sat like this in silence alone. After the first two years they'd stopped asking him to join them. After the third, they stopped asking him if he was ok. No. He'd never be ok. Especially when no matter how hard he tried, they wouldn't let him die. Ratchet, Ironhide, Optimus, Jazz, Bluestreak… all of them refused to let him take on a battle he couldn't win and almost always they drug him back. But most of all, he wanted to use his fist to knock the frag out of that cold sparked glitch that was the Autobot second in command.

Why wouldn't he leave him alone? The logic oriented strategist had made it a point to be the only one that continued to communicate with him after all this time. Even Bluestreak and Jazz were giving up on him, so what made that black and white mech so determined?

A sound interrupted his thought process, but he didn't look up. Speak of the devil; he was right on time as he went off communications duty. As per usual, he ignored the chime and soon he heard deft fingers over the keypad before the lock was overridden. Sliding open, he ignored the sudden bright light of the hall as it flooded into his room. The outline of the Autobot Second in Command washed over the floor before he heard the almost silent steps that indicated his entrance. As suddenly as the room was lit, it fell into darkness as the door gave a soft hiss when it closed. "Sunstreaker."

"Get out." The cold flat tone of his voice was edged in barely hinted anger as the older mech stood completely still with no movement indicating retreat.

"You say that every time I come to see you." He hated that soft always steady voice. It almost lacked feeling the way inflection stayed out of each note. But what he hated the most, was that that subtle hint of feeling that always appeared when Prowl spoke to him.

"And I'll keep saying it to you fragger."

There was a short silence as his voice trailed off from the hasty and biting response. For a moment he wondered if just maybe he'd pushed the other too far. What surprised him was that Prowl only moved easily through the darkness to perch quietly on the berth not far from him. "Using your override codes to come in uninvited isn't very law abiding of you."

Prowl merely shuttered his optics and gave a Cybertronian equivalent of a sigh. "Staying in the dark all the time… isn't healthy Sunstreaker."

Why would he sit in the light? There was no light left. There was no spark of energy and feeling of belonging. Sideswipe had been that tie that kept him an Autobot and smiling. Even if those smiles didn't always equate to the sunny smiles of his twin. "What do you want, Prowl?"

"To know if you're ever going to be all right."

"To know… if…" Something of a sickening laugh left him as he bent over further to contain the sudden outburst of bitterness. "You want…" Chuckling loudly than necessary, he suddenly rounded his optics on Prowl with a ferocity that could have melted most metal substances on merit alone. "I won't ever be fraggin' all right ever again! What the slag do you think? He's gone! There's no-"

"Yes he's gone, Sunstreaker, but he wouldn't want for.."

It was that same soft voice. That voice that said he was worried but wouldn't ever show it openly. "What do you know about what he'd want!? What would you know, Prowl?! You took away my chances of ever being with him and you…"

As he trailed off, he noted the way his commander seemed to lean forward offlining his optics. The motion spoke of something close to guilt and the look was off to him. He was wrong. "Sideswipe… died so you could live." The normally velvet smooth voice was hard and ridged as he seemed to grind it out of his vocalizer. "And if you want to throw away your brother's life that easily over your own selfishness… it won't be on my watch." Standing curtly, the angry officer crossed the floor of the room to the door without stopping.

As one hand rose to hit the keypad, Sunstreaker's voice stopped it in mid air. "I don't know how to live on."

Prowl didn't move, only stood there hand in the air as he tried to process the words that seemed so utterly defeated to his audio receptors. Slowly, his hand dropped to his side and hung there for a moment before his processor allowed him to speak again. "It's never too late to learn."

"It should've been me! I should've died! That slagger took my place! He deserved to live Prowl! Not me! I don't even have a spark left in me! Nothing!" Sunshine yellow hands suddenly moved to cover his face digging his fingertips harshly into his audio receptors.

Before he could even hear the other, Prowl was in front of him on one knee. White digits carefully pried the hands away before they could inflict damage and held them with firm gentleness. "I'm… not good at this… but… let me tell you something a friend told me once. What should have… or should not have happened doesn't matter. What does matter is what did happen and what is right now. You can either carry on, or stay here waiting for your CPUs to give out. But always remember that whatever your choice, that light you lost will be there waiting for you. And what will you tell him when you see him? Life is pain, but it is also happiness. There is not one without the other." The trembling hands in his own suddenly uncoiled and recoiled about his hands in a death grip.

Sunstreaker kept his eyes closed as all of the pain welled up in his optics sending tears down perfectly sculpted metal that hadn't seen half the care it once had known. He didn't know why, but he wanted Prowl to stay. He wanted him to keep talking in that soft soothing tone that he both needed and hated. "All that's left is pain."

Prowl gently pried one hand out of his and lifted his arm to pulled the other's head onto his shoulder, Sunstreaker was suddenly happy that it was dark in the room. He didn't want to see the look on his commanding officer's face at that moment of complete brokenness. "You've not let anyone help you see anything else."

"I want Sideswipe."

"I know."

"It's cold."

"I know."

"Slag it! Why do you know everything? I hate you!"

Calmly, the elder smoothed his fingers over the younger's head. "All right."

"It's not all right! Siders liked your sorry aft!" Sunstreaker shoved at the other, but just as quickly gripped Prowl's shoulder's so he wouldn't move away.

There was a bit of tenseness over that revelation, but it soon melted away as Prowl allowed himself to be pushed and pulled by the distraught mech. "Then what will you do?"

"I…" He could tell his fingers would dent Prowl's armor, but he couldn't bring himself to stop the death grip on white metal. "I'll start tomorrow."

More than seeing, Sunstreaker felt the elder's lips curl into the barest hint of a smile that he could only think of as relief. But he didn't care about that at the moment. "I'm sure many will be waiting for you."

"Even your sorry aft?"

"Even mine."

And he knew it was for Sideswipe. But the slagger owed him for his efforts when they met again.

_For the child, for the light  
For the heart I once had  
I'll believe and foresee  
Everything I could ever be_

-Finé-

Maybe?


	2. Starting Over

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG for now.

**Notes: **I thought I'd go ahead and try a follow up chapter… mind you, I'm doing this tentatively since I'm so new to this fandom. So, please tell me if I'm butchering anything. Please forgive me if it moves slowly… I'm a firm believer in gradual build in character relationships. And that plot bunny keeps beaming me in the head for Prowl/Sunstreaker.

**Warnings: **Moving on after death and plenty of angst. Depressive Sunstreaker alert.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Silence of the Darkness" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Kamelot and Hasbro respectively.

_In the silence of the darkness_

_I can't pretend I'm wide awake_

_Afraid I could go under_

_In the silence of the darkness_

_I stumble for the light of day_

_But the journey never ends…_

-Silence of the Darkness by Kamelot–

He didn't like reflecting on his life, but lack of motivation to live really shouldn't be so new to him. There had been a time in his life when he'd had to learn to keep living before. That had been long ago as a sparkling living in the home of his co-creators. They were the human equivalent of parents in duty only; most of the time he didn't even wish to credit that much to them. It was in that home on Cybertron that he figured his personality had been formed.

The mech and femme that had raised the twins were well off in Cybertronian society and had strived to spark progeny that would carry on their trade and name. Sideswipe had joked often enough that they were just supposed to be pretty ornaments and their 'parents' had gotten more than they could handle. As far as he could tell, Sideswipe wasn't far from the truth, but he rather disliked candy-coating the truth as the human's put it. What they hadn't wanted was a set of twins. There had been times Sunstreaker had heard them talk about he and his twin without even a notion of pretense. Twins were a bad omen.

He and his twin were naturally vivacious in the way they handled life only differing in personality slightly. It was that slight differentiation that set him apart from Sideswipe as the good natured twin took the comments in stride where he was defiant. Added on to their ill status as twins, it didn't take long for their progenitor to decide that Sunstreaker wasn't necessary to their family. He remembered that it started off at home only when the immediate family was there to witness it. He recalled the slaps of unbridled anger and grated vocalization of his 'worthlessness'. At first, he'd been shocked. The only comfort he had was when the mech would walk away and leave the twins alone. Even though Sideswipe wasn't the one hit, sharing a spark as they did, he hurt just as much. That was when he'd realized just how much he needed and adored the other. Sideswipe had been that light in a darkened world where no one else wanted him.

Though, he wasn't always there to pick up the pieces of an angry and hurt sunshine yellow sparkling when their progenitor became angry. In time, Sunstreaker slowly realized that the mech grew surer of himself in his 'admonishing' going so far as to 'correct' him in public. It was at a young age that he learned with Sideswipe's help, how to block out memories and pain. That is, except for one memory he never wanted to let go… He wasn't the sentimental type, but some things even he needed to hold on to.

-Flashback-

"What did you do?!" The deep grinding of a vocalized processor grated through the crowded street as a crowd drew to the source. Narrowed gold eyes stared down at the small sparkling that looked up at him with a defiant gaze. When no answer came, the elder reached out to grab him only to be dodged in the attempt. Fury filled the metallic visage as he made another attempt as he yelled again. "You'd better get over here you little glitch!"

It was at that moment he made a connection as one hand met the metal plating of the golden colored sparkling's cheek. With a staggering step, he fell to the ground one yellow hand covering that spot with wide optics focused on the ground. He knew that speaking up wouldn't matter; it never did. So, as that mech reached to take hold of him again, he shuttered his optics waiting for the inevitable.

In his mind's eye, he could see the other's watching in curiosity. None ever stepped forward or spoke in his defense. If anything, most would mutter things about him. Some that knew him and his brother were quick to call him names such as 'pit spawn' or 'little glitch' as his father so often did. But as he steadily waited for contact, he realized it never came. In a few seconds, he realized it wouldn't come. "I hardly think there is a logical reason for beating a sparkling in public."

Lifting his head slowly, he turned tentatively opening his optics to view the person owning that soft smooth voice. A tall silver and black mech stood between himself and his progenitor one hand tightly holding the outreached hand's wrist. Fury was on his co-creator's face as he glared at the source of interference. "I don't think you have a right to tell me what I can or cannot do to my own sparkling!"

Calmly the other mech canted his head to the side and finally shook his head. The gathering crowd's seem to stand in awe waiting with baited breath. The sparkling hated them all. This was no more than entertainment to all of them. "Life should be respected."

Instantly his eyes were back on the one that had saved him. It was a simple logic, but something about it made him feel real rather than like an object of possession. Regardless, his progenitor only seemed to become angrier. With an angry roar the mech threw a punch at the sparkling's savior as he screamed angrily. "Let go of me! That pit spawn isn't worth it!"

"Wrong answer." It was so serene considering the circumstances. Easily and gracefully he dodged the attack and allowed the older mech to stumble a few paces before rounding on him and attacking again. With a sigh, he finally moved in response, one silvery fist making contact to a cheek. That was all it took to knock his progenitor offline. Staring in amazement as the mech caught his co-creator and set him on the ground, he found he couldn't move nor get up. After a moment that felt like a few vorn to the sparkling, his savior knelt before him leaving the offlined offender on the ground for others to attend to. "Are you all right?"

On impulse, he answered in a hard tone warily regarding the other. "What do you care?"

There was a soft smile on the young mech's face plates as he shook his head. "Why shouldn't I? Those that are strong should protect those that are weaker."

"I'm not weak!" It came naturally to him to yell defiantly to any accusation. This feeling of gratefulness and surprise were simply too foreign to understand.

"I see. Of course not."

"You just made things worse."

"Do you think?"

"He'll just make up for it when I get home."

There was a long silence as a solemn look slid over handsome features. "That won't happen."

"What makes you so sure?"

One hand rose to softly light on the sparkling's head. "I'll make sure." Before he could retort, the mech spoke again softly in that surprisingly gentle manner. "What's your name?"

He didn't want to answer. He didn't want to believe in anything. It was too easy to hope and only get shot down. But he truly wanted to believe those words. "Sunstreaker."

"Let me tell you something. Worth cannot be determined by someone else. You must determine it for yourself." Rising to his feet, he looked at the crowd that seemed to look down on the fallen mech with a mix of concern and wonder. "Let's get you home for now."

-End Flashback-

That promise had been kept. Soon after he'd been left at his home that day, he and Sideswipe had been taken from their home and placed in another. Sometimes he regretted his attitude that day, but he knew it was the first and only time someone other than his brother made a promise to him and kept it. For one, he certainly didn't want to admit that he'd taken that mech's words to heart. Especially since he never even bothered to ask his name or thank him. Even then he didn't deal with emotions well.

At the time, he only knew darkness. But with the help of his twin and a stranger he'd learned to live on. This time… this time there was no kind stranger to save him and move him into the light. This time he didn't have Sideswipe to love him and push him gently on with his ridiculous remarks and sparse declarations of affection. What was the point of this effort? What did it matter if he kept that promise to Prowl? He didn't want to try to start over again.

_Life should be respected…_

Why did that bother him so much now? Didn't he just mean that he shouldn't hurt another? Or had there been something more? Introverted as he was, he never allowed himself to ponder long on things, especially things that dealt with his past. Turning those words over in his processor a few times, a sudden thought occurred to him. That soft tone wasn't so unfamiliar to him. Where had he heard it before?

Bright blue optics pinned on the floor; he didn't even realize when he made the turn to enter the rec room. It was his first step into trying like he'd promised the SIC. It wasn't until the previously loud murmur of noise became deafeningly silent that he finally stopped in the doorway and lifted his head. Staring blankly into the room, he noticed every set of optics was on him.

A wave of discomfort hit him as he shifted from foot to foot. His systems gave a nasty turn as he tried to decide if he even wanted to bother with this entire attempt. It felt wrong to be here. It felt empty and unbalanced without that familiar presence of his twin. Sunstreaker simply didn't want to be there. The only reason he didn't turn on his heel and walk away was because he could almost hear that taunting voice of his twin teasing him about being weak and afraid. Surprisingly enough, his response was all too familiar. _I'm not weak!_

A frown etched itself deeply across his faceplates as he forced one foot in front of the other. There were no individual faces in the crowd. All his Autobot comrades were no more than a sea of unmarked features in his mind. It was better that way. Finding a table away from everyone else, he sat heavily into it and stared blankly at the surface. Well, he wasn't in the dark anymore, so that fraggin' Prowl couldn't tell him he wasn't trying.

Without looking up, he finally noticed a flash of movement in his peripheral vision. Black and white moved smoothly toward him only to stop as he set an energon cube before the yellow mech. Looking at the proffered beverage, he finally lifted his eyes to see Prowl's profile. Typical.

With that simple action, the room tentatively went back into motion as people resumed their interactions. Though, it wasn't as loud as before and almost all of them kept his figure in the corner of their vision. This only caused him to grumble lowly. "They act like they've seen the walking dead."

"S'cause ya are, man!" Jumping at the sudden chipper voice, he saw the black head and blue visor of Jazz as he leaned to peer around Prowl. Grinning from audio receptor to audio receptor, the special ops officer went on cheerily. "Didn' think ya'd be out an' about, Sunny!"

Prowl only shuttered his optics a moment with a vague smile before moving to sit at a diagonal from the yellow mech. It was obvious that he was trying to give him space, though Sunstreaker wasn't all that sure as to why. He'd not even said anything yet. "I wasn't given a choice."

"That's our lil ray of sunshine." Smirking, Jazz sat down across from Sunstreaker beside Prowl. "Hey Prowler, any idea what kicked his aft in to gear?"

"Sunny!" In an instant a bundle of nervous energy interrupted the conversation as Bluestreak sat next to the remaining twin across from Prowl. "It's really good to see you in here again!" The bright smile on the gunner's face left him feeling remotely guilty. When he thought about it… the loss of Sideswipe must have hit the grey Datsun pretty hard as well.

It was all a little to fast and unexpected after being so long in the dark alone. Hearing them talk over and at him in a whirlwind of excitement made him feel almost breathless. He wanted to grumble in protest at Jazz for the cutesy nickname, but Bluestreak was a distracting force of nature. Glancing at him quietly for a moment, he reached out to lightly play his fingertips over the 90 degree angles of the energon cube. "Yeah, I guess." The tone was less than engaging. He'd never been a strong conversationalist without the urgings of his twin anyway.

"Lookin' a lil worse for wear, but he's definitely here." Jazz chuckled as he motioned to the different scuffs and scratches on the normally pristine paint job. This only caused Bluestreak's optics to widen as he looked at Sunstreaker waiting for a response.

"Th-that shouldn't matter, Jazz! He just needs to go into town to the body shop and get it touched up!" Just like Bluestreak to instantly jump in to his defense. Though, this was a bit bolder than usual. It was almost as if he were trying to make up for something. The thought alone caused Sunstreaker's spark to sink. It was enough to keep him from even building up a reaction to the accusation towards his normally self-proclaimed perfect looks.

"Hm…" The noncommittal sound was the only response he gave as he picked up the cube. Taking a long swig, he grimaced. He barely ever remembered to drink his energon these days.

"Ah… Well, we should go down to the body shop. What do you think, Sunny? It would be great to restore those dashing good looks!"

"Ah, cool it Blue. He's probably given up on thinking he's somethin'." The smirk on Jazz's face actually brought up a haughty expression on his own as he became indignant.  
"Even with scratches I'm still the finest looking Cybertronian there is."

"Coulda fooled me. I was thinkin' you were lookin' kinda shabby there, Sunny."

"Fine! I'll go get fixed up and you'll eat those words, Jazz!"

Instantly Bluestreak seemed to stop fidgeting as he let the barest hint of his usual self shine through. It was odd to see anyone really hanging on his every reaction. He wondered if he should be offended by how the young gunner was scrutinizing him so carefully. "Let's go today! It's a nice day and the drive will be good for you." Nodding at this, he smiled pleasantly barely containing his excitement. Bluestreak had been one of the few to stay in the near constant company of the twins. When Sideswipe had died, it had probably been like losing two best friends instead of just one.

Sunstreaker was about to agree, when he stopped noting mentally the time. Shrugging his shoulders, he simply brushed the idea aside. "I can't. I have duty in a couple of hours."

As his friend's face fell, he suddenly heard that soft tone for the first time since the night before. "I'll cover your shift."

"Ya serious Prowler? Today was your first day off in a while." Jazz turned to the SIC and tipped his head curiously.

"It's fine. Just don't stay out too late Bluestreak. You have a shift tonight." It wasn't really out of the ordinary for Prowl to take extra shifts. Actually, Sunstreaker was aware of how stir crazy the strategist could get when he had no duties to fulfill. What surprised him was that he was willing to cover for him. 'Him' being one of the biggest nuisances that Prowl had ever faced as a senior officer in the Autobot ranks.

"Thanks Prowl! What do you think, Sunny? Are you game?" The excitement was hard to miss. It was like an explosion of relief and hope on the bot's face. Lifting his head to the other, he silently wondered how Blue could receive him so warmly after all that time.

"Sure." There really wasn't any regret about taking Prowl up on his offer. Rather, there was another feeling underlying it. He just couldn't put his finger on it.

"Well, least Ratchet won't hafta do it. Save ya a lotta pain in the audios." Jazz quipped in reply still smirking without faltering. "You two kids run along now. No time like the present."

Bluestreak was the first to rise. Instantly he was rambling on about where they could go and how they would get there. He had the distinct feeling that he would get an audio full all the way there. Giving a muted sigh, he rose to his feet. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear Sideswipe laughing at him. But then, that wouldn't have been a first. Casting one last glance at Prowl and Jazz, his optics lingered on the SIC as he seemed to concentrate on his energon and not bother to watch them leave. Not that it mattered anyway. Giving a half hearted wave to the Porsche when he gave one, he finally allowed Bluestreak to drag him from the room.

----

"So… care to tell me what ya did, Prowler?"

"What do you mean?"

"How'd ya get 'im out an about?"

"That was his choice." Drawing his optics away from the retreating backs of the other two mechs, he returned the steady gaze to his best friend.

"Yeah, but he was in a bad way. That kinda change don' happen over night." The Martini Racer smiled lightly as he leaned on his elbow while fully facing the Datsun at his side. "It certainly don' happen without some kinda help."

Partially smiling, he went back to his energon. "I think you over estimate me, Jazz. I hardly think I could influence him to do anything."

"Uh huh." The tone was skeptical, but he knew he wouldn't get anything else out of him. That was just how Prowl was. "Anyway, ya were just lookin' for an excuse to pile more work on yourself. Work-aholic." This only won him a soft chuckle and the slightest twitch of a door wing.

-Finé-

Should I keep going?


	3. Truth and Hypocrasy

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG for now.

**Notes: **Thanks so much for all of your wonderful feedback. It really is encouraging that bunny that is clinging to the side of my head. It's like an extra limb that you just can't get rid of. XD Once again, I'm new to the fandom, so please tell me if I go off base. Oh so slowly I am working this to Sunstreaker/Prowl.

**Warnings: **Moving on after death and plenty of angst. Depressive Sunstreaker alert.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Draw my Life" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Fauxliage and Hasbro respectively.

_Beautiful shadows in my mind  
They're all that's left of your design  
Scattered all over like the sun in our room  
Crawling all over like June bugs in June_

_Draw me a picture  
Draw it in color  
'Cause I wanna see my life  
Through someone else's eyes_

-Draw my Life by Fauxliage-

The sunlight that filtered through the trees left a pattern of shattered gold on the ground as the two vehicles drove through an area shaded by the arboreal landscape. It looked like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle tossed about in no real order. It reminded him of what his own mind resembled. Fragments of thoughts and feelings that were better left untouched for now. Because when he did sit down to put it together, it would take a really long time. For now it was simpler to watch his surroundings and attempt to think about anything but the large hole that was left in his spark. Which drew his attention back to his talking companion.

"And do you know? Red Alert has been frantically making sure that you weren't scheming something diabolical in your room. I think he just didn't know how to deal with there being well… no disruptions…" Bluestreak had been chattering incessantly from the moment they left the Ark to now as they headed back to base.

Currently he was only one year behind by Bluestreak's summarizations. Obviously he had missed quite a bit in the last year. Or so, that was what the Datsun gunner believed. Though, the other hadn't really seemed to notice that he'd hardly gotten an answer out of the Lamborghini that wasn't a monosyllabic sound. Actually, the only words he'd said dealt with telling the humans the exact shade of his paint.

"Should I be… well happy or upset that you've not told me to shut up even once today?" Coming out of his thoughts, he noticed that Blue was riding a little lower on his wheels than he had been on their trip out.

The idea of the question in itself was a bit unsettling to him. In his mind, he could hear his brother laughing and instantly poking fun at the Datsun for his insecurities. Back when Sideswipe was there, he would have been the first to add a smart remark to the teasing. That was how the twins worked. Sides was the one to cut up and tease and he was the one to add dry almost cold humor. It was a perfect balance. This balance was suddenly sorely out of kilter. Suddenly he was slowing to a stop, Bluestreak carefully following suit.

"Do you miss him?"

"Sunny…"

"Am I the only one that misses him?" There was a touch of frantic anger in his voice as he stayed completely still in his alt form. "Everyone else is just fine! They just went on as though life never changed!"

"S-sunny! That's not true!" Bluestreak was instantly nervous as he attempted to handle the sudden explosion from his long time friend. "I miss Sideswipe more than you know!"

"Then why don't you show it?!" Sunstreaker felt his spark nearly scream in pain. It hadn't been that many hours since he'd emerged from the darkness of his room. Suddenly the open air now overwhelmed a being once claustrophobic. "You still babble like a brook! You don't seem to miss a beat! What the pit, Blue?"

"Stop it! Just stop it Sunny!" In a moment he was transforming amidst the tree filled road. Sorrow filled the gunner's blue optics as they turned to look at the yellow Lamborghini that stood motionless on his wheels. "I miss him! I miss him so much! But don't you understand?! Sideswipe wouldn't want me to mourn my spark into dust! This is war Sunstreaker… terrible things happen!" Metal fingers curled into fists, and Sunstreaker knew that the other wanted to look him in the optic.

The raw emotion in the normally witty bot was enough to make him go silent and cap his sudden explosion. In truth, he suddenly felt extremely selfish… and more than anything he wanted his dark room again.

"Sunny…" Calming just a bit, Blue's gaze fell to his feet. "I've lost… so much in this war. I.. I hate those 'cons! But… but I keep fighting so no one else has to hurt that way. Sides would want that…" With each word, he was slowly sinking to the ground. "I… I really loved your brother, Sunny… and I know it would kill him to see you like this."

There was so much raw emotion. So much pain was in those words. Something inside of him felt like crying all over again. That something inside of him almost… almost sounded like his twin. Without a thought, he transformed and tentatively placed a hand on the top of Bluestreak's head. There was no doubt in his mind, the young mech was crying. He really didn't know how close his brother had been to him… but that was a side affect of being withdrawn by nature.

"I…" He'd never been good at apologizing. In fact, if he could help it, he wouldn't do it at all. But just the contact of his hand sent Blue into motion. In the blink of an eye, the smaller mech was hugging his midsection crying against his chasis. "I think Siders loved you, too…"

Most of him wanted to tell the other to stop crying. It was unnerving and putting him out of sorts. It was that part of him that felt guilty that kept him there awkwardly patting the distraught mech on the head. They must have made quite the picture on that shaded road. At that moment, he didn't know if he wanted to thank Prowl for this, or throttle him. But for safety purposes, he would go with the latter. After all, he still hated the slagger. Didn't he?

If that was the case, why did he suddenly want to just sit in the mech's office and make him justify himself? Was it because he wanted the other to see how helpless his case was, or because he simply wanted to hear that calm voice to soothe his mind? The idea was irritating no matter which direction the desire came from.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Sunny." Catching the last clearing of the Datsun's exhaust, he brought his gaze back to the gunner curiously. It seemed he'd missed out on the long series of trembling and sobbing as he'd taken refuge in his own thoughts.

"It's cool, Blue." Hesitating, he wondered if he should say more than that. Something? Anything to cheer the grey toned gunner down after upsetting him like he had. At least… Sideswipe would have. "Hey… maybe we can come up with something diabolical enough to short out Red's CPU. No sense in letting him down, right?"

The younger tipped his head back, blurry optics finding the yellow twin's gaze with both hope and expectation. When he noted the slight smirk on his faceplates, it was like the weight of Cybertron had been taken off of Bluestreak's shoulders. "That would be a great idea! I think he misses the mischief!"

Sunny couldn't help but snicker at this. It was like flipping a light switch on. "Who am I to disappoint?" Right, Siders? In his CPU he could hear the snickering to answer that question. "Think you're up to the challenge, Blue?"

Nodding eagerly, the gunner was quickly on his feet and already launching into yet another spiel of ideas without pausing. Allowing the barest hint of a smile, Sunny turned and quickly transformed cutting off the different ideas that Blue was offering. "I wonder if you can move as fast as your mouth. Race ya back, Blue!" Without waiting he took off at top speed leaving behind a gaping Datsun.

"No fair!" That was all he heard as Bluestreak transformed and floored it to try and catch up. It really wasn't fair to lead the poor mech into believing he could catch up much less win. But then, he wouldn't be himself if he didn't lure the competition in somehow. Sideswipe, he mused, would be proud.

-- --

There was no surprise that he'd won that trip back to the Ark. A win by unfair means, of course, but it was still a win. It was also no surprise that they didn't make it all the way back as they were stopped at the perimeter by the two bots on patrol. The very patrol he should have been involved in. Which meant his substitute was responsible for catching them racing against the rules and regulations set by none other than said substitute. It felt… almost like something that would have happened any other day.

It would have nearly been disappointing if Prowl hadn't given the same lecture about responsibilities and the power of their actions. Sideswipe once said that their SIC must have the entire speech recorded and only lip synced the words when he replayed it. The mental image had been enough to make him chuckle. And for the first time since he'd lost his brother, he felt the urge to actually chuckle as Prowl's door wings twitched with each point he made never missing a beat. Yes, Sideswipe must have been onto something with that theory.

The only thing that saved the two was the other on patrol that found the predicament all too amusing. Bumblebee stood to the side, Spike at his heels snickering at the look of abject shame on Bluestreak's face and the barely contained smirk on Sunstreaker's. "Aw… go easy on 'em today, Prowl. Besides, they didn't do it in a populated area."

"Rules are rules, Bumblebee." Shrugging the comment off carefully, Sunstreaker mused that Prowl looked like someone sidestepping something rather displeasing. Regardless, Bumblebee had taken him off course; therefore, the lecture was all but put to a halt for the moment. "If I catch either of you two being reckless again, I assure you that punishment will follow."

Blinking at this, Spike looked up at the scout in curiosity while whispering. "Has he ever waylaid punishment before?"

The yellow bot quickly shook his head and leaned closer to whisper back. "He's getting soft in his old age it would seem."

"That's enough, both of you." Giving a disgruntled look to the two, Prowl returned his attention to Sunstreaker as his faceplates gave away the smirk at the edges of them. "Bluestreak, get in and get ready for your shift." With a snap to attention, the other Datsun all but saluted before running off in the direction of the Ark. With less enthusiasm, Sunstreaker turned on his heel and made his way at a leisurely pace. "Sunstreaker."

Pausing, he glanced back at his commanding officer. "Yes, Mr. Officer?"

Both Bumblebee and Spike couldn't help the soft laughter. "You look better."

"What?" Stunned, he gaped at the black and white mech.

"Your paint job."

"Oh. Well, it's to be expected." On impulse he preened and once again turned to start his walk away. Tossing a wave with a hand over his shoulder, he didn't stop this time as Prowl went to fussing at the minibot and human.

Why was Spike on patrol with them anyway? Probably because patrolling with Sunstreaker had become notoriously boring and quiet. Not many wanted to patrol with him, and Bumblebee was one of the few to offer. Otherwise it was always Prowl, Jazz, or Bluestreak that took up the open slots with him.

Something inside fluttered at the exchange. It was a first for him to be amused. It had been a first for him to let go that night. What was it about the SIC that made him capable of bringing out just a little more from the yellow Lamborghini? _He makes you remember who you are._

Surprised, he stopped in his walk to tip his head back and look at the sky. It wasn't the first time he'd heard that voice in his processors. At first he'd embraced it and clung with all his might. Then he'd shunned it and pushed it away. Now he wondered if he was the one producing it or if he really did hear and feel the presence of his twin. Frowning hard, he mused that one of those human shrinks would have a field day with him.

"Oh! Sunstreaker! What brings you out here?" Turning to the source of the rugged tone, he found Hound standing with his fists resting on his hips next to the slender form of Mirage. "Enjoying the day?"

Shrugging his shoulders, he considered walking away. He'd talked to too many people for one day. Couldn't they pity his anti-social side just a little and leave him alone? "I just went to the body shop."

"Not bad." Mirage piped in almost vaguely, but the attempt to join the conversation only served to make him defensive.

"Not bad? This is classic and smooth." Smirking to punctuate his sentence, he realized by the looks on their faces that he wasn't being very convincing in his act.

"Well, regardless, it's good to see you out for a reason other than duty. All work and no play isn't good for the spark." Hound really did try. At least he could say that for him.

"A-ah… how are you feeling, Sunstreaker?" Frowning, he sent the nervous questioner a dark look. He really hated questions like that. What answer did they really expect to get out of him? "Y-you've been rather scarce and I was wondering if maybe… you know… you'd like to talk to someone."

"Forget it, 'Raj. Save it for someone who needs it." He really needed to get away from everyone before his CPU melted down. Life… should only be taken in small doses.

"He didn't mean any harm now, Sunstreaker. Just tryin' to be helpful is all."

"Sure." Without going any further, he pushed passed them waving them off. It was like dismissing or even shooing off persistent flies.

"Take care then." Hound gave it one last shot before letting a soft gust out with his exhausts. "I swear that boy is shut up tighter than a clam."

"I.. I just thought he'd need to talk it out. You know? It's not healthy to be that repressed. I mean… think about how volatile he is. If he goes off… he could be dangerous."

"What can you do, Mirage? Sunstreaker has always driven on a different road than everyone else. Not the most amiable personality, but a great warrior. It'll be good if he gets it together if only for that reason."

"Hound, is it always about fighting and the cause?"

"Don't start that again, Mirage. We're stuck in a war whether we like it or not. We do what we can so others won't have to suffer."

That was all he lingered to hear. It was all he needed to hear. It was no secret that he wasn't everyone's favorite bot. In fact, many probably felt the same way he did. It should have been him to die, not Sideswipe. _What should have or should not have happened doesn't matter. What does matter is what did happen and what is right now._

Frag him to the pit. Frag him all the more cause he only gave fuel to that voice in his head that sounded so achingly like Sideswipe. Thoughts seemed to churn in his processors as he moved rigidly home. What did they want from him? Wasn't being Sunstreaker enough?

Probably not. They wanted Sideswipe the empathetic jovial mech that actually got along with all of the Autobots. They didn't want the anti-social ego-centric mech that remained. Maybe… maybe he should just try to be more like Sideswipe. That would be the reasonable thing to do, then it would be like Sideswipe still living vicariously through him… right?

Then why was there something crying in the back of his mind?

-- --

"Enter." The door slid open upon that simple word and the yellow mech stepped in. The mech at the desk didn't look up nor acknowledge his presence just yet. Instead, they stayed in silence until the door quietly closed behind him. Without looking up, the SIC spoke. "Is there something you needed, Sunstreaker?"

Weight was shifted from foot to foot as the younger attempted to gather his thoughts. Why was he here? As he turned his head to glance off to the side, his peripheral vision saw the white head rise as Prowl gazed at him curiously. Or, at least he thought that was curiosity. The fragger was hard to read at the best of times.

"Do you know, Copper… that I really don't like anyone here on this Primus forsaken planet?"

"I would say you were lying. You seem to like Bluestreak and Jazz enough."

Sending the older a glare, he finally moved to a chair that was placed opposite Prowl's desk. Resting his hands on the back of it, the strong fingers gripped it tightly. "Everyone is a hypocrite here."

"Here being the Ark?" Watching for a moment, he found the answer in the harsh gaze on Sunstreaker's face. "Do you mind elaborating?"

"They all pretend to be what they aren't."

Carefully, Prowl placed the datapad in his hands down onto the desk surface. Moving to rest his elbows on either side of it, he laced his fingers together just under his chin. Why did he always seem so calm? Prowl was the picture of calm. Unlike the others, he never showed anything. It was rare that he exposed any feelings unless it was necessary or he was pushed too hard. "Don't pretend you're happy to see me, if you're only doing it to make sure I don't go off and knock the frag out of you."

"Do I seem overly happy to see you?"

"Not you, you slagger. I meant that in general."

"I see. Sunstreaker… they've always treated you like that. You have a temper."

Fingers dug hard into the chair back as he became frustrated. "It's different now!"

"How is it different?"

"Are you trying to psychoanalyze me, too?!"

Prowl was at a loss. Widened optics seemed stunned at this. "That wasn't my intent."

"Every thing has to be so slaggin' logical to you! Well, here's some logic for you. No one really wants me here. They just need one more soldier to fill the ranks and be cannon fodder for the frontlines. In reality, they just wish I were Siders and not Sunny."

"That's not…" The elder trailed off.

Silence reined the office as Sunstreaker glared at the piece of furniture at his mercy unwilling to look up at Prowl. Why was he here again? Why was he yelling his frustrations out at the one mech he couldn't even stand? Oh, because it was his fault he came out and exposed himself to this pit of a living.

"So what do you think, Prowl? Should I be a hypocrite as well and pretend to be what I'm not?"

"No."

Lifting his head sharply, he was shocked by the sheer volume of honesty in that simple word. Unlike Blue, Prowl was steady. You could take him off his guard, but he wouldn't fall to pieces under stress. It was a begrudging respect that he had for the strategist. Moving again, he released the chair and collapsed into it leaning forward staring at the ground. "I actually believe you."

"I've no reason to lie to you."

"I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be here." He felt like a child throwing a tantrum. "Why did you pull me out?"

"Because I don't want to lose you."

"Why?"

Prowl seemed to think about this a moment as his door wings rose a degree. Finally rising to his feet, he maneuvered around the desk and approached his soldier. "Because life should be respected. It can't be retrieved once lost. There is no other like it and can't be replaced."

"What did you say?" Head jerking to attention, he seemed suddenly on edge as he moved back in his seat away from Prowl who now stood before him. Shaking his head, he stopped the other from repeating it. "Forget it… just reminded me of something."

"Sunstreaker… things don't change over night. They don't get easier just because you braved through one day…"

"I know…" He wanted to tell the other to shut up, but at the moment, he figured that wasn't wise. Not when he wanted to talk about the one thing that had been driving him mad. "Promise you won't think I'm crazy…?"

The elder smirked at this and leaned back against his desk crossing his arms over his chest. "That's difficult when I hear such a request from a soldier that helped his brother glue me to my office chair."

Something about that memory made him smile ever so slightly. It didn't help that he could hear the laughter of his twin dancing across his CPUs. "Point taken. But… I think… sometimes I can hear him in my processor or feel him in my spark. Am… am I crazy?"

The SIC seemed to think about this as though turning it over thoroughly in his processor. After what felt like an eternity he spoke softly, dare he say gently? "You and your brother shared a spark. You shared a lazer core and were inseparable for all your lives. A bond like that… isn't something any of us understand." Lowering down onto a knee, Sunstreaker vaguely remembered being in this position before. When had Prowl become so… kind? "No one could say that when he died, that his spark didn't return to you. It's beyond my logic and understanding… but it's the most probable thing I could think of."

His intakes gave a hiss as they pulled in air. It had been something he'd thought about before, but never dared to hope. Sides had always said they'd be together forever. Sunstreaker just never imagined this could be how… "So… I'm not crazy."

"I don't believe this classifies you as crazy, no."

"Prowl…"

"Yes?"

Meeting his optics straight on, he felt his body lean closer as though drawn. "Tell it to me straight. What do you see when you look at me?"

"Sunstreaker."

Something about that easy and logical answer made him want to smile again, but he didn't. "Who do you want to see?"

"I want to see, Sunstreaker. Why would I want to see anyone else?"

Giving pause, he hesitated. "Sometimes… I'd like to see myself through your eyes."

Prowl gave him the barest hint of a smirk. "Now that would be interesting. But I assure you, I have no regrets saving you. I have no guilt in never giving up on you."

"I still hate you."

"I know. But if that's what it takes to keep you alive, I'll bear that burden."

As Sideswipe's chuckle rang in his ears, he suddenly felt ashamed of his irrational anger and hate. Perhaps… there really was no reason to hate Prowl. But then, that would be letting the glitch off far too easily.

_I'll find my way again, I guess  
I never thought that I could make such a mess  
I got this feeling that it's gonna be alright  
And I'll begin again tonight_

-Finé-


	4. Relying on the Unknown

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG for now.

**Notes: **I never would have thought I'd actually be able to write a chapter a day for a fic in my life. But then, some plot bunnies are down right vicious. Thank you for reading and reviewing. It definitely encourages me to keep going. Though, I must apologize to the twins' fans for killing off Sideswipe. Believe me… I don't like it and I sniffled my way through writing the first chapter… but I do have my reasons plot wise… promise! Dallying I may be, but there will be eventual Sunstreaker/Prowl.

**Warnings: **Moving on after death and plenty of angst. Depressive Sunstreaker alert.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Before it's too Late" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to The Goo Goo Dolls and Hasbro respectively.

_And the risk that might break you_

_Is the one that would save_

_A life you don't live is still lost_

_So stand on the edge with me_

_Hold back your fear and see_

_Nothing is real till it's gone_

_And hold on before it's too late_

_Until we leave this behind_

_Don't fall just be who you are_

_It's all that we need in our lives…_

-Before it's too Late by The Goo Goo Dolls-

"Hey Sunny?"

"…Sides…"

There was a soft chuckle in the darkness that seemed to warm up the cold. "The one and only."

"Where…?" Turning in all directions, all he could see was darkness.

"I'm right here."

Frowning deeply, he felt his spark pulse softly in his chassis. It was a warm thrum against metal and receptors that lulled him into a relaxed state. Even still, it wasn't enough. "I want to see you."

"Sunny… nothing's the same. Ya gotta let go."

"I don't want to let go! Why should I?!"

"Cool down, sunshine. I can't keep talking to you if you get worked up."

"Don't call… wait… What do you mean?"

"Some things are just better not understood."

Hesitating a long moment, he pulled his arms about himself as though to cling onto something, anything. Sideswipe had a point. It really didn't matter how it worked… he could ask unimportant questions, or he could… "Sides… I never told you…"

The soft hint of laughter filled the empty space. "You don't have to anymore. I think I've felt enough of your feelings to last a few vorns."

Scowling at this remark, he retorted. "What's that suppose to mean you glitch?"

"I'm sorry that I hurt you so much."

Sunstreaker fell silent. For the last four years he'd been buried in darkness and agony. He'd driven himself into fits of frantic rage and fear countless times. So close, always so close to taking his own life to make it all stop. That had been the times he'd heard the other's voice as it would slowly talk him down. There had been so many hints about that voice in his head… so many things pointed to this situation he finally understood.

"Heh… you've always been slow to catch on you slacker."

"Shut up." Grumpily he huffed his reply, he felt agitated that the other could hear his thoughts where he could not do the same.

"Sure. Get rid of me. I know where I'm wanted." A sudden surge of fear went through him and Sideswipe instantly went on. "Hey hey… cool it Sunny. I'm just raggin' on ya."

Settling, he waited a moment before continuing. "You… never told me about Blue."

"Oh? I suppose I didn't… It never went as far as either of us might have wanted."

"So… so you did love him."

The silence was the only answer he needed. It felt almost… painful to have it confirmed. "We are twins, Sunny… but we are still two individuals. You kept things from me as well, so stop acting like that."

"What do you mean?" He couldn't keep the offense out of his voice when he replied. "I never—"

"You never told me about that mech… the one that saved you vorns ago."

"It wasn't important."

"Your spark says otherwise."

"It was you… that was crying when Blue lost it… wasn't it?" Diversion, yes, but still something he wanted to know.

Once more there was nothing but silence in the darkness and Sunstreaker felt sorely out of place. He almost wanted to apologize, but he couldn't see where he'd done anything wrong this time. But now that he could hear that voice he so desperately wanted to hear… he didn't want it to stop. "It was me… yes."

"I suppose that's why he's not been trying to 'save' me like that fragger has."

"Why do you resent, Prowl?"

"I wanted to die."

"Dumb aft."

Snarling shortly in response he would have thrown something at his brother if he could see him. "What?! Are you trying to tell me that you would thank him if our positions were reversed? You'd happily walk out into the sunlight and skip along your merry way after I'd been killed?"

"For a mech that holds himself to such high standards, you really are thick, Sunny." There was a hint of teasing in that tone before he went on. "If you'd died for me… I would have lived to kick 'con aft for revenge then lived because that was what you wished for."

This time it was Sunstreaker that didn't want to answer. Pulling in on himself, he wanted to recoil. "Why Prowl of all of them?"

"You mean you don't understand why he's the one that pushed you the hardest?"

"I would have thought he'd hate the both of us since we were always sent to his office to be read our rights and sentenced for our 'offenses'. It doesn't make sense…"

"Sunny, Sunny, Sunny…" The tone was almost whimsical. "Jazz is the heart beat of the Ark. He focuses his empathy on the whole. Optimus knows you don't particularly like him and he's too conscious of the feelings of others. Hatchet is probably refusing to believe he let me die. Ironhide is more than likely staying by the doc for that very reason. Bluestreak… well… I think he was in no better shape than you. He deals with grief differently. He keeps busy and talks a lot to cover up the pain."

"You seem to know a lot about him…" Grumbling lightly, he redirected his twin's monologue. "That doesn't explain Prowl."

"He saved you that day. That's all I could say. Really, Sunny, ask him if you're so curious. Oh, right. You hate him. Good luck finding out then." If Sides had a face, Sunny knew he was smirking.

"Smart aft. Slag off." Something was chiming in his head and it was drawing him from the darkness. Struggling, he tried to remain in the warmth but he felt something pushing him to awareness.

"Time to get up, my dear dandelion of doom."

"Stop that!" Struggling to hold on to the darkness, he heard Sideswipe chuckling.

"You can't stay here. But I'll be with you. Remember? It was a promise."

In that instant, Sunstreaker sat up on his berth and blinked owlishly at the room around him. Switching off his internal alarm he realized that he'd been in recharge. A dream? No, it was much more than that. Placing a gold hand to his chassis he cleared his exhausts and forced himself off the berth. He couldn't say he was any happier than he'd been before he knew about this strange connection they still shared. Sideswipe had all but left him with more questions he wanted answered.

He'd also been left with guilt. Sideswipe hadn't ever brought up moving on to someone else. They'd been so close. The twins were meant to always be together. Even through the jealousy of knowing Sides loved someone other than him, he felt guilt for being the survivor. Sides had something to sustain him if he'd died. Sunny… well… he suddenly felt twice as lonely as he had already felt.

Ducking his head, he slowly made his way about his quarters to ready for the day. If nothing else, he had a patrol shift early and that would allow his mind to focus on something else. Who knew, maybe he could finally get a chance to beat out his frustration on a Decepticon. That would be heaven.

-- --

"Looks like Teletraan 1 is picking up some strange activity 'round that area. What'cha think, Prowler?" Pointing a black fingertip to the screen, Jazz glanced over his shoulder to the Datsun as he read a report at another console.

Lifting his head from his work, he moved from the console to stand next to Jazz's chair. Sky blue optics scanned the area and he made a thoughtful noise. "It could be nothing, but we shouldn't over look it. Who's on patrol in that area at the moment?"

Jazz keyed up the beacon for the Autobots and read off the names. "Seems ta'be Bumblebee an' Sunny."

Nodding slowly, Prowl started back to his console. "Radio them and send them the coordinates. Let them check it out and have them keep us posted."

"'m on it, Prowler." Always the chipper one, he pushed the necessary buttons before relaying the commands to the team. Shutting down the link, he paused for a moment before looking at Prowl's back. "Ya know… I won'er if we should send 'em back up just in case."

One door wing twitched at the thought. "What makes you think that, Jazz?"

"Well… Sunny…"

"If you deem it necessary, send Ironhide and Bluestreak to their position as backup to them."

"Roger that, Prowl." Grinning he went to make the second call. It was always better to be safe rather than sorry.

-- --

It was hard to hide the anticipation as he tried to go a little bit faster. Sadly, his partner wasn't fit to race off to the scene needing investigation due to size and specifications in his build. Therefore, he was stuck forcing himself to pace the little yellow Volkswagen Beetle. If he could, he probably would be rolling his optics as the minibot rattled off the information to him.

Sunstreaker really hadn't bothered to answer the comm... He generally left that to whoever was patrolling with him. It would just mean he could avoid talking to one more mech. Yet, when Bumblebee had told him the news, he felt a surge of excitement. It had been a long time since he'd seen any action. Optimus had made sure that he wasn't allowed in too many battles since the one he'd lost his twin. Each time he calmly informed him that he needed time to recover and that his time would come.

The Lamborghini never harbored any true liking for his leader, but he didn't hate him either. At times it was mostly a lack of understanding. The Autobots lost more often than not because of his unwillingness to make sacrifices. A lot of that frustration and anger for the Prime had faded though, when he realized what sacrifice truly meant. He may still not believe in the Autobot Leader's ideals, but he'd never again question his tactics.

"Whoa, slow down, Sunny. I think we're here." Coming to a stop, the Beetle transformed and looked about the area.

Glancing at the tall slender structures, he realized they looked a bit like fans. Windmills? Wind energy, that was really all he needed to know, what they were called was of no consequence to him. Transforming, he came to a stop next to Bumblebee and placed his fists on his hips.

"Looks empty to me."

"Jazz did say it was only suspicious." Pointing to the main building, he looked up at his partner. "I'll go look over there. Stay out here and look around."

Partly he was insulted at being ordered around, but in the end, he'd set himself up for this. This was probably the first time he'd noticed how… pliant he'd been the last four years. Had he not been doing anything before but following orders? Sighing, he moved away from the minibot and walked aimlessly through the fields of giant fans. Seriously, someone needed to scan Teletraan and debug it before it came up with phantom disturbances like this. And he'd gotten his hopes up too.

Glancing to the horizon, he noticed a small dot in the blue sky that was slowly growing bigger. It wasn't heading to him, but it was heading for the building that the minibot had disappeared into it. Frowning, he squint his optics and he caught the shape of a jet. Thundercracker.

Before he could think anything else, he was in a dead run for the building.

/Sunstreaker! Fzzt… Ravage!/

Jerking his head to clear the reception, he growled under his breath. He was only picking up bits and pieces of Bumblebee's words over the comm. but it was enough to let him know what was going on. All he could see was the seeker landing at the door and walking in. The shrill cackle reached his audio receptors as the jet found the minibot tangling with the microcassette.

Without another thought he pushed forward in a leap tackling the seeker from behind. Sending them into a mess of metal limbs on the floor, they engaged in a battle for the upper hand. Unfortunately for Thundercracker, Sunstreaker was in a less than good mood. Quickly and with cruel efficiency, the seeker was wrestled to the ground only to have the Lamborghini's electron pulse gun aimed square between the optics.

"Go ahead and move, pit spawn. Give me a reason." The cruel tone of his voice made the Decepticon go still. Red optics glared up at him in a mix of fear and amusement.

"You'd make a good Decepticon." The barest hint of a smirk disappeared as the barrel of the gun pressed hard into the metal plate of Thundercracker's forehead. There were noises in the background, and he knew that Bumblebee was still struggling with Ravage. For now, all he cared about was the itching trigger finger that wanted to pull.

It would've have only been a few seconds more before he lost control. More than anything he wanted to send a spray of metal and microchips all over the floor. One less 'con meant one less slagger to deal with later. Only, he hadn't been thinking. Seekers don't travel alone.

"Watch it, Sunny! There's another---!" The rest of the phrase was lost as Bee was yanked out from under Ravage.

"You're annoying." Looking up from his perch on Thundercracker, he saw Bumblebee dangling from the fist that was gripped about his neck.

"A little help, Skywarp?" Glaring harshly at the 'con still under his aim, Sunstreaker suddenly felt torn.

"I should make you help yourself, letting that pretty 'bot take you down so easily." Sunstreaker growled almost as loudly as the Decepticon beneath him. Skywarp only grinned as he shook Bumblebee lightly in the air as though to tease the Lamborghini warrior. "Better behave sun 'bot or I'll crush him like the bug he is."

"And I am to believe if I let your friend go, you'll release Bumblebee?" Sunstreaker eyed the seeker skeptically.

"Come now Autobot, what else would I mean?" Moments like these made him note just one more reason why he hated 'cons. Their voices were simply grating and annoying.

"Aw… the big bad lone twin looks frustrated." With each word from Thundercracker, Sunstreaker tensed up more and more.

"Ha!" Laughing loudly, Skywarp happily quipped in return. "I bet you can't even do something as simple as save this little bug. After all… you did let Devastator take out that lovely twin of yours. Best victory--…"

Anger. It was like the eruption of a volcano as he was set into motion. All he remembered was shoving Thundercracker away only to throw himself at Skywarp. All he saw was red. There were sparks and the screech of metal as he collided with the decepticon, and in the back of his mind he heard the cry of Bumblebee and the voice of a certain red mech.

"What're ya doin'!? S-Sunstreaker!!!"

-- --

"I'm tellin' ya, Optimus! He was cracked! Didn' hear nuthin' I said to 'im!" Standing quietly just behind the red weapons specialist, he kept his eyes off to the side. Occasionally his peripheral vision saw a spark fly from the shoulder of the older mech, but he tried not to show it.

"Ironhide. Calm down. I need to know what happened without you standing before me injured and upset." Optimus did his best to remain calm and gentle in his words. Sunstreaker could tell it was a strained tone at best. "Go to Ratchet and get looked at. You can give me your report afterward."

"Che! I woulda gone sooner, had Bee not needed ta be treated first." Drawling out his words in irritation, Sunstreaker caught the sharp look sent his way.

"I know Ironhide. I still insist you wait there. Leave Sunstreaker here with me." There was a great deal of hesitation in the weapons specialist before he finally nodded his consent. Sending one more disapproving look at Sunstreaker, the yellow mech caught the words he was grinding out of his vocalizer as he walked by.

"Fraggin' mess, I tell ya. Should lock 'em in solitar' till he shapes up."

As the heavy steps faded down the hall, the leader and soldier stood in complete silence. It was a suffocating silence that made him feel like he needed to claw his way out. The thought of being in that little cell alone, suddenly kicked in the feelings of repressed claustrophobia.

"Sunstreaker. Can you explain your behavior to me?"

Bright Caribbean blue optics stared at his leader for a moment, and he could tell Optimus read the frantic fear that was fluttering over his processor. It wasn't that he wasn't aware of his misdemeanor. In fact, that loss of control scared him just as much as it had his fellow soldiers. What had him stunned him the most was the fact that his slip had gotten Bumblebee hurt. It wasn't that the minibot was in severe condition, but the damage had been considerable. He'd been an obstacle to the angry force of nature he'd become trying to tear Skywarp apart.

In the end, not only had he hurt his partner, he'd also hurt Ironhide as he did his best to pull him off of Skywarp. The worst part was he couldn't remember any of it. There was only the awareness that he'd done it.

"If you don't speak up Sunstreaker, I'll have to assume there was no reason and devise a punishment." It was a known fact that Optimus insisted on being fair. That he would give to the large mech. He was wise and fair in most cases as long as he understood. But right then… he didn't think he had an argument that could save him. Frag them all before he would tell them a slagging thing.

He could hear the sigh of his leader and see him move a large hand to place over his optics. Optimus Prime was frustrated with him, and that meant he had no idea what to do with him. "Sunstreaker… I have no choice but to put you into solitary confinement until Ratchet checks you out. You are unfit and a danger to your comrades at this point."

His spark sunk. This was always the punishment he feared the most. But in this case, he had nothing to say in his own defense. From the corner of his optics, he could see Bluestreak fidgeting off to the side. Just beside him was Jazz and he was looking far more somber than usual. Dropping his head to stare at the floor, it was the motion that told the leader he would accept the punishment.

"Jazz, please escort him to the brig. Bluestreak… I will speak to you after they've gone." The young gunner gave a slow nod as he looked at Sunstreaker's defeated pose.

Jazz moved with his easy confidence and lightly placed a hand on Sunstreaker's arm. There was no reaction, because inside he felt numb. "Let's go, a'right, Sunny?" The tone was gentle as he was pushed away and toward that feeling of impending doom. It was like a lamb being led to the slaughter.

-- --

Rooms like these reminded him of home. It reminded him of the small closet with no windows that was kept empty for one reason. That reason was to throw him in there when his progenitor had grown tired of 'looking at his face'. He remembered hours without end, sitting in the confined space pulled away from his twin. Each time he'd grown more and more erratic. He'd sometimes explode and claw at walls, pounding at them to be let out. It was like suffocating and starving all at once.

Those times had been hard because Sideswipe had been so far away. They always took him so far away at those times. It was so he wouldn't let the yellow twin out before they deemed it a good idea. After joining the Autobots, he'd found that his less that social able behavior led Ironhide and Optimus to using a similar punishment. Solitary confinement was enough to drive him mad in spans of no more than a few hours.

Yet, all those times, he always knew that eventually the door would open, and Sideswipe would walk in. He was always the one that came to pull him out of the darkness. This time… this time he couldn't do that. The only comfort he had was the warm pressure in his spark that he knew was his brother. But right then, he was too ashamed to even talk to him.

Time was an elusive commodity in a room with no view into the outside. It was like grains of sand in a sieve. So there was no telling how long he'd been in there. In that span, he'd curled into a corner drawing his knees to his chest. Forehead placed on the cradle of his arms, he was almost a perfect yellow and black ball.

Light pierced the darkness for a moment, but he didn't move. Graceful near silent footfalls reached his audio receptors as the door closed submerging them into the shadows once more. He didn't have to look up to know those footsteps.

"What are you doing here? Interrogating me?" His voice sounded oddly weak, even to himself.

"I could if that is what you wanted me to do."

Shifting just slightly, he turned his head so he could pin his optics on Prowl's form. "Do what you want."

Moving closer, Prowl seemed to hesitate as he stopped at the sunshine yellow mech's side. After what seemed to be a mental debate, he sank to the floor sitting beside him. "I heard about the reconnaissance."

"Hm."

"What you did was dangerous."

Frowning at this, he wanted to slap the SIC for stating something so obvious. Instead he turned his head again to look at the opposite wall. "I have no excuse."

Silence fell for a moment, and Sunstreaker couldn't help but realize something. He didn't feel so trapped anymore. The walls didn't seem so close any longer, and for once, he felt like he could breathe. "Prowl…"

"Yes?"

"When you punished Siders and I in the past… you never used solitary. Why?"

Something scraped lightly against metal and he knew it was a result of a twitching door wing. "It doesn't suit you."

"That's a half-aft answer."

Prowl allowed a soft chuckle drawing Sunstreaker's attention back to him. "I make it a point to know what suits each of my soldiers best. A strategist must know everything about his men."

"They say you're cold sparked."

"Do you think I am?"

"I don't know." Shrugging nonchalantly, he finally uncoiled enough to lean his back up against the wall. "That isn't for me to decide."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's kinda like worth. No one can make that decision for you. Only you can. Or... at least I guess that's how it should work." Something about the smile on Prowl's face made his spark suddenly turn. It was oddly familiar.

"I suppose that is true." Once more there was a prolonged silence before he went on again. "Care to tell me what set you off today?"

He looked away. He didn't want to see the other when he spoke this time. Sunny was just starting to get used to his persistent presence. "I would've held it together… I would have… but…" Frowning hard, he pressed fingertips to his head. "They brought up Siders…"

Nodding slowly, Prowl finally reached out and placed a hand on Sunstreaker's shoulder. "As your friend… I understand. As your commanding officer… It is my responsibility to make sure this doesn't happen again."

Sunstreaker only nodded to this. He didn't even bother to correct the title of friend. Could you really be friends when you rather hated the person? Not that it really mattered… the proclamation didn't seem all that bad. "What are you going to do?"

"From now on, you will only patrol under the supervision of a ranking officer. In addition to this, you will be required to sort out your emotions…"

"You mean… basically see a shrink."

Prowl chuckled at the sound a dry sarcasm in that tone. None of the Autobots really like the idea of a human psychologist. "Something like that. But I won't make you see a human. Ratchet, Optimus, Jazz, or any ranking officer will suffice."

He had to turn that thought over in his head. So, that meant someone had to rate his mental health on a daily basis? The idea was less than liked, but it was better than being locked up in this room. "I can choose?"

"Yes, you may choose."

Scratching his fingertips over his knees slowly, he noted idly each scratch that needed to have a touch up. Ratchet would sooner tear him a new one. Optimus was out on sheer principle. Jazz… Jazz wasn't so bad, but… _Why not, Prowl?_

Sneering vaguely as his brother's voice rang in his CPUs, he tried to push that thought aside. Sadly, it just kept coming up again. So far, the only one that didn't push him for anything more than he would willingly give was Prowl. The mech calmly and gently resisted his outbursts never turning him away. It just… made sense.

"Will you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Are you dense? I asked if you will you do it?" Sunstreaker gave him a put out expression.

Prowl returned it with a curious gaze, before finally nodding his head. "If that is your choice. You are to report to my office then every evening after your shift. We'll decide later how long you'll have to stay." After stating off the facts in his business like tone, he suddenly placed his hand lightly on Sunstreaker's shoulder. "Until then, come with me. Optimus gave me permission to get you out of here if you cooperated. Can you bear my company until he is ready to speak with you?"

Sunstreaker felt himself smile at the black and white Datsun weakly. "I think I can manage hanging around your sorry aft."

"Good." With that he rose to his feet quickly and easily. Rounding to face the yellow mech, he held his hand out to him. "Come on, no point staying here in this place."

Staring at the offered hand, Sunstreaker hesitated for a long moment. As he reached out to take Prowl's hand, he shuddered as a thought occurred to him. Someone did come to pull him out. And even if it wasn't Sideswipe this time, he could accept Prowl. Grudgingly, of course.

-Finé-


	5. Confusion and Exaggeration

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG for now.

**Notes: **I hope this is moving along in a comprehensible manner. It's not easy sticking to a third person limited point of view. I really am torturing poor Sunny… but I promise I'm progressively dragging him to a better state of mind. But I want it realistic. You aren't better after one day. I've almost got the stage set, so, hopefully there will be slightly more noticeable progression to Sunny/Prowl. Please tell me if I mess anything up. After all… this is my first in this fandom. Thanks once more for all the encouragement!

**Warnings: **Moving on after death and plenty of angst. Depressive Sunstreaker alert.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Into the Ocean" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Blue October and Hasbro respectively.

_Not knowing how to think  
I scream aloud, begin to sink  
My legs and arms are broken down  
With envy for the solid ground  
I'm reaching for the life within me  
How can one man stop his ending  
I thought of just your face  
Relaxed, and floated into space_

-Into the Ocean by Blue October-

It had only been the day before that he'd sat in front of Optimus Prime and let the other talk. He'd seen no point in giving reply. His reluctance to answer his leader led him to being removed off the duty roster until Prowl saw fit to reinstate him. It was no secret that Optimus was at his wits end. Not to mention that Ironhide was going to great lengths to stay away from him at all costs. What irritated him about that was Prowl gently telling him not to worry over it. Normally with anyone else, Sunny wouldn't have given a frag about the avoidance. Only, 'Hide was more than just a mentor to him. His adoptive parents had been friends with the old mech and he was nothing less than a surrogate father to him. Now he felt like he was being turned out.

Abandonment wasn't new for him, but usually he wasn't all that attached to the one doing the abandoning. Now he sat quietly on a berth in the med bay the morning after. Pleading he really didn't want to be around Bumblebee and Ratchet just yet, Prowl let him go to his room with the promise he'd report there first thing in the morning. 

Recalling his entrance that morning, he only avoided eye contact with the red and white mech as he stared at him with the promise of an oncoming glare. "Finally decided to grace me with your presence?" 

Internally wincing at the growling tone, he ducked his head looking reasonably ashamed. "I didn't want to bother you."

"Bother me!" Ratchet all but wrung the wrench in his hands trying not to chunk it at the yellow 'bot's head. "It's my job you slagger! I fix your sorry aft when you get beat up. If you don't want to 'bother me' then stop getting fragged in the first place." That had been when he was directed soundlessly to the berth as Ratchet set to work grumbling angrily.

Feeling the sensation of a sensor scan running over him, he wondered if the CMO was going to talk to him again or if he was going to continue with the silent treatment. Part of him felt very off base without the grumbles and curses that were so traditionally thrown at him when he ended up in the medic's care. "Ratchet…?"

Pausing in his ministrations, the CMO stared at Sunstreaker as though waiting for the reason for being interrupted. "Was… was 'Bee all right?"

"I fixed him." 

"That's not what I…"

"He's fine." The tone was strangely quieter than he'd expected. 

"Oh… ok. You're not… mad?" Hazarding the question, he saw weariness and anger flash in the elder's optics.

"Of course I'm mad you slagger! You always manage to cause me more work than necessary!" Huffing in an irritated manner, he deflated quickly. "But at least I can fix it. As long as I can fix it."

Sunstreaker couldn't help the surprise on his face. Before he could question the medic, Ratchet waved a hand at him almost menacingly. "You're fine. Get your aft out of my med bay before I give you a reason to be here!"

That was a bit more like the medic he knew. But there was something odd in his demeanor, something very off key. "Hey, Ratch…? Are you all right?"

Staring openly at the young warrior, the CMO quickly pushed him off the berth and pointed him in the direction of the door. "Fine. As for you, get some rest and stay out of trouble. You can touch up your paint on your own. That's what you get for being careless and inconsiderate! Now get out!"

His lips half curled into a smile at this. Intakes pulled in a gust of air as he put on his best whine. "C'mon, Ratch! You know you're better at that than I am!"

"Then you'll do well to remember that before you get reckless. Now shoo!" There was a hint of a chuckle in that voice. Also, there was a hint of relief as he gently pushed Sunstreaker toward the door. 

Standing outside of med bay, Sunny mused he'd left pretty easily compared to his antics in the past. But he also realized that he wasn't one to make a show that day… his attachment to the dramatic was slowly fading each day that passed. Glancing over his shoulder one last time into the room he'd just been thrown out of, he felt his spark sink. It wasn't just him either that felt oddly cold as the medic was bent over the berth he'd been on, palms precariously supporting his form.

Thinking back on it, Ratchet had been like that with him for the last four years. Today had been the most they'd spoken to each other in a long time. On several occasions, he recalled the medic almost pleading with him to get his fragged processors together. And reflecting back on it, he realized how afraid the medic had been over his reckless abandon when he'd fight. 

Unlike Ironhide, the CMO was upset because he didn't want to lose anyone else. But like Ironhide, Ratchet was important to the twins. They drove him crazy regularly, but it was like that human philosophy. You only pick on the people you like. 

Unable to look at the red and white mech any longer, he turned and started away slowly. Someday, he'd apologize to the medic for being reckless. But then, it would be empty if he couldn't keep from doing it again. It made him suddenly determined to get it together. Maybe 'talking' with Prowl that evening wouldn't be such a bad idea. Not that he had to like it though. No… he didn't have to like it.

-- --

"What'cha doin', Sunny?" Leaning on the back of the couch in the rec room, Jazz stared at the screen curiously over the top of Sunstreaker's head.

"Playing." He never liked giving elaborate descriptions. In this case, he really didn't feel he needed to explain to the Special Ops officer that he was playing a video game. 

"Ah." Sounding interested, he suddenly tipped his head moving his gaze to Sunstreaker. "Weren't you s'posed ta meet up with Prowler?"

Deftly he executed a move for his fighter without even glancing at Jazz. "Maybe."

"Maybe, huh?" Smirking to himself, he returned to watching the screen. "Prowler ain't gonna be happy with ya, Sunny."

"He probably doesn't even realize I'm not there." The tone was soft but very cold. As far as he was concerned about the SIC at the moment, was that he was a work-aholic. There was a slim chance that he was waiting for him with rapt attention. Prowl tended to work on for hours without even stopping to answer his door most of the time.

"Why wouldn't I?" Jazz seemed unfazed as his best friend slid up next to him, but Sunstreaker nearly dropped the controller. "I told you what time my shift ended."

Grinning from audio to audio, Jazz waved a hand to Sunstreaker making him shift uncomfortably. "Sunny here thinks ya weren't watchin' the clock an' decided to play a game."

Without answering, Prowl seemed to slide his gaze from the controller in the yellow mech's hand to the screen. "I like games, so what?"

It was unnerving to have Jazz looking amused as Prowl scrutinized the activity so closely. He suddenly knew what a specimen felt like under a microscope. "What do you like about them?" The tone Prowl used was a little distracted as he continued to study the act.

"C'mon, Prowler. Everyone knows that games are chicken soup to the soul!" 

That only earned a blank look from the tactician and a smirk from the Lamborghini. "He means it's good for the spark, Copper." Leave it to Prowl not to understand the simple human expression. At least there was something he could one up the SIC in.

"I see…" That tone was wholly unconvincing. "Why?"

"It takes your mind away from the slag you have to deal with all the time." Sunstreaker was trying hard to ignore the snickering that was coming from Jazz. 

"Fighting takes your mind off fighting." Flat. The tone was completely flat and skeptical as he stared a hole through Sunstreaker's head. It finally unnerved him enough to get killed off.

"Aw! Don' knock it, Prowler, till ya've tried it!" Jazz was obviously about to die from held in laughter at his best friend's expense. "Then again, ya'd probably freeze up your logic center on it."

There was no missing that challenge in his voice. Prowl suddenly gave him a bland look before circling around the couch and sitting next to Sunstreaker. Holding out a hand to the yellow mech, Sunny stared at it like it was dirty. "What?"

"I'll try it." Looking unperturbed, the elder made a gesture for Sunny to give him a controller. After a moment of hesitation, he finally picked up the other controller and set it into his commanding officer's hand. It felt so strange to be even considering the notion of Prowl playing anything other than chess.

"Whatever charges your circuits." Sounding skeptical as well, he hesitated. "Want to know how it works?"

"No, just start it." Giving him a look, the surviving twin slowly turned to face the screen. In his CPU, he heard the chuckling of his twin. _Oh… you're gonna get whooped, Sunny._

The simple idea of it caused him to snort. As if 'Mr. Personality' could really beat him at his own game. Starting the game, he found out that he was sorely wrong and his brother was completely correct. After having his aft handed to him at least three times, he finally growled in frustration.

"What the frag, Prowl?"

Blinking in slight surprise, the SIC stared at Sunny. "Something wrong?"

"You've never played before, right?"

"This is my first time."

Jazz was finally laughing loudly. "That's my, Prowler! Never let's me down." Snickering he leaned over the couch and tweaked a door wing causing the mech to suddenly lose concentration and consequently, Sunstreaker won that round. "See, Sunny? Ya just have'ta distract him!" 

At first he laughed, but as he caught more and more actions of teasing from the spy directed at the tactician it ceased to be amusing. In fact, he was getting rather irritated. Door wings were twitching in agitation with each poke or prod from Jazz. Prowl's brow was furrowed and a thin frown was pressed between his lips. Yet, the smaller black and white mech was undaunted in his teasing. It wasn't until Jazz finally managed to hug the Datsun about the neck causing him to drop the controller that Sunstreaker realized he'd stopped seeing the screen.

"Jazz. Off. Now." Scrambling to peel his friend off of him, he didn't even seem to realize that Sunstreaker was staring at them with rather irritated optics. 

"Aw, don' be that way, Prowlie! Ya need a handicap to give others a chance!" Chuckling, he didn't seem to notice the yellow mech either.

Clearing his exhausts loudly both stopped stone still and turned their heads to look at him. Door wings were arched at odd angles and one of Jazz's arms was hooked about Prowl's neck while the other hand was poking at his chevron teasingly. Prowl, for the most part, had both hands latched onto the arm about his neck trying to pull it away. Why was he so annoyed?

"Don't we need to get to your office, Prowl?" He had to ground out the words, and the effort seemed to shock Jazz into life and instantly let the Datsun go.

"Of course." Quickly shaking off his previous irritation, the strategist rose to his feet and shot Jazz a sharp look. Sunstreaker translated it as a promise of retribution of some sort at a later time. 

"Right, right. You two have fun, yeah?" Smirking, Jazz seemed completely undaunted by the entire situation. Yet, that was just the way the Porsche handled everything. He rolled with the punches and always landed on his feet. 

Watching the smaller mech wave then scamper off to another group of mechs, he almost forgot that he needed to get up as well. Grimacing, he wondered how off his behavior was getting. His spark thrummed against his chassis in a strange manner, and he wondered if he was confusing his twin as well. At least he wasn't asking questions. In truth, he really didn't want to think about what just happened. 

"Shall we, then?"

Glancing up at Prowl, he noticed that unending patience once more firmly in place. Nodding, he rose to his feet reluctantly. Where he wasn't happy about what was about to happen, it seemed like a better alternative than watching Jazz pick on Prowl. The implications of that, however, were left unconsidered.

-- --

"First off, allow me to apologize for that behavior in the Rec Room. Jazz tends to get a little carried away."

_Right… I think he enjoyed his lil session of PDA._

"I really don't care." Flopping unceremoniously into one of the chairs in Prowl's office, Sunny pointedly avoided looking in the other's directions. He was also ignoring the laughter that danced over his processors. Sideswipe was so much more than amused by this situation.

"Regardless, I'll have a talk with him later." Prowl let out a sigh and sank into his desk chair as he rubbed lightly at the mid point of his chevron.

_Ha! I bet you will._

Growling at a low decibel, Sunny suddenly wished his brother was solid and in front of him so he could throttle him. That thought and feeling instantly sent the other into complete silence. Frowning deeply, he turned to look blankly at the wall. 

_Sunny…?_

"Sure." Off handedly replying, he ignored his brother. He could tell that his brother was confused. After all, in the past, Sunny would have been laughing with him at the disgraceful behavior of their commanding officer. Right then, he was just peeved about it. "Now what? Going to pick my CPUs apart?"

"I hope that won't be the case." Whatever his reasons were, Prowl seemed to pick up on the discomfort as he shook his head. Pushing a few data pads to the corner of his desk, he made sure to keep his attention on the younger mech. It was interesting to have his rapt attention for reasons other than punishment. Then again, this was a punishment as well. "Did you recharge well?"

"Define 'well'." Shrugging his shoulders, he still didn't look at the tactician. "How did you play so well?" Changing the subject would certainly be useful at the moment. He wasn't ready to bare his spark to anyone.

"I observed your motions in accordance with the actions on the screen"

"Only you could make a game sound like a math equation."

All he heard in response was the low chuckle as the officer sat back in his chair almost looking… at ease. "I don't believe I understood the point of it. It was… a bit mind numbing."

"Exactly." There was a dawning of realization on the strategist's face as it made sense to him. "Are you that good at figuring everything out?" It was half curiosity and half sarcasm as he wasn't all that accustomed to being beaten so badly so quickly. This thought only managed to make Sideswipe give the equivalent of a repressed laugh.

"Mechanical things I can pick up for the most part. I think it is more a process of never giving up until a task is completed."

"Fun is probably not a concept that is common to you." It was an example of his biting dry humor. But the truth was, he'd never really given anyone the chance to get to know himself. He certainly never tried to get to know anyone else. 

_I can't say that sharp remarks will get you far, Sunny…_

This was true. Actually, he was a bit more remorseful that Sides sounded so subdued in the comment. He'd not meant to hurt his brother with his less than amiable reactions. Sighing as his spark gave a comforting pulse; he suddenly allowed a small smile.

"Define 'fun'." Prowl was smirking ever so slightly as he finally looked into the strategist's face. Oh? So, he wanted to play that game?

"Feeding me, my own lines, 'Prowlie'?" 

_Ouch._ He could imagine the feigned wince on his brother's face. But he would never have been able to imagine the flicker of irritation and the slight grimace on Prowl's face. 

"Please don't become as insufferable as him. I've only recently managed to get him to use that in moderation."

"I'm shocked that you don't already consider me as insufferable."

"Oh? You sound almost disappointed." From the smirk on his face, Sunstreaker got the distinct impression that he was being picked on this time. It was, oddly relaxing.

"I pride myself on being impressionable and attention grabbing."

"You're certainly hard to miss."

"What's that supposed to mean, copper?" It was hard to be mad at that point. In fact, he found he had to bite back a smile in order to give his superior a stern look.

"Simply that. I hardly think I need to elaborate." Prowl sent him a laid back smile that somehow managed to make him return it if subtly. 

"I'll just work harder in the future." 

"I look forward to your efforts." 

Sunstreaker felt at complete ease for the first time since his brother died. It wasn't the first time he'd been relieved, but it was the first time he felt content with the moment. He'd been happy to know his brother's presence was there, but so many things were clouding that reunion and it was hard to settle everything when Sides seemed to know his every thought where he could only feel his emotions through his spark. Yet, genuinely in this moment, he felt like he could just forget and simply enjoy pointless banter. _Still hate him, bro?_

Did he? Scanning the elder's face, his initial reaction was no. No he didn't hate Prowl. Not as he would like to. The entire matter was just too complicated. "Prowl…"

"Yes, Sunstreaker?"

"How is 'Bee?"

"More concerned about you."

"Oh." Frowning, he looked down to his lap at his hands. 

"He told me what they said to you." The tone was gentle. Not the sort of gentle that sounded like he was tiptoeing around the yellow mech. It was the sort of gentle that said he was truly empathetic to his feelings.

"Did he?" The tone was dead in quality and once more he couldn't look at him.

"Sunny, you must understand that decisions are made by an individual." Prowl seemed to be walking carefully into the subject, but at that point, he was more caught by the use of his nickname. "How Sideswipe died, wasn't your fault. The decisions he made, were his alone. In the same way, the decisions I made were my own when I saved you. The ramifications of my decision will simply have to be dealt with."

This put him on the defensive and he couldn't understand why. But ever so gently, the thrum of his spark beckoned him to calm. _Sunny… just listen. Please?_

"The reason he made the decision was the same reason I made the decision."

"And what was that?" It was a bit dry, but he wanted to know the answer to this strange enigma. What had his brother and Prowl been thinking as they ruined his life?

"For you to live."

It was so anti-climatic and simple. Even though Sideswipe didn't say anything, he could tell that he was in complete agreement. "Fine." Glaring slightly at Prowl, he would have done the same to his brother if he could. "I can get that with my brother, so why the frag do you still want me around? And don't give me that whole 'life is important' slag. That's not enough, copper."

Prowl remained silent as he laced his white digits together. He seemed too serene and calm to even be real to the Lamborghini. "Why isn't it enough?"

"It's… It's just not."

Tipping his head back, Prowl sighed. "I don't know if I could fully explain my reasoning."

"I've got time."

"I didn't realize I was here to talk about myself." Prowl smirked lightly and Sunstreaker huffed. "Why is it important to know my reasoning?"

Well, to be honest he didn't know. So, he did the next best thing to get back at Prowl for asking him something he couldn't answer. "It's illogical."

The flicker in the SIC's face was enough to know he'd been had. Sunny rather reveled in the idea, but at the same time he was worried. _You know… if you want him to talk to you, Sunny… I don't think that was the best way to handle it._

Probably not. "Forget it. Whatever. So let's just get this over with. I fragged up. Lost my temper and went ballistic. What do you want from me, Prowl?"

_That was just a lovely recovery._ When did Sides learn to sound so… dry?

"There was a time when the last place I would have seen myself was in this chair, in this rank, and serving as second in command to Optimus Prime. Not for lack of ability, but for who I was at one time. There are individuals in this world that are never given the chance to reach their full potential, because they were never extended the faith and acceptance to try. No one should be overlooked because their surface is hard and unreadable."

"What?" Sunstreaker stared almost blankly at the tactician that was looking at him with that serene detachment that was so hard to see through. 

"That is my reasoning for never letting you give up."

There was a long stretch of silence as Sunstreaker tried to let his CPU grasp what he'd just heard. Slowly, second by second, he seemed to deflate completely. In a way, he felt rather… ridiculous. At the same time, he felt cared for. There were people that tried, Ironhide and Ratchet among them. But this was simply different. Foreign.

"I think we should stop for the evening. Please get some rest and relax. I'll see you at the end of my shift tomorrow."

Numbly, he rose to his feet as Prowl pulled out a data pad to read. Before he could move, he wondered who the tactician was saving at the moment. Was he stopping the session for the sake of himself or Sunstreaker? Turning to head for the door, he quietly spoke just before opening it.

"I don't hate you that much. It was exaggeration." With that, the door opened and he was gone. What he hadn't expected to hear, was the data pad slipping from Prowl's fingers to clatter upon the desk surface.

_I want to swim away but don't know how  
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean  
Let the waves up take me down  
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah  
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down  
Let the rain come down…_

-Finé-


	6. Jealousy Deep Inside

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG for now.

**Notes: **I'm at a tricky part. I hope that it doesn't lull a bit before I get where I need to go. It may not come so quickly as the first chapters because I just got a new fulltime job. But I'll go as fast as I can. Ok, implications to pairings are Sunny/Sides, Sides/Blue, Hide/Ratch, and eventual Sunny/Prowl. Thanks to my Chibi-kun for Prowl's diagnosis and kudos to LamboTwinLove for being my Siders muse and sounding board for a few of my crazy ideas.

**Warnings: **Moving on after death and plenty of angst.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Cold Heritage" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Lacuna Coil and Hasbro respectively.

_And Im lonely here inside of me_

_Deep inside of me_

_Believe in the light in me_

_And Im lonely here inside of me_

_Deep inside of me_

_Reveal the light in me_

-Cold Heritage by Lacuna Coil-

A day could go by like a year when there was nothing to do. He wasn't generally social able to begin with, but even anti-socialists reached their limits at times. Laying flat on his back on the berth in their room, he stared at the ceiling. Their. Yes, this was their room even if Sides was no longer physically able to share it. The only thing that kept it from feeling empty was the sound of his lost twin's voice rippling over his processors and CPUs. It was almost like the relaxing sound of water in a stream to a human. But he was noticing with acute clarity, why he liked having some down time from his brother.

Sadly, Prowl wouldn't be done with his shift for another eight hours. This left Sunstreaker with only the musing of his brother. Sideswipe was definitely the talker between the two of them. Perhaps it was the subtle silence he experienced around Prowl that made his company almost preferable at times.

_Don't think I didn't hear that._

The dry sound in Sideswipe's voice made him smirk. It wasn't easy to think about anything when you had someone constantly tuning into your thoughts. Sunny may have been happy to have his brother around in at least one way, but the lack of privacy could be trying.

"You already knew you were annoying, bro."

_Ha ha. Speaking of Prowl…_

So they were back on that topic? If Sunny could roll his optics, he would have at that moment. His brother was acting like a looping track. It seemed whenever he could, he would seem to back track to the topic of the SIC.

"What about him?"

_Well… you really got weird when he and Jazz were goofing around. _

"Weird?" Dead panning the word, he suddenly didn't want to go there.

_Yeah. Why were you so irritated? They've been best friends for vorns. _

Shrugging his shoulders at the bodiless voice, he tried really hard to ignore the trickle of laughter from his brother. Something about this topic really made him uneasy. Sunny preferred having his space.

_Better get used to this, Sunshine. You're stuck with me._

"Where I want to be happy about this, I have a feeling you won't let me be." His spark seemed to flutter and he could tell from the feeling alone that his brother was both laughing and puffing up with pride. "Pain in the aft."

_Better not forget it! So… tell me, my dear sunflower, do we like the copper?_

Instantly the yellow mech growled. "Don't call me that." But that wasn't the only reason he was angry. In truth, he just didn't want to talk about it. It was bad enough he had to admit to the 'stick-up-the-aft' SIC that he didn't really hate him. To go further into contemplation over the matter was like throwing up the red flag.

_Aw, c'mon, Sunny!_

"Shut up." Morosely he searched his mind for something to distract his brother with. Besides, he needed a distraction from that topic as well. That's when that itching thought at the back of his CPU came to the forefront like a teasing picture show in his RAM. "How far did it go with Blue?"

Obviously he'd managed to stay one step ahead of his twin this time. As soon as the question had been asked, Sides went silent. Frowning darkly, he prodded again. "I have a right to know, Sideswipe. Or are you trying to tell me there's a whole lot more you decided not to tell me?" His spark felt conflicted between anger, frustration, and panic. In truth, he couldn't tell which emotion was his, and which belonged to Sideswipe.

_Not… not long before I… died… I told him I… well… I told him I loved him._

It was like a tightly wound spring waiting to uncoil. The hurt rushed through Sunny's systems. It was soon followed by the feeling of desperation as Sides tried to calm him. Shuttering his optics, he carefully picked his words. "You told him you loved him?"

_Yes… Sunny…_

"What about me?!"

_I didn't know you felt so strongly, Sunny! You never said anything!_

"Neither did you! I thought you would just know! Why didn't you just know!?" A long silence followed his plea and he felt a sinking sensation of guilt. Was it his guilt? Or was this the guilt that Sideswipe was feeling?

_Please calm down! Sunny! We're twins, that doesn't mean we're mind readers._

"What did he say?" It was so hard. He really was attempting to stay calm, but it felt like the only person he ever trusted had plunged a knife into his chassis and began twisting it about to see if it could scramble his spark.

_He… he returned my feelings._

"And… you planned to tell me when?"

_I… We wanted to see where it went. I wasn't going to tell you if it wasn't going to work out! We were going to try things out after that battle. I… I just didn't… _It was a tone of regret and guilt. Sunny could pull his brother's voice apart just as easily as he could read his body movements. But then… why hadn't he seen all this coming? All this time he'd wondered why Blue didn't persistently try to pull him out of his room those last few years. It was so painstakingly obvious now.

"You were afraid to tell me…"

_Of course I was!_

"Then you knew…" Then he knew at least a little of how Sunstreaker had felt.

_Sunny! I didn't know! I swear!_ The other twin was pleading for his brother to listen, but Sunstreaker was finished. He didn't want to hear anything else. Somewhere deep inside, he knew he wasn't being fair. Sunny wasn't even allowing the other to explain things clearly. It was obvious he just didn't want to hear it. _Please, Sunny. Listen to me! I love you! I do. Can't I love both of you?_

"Shut up. Just shut up!" Even though it didn't help, his hands pressed hard over his audio receptors trying in vain to drown out the sound of his brother's voice. Pain ripped through his chassis and he wanted to just melt through his berth and cease to exist. But in the silence of their room, he found that he couldn't run away.

* * *

It had been the first time that claustrophobia had run him out of his own room. The walls had never before felt so close together and the air never before so stale. Walking slowly through the halls of the Ark, he was at least happy that his brother had fallen into complete silence. A span of half an hour had driven the disembodied twin to silence when he realized that Sunny was doing all in his power to pretend he couldn't hear him.

Reveling in the numbing silence, Sunny allowed himself to leave the room because he wanted to breathe. He also longed for something to put his mind on anything else. To a Cybertronian, thirty earth minutes was plenty of time to construct a rather graphic sordid affair. In his credit, that wasn't what he had been trying to do. Only his battered psych kept going back to the imagined theories of what had been going on behind his back. The yellow mech's only response was a dull ache in his chassis that didn't belong to himself. That was refreshing for one reason only. It meant that he was probably at least blowing his imagination out of proportion.

Now he just wanted to get rid of it all. Unfortunately, Prowl would still be on duty for another seven hours, twenty minutes and 36 seconds. Yes, he was counting at this point. And the accuracy of his processors only made him grimace. That meant that he'd only passed thirty-nine minutes and twenty-four seconds. Thirty of those minutes he'd been agonizing over his over active imagination and that deep feeling of betrayal.

This was his reason for proceeding to the Rec Room at a turtle like pace. Maybe the noise would take his mind anywhere else. Anywhere was better than where it seemed to wish to take up residence. Sadly, fate had other things in mind. Primus… it wasn't fair.

"Hey, Sunny! I just got off duty and wanted t-to see how… how you were and all!" The nervous tone of the gunner's voice had been the ultimate clue that his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. He'd walked straight into the path of Bluestreak.

"Fine." Grinding the word out, his blue optics almost darkened a shade. Anger was bubbling inside as he stared at the mech that had slowly been pulling his brother away from him. Yellow hands balled into fists as he ignored the stir in his spark that reminded him of panicked fear.

Blue, for his part, looked confused as he was pinned with the dark gaze. Shifting from foot to foot nervously, he seemed at conflict with himself as his mouth opened and closed a few times. "Um… ah… are… are you sure?"

"Oh. Just fine. Unless there is a reason I should be upset." Grinding the sound out of his vocalizer, the tone was surprisingly even only inflecting as though to hint at Bluestreak's indiscretion toward him. It worked in making the mech jump and stare at him in worry.

"S-sunny… I'm sorry I didn't say anything to Optimus! But! But I did when h-he…"

"I don't care about that." Deadpanning the phrase, he narrowed his optics. He'd never once thought ill of the mech for not speaking up when he'd been interrogated. After all, he'd been the one at fault, not the gunner. This was another matter entirely.

_Sunstreaker! Stop it! _

Why should he? Why should he leave this alone? The two of them were perfectly content with destroying his world while Sideswipe was in his body. This was just divine retribution as far as he was concerned. But the strong pain in his chassis almost made his systems gasp as his intakes drew in air to compensate for the overload on his circuits.

"B-but…" Bluestreak looked confused. Sunny was sure he had no idea as to why the warrior was so angry. How could he know? Only Prowl knew that he could talk to his brother now after he was gone.

_Please… Sunny… Sunny…_

Why did Sideswipe have to sound so pathetic? Why did he have to sound like that for Bluestreak? The pain increased and it was only because their pain was intermingling and threatening to overheat his sensors. Unfair…

_It's… it's not his fault. Please…_

Shuttering his optics, he tried to lock out that look of confusion and upset on the gunner's face. "Nothing, Blue. It's nothing. I'm just in a bad mood and need to get out."

The younger seemed to almost shudder with relief. He'd apparently been torturing himself in that brief moment of silence looking for his own transgression. The Datsun really did try to take the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was… too sensitive.

_Thank you…_ It was just a soft whisper, and if a voice could cry, he was distinctly aware that Sideswipe would have been. Only, this time it was in relief. So protective… he was so very protective of Bluestreak.

"Ok… why don't you go into town or something? They just took you off duty, but you're not under house arrest. It… it would probably do you good. Don't you think?" Watching the other try to smile brightly, he noted that hope in his gaze. Now that he wasn't seeing a glare of angry red, he felt a bit guilty. He was no less hurt than before, but he found that it was extremely hard to be mad at the other Autobot.

"I think I will." He'd not thought of doing so, but it was the perfect excuse to just get away. It seemed he was running away a lot these days.

"Good! Just promise me that when you get to feeling better… or if you need anything… you'll look for me, ok?"

"Sure…" It was like ripping his own spark out of his chassis and handing it over. Wasn't he even allowed to be broken-sparked? Couldn't he be hurt and angry? Obviously not. The thought of picking up his anger and throwing it at Bluestreak only made him feel sick. "Maybe I'll meet you after your shift tomorrow." Pausing, he tried to keep the feelings out of his voice and words. "We owe Red a prank, right?"

The light switch had been turned on and the other was smiling brightly. "Right. Be careful then, Sunny."

"Yeah." Brushing past lightly, he ignored that forlorn ache in his spark that he knew belonged to his twin. He didn't want to admit it, but he did hurt a little for his brother who was stuck on the inside only able to watch someone he loved. In the end though, he also felt sadistically smug. And neither of them would comment on the one thought that lingered in Sunstreaker's processor. 'Serves you right.'

* * *

After today, he would never question the mundane ever again about its usefulness. The drive into the human town had been strictly mundane. He'd even done the speed limit all the way there if only to stay focused on something. It was during the agonizingly slow pace that he found the form of escapism he needed. Art.

Upon setting a destination in his pointless roaming, he'd sped up a bit. If he tried hard enough, he could drown out everything else with the preoccupation of his favorite hobby. Hobby… it felt so strange calling it no more than a hobby. There had been a time in his life that it had been his living. Now it was a hobby and being a warrior was his living. Funny… he couldn't even be a warrior at the moment.

Collecting what he needed in town, he turned into the general direction of the Ark and cruised along the road slowly. The sun was hanging low on the western horizon signifying the amount of time it had taken to find artistic implements for a mech of his size in a world of tiny beings. Currently he just wanted to find something that called to him on this foreign landscape. He'd never told anyone how aesthetically charming he'd found this alien world. It was just simpler to pretend he hated it and missed Cybertron.

In truth, there was nothing on Cybertron worth missing to him. Whether he was on earth or Cybertron didn't matter to him one iota. Pulling to a stop on the russet colored hilltop in the middle of the desert, he stared out over the landscape silently. It was with an artist's eye that he looked at it all now. Transforming, he carefully set up the large custom made canvas in his lap as he leaned back against a large rock.

Carefully and with a touch far too gentle for the Autobot heavy hitter, a piece of charcoal slid gracefully over the coarse fabric. Only lifting his eyes to the horizon as the sun sunk lower, he fell completely entranced to his work. Each elegant sweep of his hand seemed to take the scene before him and place it on the canvas. Time slipped away quickly until the sketch was completely finished.

Slowly lowering his arm to his side, his head tilted backward resting against rock. Capturing all of the colors in his memory, he momentarily offlined his optics. It was so relaxing out there in the dying light. But even with the sounds of the wind and occasional animal sound, Sunstreaker felt isolated. Looking down at his sketch, he felt the air leave his exhaust in a sigh. Somehow, that emotion was reflected in each stroke on the canvas, and he didn't know if he liked his work any longer.

A shadow fell over him and he started as his head jerked up to see the black and white figure of his commanding officer. The elder was peering down at the canvas in his hand, and he was fighting the urge to hide it. His love for the arts was suddenly being force further down into his consciousness to keep it safely hidden from prying eyes. He expected the other to belittle the act; instead, the look on Prowl's face was that of quiet appreciation. And surprisingly he found he couldn't look away from his face.

"It's a lovely simulation of the landscape. I rather like the emotion that is displayed in each line you drew." That soft tone seemed to wash over him and worked out the remaining kinks in his processor.

"And you can see that?" There was a hint of a smile in his voice even though it didn't appear on his face.

"I would like to think so. Even a logical mind can find art pleasing to the optics."

"True. But not everyone, especially logical minds, can critique art."

"Ah, yes. Though, I have a history of learning how to look at art."

"Oh?" Sunstreaker chuckled, finally allowing that smile to work its way onto his face plates. "I never thought you'd surprise me."

"I suppose the human term 'live and learn' applies here."

"I suppose it does. Why are you out here? Did I…" Trailing off, he accessed the time and almost showed his relief. No, he wasn't late.

"No, you're not late. I'm still on duty. I had to take the patrol shift at the end of my communications shift. As you know, personnel are hard to come by these days." Smiling gently, the smaller mech moved to lean against the rock next to his current charge.

"Yeah. Sorry 'bout that."

"Didn't anyone teach you that you shouldn't apologize if you aren't sorry?" Prowl allowed a hint of a smirk to his lips keeping his optics on the setting sun.

"But that's about the only time I can apologize." Jabbing back, the yellow Lamborghini allowed his eyes to fall to his drawing.

"I'll keep that in mind." Without looking, he could hear the slightest movement as the elder turned his head to regard the drawing as well. "Art is a good medium for expressing feelings."

"Hm…" The noncommittal sound was the only response as one yellow fingertip touched the canvas. Prowl didn't realize just how on the mark he was. It was probably the only outward showing of his feelings that he could manage.

"I've always been a spectator, never an artist."

"How do you express your feelings?" Looking up slowly, he noticed the flicker in the other's face that told him he was a little taken back by the question. But he was genuinely curious.

"I can't say that I know how most of the time." The grave tone was perfectly honest. "I generally work hard and relentlessly to expend energy or emotions."

"Art… has always been my escape." Sunstreaker offered softly as he turned at the waist to dig through the cans of paint he'd collected that day. In a way, he wanted to return the favor. Prowl was trying rather hard to get him to open up. Those efforts even included the smallest of insight to his internal workings. "I've always needed something to run away to."

Prowl remained quiet, and he had a vague idea as to why. It wasn't often that Sunny bothered to explain anything. "There is something about putting your entire mind into something until nothing else exists. Sometimes it's my only way to get away from my own thoughts. Not many know that I was an artist before this war…"

"You shouldn't give up something you enjoy simply because of war."

"I don't think many would believe it unless they saw it."

"Does it matter if they believe it?"

Pausing in the process of mixing colors, he thought about it. No, it didn't matter. Or it shouldn't matter. Sunstreaker had grown comfortable with the cold shouldered dangerous warrior in the Autobot ranks. "No…"

A knowing smile slid over Prowl's face as he stayed quiet watching the younger as he smoothed a paintbrush over the canvas. Sunstreaker mused that it was almost a look of content. For some reason, the mere thought made him feel warm. "Had life not changed, I probably never would have known how much I loved art…"

"What changed it? May I ask?"

Sunstreaker smiled at the thought and flourished the brush in his hand with each stroke. Even though the story wasn't happy, he really did treasure that memory of the first mech to ever stand up for him as a sparkling. "Someone I hold in very high regard saved me you could say. My creators never let me enjoy anything I wanted to do. Twins aren't thought highly of… They are a bad omen."

"I fail to see how that is."

The younger choked on a laugh. "Well, for one it's not natural."

"Then… your creators held that against you and your brother?"

"Not so much Sides… he was always an open sparkling. They must have figured he was the only one that was supposed to have existed." Shrugging it off, his hand motions slowed as his mood changed. "So, I was just the unwanted one of the pair."

"That's… illogical."

"Not everything in life is logical, Prowl. You get used to it." A look of disgust fell over his face and he had to stop before he messed his work up. He waited for Prowl to say something to this, but nothing came. "What? Nothing to say or ask?"

"I won't ask for more than you are willing to give." That was why he was learning to like Prowl. He didn't pry and he took everything so calmly. "But you say you get used to it… if that is so, why then, do you sound so defeated?"

Stiffening a little, he finally shook his head. Defeated? Yes, he felt that way. Because even though he escaped his creators, he still had to deal with everyone preferring his brother over him. The reasons simply changed, but the desired effect was the same. "You're just imagining things, copper."

"Funny, I've been told I have no imagination."

"You shouldn't believe everything you're told."

Silence settled once again, and he found himself looking up to see what had stopped the elder in his tracks. The funniest expression of confusion was on his face. It seemed as though the other was thinking about that small exchange. "That… is almost… a paradox."

Sunny laughed. Leaning forward a bit, he shut down his optics and let the moment take him away. Inside he could feel Sideswipe suddenly relaxing. Had he been that uptight all day? "I'll try to make it more complicated next time, Officer."

"That wouldn't be wise. Then Ratchet will be after you for having to fix my logic center."

Curiosity won him over as he leaned closer to look at Prowl's face. "Logic center? Why would he have to fix it?"

The elder mech only smiled serenely and shook his head. "I think you'll just have to find out one day. I don't give away all of my secrets easily. But I warn you, Ratchet truly dislikes fixing me."

"Oh? So you're a patient he dislikes more than me?" Grinning slightly, he finally sat his art implements aside to give Prowl his complete attention.

"Impossible as it sounds, that is 68.7 percent of the time a true statement."

"Heh. I'll have to stick around next time you're in med bay."

"If you don't care for your life, then you may try. Try being the keyword of course." Canting his head to the side to look at Sunstreaker, the younger felt locked in that gaze. "Are you feeling better?"

Looking a bit stunned, he turned his eyes back to the canvas. The sun had disappeared almost completely over the horizon sinking them further into the shadows. In that short time period all of the anxiety, pain, and frustration slowly bled out with each paint stroke and word he'd spoken to the Datsun. "Yeah…"

"I don't suppose you want to tell me what had you so vexed?"

"…No." Trailing off, he frowned at the ground trying to not think about it. Instead, he didn't even realize his vocalizer was running ahead of his thoughts. "Sides was going to leave me for Blue."

Looking at the younger in surprise, Prowl studied the sullen face as he continue to talk ignoring his brother's protest. "It's like waking up one day to realize the one person you believed in and loved the most decided you weren't important anymore and moved on… Prowl…"

"Yes?" The concern in that voice almost made him cry; instead he bit back all of the emotion as best he could.

"When I found out… I was happy for a moment that he was dead… so they couldn't be together." With each low toned word, he was bending in more and more on himself. The shame and guilt of that revelation was driving him to want to disappear again. Cringing as he heard the other move, Sunny knew that thought alone pinned him as a monster. Or worse… a Decepticon. What he hadn't expected was the body to settle into his side as one arm tentatively curled about his shoulders. Shuddering, he forced his hands not to clutch at the fragile wooden frame the canvas was stretched over.

"Jealousy… is a definitely a force to be reckoned with." The words seemed so awkward, but they were still so gentle. "I will not condone that way of thinking, but I will not shun you for it. All I can say is… if you truly love your brother… you'll forgive him and be happy that he knew love and treasured another."

It took a moment to make the shaking stop, but when Prowl's fingers gingerly swept over the sunshine yellow plates of armor of his shoulder he let go. Each sweep drew out that awkward pain and left him feeling a touch calmer. "I'll try…"

"That's all that can be asked of you."

His intakes kicked in to try and soothe his own processor and spark further before attempting to lighten the mood. "So, in your expert psychological opinion, doc, what's wrong with me?"

From the corner of his optic, he caught that smirk curling Prowl's lips. "My diagnosis is that you have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder with major Depressive Tendencies with a 4.89 percent chance of Dissociative Identity Disorder otherwise known as Multiple Personalities."

"Primus… I'm fragged. But at least I don't have OCD like a certain mech I know." Sunstreaker returned the smirk lightly as he feigned shock. Clearing his exhaust he gave the other a sheepish look as Prowl released him and moved to stand. "Now… could you tell me that again in simpler words?"

Laughing a bit more openly this time, Prowl shook his head. "Look it up." Brushing the dust off, he moved to look in the direction of the Ark. "I need to head back and look over the duty roster. I probably won't have any free time this evening. So, we'll count this as our session."

"Sure…" It came out nonchalantly, but inside, he felt oddly disappointed.

"But feel free to see me in my office if you need me." With a nod, he started in the direction of the Ark only to pause one last time. "I'd like to see it when you're finished. I really do like it."

"Yeah… sure." With that, the strategist walked away with Sunstreaker's eyes pinned to his back as he went.

* * *

"I'm just saying that you're being hard on him, Ironhide."

"I'm jus' disappointed, Prowl! I thought him better than that."

"He's had it rough. You should know that."

The old war worn mech gave a reluctant nod to the tactician and rubbed the back of his head. "Your prob'ly right Prowl. I'll talk to 'im later."

"I'd appreciate that."

"So… is he, uh… doin' better an' what not?"

"I think he is. But it takes time."

"Yeah." Looking down, the red mech let out a humanlike sigh. "Jus' a lot on the processor, ya know. Ratch has been tense an' all. Makes me tense." The SIC simply nodded to the Weapons Specialist. "Any way… that all, Prowl?"

"That was all I needed, yes."

"Then I'll do as ya ask. Don't work too hard t'night." Waving, he moved off in the opposite direction leaving Prowl to go in the other.

The heavy steps of the red mech faded in time, leaving the near silent footfalls of the Datsun that suddenly stopped when they reached his office door. There propped up against the metal frame was the same canvas in full color. It was the perfect replica of the evening sunset. Attached to the painting was a small piece of paper in elegant writing simply saying one line:

Hey Copper, just keep it. – Sunstreaker

Prowl smiled as he picked it up. With a shake of his head, he opened his door and disappeared inside purposely not making note of the yellow and black mech quickly rounding the corner in retreat.

_I've never _

_Felt myself this way before_

_I don't want to leave you with my tears_

_If you disappear_

_Believe in the light in me_

_Saving all my words only for you_

_Forgive me…_

-Finé-


	7. Old Habits Die Hard

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG for now.

**Notes: **Here's to my Chibi-kun for being my muse. She's helped with a lot of my puzzling just like LamboTwinLove. Oh, and last chapter, sorry it went up and down, I'm a grammar fanatic and when I see something, I freak out and want to fix it. As for future chapters, I regretfully say it will be slow going cause of my job. But I will do my best to do a chapter a week! Try, being the keyword. How am I doing so far? Let me know! I'm more than happy to hear suggestions as well as comments. Eventual Sunny/Prowl, implied Sunny/Sides, Hide/Ratch, and Sides/Blue.

**Warnings: **Well, mostly angst and more angst.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Breaking the Habit" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Linkin Park and Hasbro respectively.

_Memories consume_

_Like opening the wound_

_I'm picking me apart again_

_You all assume_

_I'm safe here in my room_

_Unless I try to start again_

_I don't want to be the one_

_The battles always choose_

'_Cause inside I realize_

_That I'm the one confused…_

-Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park-

"We could put a password lock on all of his data pads!" The gunner chimed happily in a not so hushed tone. Sunstreaker would have to teach him the meaning of covert at a later time. For now, he was simply doing his best to appease the Datsun and his twin.

"That's lame. Try harder."

_Go easy on 'im, Sunshine! He's new at this!_

Was it just him, or did Sides sound excited over this entire session of 'let's mess with Red Alert'? Glancing at Blue, the mech almost looked like he was visibly picking at his processor. "Well… um…"

_Oh oh! Send him love letters signed Starscream!!_

At this, Sunstreaker proceeded to choke on his energon and cough in a wheezing manner. "Oh Primus… letters from Starscream?!" Of all the ridiculous…

"Letters from Starscream?" Bluestreak looked completely confused as he stared owlishly at his friend. "What kind?"

Had he said that out loud? He'd have to give his brother a good audio full later when he wouldn't look like he was crazy talking to himself. What had Prowl called it? Associative… Disassociative? Oh pit… it was just easier to say Multiple Personalities. And if Sides valued his immortal spark, he'd stop that howling laughter. Grumbling out the words, he really didn't want to take credit for this idea. "Love letters…"

Instantaneously the younger was snorting and choking on his own energon. "Oh! Oh, better yet! Love notes from Megatron!"

Sunny had to laugh at this. "I'd like to see how Red would react to that. Or Prime for that matter when he sees the messages when they're intercepted."

_See! You shouldn't scorn the master._

There was a human word for his brother. Sunny was sure the word was retarded. Shaking his head, he looked at Bluestreak who was sniggering like a hyena. "We'll log that one away for future reference."

"O…. Okay!" Blue was still laughing as he leaned over his energon. The mech was almost cute in his amateur prankster spirit. Playing his fingertips over the table surface, he pointedly ignored the yelp of protest from his twin at being over looked for his 'brilliant' idea.

_Fine you doubting dandelion! I shall make an even better, more amazing prank just for you and Blue to use!_

Primus help them all. Why was he here? Oh right… he'd been a real pain in the aft. And as pissy as he was about his brother leaving him for another, he couldn't help but like the nervous little mech that talked too much for his own good.

"How about… we somehow access intel and send a coded message about the Decepticon's wanting to rid the world of cupcakes?" The gunner looked so hopeful that Sunny really didn't want to laugh at him. That was a cross between lunacy and hilarious. Sideswipe on the other hand was laughing so hard, it was making him breathless.

"Ah… work on that idea a bit before we consider it." Coughing, he attempted to search his own processor for something to suggest if only to partake. Well, if only to look like he was trying. That part was for Blue… the trying at all, that was for Sides. Losing his brother and his attentions was the last thing he wanted. Just thinking that sent a warm feeling through his chassis, and he knew that Sides was attempting to reassure him. "I like the idea of breaking into his room while he's on double shift and rearranging it to be the mirror image of how it is originally."

"That would be hilarious! It would totally make him feel like he's going crazy." Nodding emphatically, Bluestreak was still laughing.

_Where that isn't bad, my dear brother, you know I'm better._

It took everything not to snap at him. Setting his jaw in a manner that might be taken as thoughtful, he covered the irritation. "But starting small and getting bigger may be a better thought. It will build him for something drastic like that."

_Stop trying to sound smart. _Snickering in his processors, Sideswipe made a thoughtful noise as Blue nodded again in agreement. It was obvious to him and Sides that the younger would agree to about anything. _Oooooh… You know that dye… the one that Ratchet has been working on?_

Oh. Ooooh… He remembered that dye all too well. It had been a project between Ratchet and Wheeljack to create a dye that was undetectable and didn't leave a residue. They'd been successful, but they decided against using it because once on, Ratchet had one pit of a time finding it to get it off. Oh… that was evil. "Blue… I think I know what we can do first."

The gunner looked at him curiously as he explained the dye in a low tone. Even after the explanation, the Datsun looked confused. Grinning from audio to audio, Sunny went on to explain his idea. "You see… when he's recharging… if we can get into his room, we can put the dye on his optics. You see, it's blue, and where transparent, he'll be seeing the world through cerulean colored glasses."

"Oh…" The dawning of realization hit the younger and he grinned in return. "It won't really hurt him though, right?"

"Nah… it'll just be like wearing contacts. And where it'll take forever for Ratchet to find it, it is reversible."

"Do you think you could get it from Ratchet?"

"I'm sure that I could." The haughty response made Sides snicker. But that was how it always was. Once his mind set on something, he was hard to deter from it.

_That's my, Sunny! _Feeling that warmth made him smile. Ever since the day before, Sunny had been afraid at the detachment and silence of his twin. Angry as he was, Sideswipe was everything to him and the idea of him pulling away into his spark had scared him. Well then… mission accomplished.

Leaning back in his chair, he half listened to Bluestreak as he rambled on about ways to get around Ratchet and the security system. The other half was focused on that singular feeling that he identified as his brother in his spark. It was this reason that he didn't hear the heavy footfalls of another mech as he came to their table.

"What mischief are you two brewin'?" Ironhide stood by their table, fists on his hips. His eyes were narrowed in mock correctional fashion as he looked from the Datsun to the Lamborghini. Blue smiled at the other and laughed nervously. Sunny on the other hand, sank further into his seat.

"We're not being bad 'Hide!" Sunny would laugh if he didn't feel suddenly on the edge of his seat. Blue was so bad at hiding guilt. He was all but holding his hands up and confessing to a crime he'd not even committed yet.

"Right… 's hard to believe when you're talkin' alone with one of the biggest prankers Cybertron's got t'offer." The red mech grinned at them both and lightly placed a hand on Sunstreaker's shoulder. It wasn't missed when he winced away from the touch in slight fear. Ironhide gave a sigh and kept his attention on Bluestreak. "Mind if I borrow 'im for a moment, Blue?"

Shaking his head quickly, Bluestreak was quick to get on his feet. "No problem, 'Hide! I'll leave Sunny to you." Smiling warmly to Sunny, he waved to both of them and walked off. Was it just him, or was the mech walking a bit more buoyantly now? Inside his CPUs, he could have sworn he heard a longing sigh. Instead of admitting that it could have been, he pushed the thought aside while staring holes through the table.

Remaining silent as his surrogate progenitor sat across from him, he kept his eyes down. It hadn't been that long since he screwed up. Really, this had been the first time Ironhide had even looked in his general direction. It had been hard being treated like that by someone that did mean something. So, after being cold shouldered since, he felt out of place now that he was being addressed.

"How ya been holdin' up?" The tone was quiet and a bit guilty in tone.

"Ok."

Nodding slowly, Ironhide leaned back in his chair and made a thoughtful sound. "Same as always. Ya never give a truthful answer. Never have… Mind bein' a lil honest this time kid?"

"I'm sorry." The tone was barely audible and he saw the way the older inclined his head to hear what he was saying. Sunny hated apologizing. It was generally not in his vocabulary, but after being drug through the silent treatment from the mech, he was willing to try anything.

"Are ya?" Hide's voice was a little surprised as he finally chuckled and shook his head. "I am too. I was takin' my problems out on ya when I shouldn't have."

"Your problems?" Looking up startled, Sunny gave him a curious look. It wasn't like Ironhide to push his problems on other mechs.

"Yeah… Ever since Sides passed… Ratch' has been real off. He spends hours in 'is workshop and I rarely see 'im. Been a bit nerve wracking. You two, pain in the afts that you are… he really thought tons of ya." In a nervous habit, the elder rubbed the back of his head as he thought about what to say. It was no secret to anyone that Ironhide and Ratchet had been an 'unofficial' thing for quite a few centuries. Sunny and Sides had figured it out first. They, more than anyone, had known about the rift that had developed between him and Chromia. After all… they'd never taken that last step in the relationship and spark bonded.

"Do you know what he's doing?" Keeping his voice low, he still felt as though he should be walking on thin ice. That's when it occurred to him that he'd seen Prowl talking to Ironhide when he'd made quite the retreat from the officer's office door. Frowning a bit, he made a mental note to ask Prowl about it.

"Not a clue. Won't even let 'Jack in there with him. It's got us completely stumped." Shaking his head, he looked back at Sunstreaker and something like sadness slid into his optics. "I was a bit surprised ya didn' come t'me when he died. But then, I've been helluva lot harder on ya than the others."

"I'm sure all 'father' figures are harder on their 'children'." To be spoiled by the other mech would have disappointed Sunny and his brother. They liked having someone that thought more of them. Where he was strict, Ironhide did something most others didn't do; he saw more than sparklings and believed in them. "You should worry about Ratch…"

"Ya know… might do 'im good if you saw 'im. For somethin' other than fixin'." The weapons specialist looked at him hopefully and the Lamborghini had to smile just slightly in return.

"Sure… if you promise he won't throw everything not bolted down at my head."

"I can't guarantee that, but I'll see what I can do." Both chuckled lightly at this. "Do ya think you've got it together, kid?"

"I'm getting there. I guess…"

"Prowl's gettin' mighty fond of ya. He really is takin' your side about things 'round here for a while now. At least I know with 'im, that once he sets his mind on somethin', he won't let it go till he's content with the results. He won't let you down."

"Yeah… he's a stubborn aft." Stubborn he may be, but the thought of him standing by him even when he wasn't around was oddly refreshing. He'd never believed the SIC would do such a thing had 'Hide not pointed it out.

"Does it upset, ya?"

"Nah… not so much anymore…"

The older mech merely smiled at him before reaching out and thumping the yellow bot on the shoulder. "Good. I think y'all could learn somethin' from each other."

"That's a scary concept." Grinning in a smug fashion, he felt a bit lighter now that he didn't have to deal with the guilt of Ironhide brushing him off. Even Sideswipe seemed to be basking in that hopeful contact. "I'll try for Prowl and I'll go see Ratch."

Nodding, Ironhide rose to his feet and squeezed Sunny's arm. "Ya do that."

Watching him walk away, he wondered idly what Prowl had said to get the other to come to terms. If that was what it could be called? Not that it mattered, he was just relieved he didn't have to deal with that anymore. Sliding his fingertip over the table surface again, he found himself checking his internal clock for the time. The Datsun wouldn't be off duty yet. He'd at least try to wait for him to get off.

* * *

_You'd wait, huh? What's gotten into you, Sunny?_

If he'd known an answer, he probably would have used it to help him remedy that nagging feeling to just forget time tables and aggravate a certain black and white mech. Instead, he was walking toward the main control room in search of Prowl. When had he become so pathetic? Even Sideswipe was having a hard time figuring his twin out with all the access he had to his brother's thoughts and feelings.

So, he merely ignored the question as he rounded the last corner only to stop in his tracks. Just in the room he heard the voices of Jazz and Optimus as they discussed. He didn't have to see it to know Prowl was listening. Prowl always listened. Rarely did the tactician interject unless he wanted clarification. Leaning just enough to peer inside, he wasn't surprised to see the back of said Datsun as he faced the other two, his hands folded neatly behind his back.

"Seems t'be some crazed activity in two areas. Teletraan thinks that it might be due t'the 'Cons. Though, one is less likely than the other." Jazz was the first voice he heard, though he couldn't see him through Prowl's imposing figure.

"Less likely?"

"Yeah, Prime… there's no reason for 'em t'be there if ya know what I mean. The other is a possibility for gatherin' energon."

"What are the locations?" Prime turned to face Jazz allowing Sunny to see the small yellow figure sitting at Teletraan. Frowning, he remembered the last time he'd seen that minibot. At least Bee looked like he was ok.

"The most activity is out near the Gulf o' Mexico near the refineries." Jazz spoke again pulling his attention back to the conversation. "The other seems to be in Carlsbad, New Mexico. It seems remote enough…"

"But it could still be something." Interrupting Jazz, Optimus looked to Prowl finally before continuing. "I'm going to lead a party out to the Gulf. It'll be large since there is a higher chance of conflict there. Will you take a small team to check out the other area?"

Prowl gave a crisp nod. "I think a small envoy would be best."

"I will be taking Jazz with me, but I'll allow you to pick your team before I choose anyone else."

"Seems ya're on your own, Prowler." Jazz chuckled. "Gonna be a'right without me?"

"I think I'll manage." The tone was clipped, but still seemed teasing before he returned his attention to Optimus. "I would like to reinstate Sunstreaker this time. It shouldn't be a conflict zone and it will be good to have at least one heavy hitter on my team."

"Is that a wise decision, Prowl?" It was obvious in his voice that Optimus wasn't completely for the idea. It didn't surprise Sunstreaker though. He always seemed to treat him like a delicate subject. Well, the leader actually treated him like a volcano that was going to blow any minute. What did surprise him was that Prowl was pushing for him.

"I have confidence in him, sir."

There was a long silence and Sunny felt his spark skip a pulse. Why did those words seem to mean something to him? Dropping his optics to the floor, he just knew that Optimus wouldn't go for it. It was still too soon.

"Sir…?"

All optics rose to look at the minibot that was now facing them and on his feet. He smiled as he achieved their attention. "What's up, Bee?" Jazz was always the first to react.

"I would happily go on Prowl's team with Sunny." Stunned wasn't the word for what he felt right then. But he did feel intensely guilty suddenly.

"Bumblebee…. Very well, if there are two that are voting confidence in him, I'll allow him to go. This will be a test run."

Both Bee and Prowl nodded in thanks to their leader. "I'd also like to take Wheeljack along if you can spare him, sir."

"I think we can manage. Jazz, I need you to come with me. We have to plan our route and course of action." The special ops officer nodded and fell into step behind Optimus as he turned to leave. Pausing, the leader of the Autobots glanced at Prowl and spoke softly. "Be careful, Prowl."

"As always, Optimus." Bowing his head to this, he smiled at the Prime. "You as well, sir." With a nod, both Jazz and Optimus left the room. Turning slowly to Bumblebee, Sunny saw only Prowl's profile. "Thank you."

"I only did what I wanted to do. I was there, I think I know what happened with Sunny better than most. It was rotten what Skywarp said. I can't say I wouldn't have done the same." The scout was always chipper and positive to the end. Sunny allowed the guilt to eat at him as he leaned back against the wall no longer watching them.

"That is true."

"Hey, Prowl?"

"Yes, Bee?"

"How do you keep everything so controlled? I mean… I can't see you ever losing it and I know I shouldn't think that." The minibot sounded genuinely curious, and Sunny realized he was as well. What was it that kept the strategist so calm and controlled?

"It is easy to have that impression of me."

"I take it; you don't plan to answer me." The younger chuckled.

"Maybe someday, but not today." The tone hinted at a chuckle.

"All right, all right… fine, I'll get your secret someday though!" Still sounding amused, the bot took it all in stride. Only, Sunny wasn't as willing to let it go. He wanted to know more. Prowl was quite an enigma, one he wanted to solve.

Maybe another day he would try to solve it. Today, he was feeling the first hints of excitement he'd had in a while. He didn't have to just drift about the base aimlessly. He was actually going to be going on a mission again.

_Better remember to thank Prowl and Bee, Sunshine. _Sides was laughing and the sound was playing over his CPUs warming his circuits. Sunny would remember. It was only fair that he did so for the two that actually made a stand for him. It seemed it was getting a bit easier each day to believe in the impossible. For now, he had a mission to get ready for.

Moving away quietly, he decided he'd wait for Prowl to call him. He would do better this time. It was a promise he was making both to himself and to the ones that were going out on a limb for him. Things would change; they had to.

* * *

"Are you getting anything, Wheeljack?" Prowl's soft but authoritative voice broke the silence of the desert drawing his attention to him. Sunstreaker had tried not to react when Prowl had approached him that day. The yellow mech had practiced a touch of patience and calm hoping to support Prowl's belief that he'd improved.

"Not at the moment, no. I'm a bit stunned they'd come out here for anything." Wheeljack shook his head, the fin like audios flashing as he spoke. There was a hint of curiosity in his tone as he continued to scan the area for any hint of Decepticon activity. All of them wanted at least some hint of a reason for there to be any to begin with. All of the party was coming up short.

"It seems too remote out here. The only thing out here I can think of are the caverns…" Bumblebee spoke up from a little ways from Sunstreaker. The minibot was shielding his eyes from the bright sunlight as he looked over the landscape.

"I don't want to believe the Teletraan was mistaken… but I feel this may have been a pointless trip." Prowl frowned as he walked with Wheeljack keeping vigil as the scientist worked. Sunstreaker found he wasn't really watching anything at all. Well… that was only half true.

There had been many missions that he'd gone on with Prowl, but this was the first that he found himself keeping watch over him. Keeping watch, or just simply watching him? He really couldn't tell.

_Why are you so fixated?_

Sunny didn't have a clue to be honest. In the past all he could see was his twin. If he wasn't watching his twin constantly, he was always looking for a fight. Those were his priorities in that order. Now, he felt calm and didn't care if there was a fight. For some reason, that thought troubled him.

Even Sideswipe seemed confused by this. It also appeared that the other twin was opting not to push Sunstreaker on the subject. Where Sunny adored Sides, there was a limit to his patience and he was easily triggered. For now, he was a spectator as Sunny's optics continuously flicked back to Prowl's form. When had the strategist gotten so graceful in his movements? It was a subtle grace and each motion was fluid. Had he suddenly acquired it, or had Sunny just been blind all this time to Prowl? The mixed and confused thoughts made him sigh.

"You doing ok there, Sunny?" Jumping, the yellow mech looked at the scout near him and shook his head.  
"Fine. Just got a lot on my processor." His tone was hesitant whenever he addressed the minibot. There was still a large amount of guilt stored up inside when he thought of the little Volkswagen Beetle.

"Just relax, ok? This is an easy mission and it gets us all out and about. Nice cure for boredom, don't'cha think?" Grinning brightly, the other seemed completely unaware of Sunstreaker's dilemma.

Nodding numbly, the scout turned his attention back to the caverns and waved at him. "Let's go look at them! Spike said that they are a major tourist attraction for the humans."

"Wouldn't it be wiser to stay away from the humans, Bee?"

"Don't worry so much, Sunny! It's a different entrance to the tunnel system than the ones the humans use. Granted they use a much bigger one…" There was a look of dismay on his face and Sunny knew it was because he was disappointed. It was obvious that Bumblebee rather liked this planet and its inhabitants.

Shrugging his shoulders, he started after the other bot quietly hanging back a bit. Every so often he found himself staring back over his shoulder at Prowl. It was getting rather… unnerving. No, annoying was a much better word. Facing forward, he noticed that Bee had been side tracked by some rocks that were lying just a bit away from the cavern. "What are you doing?" Calling over, the minibot grinned and waved at him excitedly.

"I think it's petrified wood! I've read about it! You should look at it."

"Uh… no thanks."

"Suit yourself!" Chuckling, he went back to examining it leaving Sunny to scowl. Really, some of his comrades were simply weird. It only became amusing when his brother seemed to agree with him.

Drawing his optics back to Prowl, he seemed to daze off for a while. The tactician was talking with Wheeljack while they walked very slowly in their direction. From what he could tell, Bee had wandered even further off inspecting the natural formations. He'd long since left Sunny's hearing range.

"I think we can safely say there is nothing here."

"That mean we're heading back, Prowl?" Bee called back to the Datsun who gave an affirming nod. It took a moment for Sunny to even register that his counterpart was scurrying past him in the direction of the elder mechs.

A soft shrill sound suddenly began ringing in his audios. Turning to the general vicinity of the sound, he frowned. It was a familiar sound, but with the low pitch, he couldn't put his finger on what it was. Focusing on it, he noted the steady but slow increase of volume.

"Are you coming, Sunstreaker?" Prowl's voice was a bit closer this time. Turning to see the older walking toward him, he glanced past him to see Wheeljack and Bee heading back toward the highway quite a ways off by now. It seems they'd assumed he was following. Prowl must have been more aware and looked back to find him. Why did it seem that he was always aware of where Sunstreaker was?

"Prowl… do you…" That was all he could get out before his internal sensor alarm sounded. Prowl seemed to notice as well as his optics turned quickly from him to something behind him. Whipping about, his optics fell on the Seeker that had set him off not so long ago. Skywarp.

He must have warped there to that position, because there was no way he could have made it there that quickly without his sensors warning him sooner. Frowning further, he realized the sound was still growing louder. He also discovered what it belonged to. It was the sound of a jet engine. This could only mean one thing. Another Seeker was following in his wake.

"Why hello there Autobot scrap. You gave me quite a bit of damage last we met. Not to mention the flak the others gave me for letting you catch me unaware. I went to great lengths to try and draw you out." Staring in bemusement, Sunny could feel the anger in that voice. Skywarp was obviously looking for revenge for their last meeting.

"Is it wise to be out here alone, Skywarp?" Sunny all but smirked at the Seeker. Had he been paying attention, he would have heard Sides asking what he meant by 'drawing him out'. Sunstreaker wasn't one for analyzing things. Rather, he preferred action. "Though, I'll happily give them more reasons to give you flak. In fact… how about I make you into a nice field of slag for them to scavenge?"

"I'd like to see you try!" Suddenly the Seeker had his weapon up and pointing at something behind him. "That's far enough!" Without looking back, he knew that he was talking to Prowl. "As for you!" The gun was suddenly pointed at Sunny again. "I have a score to settle with you."

"That's wholly unfair! You're no match for me." That cocky grin was on his face and his fingers were itching for his own weapon.

"Ha! No match? You are nothing but slag under my feet. You'll be ready for the scrap heap in no time just like your brother! He was scrapped like the Autobot trash he was! Time to cut down the ranks by one more lackey!"

Slowly, word by word, second by second, Sunstreaker felt the anger rising with each undercut made toward his brother. Numbness washed over his CPUs and he could no longer hear his brother's voice as it pleaded with him to calm down. It was like bending a wooden rod harder and harder until finally it would give and snap. "Leave my twin out of this!"

"What? Think yelling at me will bring him back?" Laughing loudly, Skywarp smirked darkly. "You're hopeless, Autobot! And your brother should've let you die that day. He was better than you--" He didn't get to finish that as Sunstreaker snapped. All this time, all those vorns of always believing that line, he couldn't take it any longer. It was too much when even your enemies saw just how 'worthless' you were in comparison with your twin… For so long he never fought back. Say what they would of him, he'd only ever fought back when it was directed at his twin. This time… It was too much and it was the final straw that would break the thin veil of control. In a fit of rage he launched at the boasting Decepticon with a roar.

Both tumbled backward as he landed a few hard punches to the Seeker. Skywarp had been stunned at first, but he seemed to catch his wind and started blocking and throwing hits of his own. It was a one good hit to the head that made his head clear enough to hear that engine whine loudly as the other Seeker touched down.

"Sunny! Move!" That was all he heard as Prowl ran to him. It was followed by the sound of Thundercracker's automatic incendiary gun firing. Each thing seemed to happen all at once and in a split second he felt a double impact. First was the heavy feeling of a form colliding with his, the second was a few rounds connecting with his side exploding on contact. Both forms tumbled across the desert floor followed by the continued fire in their wake.

Pain ripped through his sensors and for a moment he felt like he couldn't move. He didn't want to evaluate the damage; that took too much energy and focus. What surprised him was that as soon as they stopped rolling he felt arms wrap around him and quickly drag him further. That was when a heat seeking missile hit the ground near them in a narrow miss. It was the wrong moment to activate his optics. The power behind the missile impact was large enough to give them the momentum to launch forward into the opening of the caverns.

One more missile hit before they finally stopped the disgraceful tumble into the darkness. It was that hit that caused the rocks to shake and soon cave in on them. The little light he could see was quickly disappearing as they were immersed in darkness. What had just happened? It couldn't have been more than a matter of minutes for those events to occur. Why hadn't he made the connection of the engine sound to Thundercracker?

Now he was fighting to stay online through the intense pain in his torso. What would happen to Wheeljack and Bumblebee out there alone? He'd screwed up again. He'd screwed up and he'd let both Bee and Prowl down… Oh Primus… Prowl…?

_I don't know what's worth fighting for_

_Or why I have to scream_

_I don't' know why I instigate_

_And say what I don't mean_

_I don't know how I got this way_

_I know it's not alright_

_So I'm breaking the habit_

_I'm breaking the habit_

_Tonight…_

-Finé-

I'm so sorry! I didn't want to give a cliffhanger! But I promise I'll work on more as soon as I can!


	8. Trust to Follow You

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG for now.

**Notes: **I'm very sorry about throwing in that cliffy. But I wanted to keep this chapter on its own. I'm sure as you read it, you'll see why. (Or so I hope.) I also will have posted another sidestory called "On the Brink of Dawn" that takes place during chapter seven. It's from Prowl's point of view. It's a little something to show how he progressed to doing what he does here. Sunny/Prowl, implied Sunny/Sides, Hide/Ratch, and Sides/Blue.

**Warnings: **Well, mostly angst and more angst. And... stronger hints to Sunny/Prowl. XD

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Life is Like a Boat" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Rie Fu and Hasbro respectively.

_Nobody knows who I really am_

_Maybe they just don't give a damn_

_But if I ever need someone to come along_

_I know you would follow me and keep me strong…_

-Life is Like a Boat by Rie Fu-

_Wake up!_

Sideswipe? It was such a faint sound in the back of his processor that he wasn't too sure. Drifting in the darkness, he felt like he should be remembering something. What was he forgetting?

_C'mon, Sunny… wake up._

But why? It felt so comfortable here and blissfully numb. Whatever it was that was nagging at his processor was hidden deep inside of his CPUs where he didn't have to think about it. There was just so much he didn't want to think about.

"Sunny…"

That wasn't Siders. Frowning, he felt drawn to it. Even though he didn't want to wake up, he was drawing closer to consciousness reaching for that voice. That cool, calm serene voice…

"Sunny… wake up…you need to stay online."

Prowl. It was like reaching for a warm flame in the midst of the darkness. He really was trying to wake up now. He wanted to answer that concerned voice that was so gently asking for him. A rockslide of memories hit him as he started to remember. He'd lost it again.

"Come back to me, Sunny… please."

He was calling him Sunny again. Why did that stick out to him? Because Prowl rarely used nicknames for anyone in the Autobot ranks. His spark seemed to stumble through a few pulses and he didn't know why. Dimly his optics came online in a faint shade of cerulean. Fuzzy at first, his vision slowly made out the shadowy form leaning over him. "Prowl…"

The softest sigh met his audios and he partially smiled at the relief in the tactician. Only, it faded as he placed exactly where they were. The last thing he remembered was being dragged into the caverns by Prowl and it caving in on them afterward. "Can you move?"

Frowning deeply, he tried to comply with the question as he attempted to move. His limbs responded, but pain shot through his networks causing him to throw up firewalls to stop it from sending him back into stasis. "Yeah… but it hurts like the pit."

"I don't doubt it."

Looking up at the other, his night vision revealed the tight expression of concern mixed with relief on Prowl's face. He wasn't looking at Sunny's face; instead his eyes were on his torso and chassis. "How bad is it?"

"It wasn't an immediate vital hit. But what could have been potentially dangerous… I think I've done a quick enough repair to staunch the bleeding out of energon. Your side is torn up… it… narrowly missed your spark chamber."

"Seems I'm making a habit out of barely making it out alive." The deadpan tone faded off as Prowl's optics flashed to his urgently with an open expression of worry. What was that about? "Not that I'm trying to get killed or anything…"

Prowl visibly relaxed back into that serenely placid expression as he reached out to work on a few more injuries on the younger's torso. "I didn't see you get hit anywhere else… is there any damage I didn't find?"

So, the SIC was worried he wanted to die? Smiling softly, his spark fluttered then settled again. Maybe he should get that checked? It wasn't normal. For all he knew, he could be getting something similar to what the humans called heart problems. Shaking his head, he ran a scan over his systems. "No… it seems the only damage was to the torso area…"

Silence fell over them and he could only hear the faint dripping sound of water from various corners of the caverns. "I'm sorry."

Staring in slight surprise, he questioned the elder skeptically. "What for?"

"I wasn't fast enough to get you out of the way."

"That's hardly something that was your fault." Rolling his optics, he moved a hand to tentatively pat Prowl on the shoulder. "Besides… I was the one that lost it… again…" The urge to apologize boiled up, but he capped it off. It was a fail safe trigger every time. Some habits he wished would just go away when he really did need to do something. Pride be damned.

Prowl shifted and placed his palm against the undamaged area of Sunny's chassis causing him to shudder softly. It was almost as though Prowl were checking to make sure he was still alive. "I'm glad you're alive." It was so soft, Sunny had to really strain to hear it.

"Prowl?" The other shook his head and he felt a sudden wave of frustration. "And they say I have problems talking." Huffing, he turned to look about the surroundings. The inside of the cave was actually rather beautiful. He was a bit sorry that he'd scorned Bee not long before about wanting to see it.

Stalactites and stalagmites were forming in all areas creating artistic formations in the dim light. The soft drip of water from one formation to the other had him momentarily entranced. It was simply gorgeous. The damp rocky structure glittered with each trail of moisture. Some led to small pools of water in the cavern floor that seemed to ripple with the light play. Maybe he could see what the humans saw in this place.

While his attention was sliding over the landscape, he didn't even seem to notice that Prowl was moving to sit facing him just beside his leg. It wasn't until he felt the contact of his knee to Prowl's hip that his optics returned to the Datsun. The other seemed lost in thought before his voice broke the stillness.

"I do have problems talking. I always have."

"I'm sure you tell Jazz everything." Bitterly spitting that out, he regretted it the moment Prowl seemed to shut his facial expression down.

"Jazz knows more than most, yes… but mostly by observation than by my saying anything." The tone was clipped and guarded. "Do you have something against our friendship?"

"Che… don't get so defensive, Copper." He felt guilty, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize yet again. It was always easier to pin the fault off on someone else. Another habit that he wished he could get passed… at least for certain individuals.

"The one that knows the most about me is Optimus…"

"What?"

"Only because I owe him more than any other." Sunsteaker gave him a puzzled look but didn't say anything. How could he reply to that? "I haven't always had the designation Prowl…"

"What do you mean?" The younger stared on quietly shocked. Was the other really telling him about himself?

"I don't know who my creators were. I was taken away from them before I could have any permanent memories of them. The ones that took me were an organization that was known as the Special Correctional Force. It was said that Cybertron was a peaceful place and that military was not necessary. But there was a secret enforcement militia that functioned to keep the 'peace' in the shadows. They worked in the darkness and would eliminate threats in secret. To do this… they had to create officers that had been raised and formatted to be emotionless. If you were raised with nothing, you could miss nothing…"

Sunstreaker stared at the other mech in a stunned silence. Of all the things he thought he'd learn about the strategist, this hadn't been it. "So… you were… raised as one of them?"

Nodding slowly, the other looked off in any direction but the younger's. "I was SCF Designation Night Stalker. I worked at night and recharged during the day. At that time, I functioned only with my battle computer and logic center. I was their intelligence agent as well as an assassin. I assume that because of my Logic Center being the best ever in the history of Cybertron, that I was chosen at creation to play this role."

"That isn't to say that I didn't have a normal operating system or lacked a spark. I had a great desire to learn and they didn't seem to mind it. They even allowed me to go out during the day when work was low to learn. I found, that I really enjoyed watching others. I suppose that would be living vicariously through the lives of others."

Frowning deeply, Sunstreaker felt a bit… sad… for the elder mech. Not that his past was all sunshine and happiness, but at least he'd had Sideswipe. Shifting as a slight pang in his side hit, he jumped when Prowl leaned forward and brushed his fingertips over the younger's wound checking it just to be sure. How was it, that Prowl seemed to always know when he needed something? "Why… are you telling me this?"

"Because… you play too big of a part in my transition not to allow you to know… and… I can't expect you to trust me… if I won't trust you." The words were quiet, but they hit straight to the spark. "That and someone made a few points to me I couldn't ignore."

"I… play a big part? How can that be? I didn't meet you till…" He trailed off as he made the connection. Prowl wasn't always Prowl. So… they'd met before when he wasn't Prowl.

"Do you understand?" When he didn't answer, Prowl quietly went on. "One day while I was walking through the market place I noticed people gathering. I was curious to know what had their attention. That's when I saw a mech about to hit his sparkling."

"That… that was you!" Sunstreaker jerked and yelped in pain from the sudden movement. In an instant Prowl was pressing him back down with a gentle but firm grip on each of his shoulders. "You…" Panting out the word, he stared at those optics that were so close to his right then.

"Yes. That was me." When the strategist was sure Sunny wouldn't move, he sat back again and shook his head. "By that point, I'd learned to question the methods of the SCF. I was learning to appreciate life and dislike what I was required to do. I couldn't stop them from hurting others, but I could stop that mech from hitting you. So… I didn't think twice about stopping him. I had only planned to take you home and never come back. A sparkling shouldn't be near someone in my position, but I couldn't let it go… when you told me I'd made it worse."

Pausing, the elder seemed to really think about this. The dim light reflected off the white paint of his armor softly and silver light illuminated one side of his face. For some reason, Sunny wished he could draw that image. He was certain no one else had ever seen Prowl like this, and it made him oddly happy. "Was it… did you do something to take Sides and I out of that house?" He'd always wanted to know. He had to know.

"Yes. I knew I couldn't do it through my own ties. Everything through the SCF was tainted and bound to backlash. That's why I sought out Optimus Prime. I'd heard much about his fairness in judgment. Times were getting precarious, factions were being established… He was the only one I felt trustworthy. When I went to him and requested you and Sideswipe to be placed in a new home… he willingly agreed… on one condition."

Sunstreaker felt himself leaning forward slowly wanting to be close so he wouldn't have to strain to hear his voice. "What was it?"

"That I return the favor by working for him."

"That's a bit unequal in trade."

Prowl laughed softly, a smile he'd never seen before sweeping over his faceplates. It made his spark stop pulsing a moment. "No… it wasn't fair. Before I'd asked him about you… I told him about my feelings about the SCF. It wasn't fair at all. Because he pulled me out of it in secret… I was reformatted and a delicate balance was created between my original operating system and my battle systems. Optimus Prime was the one that designated me as Prowl. He saved me. For this and many other reasons, I will serve him until the day my spark stops pulsing."

Sunstreaker was at a loss. It was like turning the lights on not only for how he understood Prowl, but also on how he understood the Prime. Now he owed a debt of gratitude to both Prowl and the Autobot Leader. All of those years of scorning him, and all along, he'd played a part in improving his years as a normal citizen on Cybertron.

"Oh…" He was at a loss. It was all too much to take in. "Did… did you ever wonder if he kept his promise?"

Prowl continued to smile as he shuttered his optics. "I was raised to be untrustworthy. So yes… I did wonder. That was why I found you again to make sure. Not that I approached you. I just made sure… In fact, I kept coming back when I could to see how you were doing."

"You kept coming back?" Shock filled his features. Why would he keep coming back? That just didn't make sense. Why should he have even cared?

"Yes. I knew you became an artist. I admit I'd never given art much thought before hand. But I learned to appreciate it so I could go to one of your art shows before the war broke out." Suddenly the smile faded and he looked at Sunny in what appeared to be apology. "I only hoped you wouldn't have to leave that life you seemed contented in."

"Life sucks then you die." Deadpanning it, he didn't mean to make the elder wince like that. "Look… the war isn't your fault, so don't apologize for it. What does piss me off… is that you were like a shadow all my life and didn't think to speak up before now." Glaring at the other, he saw the SIC shift uncomfortably.

"I didn't know you even remembered that incident."

"Why wouldn't I? You were the first mech to ever give a damn about me!"

Wide blue optics stared at him before slowly slipping back into that serene expression. "I don't think that is true."

"Sideswipe doesn't count!" Even though he heard his brother protest weakly, he set it aside to focus on Prowl. "Frag it, Prowl! You're an idiot!"

"Sunstreaker…"

"Sunny."

"What?"

"Call me, Sunny." A silence fell, and neither spoke. He was angry, yes, but truly, he didn't want to push the other away. Truthfully, he didn't think he could at this point. The fragger managed to get under his armor and force a way into his life.

"Sunny…" It sounded awkward, but affectionate. That alone made what anger that was left seem to melt away.

"Thank you." Clipping the response, he couldn't help that partial smile at the corner of his lips. Watching the elder for a long moment, he suddenly had the funniest thought and it made him chuckle.

"What?" The other looked genuinely puzzled by the sudden outburst. Sunstreaker knew that he was wondering what he'd said came out humorous.

"Mech in shining armor…" Through the chuckling that was all he got out.

Prowl looked utterly bewildered and it made him break out into a full laugh. "I… I fail to see…" Sunny had to work hard not to laugh harder. It rather hurt to do so.

"Nothing, Prowl… nothing."

"You shouldn't laugh…"

"Yes mother."

Glaring at the younger, Sunstreaker noted that look of irritation before allowing his optics to trail over the older's body. It was then he noticed the slightly tense posture and the rigid angle that his doorwings stood at. "Is something bothering you, Sunny?"

"Are you hurt?" After all the fuss about himself, he hadn't even stopped to ask if Prowl was all right. Frowning at himself, he wanted to move to check for himself, but he knew Prowl wouldn't allow it.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Primus you're stubborn."

Prowl chuckled tightly. "I've been told that, yes." Looking about, it was obvious that the older didn't want to discuss his wellbeing. "We need to get out of here… but I don't think moving you would be the best idea. My communicator is jammed through the rocks and doesn't have much of a range." Turning to Sunstreaker, the yellow mech knew the question before it was asked. Therefore he turned on his comm. before he was even asked cutting the officer off.

"No… nothing but static."

"This does make things difficult."

"Well… at least we got a session in to make good of the time."

Prowl laughed. It was the richest sound he'd ever heard. Though it was tight from the pain he was probably in and their predicament, Sunny still loved it and the way it seemed to bounce off the walls in light echoes. "Yes… I suppose that's true."

"I'm glad you told me." Shrugging his shoulders, his body language didn't betray just how 'glad' he was to know so much about the SIC. Either way, it seemed to relax the other just a bit more. "I guess I have no excuse now… but since you know so much about me, I don't see the point in telling you more."

"Sometimes… talking helps more than we think whether the audience knows the story before hand or not."

"Thanks, Doc."

Shaking his head, Sunny caught glimpses of that amused smile on Prowl's lips. Since Prowl didn't answer he went on. "What shall we do then, to pass the time till the others find us?"

Instead of a response, he saw the other stiffen and look off into the caverns. A frown was on Prowl's face and he was slowly rising to his feet. Giving him a curious look, the elder held up a hand to keep him quiet. That's when he heard it, the sound of heavy footsteps. Those didn't belong to a human. Turning his head as best he could, he realized that the rock he was leaned against kept him from seeing anything. On the other hand, Prowl slid up next to him and ducked behind the rocks. Clenching his jaw, a shiver ran through him at the contact of the other's body pressed against his. It didn't even seem to faze the strategist as he peered over the rocks in the direction of the sound.

They were growing closer and soon stopped completely. Neither he nor Prowl moved as they waited. It was too hard to define friend or foe from his position, but from the look of Prowl's posture, the answer was obvious.

"If you aren't dead Autobot, you'd better come out! I don't have time to play hide and seek with you!" Skywarp bellowed into the darkness causing the sound to echo loudly against his audios. "I'm not finished with you!"

Both stayed still as the sound of steps came again, this time dangerously close. His sensors picked up the Seeker even though he couldn't see him. The feeling of helplessness was too much. He hated it. At the same time, he felt safe with Prowl's form so near to his. The elder knelt in a poise that was ready to spring. That's when it occurred to him that the Datsun's acid pellet rifle was gone. Frowning, he turned his head to look for it, and the slight movement was enough.

The soft sound gave the Seeker a direction and he was quickly moving their way. Before he could react, he felt Prowl push away moving him just enough out of the way as he threw himself into Skywarp's path. Watching in surprise, the two flew past him from the momentum and slammed into the rubble from the cave in. Only the faint silver light highlighted them giving away their movement. Skywarp's movements were jerky, almost clumsy. That was the only reason he knew that Prowl's night vision must have been superior in the scuffle.

Seconds after the impact, the Datsun curved his form catching the Seeker's mid section with a foot shoving him off. Just as quickly he was back on his feet in one graceful motion. Sunny was mesmerized. Watching the movements, it seemed almost like a complicated dance where no sound was made. Where had he seen that style before?

_That's… Diffusion._

Yes, Sideswipe was right. Their tactician not only knew the martial art, he was a master of it. For now, Skywarp was at a great disadvantage and couldn't seem to land a single hit. But on Prowl's part, he wasn't trying as hard to hit back. It occurred to him that the tactician didn't like to kill even though he could. Strange… they were so different.

Jerking into realization, he noticed that Skywarp was moving to use his weapon. But it wasn't with the intent to use it on Prowl. Red optics locked on his and the Seeker smirked. It was obvious he wanted to finish the job that Thundercracker started. With wide optics, he attempted to get up, but the pain overrode the attempt threatening him with system shut down. "Slag it!"

If he got hit, he was finished. But the Seeker wasn't allowed to take aim. Prowl had a hold of Skywarp's arm and pulled it away from Sunny's direction. The move was awkward and unplanned. It proved that the tactician hadn't thought it through. It served to pull him away from Sunny, but it left him open to be hit.

Skywarp growled in anger from the interruption and used his other hand to grab onto the nearest part of Prowl. That happened to be a doorwing. Sunstreaker heard the shriek of metal tearing under extreme pressure and saw the way Prowl tensed from the pain. He'd heard about the sensitivity in doorwings. He'd heard it could be excruciating… But Prowl only seemed to stop moving, but he didn't make a sound. It was enough though for Skywarp to use that grip to rip the mech about and push him face first into the rocks.

Weapon to the back of the SIC's head, Sunstreaker panicked. In a rush of fear, he was quickly on his feet and running at the Seeker. One fist connected full and hard to the side of Skywarp's head sending him stumbling to the ground losing his grip on Prowl. Following his descent, he was on top of the Seeker hitting him again. By the third swing, the red optics faded. Shaking from pain and over exertion, he stared down at the Seeker hands trembling.

Prowl shifted until he was on his knees next to the warrior. Sunny could tell his motions were stiff from the pain, but he couldn't move himself. Pressing a hand to Sunny's arm, his voice was soft. "It's ok, Sunny… you knocked him offline."

Only offline? Sunny had wanted countless times to rip the spark right out of the Decepticon. But now, as he looked down at the unmoving mech, he felt a little sick. Darkness was biting at the edge of his optics and he began to sway. Before he could fall, the hand on his arm pulled him and he fell into Prowl's chest. Pressing his face into the side of the elder's neck, he shuttered his optics.

All he could feel were the gentle hands checking his wounds and the gentle thrum of Prowl's spark. It felt… warm and safe. He didn't have to be anything. He didn't have to amount to anything; all he had to do was just be. There were soft murmurs in his audios, but the sound was all he needed, not the words.

After what felt like hours, bright yellow light flooded in warming his cooling armor. It was soon followed by the anxious voice of Bumblebee calling their names. Somewhere in his mind he could hear Prowl answer. They must have been digging them out… Funny, he was almost loathed to leave that embrace and the glittering insides of the cavern.

* * *

The next thing he remembered was waking up to see the ceiling of the med bay. It seemed he was waking up in a daze rather frequently today. His intakes drew in a long gust of air and he turned his head to look about. Not far from him he saw Ratchet sitting with a look of deep thought on his face as he stared at him. Blinking, he felt suddenly like a lab rat under observation. It wasn't the first time he'd been patched together by the medic, what had him looking like that? Unless…

Fear caught in his vocalizer as he suddenly turned to look in a different direction looking for the Datsun. He was injured too, right? That meant he should be in there with him… where was he?

"Stop squirming about ya slagger." Grumbling in that gruff tone, Ratchet was on his feet walking toward him. That pensive look was still on his face causing his spark to tighten in his chassis. "If you're thinking that you're dying, then you're out of luck. You're alive and well."

"That's not…" Frustration filled his face as he tried to sit up only to find Ratchet's hand on his chest. "Ratchet! Where is Prowl?!"

This seemed to shock the medic and wiped that look off of his face. Optic ridges rose as he answered. "I released him yesterday because he was driving me up the wall with his stir crazy behavior. I'm sure he'll be back soon. He just left to get some energon. I had to force his aft out of here."

Yesterday? How long…? "How… how is he?"

"Better than he was when you two came in here all fragged up. One doorwing was hit by an incendiary round and the other was ripped from the center to the edge. I was surprised the stubborn bot didn't fall out on you from the breach of his pain threshold." That last part was a growl of irritation. "You two are a messed up pair. First he wakes up and hovers over you like a mother hen until I forced him out to get back to work. Then you wake up looking for him." It wasn't hard to know why Ratchet was so puzzled by them. For one, Sunny was completely unconcerned ninety percent of the time about other mechs. When he woke up in med bay, his first concerns were generally his appearance and Sideswipe. Those two were interchangeable in priority.

But the thought that Prowl had been so worried about him was a nice feeling. He'd been so sure that after his twin died, he wouldn't have anyone there to worry. Relaxing, he let the subject drop. "How long have I been in here?"

"About three days. You would've been the next addition to the scrap heap had Prowl not done first aid on your sorry aft. I don't know where he learned how to do it, but it was efficient as well as effective."

He had an idea, but he wasn't going to share. It felt rather good to share such knowledge about who Prowl really was. For the first time in a very long time, he felt that feeling of being trusted. Sides had been the only mech to ever trust him in the past. It was a new and nice feeling to have.

"Sunstreaker…"

Broken from his reverie, he looked at the medic and saw that look again on his face. Giving him a confused expression, he queried lowly hoping not to set him off. After all… he'd promised Ironhide he'd talk to the medic. It was just lousy circumstances. "What is it, Ratch?"

The elder CMO seemed to hesitate as though picking his words carefully. "The damage was close to your spark casing… so, as a precaution, I did a check there as well for damage. There was no damage… but there was something else I found." Pausing, he seemed to ignore the growing confusion on the Lamborghini's face. "Have you… felt or heard anything from your spark…?"

The dawning of realization hit him. His spark… he didn't know how, but Ratchet somehow knew about Sideswipe. Fidgeting, he tried to look anywhere but at the CMO. "Well… yes… I…"

"Why didn't you say anything you fragger?! Why didn't you come to me as soon as you knew?!" The tone was more than just a chastisement. This was full blown anger and frustration. This was hurt.

"I didn't… I didn't think it would matter! How'd you know anyway?" He was desperate. The medic needed to calm down and he didn't know how to do that in any other way than to distract him.

It seemed to work as the elder went quiet. After some deliberation he spoke again in a low grumble. "Your spark… it's almost like… a binary star. Your half spark is tightly attached… or even orbited… by another half spark." Stopping, he glared hard at the surviving twin on the table. "His spark returned to you when his body was destroyed."

Looking defeated, he could only offer softly. "What does it matter, Ratchet? His body is gone… at least let me keep what I have left of him…"

Silence fell between them, and for a moment he hoped it had been dropped. Instead the next words that came from the CMO made his spark nearly stop pulsing altogether. "I rebuilt Sideswipe's body."

A sound at the door pushed him out of his daze. Turning to just the right angle, he saw the wide optics of Prowl as he stared at him with an open expression of surprise. Neither said a word… after all… what could they say?

_I want you to know who I really am_

_I never thought I'd feel this way towards you_

_And if you ever need someone to come along,_

_I will follow you, and keep you strong_

-Finé-


	9. Reluctance to Decide

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG for now.

**Notes: **This will be more of a song fic than the previous ones. The lyrics will pop up throughout in between scenes. I left off on a crazy note… I hope you all liked that tidbit. But I warn you…. I like building on my ideas more than just jumping right in. (Thank CLAMP. XD) Thanks to Chibi-kun for helping me think things through. 3Sunny/Prowl, implied Sunny/Sides, Hide/Ratch, and Sides/Blue. I don't know how I got this out so fast... well... I'm exhausted now. XD

**Warnings: **Tons of angst and indecision.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "I Still Do" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to the Cranberries and Hasbro respectively.

_I'm not ready for this,  
Though I thought I would be.  
I can't see the future,  
Though I thought I could see._

-I Still Do by Cranberries-

Sides… his body was rebuilt? Did that mean that… it was almost taboo to even think of the possibility. Only seconds, mere seconds had passed since Ratchet had told him that he had been rebuilding his brother's body. So that was what the medic had been obsessing over all this time. In a way, he wondered what Ironhide would say to this knowledge, but that was only background noise in his mind. The only thing that didn't cling solely to that single bit of knowledge was the part of him keeping his optics on Prowl who seemed to be stone still in the doorway to med bay.

_Sunny… Sunny! This is great! What if… what if he can get me back in my body?_ He could feel the reverberation of pure excitement in his chassis. If a spark could do flips, he was sure that Sideswipe's was performing acrobatics. It was leaving his systems gasping for air.

"Since they haven't merged completely… it is plausible that I could return his spark to his body…" Ratchet spoke on with an eerie calm. There was a determination in his gaze that made Sunstreaker shift slightly in discomfort.

"You… repaired him? But… why?"

"Don't be stupid ya glitch! I wasn't going to let him stay a pile of rubble. It was…" The elder seemed to drop off and his optics seemed to stare through him. There was pure guilt in that expression. The medic felt guilty for losing his brother to begin with. "I wanted to at least make him presentable for the mausoleum…"

Both he and Sideswipe sobered at this. Neither liked the idea of the CMO being so hurt by them. Even if what happened wasn't planned or intentional, they didn't like being the cause of his distress. Reaching out cautiously, he placed his hand on the medics shoulder. _Sunny… tell Ratchet it's not his fault… he did his best I'm sure! He always does…_

"Hey Ratch… neither of us think you failed. Sides says he knows you did your best. Don't blame yourself, ok?" It was hard to be the one that was reassuring. It wasn't his forte. In the past, he always left that field up to his brother. "We'd have been scrap metal long before now if not for you."

"That's fraggin' right. You two were walking disasters! You worst of all!" Sunny slowly relaxed and so did his twin. It was the Ratchet they both knew. "And I'm always having to save your afts! I should format you into a blow dryer for keepin' the fact that Sideswipe's spark came back to you from me!"

Instantly, as if conditioned, he flinched and made to duck. Only this time the elder didn't move to hit him or chunk a random object at him. "You'd miss me, Ratch."

"Che… like a hole in my processor." Grouchy as it sounded, the medic smiled taking the edge off the comment.

"And I'd leave a huge hole."

"Only because your ego takes up too much space."

_Ooooh. Burn._

If Ratchet weren't there, he'd verbally tell his brother to shut up, but he thought better of it. The mood wasn't quite as delicate now as it had been before. "Do… do you really think it's possible?"

"What he thinks is irrelevant." All optics turned to the source of that voice to see Wheeljack next to his workshop door. Arms were crossed over his chest in an irritated fashion and his gaze was directed at Ratchet. "I already told you that it was too risky! But you went and told him anyway?"

"I know I can do it, Wheeljack!" Growling in return, Sunstreaker was surprised by the entire exchange. It was rare that they so blatantly disagreed. "Even you said I have Sideswipe's body in perfect working order!"

"And you do, but that doesn't mean that it will be simple as subtraction to get the sparks to separate." Though his tone was calm, Wheeljack's audio fins flashed an odd reddish orange. "I don't think you're in your right mind to do such a delicate procedure."

"You have no right to judge my abilities! I'm the Chief Medic here, not you."

"Ratchet, you're obsessing. You've been obsessing ever since Sideswipe was killed. I thought you'd gotten past it for the most part… then you tell me you've been rebuilding him? That's not a good sign." The inventor's optics narrowed as he went on. "You know as well as I do that the bad out weighs the good in this procedure."

Ratchet stood there shaking just barely with his hands in fists at his side. Sunstreaker watched him quietly and lowly queried. "Ratch… what does he mean?"

"What I'm saying is, if it doesn't take, one of you will die. And I don't mean existing as you are now; I mean one of you will completely fade away. The end." Mouth open ajar, Sunny stared at Wheeljack in surprise. Gone. Completely gone, not just bodiless… One of them would be gone forever to the matrix if things went wrong. "We don't even know if all of Side's memories will be stable once he's back in his body. He could end up being a vegetable as the humans call it."

"You're being pessimistic, Wheeljack! You're a scientist and a medical officer! It's our jobs to accomplish things like this. I know I can do it!" Ratchet didn't falter in his words. There was no hesitation. It was slightly encouraging to Sunny, because he had faith in the medic. But he needed to get out of there. He wanted out to think it over. He just wasn't ready for this.

"Let me… let me think about this. It's a lot to take in." He could tell that Ratchet wanted to argue, but Prowl was the one to step between him and the CMO.

"Let it go Ratchet. He needs to think." That soft voice was like a balm on a burn. Without a thought, he reached out and lightly placed his fingertips to the small of Prowl's back. Was it his imagination, or did he feel the smallest of tremors from the strategist at the touch? As the Datsun turned, he met the older's optics silently. "Let me take him to his quarters. He can rest there and not be pressured."

He always knew. How did he always know?

"Fine. But call me if you feel any further pain or problems." Ratchet was gruff as he spoke. It was obvious that he wanted to continue his argument with Wheeljack as soon as they would be gone. The medic moved away as Prowl held his arm out to him. Without hesitation, he took the white hand and let the tactician pull him to his feet. Supporting him gently at his side, Sunny was careful not to touch the newly repaired doorwings.

As they walked slowly out of the med bay, his CPUs swam about at all of the possibilities. It wasn't an easy decision to make. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he wanted to have Sides back. But if it meant risking losing him altogether… Frowning tightly, he dropped his head allowing the other mech to lead him along.

"Just think about it. Don't push it and take your time." Canting his head to look at Prowl's profile, he noticed the perfectly neutral expression that gave nothing away. It was too perfect, which meant he wasn't saying what he wanted to say.

"What do you think?"

"I think I'll support you in any decision that you make." It wasn't that he doubted him. Slowly but surely he was learning that Prowl didn't lie to him. He only told half truths. Clenching his jaw, he faced forward. Sunny didn't like that rigid silence that was settling between them. "Talk it over with, Sideswipe."

Blinking in surprise, he swore he heard an edge of bitterness in that tone. Though, it was faint and barely there. It was probably just his imagination. It was never good to make something out of nothing. It was easier to just let it go. "Yeah… I'll do that."

_I don't want to leave you,  
Even though I have to.  
I don't want to love you.  
Oh, I still do._

_Need some time to find myself.  
I wanna live within._

In the darkness of his room, he sought solace and time to think. If he could, he wanted to coil in on himself and for a moment just be. But he also wanted to know what he should do. Decisions like this were meant for those with more insight and intelligence than him. Where he never fancied himself a follower, he didn't like to make choices that could destroy the most important mech in his life.

_Sunny. Wheeljack is probably just being paranoid! I'm sure they'll work it all out and it will be fine. _The excitement was still there, and Sunny was loath to let it infect his half of their entire spark. He wanted to be reasonable rather than impulsive. That impulsiveness only seemed to destroy him in the past.

"What if he isn't? What if it really is dangerous?"

_Do you have so little faith in Ratchet?_

"I can't lose you completely!"

_But I don't think you will… I'm tougher than that, Sunshine._

"I think you're far too optimistic."

_Someone has to be for the both of us._

"Che… idiot." Shuttering his optics, he felt slightly cold there in the dark curled up on Sideswipe's berth. It was like a security blanket. Right at that moment, he couldn't hold his twin; therefore, this was the next best thing.

_But you still love me._

"Hn…" Sunny didn't want to love him right then. He wanted this to be less complicated. Because things were far more complicated than either of them wanted to admit. There were so many reasons telling him to agree to it, but there were just as many telling him to disagree.

_What is it, Sunny? Why are you shutting me out?_

The only thing that saved him was the chime at his door. Lifting his head, he stared at it for a moment ignoring the little curse his brother made for their intruder. Sliding off the berth, he moved to the door almost wondering if the person on the other side would override the lock and come in. Only one mech would do that… but this one wasn't doing that. Spark sinking a fraction, he hit the button to open the door. Bright light flooded the room to reveal a jittery Bluestreak in the hall.

Oh. Yes, this was a reason he'd been hoping not to remember just yet. Turning his head to the side, he muttered a greeting. "Hey, Blue."

"Sunny! I'm glad you're awake! R-Ratchet told me I'd find you here…" There was a mixture of relief and anxiety on that face as he begrudgingly stood aside to invite him in. Bouncing a bit as he entered, the younger instantly began to chatter. "I heard the distress call from Bee and 'Jack on the way back from the Gulf. Optimus had us all alter our route to help dig you two out. Luckily, Bee and Jack managed to fend off Thundercracker till we got there."

"Oh?" He'd completely forgotten to ask how they'd gotten home.

"Yeah! They were really upset that they weren't there to help you out to begin with. Jack says that Thundercracker was cursing about how Skywarp was aiming to have a shot at you for humiliating him. Seems he was the one that set up a 'disturbance' in the second area to see if you'd come out. Anyway, he was clobbered out cold when we got to you guys. Granted, you were too and it scared me!"

"Guess I have more lives than a cat." Rolling his optics, he flicked the lights on and sunk onto his own berth slouching against the wall.

"I… I guess so. Sunny… Ratchet… he well…" The other stopped when Sunny groaned. So, the medic had to go and tell the last mech he wanted to know. Wonderful.

_Sunny…_ Oh no, he wouldn't let Sideswipe stop him this time.

"What did he say?"

"That you well… that he could bring Sides back." There was a gleam of hope in the gunner's optics and he felt suddenly irritated.

"So he thinks."

"Can… can you really talk to him?"

The Lamborghini didn't want to answer that question. He didn't want to be the mediator between his brother and Bluestreak. In fact, he'd sooner scrape off his own paint. "Yeah."

"R-really?!"

"Yes! What do you want from me, Blue? Wasn't it enough that you were taking him away from me?!" Once again his anger carried him away. The room felt colder as the silence thickened.

Bluestreak instantly trembled and began to fidget on the spot. "I… I won't feel bad for loving him, Sunstreaker! You can't make me feel bad about that! But I never intended to take him away from you!"

"That's a load of slag, Bluestreak! You knew fraggin' well that I loved him more than anything!"

"You sure had a lousy way of showing it!"

_Oh Primus… Please stop! Both of you!_

It was Sunstreaker's turn to quake as he dropped his optics to the ground. There was a tumultuous mix of anger and pain now in his spark and he couldn't let it go. "I bet… you wouldn't even care what the danger was, you'd just want him back. All that matters is that he comes back… right Blue? Well… maybe I don't want to give him back…" It was like venom pouring from his vocalizer and he felt more than heard Sideswipe's shock.

"S-Sunstreaker…" Blue looked completely shocked. There were conflicting emotions on his face, before he finally started to back away. Part of the warrior felt bad for the naked pain in that face, but the other told him he deserved it.

"Leave me alone. Just go away. I don't want to talk to you right now." There was a heavy numbness settling in his spark, and he knew that Sideswipe was pushing him away inside. But what could he do? He couldn't lie; he didn't want to share even though he wanted his brother back.

Bluestreak looked like he wanted to say something. His doorwings would lift then fall only to lift again. Finally he seemed to break. Without a sound he spun about and ran out of the room. As the door closed, he caught a hint of tears in the Datsun's optics. Sinking further into his berth, he felt completely alone. Not even his brother wanted to talk to him and that burned like live embers in his chassis.

For a while, he almost believed that people were happy that he was alive. Just for a brief time, he'd let himself believe that he mattered as much as his brother. Curling in on himself, he slid his head into his hands. It was too quiet. The silence felt like a hammer against his CPUs and it was breaking him.

He didn't want to be alone. In an instant he was on his feet and moving to the door. There was no thought as he moved down the halls. Even if he'd have to endure lack of conversation, at least the silence from that one mech wouldn't make him feel like he was slowly bleeding out. With Prowl, he could at least pretend that he was important and that's what he thought mattered.

_Can I go my own way?  
Can I pray my own way?  
I don't want to leave you.  
Oh, I need you._

_Am I ready for this?  
Did I think I would be?  
Can I see the future?  
No, I can't see._

"But I know I can do this!"

"The chances are only fifty-fifty, Ratchet!"

When he'd heard the yelling, his mind had cleared slightly. The yellow mech had wandered down hall after hall that he thought would hold the SIC. What he hadn't meant to find was a conference room full of officers ready to beat sense into one another. Dropping against the wall, he allowed a dry thought to enter his processor. He was becoming a regular eavesdropper.

"Don't ya think you're bein' hard on 'im, Jack? Ya know better than anyone what he can do." That was Ironhide. It was no surprise that he would be the first to stand up for his mate. The bot was strictly and completely loyal.

"I think you're blinded by your faith in him, Ironhide."

"Calm down, all of you." Optimus spoke evenly drawing them all into silence. "This is a severe matter that needs to be handled with clear processors."

"Hmph! I think the answer should be clear."

"Stop being so stubborn, Ratchet." Wheeljack sounded irritated at this point.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't be? I aim to save a life." It wasn't as blatantly scornful this time. It was actually a valid point. Medics were meant to save the lives of others.

"Where this is true, Ratchet, I don't believe you're viewing the matter with a level head. You're letting your emotions run away with you." The Autobot leader offered gently. "I don't even know what to think about you secretly repairing Sideswipe to begin with."

"C'mon Optimus… can ya blame 'im?" A short silence followed Ironhide's voice, and Sunstreaker was sure he knew what the mech was implying. A little bit of that parental love that he had for the twins had carried over to Ratchet somewhere along the line.

"That is why I think he's not thinking this through like a doctor." Finally the Prime spoke, his tone still calm.

"I can do this, Optimus." There was a deep plea in that voice that made Sunny's spark twist. Why? Shouldn't this be his decision? His and Sideswipe's?

"I think… that maybe we should all stop for now. Why not let the Sun bot make the decision for 'imself? I mean, it is his life and his twin, ya know." The lyrical sound of Jazz's voice soothed the mood in the room. "All the while, why don'tcha go see if you can figure out a way to improve th'odds, Ratch? If anyone can, it'd be you."

There was a shuffle of feet, and a murmur of agreement. "I think that should settle things for now. It's sound advice. All of you go back to your posts and we'll wait till Sunstreaker makes his decision." That benediction seemed to make him uncoil on the inside. Where he'd never wanted to see Optimus as anything to him, he was starting to appreciate him more each day. It seemed the debt to the Autobot leader was building.

Sliding out of view as the mechs filtered from the room, he was about to leave when he heard Optimus speak again. "Prowl… stay for a moment?"

"Yes sir?" Prowl had been there? Why hadn't he said anything then? He knew that Prowl didn't like to interject except when necessary, but he felt oddly betrayed in a way. It had been Jazz to defend him and not the Datsun.

"I didn't expect you to be so silent on the matter…" Sliding back toward the door, he managed to get at an angle where he could see inside. Prowl stood rigidly before Optimus, his hands firmly clasped behind his back. "I know you want to say something."

The seconds seemed to audibly tick by as they stood there waiting for the tactician to speak. Several times Prowl's lips parted then closed until finally his hands unclasped and he held them out in a desperate gesture to Optimus.

"I don't want it to happen, Optimus."

The clear words rang through the silence hanging like a neon light between all three mechs. Sunny stared in disbelief and confusion. He just didn't understand. "That seems… rather odd for you to say something like that, Prowl." The voice was full of gentle concern as Optimus stepped closer to his second in command. "Do you want to clarify for me?"

"The odds… fifty percent isn't good enough. It's unacceptable. I don't like it. I refuse to let Sunstreaker die." Prowl's doorwings stood at a stern ninety degree angle as he spoke but slowly they began to droop further.

"Have you voiced this to him?" It sounded like a tone a father would use on his upset child. One hand rose to rest on Prowl's shoulder and it caused the other to almost slump from exhaustion.

"No."

"Maybe you should tell him."

"I could say it. I could tell him all the facts as to why it's dangerous."

"But?"

"Then I wouldn't let him be who he wants to be."

Optimus gave a soft chuckle. "You really do put his thoughts first. There is nothing wrong with being a little selfish, Prowl. But I don't think the facts will help him right now."

"No…" One hand rose to clasp about Optimus' forearm that was still gripping his shoulder. "I'm… certain the only thing holding him back right now is that he doesn't want to risk the life of his twin."

"You mean he doesn't care about his own life?" It wasn't so much a question as much as a clarification. Optimus seemed to know just what and how to say something to keep Prowl from grasping too hard at a way to explain.

"He doesn't know how valuable he is." As the silence fell, Sunny offlined his optics. There was no telling what he would have thought if Prowl had said that directly to him, but hearing it this way made him both happy and sad.

"Maybe you should tell him that."

"My opinion doesn't matter." Something about his tone, made Sunny bring his optics back online to look at the Datsun. Somewhere in the silence, his head had drooped as well nearly resting on Optimus' arm but not quite. There was still propriety there in the exchange, but it was as close to a hug as the two officers could get. Watching the black and white mech like that made him realize that Prowl was wrong. His opinion did matter to the Lamborghini.

Smiling softly, he felt relieved for the first time. Even if his brother came back only to go to Bluestreak, at least someone did give a damn about him. More than anything right now, he wanted that light at the end of the tunnel. He wasn't sorry for what he said to Bluestreak. That had been needed if only to get the pain and anger out of his system. The more he brooded over it, the worse it got. Now that he'd let go, he didn't feel as hostile toward the other. Maybe someday he'd make peace… but for now he just wanted to believe in this little ray of hope.

"I think you don't really know that for sure." Optimus gave Prowl's shoulder a light squeeze. "Go talk to him. Being alone at a moment like this…"

"I have work…"

"I'll cover it for you."

"That's…"

"You do it for me. Let me return the favor." The leader chuckled and gave the slightest indication to the door with his head. "Besides… I think someone is looking for you."

Both Prowl and Sunstreaker jumped. The Datsun pulled far from Optimus and stared at the yellow and black mech hiding just outside. For a brief moment, he saw panic on that face then fear and worry. He wanted to save the other the worry and the embarrassment. So perhaps… he'd just be himself.

"What?" Giving both of them an incredulous look, he lifted an optic ridge. "You left the door open; it's your own fault."

Optimus laughed heartily and moved to pat Prowl on the shoulder. "This is true. It was our fault. Sunstreaker… I order you to make him not work for the rest of the day. Do you think you can handle the assignment?"

Prowl sent his leader a stunned and aggravated look that he quickly trained to be impassive. "I don't think that's necessary."

"Like the pit! You don't know the meaning of not working." Smirking at the SIC, Sunstreaker stood full in the doorway and placed his fists on his hips. "I think I can handle it, Optimus. I may have to strong arm him into submission, but it is perfectly possible."

"Good. See that you carry your task out well." Even though he couldn't see the leader's face through the mask, he could see the smile in his optics. "I'll leave you to it then." Moving past Prowl, Sunstreaker stood aside to let him leave. Optimus gave them both a nod before walking off down the hall.

Silence settled between them as the Autobot leader vanished from their sight. Sunny felt oddly warm and he realized that where Sides wasn't talking to him, he was at least not shutting him out any longer. It helped though, that he could simply feel Prowl's presence behind him.

"How long were…."

"Thank you."

"I…"

Sunstreaker turned to give his commanding officer a half smile. "It's good enough, copper." Prowl seemed to relax and soon he allowed a smile.

"I suppose so."

"If you behave, I'll let you kick my aft at chess."

Prowl laughed at this. "I may take you up on that."

"I think I can handle the humiliation today." Primus knew he needed it. Maybe a good taste of humbleness would help him clear his head. And even if he was only relatively decent at chess, the company would be more than welcome.

Moving with silent steps, Sunny watched Prowl's feet and suddenly moved to stand in his way. Lifting his head to look him in the face, he could see the silent curiosity there in the elder's gaze. "Do… do you believe that saying… that if you really love something you should let it go?"

"I'm not…" Frowning, Prowl stopped himself and seemed to think about it. "Love is about sacrifice. It is happiness and sadness. That's all I can really say…"

Yellow fingers curled and twitched as he felt the urge to reach out and just hug the other. It was so hard. There was too much to decide. "If I promised you I wouldn't die easily… would you be there to… support me?"

There was no answer, for a moment he believed there wouldn't be. Prowl had been so adamant about his being against the procedure that he was sure he wouldn't back down with such a flimsy promise. But instead of words, he felt a tender hand curl about the back of his neck and slowly allowed himself to be pulled close to rest his forehead on a shoulder. "Even if I don't like it, I'd still support you."

"That's good enough." And it would have to be for now.

_I don't want to leave you,  
Even though I have to.  
I don't want to love you.  
Oh, I still do._

-Finé-


	10. Letting Go to Move On

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG for now.

**Notes: **I really put those last three things out fast. This one will be a little bit longer in coming out. I'm at a precarious point and I don't want to stumble too far out of character. That and with the new job I'm mentally exhausted. But I'm still going strong! I'm eager to see it done as much as you guys. Sunny/Prowl, implied Sunny/Sides, Hide/Ratch, and Sides/Blue. Also! I linked a little sketch on my profile for a scene for the last chapter. Tell me what you think if you get a chance. (There's also a poll there for those that are a fan of this fic. Give me your feedback and help me decide!)

**Warnings: **Tons of angst and indecision.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Talk" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Coldplay and Hasbro respectively.

_Oh brother I can't, I can't get through  
I've been trying hard to reach you 'cause I don't know what to do  
Oh brother I can't believe it's true  
I'm so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you  
Oh I wanna talk to you_

-Talk by Coldplay-

Five chess games into the night later, he'd felt like he could function again with a level head. It had been so easy while trying so hard to keep up with the SIC to forget that Sideswipe was ignoring him. It was equally easy for him to pretend that he hadn't practically ripped Bluestreak's spark out and handed it to him just for the sake of doing so. The company of the Datsun had kept him calm even though he had lost so miserably each time. What should have been humiliating were actually the most peaceful hours he'd had in a long time. Even though he knew Prowl was holding back and making mistakes for his benefit, he didn't feel the slightest bit offended.

It hadn't been till Prowl said he should go recharge, that he realized there was a world outside of the strategist's office. Funny, for years he'd been sure that there was nothing that could make him want to stay in that office longer than necessary. Now he wished he was back there in the quiet company of the black and white Datsun.

By now, he was sure the sun had already risen, but he'd not managed to grab even a minute of recharge. Instead he rolled about from side to side feeling the empty place in his spark that once held his brother's vibrant company. No, it wasn't empty. It was just shut off from him hiding away all feeling and sound. This was what Sideswipe had even done in life. When he was angry at the yellow Lamborghini he shut him down and ignored him. But this time, the silence was cold.

Sideswipe was angry at him like he'd never been angry before. Before he'd felt completely justified, even indignant about how he was right and his brother was wrong. Yet after a charge less night with that constant reminder of his twin's anger, he suddenly began to rethink it.

The first few hours had been more a fight with himself. More than anything he wanted to believe that he was the one that had been wronged. It was his right and his duty to state how they had wronged him. But after a while, that argument grew thin and empty. The more he wanted to say Bluestreak was a sneaky little glitch, the more he saw those tears and the way the mech trembled. Primus… he was the cold spark, not Prowl.

That was the moment he'd changed the direction of his thoughts. For vorns he'd heard about how everyone thought Prowl was sparkless and unfeeling. Now he wondered if maybe he deserved the whispers more so than his commanding officer. After all, Prowl didn't make it a habit of tearing down his comrades with physical and verbal abuse. In fact, he couldn't remember a single time the SIC had yelled at anyone or lowered himself to call another names. And it really didn't count when he said something to Jazz that might have classified as 'mean'.

Now he wished that he'd actually talked about the tiff to Prowl over the chessboard. At least maybe he would have helped make this conclusion easier to see. Staring blankly at the ceiling, he felt his face plates shift into a long frown. There was an ache in his lazer core and chassis that made him want to gasp. More than anything… he needed his brother to talk to him.

"Sides…?"

Silence was his answer and he knew he'd have to say so much more than that to make this better. A long breath entered his intakes as he forced himself to choose his words carefully.

"I'm sorry for what I did." Only because it was said slowly, did he get that one word out. Apologies to his twin were generally easier than most, but even at those times it was hard. "I shouldn't have said things like that to Bluestreak."

The gust of warm air that left his exhaust was the only sign of the tension that left him. Had he really been waiting that long to let it out? "I've been a cold sparked glitch. Selfish and ignorant…" Biting into his lower lip, he felt the dental structure scrape into the lower faceplate. "Please Siders… I need you right now. I need you to tell me what to do cause I don't know. Please… talk to me…"

A long silence followed and he barely felt the shift in his spark that told him that his brother was at least listening to him. "This isn't something I can do on my own. This is also your life… I can't, Sides… I just can't…"

_Sunny…_

Quivering from the fear, he suddenly hugged himself about his midsection and rolled onto his side. The sudden sound of his brother's voice caused him to let out a dry sob of tension he'd been holding in since his brother had shut him out. Offlining his optics, he curled his knees into his chest. "Primus, Sides! I can't do this!"

_Calm down, Sunny…_

"I'm so sorry! Please… just don't stop talking to me."

_Silly Daffodil… I'll forgive you if you promise to apologize to Bluestreak._

Clamming up a bit, he bit back his pride and selfishness. He needed his brother and he knew he was right. "Ok…"

He hated being compared to flowers… Flowers were happy and brought joy to humans, even some Autobots… but that wasn't Sunstreaker. He was more closely akin to a rain cloud than sunshine or flowers. But he'd let the nicknames go this time. Sideswipe used them to lighten the mood. It was almost as effective as poking him when he was in a 'touch-me-not' mood… but it was easier to take because he knew it was out of love. Sadly, it wasn't the sort of love he had always wanted from his twin.

_Good. Now… lets sort this all out once and for all. All right? You can't do that if you keep sulking like a kicked puppy._

"I'm not a puppy…"

Heh… more like a cat. Grumpy and finicky…

"Very funny." Replying humorlessly, he knew what else he needed to say. Prowl's words echoed in his head as he thought it over quietly. It was time to let go. "You really love him… I can tell."

_I… can't be sorry for that._

"You shouldn't be…"

_I won't let go of him, Sunny._

"I won't make you."

But I want you to—You what?

The surprise in his brother's voice caused him to smile wryly. It was probably the last thing he expected to hear from the possessive twin. "We've been to the pit and back, Sides… you've always put me first. I suppose… it's my turn to do that for you." It hurt, oh Primus it hurt. But Prowl had been right when he said that he should be happy for the one he loved, not hold him back. So, this was him letting go.

S-Sunny…?

"I can't promise I'll be amiable and dandy with it… but if he makes you happy, then I won't make you stay apart." For a long moment there was silence, then he felt his spark wrench as though he were crying. It wasn't a sad cry though; it was one of relief and happiness to an extreme that he felt like truly crying with his twin. How could he have been hurting his twin so much?

Clutching his form into a tighter ball, he waited for Sideswipe to calm down while trying to bite down his own melancholy and tears. All this time he'd held on to his brother like a delicate thread to life. He'd clung to him for everything shunning the world that tried so hard to shun him. How much had Sideswipe sacrificed for him? He would do his best to do what Prowl said. He would learn to be happy for his brother for finding the love that made him happy.

_Slag it, Sunny... How'd you manage to make me to come unscrewed at the seams?_ There was a weak chuckle in his processors and he couldn't help the painful smile. _Thank you…_

"Yeah…" Sighing lightly, he quickly changed the subject. "Say the word, Sides… and I'll go through the operation."

_Hold it there, brother mine. You were right… I should have been thinking about the positive along with the negative… _His voice was thoughtful as it played over his systems like a pensive sound. _I think… for both our sakes, we need to sit down with Wheeljack and figure out the odds and whether they can be improved._

"I think that would be the best. He's the only unbiased one familiar with the procedure." Why did he feel relieved? Now he wouldn't have to break that promise to Prowl because they could make an equal decision. Both of them would live through this…

_Then it's decided. We'll go talk to him!_

"Right." Before he could move to get up, his brother stopped him with a thoughtful question.

_You know, Sunny… Prowler's good for you. And I never thought I'd say that…_

"Good for me?"

_I don't know how to put it… you're changing a bit more each time you spend time with him… but it's for the better… ya know?_

Thinking about this, he felt a warmth flutter in his spark as he ever so quietly gave his brother a simple one word reply before heading out of the room. "Yeah…"

--+--

With a sigh of relief that sounded like a wheeze from his engines, Sunstreaker stumbled into Wheeljack's lab. It had been hard to creep through med bay without getting caught by the watchful optics of Ratchet. Who thought up putting the door to the scientist's lab in the med bay? Honestly, whoever designed the Ark had a few screws loose and a fractured motherboard.

"What on earth happened to you, youngling?" The somewhat chipper voice caused him to yank to attention and straightened against the door he'd just slammed. He was sure the look on his face was awkward as he searched for an answer. "You look like you just did a mad dash from the pit. Was Ratchet chasing ya?"

Even though the scientist's voice was playful, he could tell he was a bit nervous about the yellow warrior. Wheeljack never really paid much attention to his reputation, and he knew that wasn't the case this time either. The only time the old scientist got disgruntled with him was when he and his twin tried to take things from his lab to 'play' with. But this time, the discomfort had everything to do with what Ratchet wanted to do.

"Ah, I needed to talk to you, Wheeljack…"

This had the elder on the defensive as he spoke carefully. "What about?"

"Well…. The… You see, Sides and I were discussing it… and we want to talk to you about the procedure and not Ratchet." Stating it resolutely, he straightened to his full height and lifted away from the door to point out how sure he was of himself. "We have a lot of faith in Ratch… but he's… he's too biased in this. We want, well, a voice of reason."

"A voice of reason, huh?" Looking a bit more relaxed, the scientist went back to tinkering with things on his workbench as though he needed to keep his hands occupied.

"Yes… So… I'm asking you to give me straight answers… please."

"I'll do my best, youngling."

Taking in a long inhale, he queried quietly. "Is it truly possible to bring him back?"

"Well…" The elder hesitated both in his words and in his motions as his hands stilled. "Yes. It is possible… but…" Sunstreaker cut him off.

"Is it also possible… that if you work with Ratchet, you could increase the odds of success? I believe in Ratchet… but… I'd feel better if you were there to help him…"

"Yes, this is true. If we worked together, the odds would most likely be improved…" The scientist seemed hesitant; therefore, he didn't stop the younger from going on.

"Would you agree to help him if we promised that we'll only go through with it when you are satisfied with the odds?" This caused the scientist to drop the tool in his hand and look up at the surviving twin with wide optics. For a long moment, neither spoke. Both Sideswipe and Sunstreaker silently prayed for a positive answer as they waited for the verdict.

"Well now… I suppose that is a mighty hefty responsibility to undertake…"

"But you are the one that is realistic about it. We need that to be sure that we're doing the right thing. If something does go wrong it will be our fault, not yours. Sides and I… want this to be done rationally…"

"Rationally, eh?" Audio fins flashed a bright shade of blue with his words as he saw the humor in that. Chuckling, his optics grinned for him. "Never thought that word could be applied to the two of ya. Fine fine…" Setting things into their place on his desk he walked over to Sunstreaker and patted him on the shoulder. "I'll do it."

Relief washed through him as he let out the air he'd been holding in. Placing his palm to his head, he tipped his head back to the ceiling in an over dramatization. "Wow… that's a relief."

Laughing heartily, the scientist patted him again and gently moved him out of the doorway. "Now, I'd better go tell the cranky doctor the good news. He'll be elated." Was it just him, or did Wheeljack suddenly seem excited about the prospect of settling the argument once and for all? "Run along now, Sunstreaker. I'll let you know as soon as I make my decision."

Giving a light nod, he watched the elder walk out with a spring in his step. Well now, it felt like he'd finally done something right. Mentally he thanked his brother and moved to leave the lab and once more sneak through the med bay while Wheeljack had Ratchet occupied in his office.

It felt good to finally set things in motion. He'd been stagnant for far too long.

--+--

Things seemed to settle down in the next couple of days. Optimus kept him off duty still if only to give him time to think. He had to admit that he'd never really noticed how kind the Leader was. Where he generally saw kindness as a weakness that changed for anyone that suddenly really needed that kindness. Now he seemed to be drifting like a butterfly with tentative movements. He waited for Wheeljack to answer as though he were on pins and needles.

The mech hadn't told anyone about the decision; it had remained between the twins and the Science officer until the verdict could be reached. In the mean time, he had been carefully staying out of the path of Bluestreak. It wasn't that he didn't want to follow through with his promise; he just needed time to be ready for it. Surprisingly, Sideswipe hadn't pushed him to get his act together. For that, he was very thankful.

About the only thing he left his quarters for was the nightly visit to Prowl's office. Where he looked forward to them, he also dreaded that feeling of betraying the elder. After all they had been through, he hadn't told the tactician that he'd made a tentative decision. It just wasn't an easy subject to breach with the Datsun. And the reason for this made him both sad and happy all at once.

Now he finally decided to go to the rec room and maybe face Bluestreak. Only, as he walked into the room, he froze when he saw the younger mech spot him. In an instant the Gunner was tripping his way over to him quickly. There was hope in his optics and fear ran straight down his cerebral cortex. As the humans say, fight or flight. He chose flight. Quickly turning on his heel, he was ready to make a run for it until he felt the softest touch to his chassis making him freeze in place.

Catching sight of the white hand, he let his gaze travel up the arm to the form of the black and white Datsun. Dermal plating tingled from the touch and he suddenly forgot that he'd been in the process of running away. All focus was oddly captured by the mech that wasn't even looking at him at the moment.

"Careful." The serene voice was stern in its gentleness as he gave the smallest of smiles to Bluestreak. "Hello, Bluestreak."

"Ah! Hi Prowl! I was um…"

"Trying to catch, Sunny?" The gunner seemed to hesitate and Sunny had a feeling he knew why. The younger Datsun hadn't ever heard the strategist call anyone but maybe Bumblebee by a nickname. But most mechs seemed to adore and take care of the little yellow minibot.

"Y-yes, sir!"

Sunny suddenly remembered he was supposed to be running away. Mentally he groaned at his mental slip and looked off to the side like a child being scolded. Funny, no one was even doing this. "I heard from Jazz that the two of you had a fight."

"A-ah… I… um…"

"Yeah." His spark was sinking in his chassis again, and this time it was because he could tell that Prowl seemed a bit disappointed in him. That was another thing he'd continued not to mention to the strategist in their sessions together in the last few days.

"Then I'll leave you two to talk it over." Turning his head to Sunstreaker, something in his gaze caused the yellow twin to be locked in place unable to look away. "I wanted to tell you that I won't be able to meet with you tonight." He went from entranced to feeling like the ground had fallen out from under him. "I have a meeting with Optimus, Jazz, and Ironhide to talk about necessary plans for a mission. If we finish early I'll let you know, but it isn't likely."

Well, the day had just gone from bad to worse. Nodding slowly, he suddenly jumped when the fingers on his chassis did a soft sweep over the sensitive dermal plating before pulling away. "Okay…"

The tactician smiled at him vaguely, before giving a nod to Bluestreak. "Work it out you two. I don't want internal conflict if it can be helped."

One last look from Prowl made Sunstreaker shiver. There was a bit of concern in that gaze. He'd told the Datsun about Sides and Blue, but even still he couldn't let personal feelings get in the way of duty. It was an admirable quality in the strategist, but also lamentable at the moment. Now he just didn't want to look at the Gunner that was now looking at him. He didn't want to imagine the expression. The younger had every right to be angry or even upset out of his processor. What he hadn't expected was what he did finally get in that pleading voice.

"Sunny! Can we talk, please? I… I really need to… talk to you."

Shrugging his shoulders, he couldn't say no and pride wouldn't let him say yes. Without looking back, he sort of waved for the other to follow him. Walking in awkward silence with the younger close at his heels, they emerged from the Ark and into the late day sunlight. Stretching, he offlined his optics and let the heat warm cooled metal. When he finally moved again, he glanced at the other to see him moving timidly at a safe distance from him. For some reason, it made him smile internally though his face remained in his normal scowl. "I'm not going to eat you or take you off into the woods and dismember you."

There was a soft nervous laugh and the gunner shook his head quickly. "I! I didn't… didn't think you'd do any of that! Honest!"

"Right." The tone was sarcastic, but it was obvious that he found the other's discomfort oddly amusing. "I just didn't want to be inside today."

"Oh…" Finally stopping a good distance from their base, he looked at the other with a hard stare. The words just weren't there. Both of them looked like fish out of water not knowing what to do. Leave it to Blue to break the silence. "I'm sorry, Sunny. I shouldn't have been so selfish!"

All he could do was stare. "What?" How on this backdated planet did the idiot really think he was being selfish? Dear Primus… how had Sides fallen for such an airhead?

"I didn't even think to ask if there would be bad repercussions about that procedure! I got excited and forgot to think… And… and… I know I was wrong for asking Sideswipe not to tell you about he and I…"

"Slow down." Frowning hard, he pressed his palm to his head in irritation as he tried to process all of this. What was Bluestreak's primary malfunction? Not for the first time, he realized how utterly selfless the mech was. In a way… Blue was his complete opposite. But there was something in those words that made him stop. "What do you mean you told him not to tell?"

"I…" Looking down, the gunner seemed to unconsciously back up. "I knew… I knew how much you loved him… but… but I loved him so much I didn't want to give up the chance… Sides… he didn't want to not tell you…"

Oh. So… it wasn't Sideswipe's idea. Why hadn't he said that? A wave of guilt hit him for all the sharp accusations he'd thrown at his brother all those times in the past week or so. He'd been… rather unfair. The first impulse was to throw his anger at Bluestreak for hiding it, but in the end, he just felt tired. His anger only seemed to dig his grave deeper. Maybe it was time to just let it all go. He'd promised Sideswipe he'd make up with the Gunner… and after finding out how wrong he'd been, there was no going back on his word.

"Sunny?" Worry colored that voice as he hesitantly reached out to the yellow mech. Sunstreaker didn't move, only stared at the ground. "I… I'm…"

"Don't apologize."

"Wh-what?"

"Just stop apologizing. You're an idiot sometimes." Sighing, he waved the other off lightly and shook his head. "You don't have anything to apologize for." Even though he wasn't happy for the other hiding such a vital fact from him, he couldn't blame him. Were he in the place of the young Datsun, he probably would have done the same. All of the bots on the Ark knew how frightening Sunny could be.

"I… I don't?"

"No. You don't." Saying the words slowly in a dry but teasing tone, he looked away. "I'm not happy. But that's my own fault. And if I really love him… I'll be happy that he's happy with someone else." Right Prowl?

"I… I don't… get… it." Bluestreak stumbled over his words and seemed so very lost. But Sunny couldn't seem to find the words to say he was sorry. It was one thing to say it to Sideswipe; it was entirely different with other mechs.

"You don't have to. It's my fault, not yours."

"Oh… I…"

"Cheer up… Sides gets all… weird when you look upset."

The younger suddenly looked up at him, his optics bright. "He does?"

"Yeah…"

"I miss him…"

Shutting down his optics, he roughly vocalized the next words. "He misses you too."

Ignoring the sound of Blue moving closer, he felt Sideswipe stir hopefully. Not once had his brother asked him to talk to Blue for him. He was probably afraid to. But now it was his own doing that was giving him the opportunity. So… he continued to just let go.

_Sunny?_ Giving the mental go ahead, he felt the rush of happiness from his twin and allowed the smallest hint of a smile. _Tell him… tell him about the decision! Tell him that… that…_

"He loves you." He finished what his brother was afraid to say. There was a sense of awe in his spark and he could see the match to it on Bluestreak's face.

"I love him as well…" There was a bit of sadness in that tone, and he didn't seem to understand it. But as he stood there, he heard the thoughts so clearly in his head.

_He's never said those words to me… He… I knew he…_

Growling lightly, he reached out and whapped the Datsun upside the head with a controlled lightness. "Again, and say it like he's here, cause he can hear you, you dolt." The other yelped and he felt Sideswipe jump internally surprised by his brother. But Sunny was irritated. If he'd never vocalized that phrase to Sides, then the Datsun was more than just an airhead.

"I… Sunny?"

"Do it."

"I… I love you, Siders…"

Inside, he could feel Sideswipe practically glow with happiness. And though it ached like the pit, he was happy that his brother was that happy. For the first time he understood the meaning of bittersweet. So, after letting them bask in that moment, he pushed the topic aside and carefully explained their decision to Bluestreak. After all… he was now just as much a part of this as the twins were.

"Now… I talked to Sides… and we decided…"

--+--

All the waiting, all the contemplation finally came to an end. Pacing like a cat at the door of Prowl's office that night, he nearly jittered. He wanted the SIC to be the first to know. More than anything, he wanted the other to reassure him and make a single promise before he moved forward. Hours had passed, but he stayed in that hall resolutely into the wee hours of the night. He'd finally stopped keeping time when he felt the presence of another standing behind him.

Whirling about, he jumped at the proximity of the tactician. There, just feet from him, was the strategist looking extremely tired with datapads under one arm. "Sunny… I told you I wouldn't…"

"I know." Quickly moving, he did something he never would have thought himself capable of. Without hesitation he took the datapads from Prowl and stood to the side waiting for the older to enter the office first. "I just… needed to talk to you."

Frowning deeply, the elder seemed to contemplate it, but then tiredly gave in. Moving silently past the warrior, he entered his code and the door opened. Stepping in, he flicked the lights on and indicated his desk. "All right. Put the pads there. What did you want to talk to me about?"

Depositing the datapads on the desk, he bounced on his feet as Prowl settled into his desk chair. Where he was eager to talk, he suddenly felt on edge by the older mech's posture. There was even less emotion on his face than normal, and he knew deep inside, that wasn't a good sign. "Is… everything all right?"

Looking up, the strategist stared a moment before smiling just barely. "Fine. Just couldn't come to a resolution tonight on how to improve the statistical odds of a successful journey for Jazz's mission. But time was of the essence… so he had to leave before I could work out the problems."

Sunstreaker sank into the other chair feeling both worried for the Datsun and something else toward the Special Ops. _Whoa… Sunny… are you… jealous?_

Shoving the idea aside and ignoring his twin, he attempted a reassurance. "Jazz'll be fine."

"That's what we're counting on."

"Yeah…"

"So, what was it you wished to talk to me about?"

There was a little less enthusiasm, but he perked up when the officer returned his full attention to him. Well, at least it appeared to be his full attention. "A few days ago… Sides and I made a decision to talk to Wheeljack. We told him if he could improve the odds and gave the go ahead, we would go through with the procedure."

Prowl straightened impossibly as he met that look on Sunstreaker's face. There was a mix of emotions that quickly had a blank mask thrown over them. "Oh?"

"Yeah… we wanted someone that would be unbiased and truthful to make the observation… well… he came to me with the answer tonight."

"And?"

"He says the odds are now eighty-five percent positive."

Prowl seemed to be considering this and he spoke quietly. "With a fifteen percent chance of fatality."

"That's not that big of a number, Prowl…"

Silence followed, and by the slight twitches of the doorwings, Sunny knew that the other wasn't happy even still. So, instead of waiting for him to talk, he went on. "I need to do this, Prowl… but I don't…" Stopping, he felt himself struggle with the words. He hated sounding vulnerable, but it was something he couldn't let go. It was all he could think of the moment Wheeljack told him that he approved. "I don't want to do this without you there."

The tactician looked slightly surprised then he slowly seemed to relax. There was a defeated quality in his voice mixed with reassurance. "I told you I would support you regardless of whether I liked it or not."

"…Promise?"

"I promise…"

"Thank you…"

_Sunny… you're…_

_Are you lost or incomplete?  
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?  
Tell me how do you feel?  
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak  
And they're talking it to me_

_So you take a picture of something you see  
In the future where will I be?  
You can climb a ladder up to the sun  
Or a write a song nobody has sung  
Or do something that's never been done…_

-Finé-


	11. Stumbling into Darkness

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG

**Notes: **Here we go again! I hope you are all still dragging along with me. This chapter should be just as heart wrenching or fluffy or well… I like to be as sporadic as people generally really are in life. Please let me know how I'm doing! Implied Sunny/Sides, Sides/Blue, Hide/Ratch, Sunny/Prowl

Oh! And I'm closing the poll. Sideswipe is the winner! But no worries, I'll write one for Ratchet as well, Sides will just come first. Thanks to those of you that voted!

**Warnings: **Only that I may or may not play with your feelings. I've been told I rip out heartstrings and juggle them for fun. –Winks at Okami-

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Savin' Me" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Nickelback and HasTak respectively.

_Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
With these broken wings I'm fallin'  
And all I see is you  
These city walls ain't got no love for me  
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
And oh I scream for you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And all I need from you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

-Savin' Me by Nickelback-

Anticipation was nothing new. Many a mech, femme, and even human had dealt with the feeling. It happened the night before something important was to occur. He remembered feeling this way before his first field examination when being fully inducted into the Autobot ranks. There was even that night before his first art show that he'd lost hours of recharge thinking only on how it would go. If such things could keep him up a few hours and make him restless, the operation had him agonizing as he stared at the ceiling.

He really had tried to rest. Ratchet said it would be good for him and it would keep him out of his med bay before he absolutely had to see him the next day. It didn't help matters that Sideswipe had gone painstakingly quiet. Sunstreaker knew he was just as nervous, but there was something else that he was keeping to himself. If he placed when it started… it had been while he was standing in the presence of the SIC in his office. The Lamborghini found it odd… Sides had never finished what he was going to say. Whatever it had been, he'd not paid much attention at the time anyway. At the time, Sunny had been giving the tired strategist his full attention.

When had that started? Thinking back on it, he couldn't recall how or when he'd gotten so easily interested in everything Prowl had to say. Wasn't there a time he'd pretty much scorned anything the other had said for the general principle of the matter? Now he felt like everything would freeze up and stand on edge waiting for the tactician to speak or move. It was slightly disturbing, but not necessarily bad. But when? When had it started being like that? He just couldn't put his finger on it.

Groaning slightly, he checked the clock and realized it was a little before sunrise. He'd not even gotten a second of recharge. Why bother trying any longer? Pushing off the berth, he headed out of his quarters to take a walk. More than anything he wanted to clear his head. That was why he wandered aimlessly giving halfhearted acknowledgments to the night shifters whenever they passed him. It wasn't until he came to a lighted doorway that he stopped and glanced inside.

There was only one mech in the Autobot ranks that always kept his door open as long as he wasn't recharging or in a meeting. That was Optimus Prime. In the nicely sized office, the large mech sat with datapads in hand carefully looking over the information with a tight look of concentration. When he thought about it… it wasn't too different form what Prowl looked like when he worked. Only, the tactician looked serene or stoic while Optimus looked rather engaged in his reading.

For a moment he wanted to say something… but then thoughts of how often they didn't get along popped into his head. Finally sinking a bit, he turned to move on. He shouldn't bother the leader anyway with his pointlessness.

"Sunstreaker. Why don't you come in?"

Jumping a bit at the gentle voice, he felt the fatherly baritone go straight to his lazer core. Like a child he turned and headed into the room, optics locked on the countenance of the one mech he never thought he'd respect. That is… until recently. "Sir?"

"Sir? Well, you must be preoccupied." Chuckling softly, he set the datapad aside. "You were lingering in my door, so I figured I'd enquire as to what is on your processor."

"There's a lot on my processor."

"I would think so. Wheeljack came to me today and informed me of the events tomorrow to get my clearance. It's a big decision, are you sure in it?"

"Yes…"

"Then I have to give the go ahead." Nodding sagely, Sunstreaker was somewhat amazed by the value of his own decision on the Autobot leader.

"Why?"

"I will never stand in the way of my Autobots in their decisions in times like these. I can only give my support and hope for the best outcome."

"I mean why do you always seem to care so much?"

There was a fatherly look in those blue optics as he shook his head. "I don't think that is something that can be explained, Sunstreaker. As a leader you must know and protect your followers with all that you are."

"Know your soldiers… Prowl said that…"

"Yes… he's very good about paying attention to the strengths, weaknesses, and needs of those under him in rank. That is one reason why he is my second in command." There was a hint of pride in that tone that drew his curiosity.

"Did you hope he would turn out that way?" There was no accusation, just curiosity. The idea that he'd saved Prowl from his previous lifestyle was never far from his CPU. Now he wondered if maybe it had always been Optimus' intent to have the Datsun as his SIC.

"What do you mean, Sunstreaker?"

"When he… ya know… was re-designated."

There was a pause and the leader looked at him carefully. "So he told you?"

"Yeah…"

"I see. No… not exactly. My only hope for him was to learn what life was and have a chance to live it. I never hoped that the war would come to fruition so that he would have to return to such a lifestyle of fighting and killing." The baritone voice was soft and low, seeming almost sad. "I had hoped that I could take him in and help him, not utilize him…"

"Slag happens." Shrugging his shoulders, he looked off to the side to avoid that sharp gaze. He didn't see the point in Optimus sulking like that. Prowl seemed more than willing, even happy, to do as the Prime told him and serve him. There just wasn't a point in regretting it like that. "I think he's happy as is…"

"Hm…" Thoughtful this time, the leader leaned back in his chair and rubbed at his chin. "I suppose this is true. But it can't be helped…"

"You sound like a protective father." The tone was flat, but there was no true feeling about it one way or the other. He'd never had a 'protective father', only a brother for the most part.

"Protective…" Cutting off in his musing, he shook his head with amusement. "I do often feel as though he is my progeny at times. He's tried for vorns to emulate me…"

Something about the thought of a young Prowl emulating Optimus Prime made him smirk. It wasn't that hard to imagine. "I guess… I should thank you for what you did for Sideswipe and I…"

"It was the right thing to do." Right and wrong… Prowl had called the judgment of Optimus fair. "Everyone one has the right to live their life and they have a right to be happy."

Canting his head to the larger mech, he shifted as he felt a bit odd hearing that sentiment. It was so oddly close to Prowl's from even before meeting Optimus. "Yeah… I guess. Just don't say I never said thank you." It was a huff of indignation that caused his leader to laugh again lightly.

"Duly noted."

"Whatever…"

"So… how are your sessions with Prowl going, by the way? They must be going well if you managed to win him over enough to confide in you. Prowl doesn't even like opening up to me if he can help it."

Sunny felt like his internals were heating up on the inside and didn't know why. Shifting again in discomfort, he dropped his optics to the floor. "Yeah."

"Sunstreaker…" Lifting his head quickly at the address, he met the serious and steady gaze of the Autobot leader. "Be careful with what is given to you. I know that in the past you've never been on fond terms with Prowl, but I request now that you respect what has been given to you."

It was like being threatened, and yet not threatened. That protective father was back in that tone and it caused his spark to jump in its chamber. "Why would I purposely hurt, Prowl?"

"Sunstreaker…" The tone was warning once again.

"Listen up, Prime, and listen well. I like the fragger more than I even want to. So I won't slagging screw up like you're implying. Lay off." Sharp in tone, he frowned hard at his superior. He knew why he said all that, but he didn't know why his entire demeanor screamed protective in return. It was like a sudden battle of wills between the two of them as they glared.

"Very well." Sitting up straight again, Optimus took in a long gust of air through his intakes. "I'll hold you to that. And I'll remember that claim in exact verbatim…"

"You do that."

"Don't forget he exists when this is all over with."

"Excuse me?" He was feeling suddenly impatient with this entire conversation. If nothing else, at least he wasn't thinking about the procedure anymore. Instead he was wondering what had possibly possessed him to talk to the Autobot commander.

"Just think it over, Sunstreaker."

"Yeah, sure…"

"Go rest. Ratchet will pull you apart bolt by bolt with a rusty screwdriver if you go to him exhausted." The look in those optics was entirely too amused for his liking. Shrugging his shoulders, he didn't dignify Optimus with a parting. Turning on his heel, he left the office and walked out completely missing the pensive look that followed after him.

--+--

After that disgruntling run in with Optimus, he wanted nothing more than to purge his systems of the experience. Why was it, no matter how much his thoughts warmed up to the mech, he couldn't really stand to talk to him for very long. Maybe it was because Optimus was a synonym for optimist. That was another thing he really didn't care for. It worked out in theory, but never in reality.

That was why he was sitting on the couch in the rec room aimlessly flicking through stations for something, anything to focus on. He should have been trying to recharge, but truthfully, he knew it would be pointless. Rubbing at one of his audio receptors, he finally flicked the TV off sending the room into silence. It was dimly lit at this time in the morning, but in a few hours that would change. Sitting back in the sofa, he stared at the blank screen and let his mind wander back to the operation.

What if something went wrong? What if one of them did completely fade into the matrix? Wouldn't it be better if it were him and not Sideswipe? But then, why did he keep hearing that protective tone in his head telling him not to forget Prowl? Leaning forward, elbows rested upon knees and hands covered his face as he groaned lowly. This was all too complicated and Sideswipe choosing that time to be introverted was just a pain in the aft.

That was when all of his dermal plating felt like it had been hit by static electricity as a hand slid slender digits softly over his neck. Jerking his head up, he turned to see the solemn figure of Prowl bending low to look at him. There was a look of concern on his faceplates and Sunny felt that familiar heat internally again. A gust of air left him as his lips parted trying to say something. Only, Prowl beat him to it.

"You should be resting."

Lowering his optics, he grumbled in return. "Not gonna happen."

"I see." Lowering onto the sofa beside him, he watched Prowl set his energon aside. "I suppose that makes sense."

"You've not gotten any recharge either, have you?"

"No."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a fraggin' work-aholic?"

"Maybe not in those words, but I've heard it many times."

"Is that all you care about?" Sunstreaker felt himself wince along with Prowl as soon as he asked the question. There was a slightly disquieted expression on the SIC's face as he leaned forward and stared at his energon cube.

"No…"

"I shouldn't have asked." It was a sorry cover up, but he wanted to get that look off the other's face by any means necessary. "You did say it was the only way you could vent…"

"My chosen method…" The tone was quiet this time as though hesitant to say anything further than that.

"Chosen?"

"I prefer… to practice Diffusion." It was so soft that Sunstreaker felt himself leaning closer just to hear it. He remembered watching those graceful motions as the mech carried out the art of Diffusion in the cave. To put it bluntly, it had been beautiful.

"I wouldn't mind… watching you do that sometime." It came out awkward and he looked like he'd been slapped when Prowl lifted his head and their faces came within a foot of each other from when he'd leaned over. After a few airless minutes, he saw the faintest hint of a smile sweep over Prowl's face.

"I could teach you."

"You could?" There was a childish excitement in that voice and he didn't even realize he was leaning closer.

With a slight nod, the Datsun reached up and carefully placed his hand on the back of his neck again. "But you can't do anything if you don't rest."

"What was it the human's say about a pot and a kettle being black?" He couldn't help but smirk as his fans kicked in. Why were his systems getting so hot?

"Touché." This time the Datsun smiled lightly and finally moved away to lean back against the sofa. "But I'm also not going to be under the knife like you are later."

"Che… I'll live. If you are so determined to make me recharge, do something to make me forget all the stuff overloading my processors."

"And what would you suggest I do?" There was a hint of amusement in that serene voice and he followed the sound leaning back as well to stay close.

"I don't know…"

_Get him to tell you a story!_

"A story..?" Sunny didn't even realize he'd said that out loud. Granted he didn't expect his brother to break his long silence right then either.

"Story?" Prowl looked like he was actually trying not to laugh. "Aren't you a bit old for that, Sunstreaker?"

"No!" Puffing up indignantly, he glared weakly at the other before tacking on a pouting addition. "Sunny."

"Ah… right… Sunny." The strategist was smirking as he tilted his head back to look at the ceiling thoughtfully. "What kind of story?"

"I…"

_A love story!_

Sunstreaker nearly choked at this idea from his twin. Coughing to clear his exhaust, he saw the look of worry on the Datsun's face. "Sorry… Sideswipe's being a glitch…"

"What did he say?"

"Nothing…" On a lower grumbled key he went on. "Something bout a love story…"

Prowl looked at him curiously as though trying to decipher the strange string of words. Shaking his head slowly, he answered softly. "That isn't a topic I'm familiar with."

"Don't you think that's a bit lonely?" Dropping his head back against the sofa, he lolled it to the side to watch Prowl's profile.

"This from the anti-socialist."

"Che…" Crossing his arms over his chest, he snorted. "Whatever… least I know I love my brother, stupid glitch that he is." He regretted it the moment he said it. Straightening as soon as it left his vocalizer he didn't miss that quickly hidden look of hurt. "Hey Prowl, I didn't mean…"

"Try to get some rest, Sunstreaker. I'll see you later." Rising to his feet, the tactician made a move to take his energon cube but he found a yellow hand grasping his wrist. Sunny refused to let go as he looked up into that blank façade. "I need to go finish my work if I want to be there today."

His spark all but sank in his chassis. "I know… but…"

"You need to let go."

_Sunny! Don't let him leave!_

He didn't want to. Primus, he didn't want to. Staring into those glacial blue optics he could only imagine the pain that was being hidden behind them. He didn't want to let go… but slowly his hand released its hold according to the tactician's wishes. "Yeah…"

Prowl seemed to hesitate before he gave a nod and moved to walk away. Following him closely with his optics, Sunny felt the pain grow exponentially when he was completely gone. Why did it hurt so much? Why? Why did it feel like… he'd regret that later?

--+--

"You mean to tell me that you've not had any recharge at all?" Slowly the tone climbed in octave as the medic seethed at the yellow twin. Cowering back a few steps, he held his hands up to placate the other and be at the ready to block flying projectiles.

"I tried to Ratch! Seriously!" Try as he may, he had given up all hope after watching those doorwings fade from his sight in the rec room. Frightening as it was, Blue was the mech that came in and distracted him from that pounding pain in his chassis.

"You can't blame him, Ratchet! This is really serious business! Didn't you feel restless all night thinking about it? I mean it's only natural—!"

"Can it, Bluestreak. I don't need to hear your pointless rambling! You!" Pointing at Sustreaker, the Lamborghini rose his hands again just incase. "Get in there before I kick your aft in there myself!"

Without hesitation he ran into the room that was indicated hearing Ratchet stop Bluestreak. "But!"

"I don't want to hear it. Stay here and watch through the window." Not looking back, Sunny found his eyes glued to the tables standing close together at the center of the operating room. There was a form on one and he felt a wave of melancholy seeing it.

_So… he really did rebuild it._

Mutely he nodded and walked closer. Looking down on the prone figure of his twin, he felt extremely impressed by the craftsmanship. There was so much love evident in the act that it was sparkbreaking. Reaching out, he lightly brushed his fingertips over Sideswipe's shoulder.

"I'm still the better looking twin."

_Ha! As if!_

He could feel the excitement in his own chassis and realized that it was tempered with nervousness. Both of the twins felt a bit morbid staring down at the lifeless mech and he could only imagine what Sides was thinking about all of this. Filling his intakes with air, he let out a sigh and offlined his optics. There was no turning back.

_Are you ready, Sunny?_

"Ready as I'll ever be."

"That's not quite the spirit I was looking for there, youngling." The lighthearted chuckle drew his attention to Wheeljack who carefully placed a hand on Sunstreaker's shoulder. "But then, this is risky even with both of us working on ya."

"Stop scaring him, Wheeljack." Gruffly, the medic chastised the science officer and waved a hand to the empty table. "Climb your aft up there."

"Heh… seems he's the only one eager to get started." Sunny nodded to the scientist and quickly did what he was told to do. As he settled on the cool surface, he felt that pang in his spark again. That pang was due to the absence of one particular mech. Lifting his optics to the long window, he saw Bluestreak pressed up against the glass sending him an encouraging smile.

Attempting to return the favor, he fell short as he searched for any sign of the other Datsun. Hands gripped the edge of the table as he began to wonder… had he lied to him? Or had he really hurt him that badly?

"Something wrong, youngling?"

Shrugging his shoulders, he caught the exchanged look between the two elder mechs before Ratchet approached him. "Are you having second thoughts?" It was oddly calm and gentle for the medic to be addressing him.

"No… that's not it."

"Then stop lousing around you rust bucket and lie down before I tie you to the berth." Grumping as per normal, the yellow warrior hesitated.

_I'm sure he's coming, Sunny… you know Prowl… he's always busy._

Right. Sure, that's all it was. Granted he wasn't convinced. Finally turning to lie on the berth, he stared at the ceiling a moment. This wasn't exactly how he'd wanted this to go…

"Well looky there, seems Prowl did make it after all." Wheeljack chuckled causing him to jerk slightly in order to look at the window.

"Huh… didn't think he'd actually leave his office or his duties. But he's always managed to surprise me in the past in different ways..."

"You mean like the time he took a swing at you when he came online and you were working on his wings?" On a normal day, he would have laughed at that mental image, but for now, his optics were stuck on the imposing figure of the SIC as he bid the gunner welcome. Giving him a curt nod, Prowl finally turned to look at him and their gazes met.

"I'll have you know, he's the reason I make sure no one else has the chance to hit me before I hit them." Growling that out, the medic seemed to be rather put out by the memory. To Sunstreaker, it was all background noise. Right then, he just wanted to jump off the berth and run into the other room to tell the tactician he was sorry.

Instead, he felt Ratchet tacking him down on the berth as a precaution eliminating the plausibility of that action completely. Frowning slightly, he wondered what was going through the strategist's mind as they held each other's optics. More than anything, he really wondered why it even mattered to him. Prowl had come and that was just going to have to do for now… _See, you shouldn't worry so much, Sunny! Prowl isn't the type to break a promise._

Nodding once, he wondered if it was for Sides or for Prowl. The strategist really wasn't the type to break a promise. But after going the entire day without seeing another hint of the mech, he'd wondered if maybe he'd pushed the other away finally. Yet, there he was and he was suddenly feeling lighter. Taking in a deep breath, he let it out slowly and turned his head to look at the ceiling. For the first time that day, he felt ready for whatever was going to be thrown at him.

"Enough dawdling, let's just get started!"

"Ready, Sunny?"

"Yeah…"

Wheeljack had explained that it was vital for him to stay awake as long as possible. They wanted and needed to know how well everything was going. It wasn't easy since he was tired, but he didn't feel like sleeping. For now, all he could do was wait as the numbing agent was injected into his fuel lines. Little by little, he felt his body die away and it left him feeling helpless. That was why he'd kept his head turned to just the right angle to see the window.

At first he'd looked at Sideswipe's prone form, but he couldn't keep his gaze there. Where he was partially excited to get his brother back where he belonged, he also dreaded it. It would leave an emptiness in him that he'd never realized was there until Sides' spark had taken up residence in his spark chamber. There was also the fear of knowing that the first mech his brother would run to would be Blue and not him. Or so… he thought he was afraid of that.

Now as he sat there and truly thought about it, he wasn't as upset as he thought he'd be. Sideswipe wouldn't forget about him, he just wouldn't be his sole focus any longer. For Siders' sake, he would learn to live with that. That was when he'd looked back to the window and kept his gaze there. Prowl stood stone still with his arms crossed over his chest and his doorwings held high. Was it just his imagination, or did they seem to twitch now and again?

It was possible. He couldn't tell what Ratchet and Wheeljack were doing at the moment, and he really didn't want to look and find out. Movement was getting harder and harder, so he wanted to keep his gaze on the two Datsun's watching over the twins and their caretakers. They had been the only ones other than Optimus to know what was happening that day. Blue looked like a tightly strung bow that was quivering. Prowl on the other hand looked calm, but the frown that was etched into his faceplates betrayed his own dislike of the situation. He really wanted to talk to him…

Time was slipping by at a leisure pace making it hard to stay focused. It wasn't until Prowl jerked to look in a different direction that he noticed he'd been dazing out. Optics were drawn to his lips as the SIC spoke, his jaw tight. What was he saying? It wasn't Blue that was talking to him, for the gunner was facing the same direction with a worried look on his face.

Frowning, he saw the rise and fall of those wings before the SIC lowered his head and looked at him one last time. In tandem with the fall of his expression, the doorwings seemed to lower and hang in defeat. For a moment he saw sadness in that gaze and then he looked away. He was leaving…

Panic flooded his entire being as he watched the tactician walk out of his line of sight. _Calm down, Sunny!_

"What's going on!?"

"Slag it! His spark is getting unstable!"

_Take a breath, bro! You can't get over excited!_

There was a panicked quality to his brother's voice, and he was trying to calm for him. Ratchet had made it clear that he needed to stay calm and relaxed. But he was feeling suddenly helpless and the corner of his vision was slowly fading away to black. Everything was getting quieter and even the scientist and medic were no more than a mumble in his audios. Where did Prowl go?

_Sunny… you have to…_

Sideswipe? His voice was getting faint. Part of him struggled to grab onto him, but he couldn't get a hold. Slowly, second by second, his vision faded out and he sank into the darkness. There was a suffocating silence that swallowed him and soon everything was dark.

Sideswipe…?

Sides?

Prowl…

_Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me_

_Hurry I'm fallin'_…

-Finé-


	12. Side Story: Second Chances

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG

**Notes:** After much thought, I decided that I had to put this sidestory in as chapter 12. The others are not specifically necessary to the story; this one has turned out to be very much so necessary. Be aware this is from SIDESWIPE'S POV. I hope not to deviate often, but this was a necessity. It will pick up at the end of chapter 10 and meander through 11. Please enjoy! This one was written for Chibi-kun. XD Thanks for helping me out so much. Sides/Blue, Sunny/Prowl, Hide/Ratch

**Warnings: **This will be shorter than normal…There will be backtracking, flashbacks, and little progress in theory till chapter 13. Yes, I know I'll be borrowing those heartstrings a little longer. ; Oh, and italics will just be thoughts and when he talks to Sunny it will be in quotation marks.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Whatever it Takes" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Lifehouse and HasTak respectively.

_A strangled smile fell from your face  
It kills me that I hurt you this way  
The worst part is that I didn't even know  
Now there's a million reasons for you to go  
But if you can find a reason to stay…_

-Whatever it Takes by Lifehouse-

"Sunny… You're…" _You're falling aren't you?_

It had been a subtle realization that seemed to come out of nowhere. But he'd been puzzling over the psychological makeup of his twin for the last four years. There was always a general understanding, but to actually be there and experience his thought process first hand somehow made him stop thinking he knew his brother. Now he had to put all of this into perspective.

There hadn't been too much thought about the SIC pushing his way into his brother's life. It had been a welcome change to the dark suffocating thoughts that had ruled over Sunny's processors and spark. At times he wondered what would be better, living in the darkness with his brother or moving on to the Matrix. It was like dying again and again, having to experience his brother's pain incessantly.

Prowl's intrusion into that cycle gave Sideswipe the much needed 'breath of fresh air' he'd been trying for ever since his body had been offlined permanently. It was surprising that Prowl was so insistent… no, it was amazing that Prowl would be the one. Everyday he'd watched the Datsun come and leave after making sure that Sunny was at least doing the minimum to take care of himself before leaving him. As the days passed, he was sure that Prowl would just give up like others had, but everyday he was there.

Sideswipe had tried rather hard to just get his brother to listen. So much of the pain could have been avoided if only his brother had listened to him when he cried out to him. Only, his voice seemed to scare Sunstreaker and it would make him pull further within. When he did react well to it, he had to pull away because then he'd feared that his brother would try to be him and not himself.

Everyday with Sunny turned into a gamble and he couldn't risk revealing the truth as long as Sunstreaker wasn't stable. For that reason alone, he could have just hugged the strategist for finally breaking through. Jazz told him once that Prowl never gave up until he got it done. He'd never given it much thought until that day he'd finally gotten Sunny to wake up.

In the beginning he figured his brother was just happy to be accepted by someone. He'd not given the idea more thought than that. But as the days went by, he caught more and more thoughts of the black and white tactician running through Sunny's CPUs. At times he was surprised by the sudden urge to go see the disciplinary officer and would realize it was actually his brother that had that feeling and not himself. Sunstreaker wasn't one to be motivated by anything other than Sideswipe, but here the Datsun was drawing his brother like a moth to the flame.

There was so much he owed Prowl. It was the strategist that made it possible for him to tell Sunny he was there with him. Everything finally started falling into place because Prowl had been the force that put his brother into motion. But how? What was happening right under their olfactory sensors?

Now as he sat in the recesses of his twin's spark chamber watching the world through Sunny's eyes, he wondered why it only now seemed to occur to him. More so, why did he realize it while Sunny seemed completely oblivious? Prowl had been someone in their lives even before they knew it. The revelation that the tactician saved them as sparklings had really made him step back. He'd not wanted to touch that subject and decided that Sunny was just hero worshipping.

But that wasn't what it was. That wasn't what it was at all. Because as he listened to Sunny's thoughts and words as he talked with the tactician, he realized just why he knew and his brother didn't. It all came down to the fact that he'd felt those feelings before and had to sort them all out on his own.

-Flashback-

"Just give it up, Sides. He's not the brightest paintjob in the body shop." Sideswipe chuckled at his brother's dry remark, but internally he was a bit defensive.

"Leave 'im alone, Buttercup. The cluelessness adds to his charm."

"Don't call me that or I'll be sure to beat your aft into the floor." Growling, he went on without missing a beat. "What charm?" Sending Sides a glare, his brother looked away and scowled. "Just admit that he's a few bolts short…"

"You just jealous that he can be considered adorable!" Cutting the other off before he could put the other mech down any further, he pasted on a wide grin. Sunstreaker snorted and Sideswipe snickered in delight at being able to shut the other down. Sunstreaker hated the meaning of 'adorable'.

"Whatever."

"Bluestreak is a friend, you should treat him better."

"The way you jump to his defense you'd think he was your lover." The snarled words were empty, but they seemed to strike him right at his core. Sunstreaker was busy etching away on a figurine that oddly looked like a Lamborghini not even seeing his twin as he frowned.

"You're so full of it you slag heap."

"Heh."

It was a sound that told Sides that Sunny thought he'd won. On the contrary, it had made him suddenly fall back into thought. For days on end, he'd found that he looked for reasons to get away from his twin to 'run into' Bluestreak whenever he could. Each time he made the Datsun laugh, he tried to note what he'd done to do so and tried more tactics.

There was a flutter in his spark just thinking about the motor mouth of a mech when he made him smile and laugh. It always seemed so spark felt when Sides caused them to occur. Little by little, he felt drawn more and more… and now it was like lightening had struck him.

He was in love with Bluestreak.

But… how? There'd been nothing special, nothing spectacular about the other, he was only himself. Love had been nonessential to the red twin as he relied almost entirely on his brother for affection and any sort of love. It had always just been a given that they would always be side by side.

There had even been a time when he thought that the only mech he could love was his other half of a spark. But with each fight and tumble they had, the more he wanted relief and room to just be. It was tiring chasing his brother down and keeping him from doing things he would regret.

"What are you doing?"

"Art."

Rolling his optics, he stared at his brother blankly. Sunny relied on him like nothing else in the universe. In fact, he would have believed it if the yellow mech ever told him that he was his universe. Not that Sunny would say anything like that. Sometimes he wondered if his twin even knew the meaning of the word affection. "I'm bored."

"Good for you."

Huffing, he moved quickly and swatted the back of his brother's head. "Fine! I'm going to find something to do."

"Good. Leave me out of it. I don't want that fraggin' copper breathing down my neck for some screwless idea you come up with."

He didn't even answer and let the door close behind him on his brother's sour words. As he took steps away from the door, it became painfully aware to him where he was going. He'd started another fight with his brother… just so he could go find Bluestreak. It wouldn't be long before Sunny would follow. But every minute… every word… every movement he observed was one more treasure. Oh Primus… he had it bad and he didn't feel a lick of guilt for how his spark was turning away from his other half.

-End Flashback-

Little by little, feeling by feeling, Sideswipe had learned who had stolen his spark and caused him to fall. That was why it all made such perfect sense to him as he watched his brother now. The only thing was he couldn't tell his ridiculous twin what he'd realized. Sunny would deny it furiously and rule out any chance. Doing that one small thing would freeze it all in place and keep things from moving any further.

That was why he'd fallen so silent after he'd had that startling revelation. It was safer to just keep it to himself. It was so obvious… That was why he couldn't help but watch just to be sure.

"Thank you…"

"Sunny, there's no need to thank me."

It had been like a slap in the face when Sunstreaker had told Prowl to call him Sunny. The less sociable twin hated that nickname and any other that came up. Yet, there he'd been telling a mech he used to despise to use it. It never ceased to amaze him the way Prowl seemed to soften his brother's rough finish and smooth it over merely with a smile. Not just any smile, one that he'd never seen on the Datsun's face before. It was so calm and happy. In fact, it was so out of place.

Sunny moved from foot to foot there in the office and Sideswipe could feel the mix of jealousy and content. Oh, but his brother had it bad. Poor Jazz wouldn't know what hit him when his brother finally accepted what his feelings were.

--+--

Sunstreaker had grown so much in such a small time period. By no means was he perfect, but at least he was getting better. It was a change that Sideswipe thought would be completely impossible. The fact that he'd given in to the idea of he and Bluestreak was enough to make his own spark twirl about dizzily in shock. It only increased when he was even given the chance to acknowledge the one he loved while still in his brother's chassis. They were such trivial things to some, but they were miracles where Sunny was concerned.

The yellow warrior believed him now. He believed that Sides hadn't known how his brother felt about him. But that was his own small lie. Not just a lie to Blue and Sunny, it was a lie to himself. As the vorns wore on and time slid by, Sides had felt the feelings that were pointed so profusely toward him.

There had been doubt, but he couldn't say he didn't know his brother loved him. What he didn't realize was just how deeply those feelings went. For Sunstreaker, their being together was so much more than just a simple assumption. In the back of his CPU, he'd always known even if he pretended not to.

Guilt ate away at him now as he remained a quiet spectator. He'd not said a word to his twin all night and he continued his silence through the encounter with Prime. It had been rather shocking to see Sunny willingly speak to Prime. The only thing that bothered him was the look that Optimus gave his brother as he walked away. What was the Autobot leader thinking?

Haughty as always, Sunny had hit the wrong chord yet again with Optimus. For some reason, he had a feeling that would come back to haunt his narcissistic twin. There would be no point in warning the other though, Sunny would just say he didn't give a glitch about the mech and go about his morose wanderings.

Sideswipe only spoke up when Prowl came into the picture. More than anything, he realized that the only one that would get his brother to snap to it would be the Datsun. It only irritated him that Prowl was just as clueless as his brother. Now he wanted to throttle the both of them as the tactician left the rec room.

Why didn't people just realize that his brother spoke before thinking about it? He said things openly without thought. Of all mechs, he was sure Prowl knew this. Granted… that accusation had been pretty harsh. Now he listened to his brother's thoughts and felt pity for the golden warrior.

"You really should think before talking, Sunny."

"Thanks smart aft."

"I mean it, bro. I'm not just teasing." Why did it always have to be a game of name calling between them? But nothing made sense with his brother. There was a swirl of pain and worry in him but he still tried to be confident as he replied.

"He took it the wrong way!"

"You're so clueless." Giving his twin the mental impression of a snort, he really wished that operation was over with so he could hit his twin's helm into the nearest piece of furniture.

"Che…"

Then why did that sound make his own spark clutch in sadness? Because his brother was sorry, he just didn't know how to say it. "I'm sure he just needed to get work done. You can talk to him later."

"Sure…"

The lack of argument made him worry. His twin seemed to be a pro at kicking himself around for his own mistakes. It may take him a while at times to realize his own guilt, but when he did, he did far more damage to himself than anyone else could. But seeing Prowl put him through the ringer so easily was unsettling. If that mech hurt his twin, he'd pin his doorwings to the wall like a butterfly.

"Cheer up, or I'll scratch your paint as soon as I'm back in my body."

"Do it and I'll turn you into a trash disposal!"

"Ha! I'd like to see you try!"

This got a series of nasty remarks and it made him chuckle. Even if he couldn't fix the pain, he could distract him. It really did hurt… to know he was responsible for all of this mess. There were so many reasons he'd heard in his brother's processes that wanted to just give up and die. Now… he'd do anything to help keep his brother alive. No matter what… he'd make all this mess right. So until then, he prayed that Primus would keep his brother alive and give him that chance to make it up to him.

--+--

_Stay strong, Sunny. Stay strong and keep holding on._ It was a mantra in his spark as he stayed silent in the yellow twin's chassis. He'd been so busy hoping that Prowl would show up, that he forgot to talk aloud to his twin and cheer him on. Instead he was just as eagerly watching for the tactician as his brother.

Halfway listening to the scientist and the medic, he kept his attention on his brother's feelings. They were so unstable and it went against all the warnings that Ratchet and Wheeljack had given him. Sunny was tired and he was upset. _Please Sunny… keep your promise to him… you'll live through this._

He couldn't bring himself to say any of it to the other. Instead they were encouragements for himself. What he did say to his brother was simple and non-pressing. "I'm sure he's coming, Sunny… you know Prowl… he's always busy."

Doubt fluttered in the other's spark, but he didn't quit hoping. Prowl would come. The tactician finished everything he started. There was no reason he should start now… right?

"Well looky there, seems Prowl did make it after all."

Those were the only words he needed to hear from Wheeljack and he was drowning in relief. It was like a tidal wave from both himself and his brother. Every part of him wanted to poke his brother and tell him that he told him so. Instead he let the other bask in the pleasant relief and allowed himself to focus on something else.

It had been slightly alarming to see his own body; he'd wanted to tell Sunstreaker not to look. In the end he kept the discomfort to himself and tried to focus on the glimpses he had of Bluestreak as he pressed against the glass. The Gunner looked like a little human child with his fingers splayed over the clear plane and his nose pressed to the glass. It was oddly cute and it made him feel lighter. More than anything he wanted to find those sensitive seams on the Datsun's sides and make him laugh. Primus knew they both needed it. So did Sunny… he wondered if Prowl would appreciate knowing his twin's sensitive spots. Knowing Prowl, he'd probably crash the mech's CPUs.

That made him chuckle to himself careful not to let his brother hear. But the amusement was short lived as he felt his brother tense in the midst of the procedure. Searching his thoughts, emotions, and surroundings, he found the SIC as he slowly moved away leaving Sunny to panic. Caught up in the moment as well, he nearly jumped when Ratchet and Wheeljack called out warnings.

"Take a breath, bro! You can't get over excited!" Begging the other to listen, he felt his senses whirl. He couldn't get a good grasp on his brother's feelings and he felt a tingling sensation surround his spark.

"Sunny… You have to hold on! Don't give up." But he knew it was hopeless. It was like turning the TV on mute. Sunny couldn't hear him. That numbing sensation that came in prickly waves wrapped about him and he found he could no longer see.

It wasn't until the sensation of fitting perfectly into a familiar groove that his spark seemed to instantly take root. Tendrils of excited energy thrummed through him and he felt awareness. The whirl of his CPUs and the thrum of gears, bolts, and metal reached audio receptors and he realized what had happened. How long had it been? His chronological clock was dreadfully off…

The world became bright as his optics finally came online. It felt like coming home after a long period of imprisonment. Though, the moment was short lived. With stiff movements that sent shivers of pain through receptors, he turned his head and stared with wide optics at his brother's still form. Normally vibrant Caribbean blue optics were dark and had no light in them. Without even thinking, he forced himself to sit up.

"Lay down Sideswipe!" Ratchet all but bellowed at him without looking up from his work in Sunstreaker's chassis. Cables ran from the yellow form running a direct line of electricity into his lazer core. It was obvious that the energy was leaving his brother and they had him on life support of a sort. Once again he wondered how long it had taken for him to fully take control of his own body again.

In clumsy motion, he tried to move to get to his twin only to fall from the berth with a loud crash. Waves of pain ran through him and he could hear the echo of Blue's voice in his CPUs as he cried his name. Even still, he couldn't stop.

With excruciating pain throwing up red flashes of warning in his vision, he pushed himself to his feet. Every step was agony as he progressed to the berth that held his twin. Ratchet and Wheeljack were working too hard on the other to continue yelling at him. His spark lurched painfully as he stared into that blank but beautiful visage of his twin.

"Sunny…" Croaking out the word, he felt his vocal processor whine in protest. Nothing had been forced to work for over four years and now they were happy with the stagnation. Like it or not, he made it all work. "Sunny wake up."  
Shaky hands gripped his brother's audio receptors sweeping his fingertips with aching gentleness over his obsidian helm. "Don't you dare… let go…"

Frantic fear took over as he felt that coldness that told him he couldn't feel his brother and their bond they shared as twins. Hands shot from his head to grasp his brother's shoulders tightly. "No. I'm not letting you die like this!"

Shaking the other with his words, he couldn't hear Ratchet as he told him to stop. All he could see was his brother's face. "You promised him! You promised him you fraggin' dumb aft! And… and you have to make him keep his!"

Fingertips dented the yellow metal and scraped at the paint. Something electrical jumped in the other's form and it made the scientist and medic suddenly sound hopeful. Looking up quickly he yelled at Bluestreak in a roar of fear and anger. "Where is Prowl?"

The Datsun jumped from his spot at the window and ran to the door throwing it open but didn't enter. "He-he's gone off cause Optimus sent him out. Jazz… Jazz's mission went wrong and he needed help. It's… been a really long time! He's not back…"

That look… that look that Optimus had given him, was that why he picked Prowl to go? Shivering in anger, he tried to keep it contained. "He needs to get his lousy aft back here!"

Confusion was evident in Bluestreak's face as his doorwings trembled. Sideswipe didn't want to yell at him; he didn't want to see him look afraid because of him. But right now… Sunny needed to pull through or he'd… he'd never forgive himself. "Sunny, you listen to me!"

Turning his head sharply to his twin, he glared down at him. "You fraggin' piece of glitched motherboard! Prowl needs you to drag his aft back in here… And you can't do that if you stay like this! Wake up!"

His voice bounced off the walls and something seemed to spark and jump under his hands forcing him to let go. In the briefest second, warrior, medic, scientist, and gunner saw the faint flicker of blue in the mech's optics. All stared in hushed amazement as the monitors finally leveled out and ceased the shrill sound that signaled an emergency.

"Nn…" Sideswipe nearly fell over in relief at that sound coming from the other's vocalizer. Leaning down for a moment, he brushed their foreheads together and shuttered his optics taking a breath. "What…?"

Lifting his head, he smirked down at the bright blue optics that seemed disoriented and lost. But all that mattered to him was that they were on. They were on and his brother's systems were functional. Thank the primal source…

Now he knew he had that chance he'd been praying for, no matter what came of this moment. No matter what may have been scrambled in his twin's head, he'd help him through it and patch the slagger back together. Because they were both alive and they could start again and this time there were no secrets.

_I'll do whatever it takes  
To turn this around  
I know what's at stake  
I know that I've let you down  
And if you give me a chance  
Believe that I can change  
I'll keep us together  
Whatever it takes…_

-Finé-


	13. Some Things Remain the Same

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG

**Notes:** Now back to our regularly scheduled POV with yours truly, the sun bot. I hope that the change for one chapter didn't mess anyone up. Now, off to making progress. Thanks for sticking with me this long! Sides/Blue, Sunny/Prowl, Hide/Ratch

I was too tired to proof it… so… sorry for grammar errors and typos. –sweatdrops-

**Warnings: **Does it classify as a warning that from here on out there will be disgruntled and irritating romantic conflict from here on out? Does it? I wonder if I should change the genre now…

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Gunning Down Romance" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Savage Garden and HasTak respectively.

_Love and other moments are just chemical reactions in your brain  
In your brain  
And feelings of aggression are the absence of the love drug in  
Your veins, in your veins  
Love come quickly  
Because I feel my self-esteem is caving in  
It's on the brink  
Love come quickly  
Because I don't think I can keep this monster in  
It's in my skin…_

-Gunning Down Romance by Savage Garden-

Drifting in the darkness, it was a palpable black that choked the ventilation systems and made it hard to breathe. There was no sound, only the never ending sea of obsidian that was colder than ice. It reminded him of outer space. The icy cold and airless space was death to those that didn't have the outer structure to withstand. Why was he there? Wasn't there something he should be doing? Or was it that there was someone waiting for him?

Whatever it was, he couldn't remember. Slowly but surely, he was getting numb as his sensors felt like they were freezing over. It was running like liquid nitrogen towards his core. That was when he heard a voice in the stillness and a jarring sensation. Who was it?

"You promised him! You promised him you fraggin' dumb aft! And… and you have to make him keep his!"

Promise? Was there a promise? Searching through his mind, he stirred a little as he attempted to figure it out. Nothing came though, and he slowly sank back into the darkness. For some reason, he didn't want to remember. Curling in on himself, he tried to sink further into the silence but that voice was piercing in deeper and louder than before.

"Where is Prowl?"

Prowl… something in him seemed to both reach out and snap at that name. For a moment all that he heard was a murmur of angry or nervous sound as he pondered that singular name. Yes, Prowl… where was he?

"Sunny, you listen to me!"

He was Sunny? No… Sunstreaker. That was his name… who was calling to him? That voice was so familiar and it demanded his response even though he didn't want to pull through. Why was that being yelling like that? Was he angry? Upset?

"You fraggin' piece of glitched motherboard! Prowl needs you to drag his aft back in here… And you can't do that if you stay like this! Wake up!"

Prowl needs him? Why would that person need him? Something about those words made him want to wake up. Did Prowl need him? It was like blindly flailing about to get a grip on a slippery ledge. The darkness made his attempts clumsy, and his mind wouldn't clear enough for him to focus. When light finally did pour in, he winced and forced himself not to withdraw from it.

"Nn…" Slowly the world began to clear and come into focus. The faintest caress of touch met his brow before it pulled away. Forcing his optics to focus he made out the smiling face of his twin and felt over whelming confusion hit him. "What…?"

"Welcome to the world of the living, Sunshine." The tone was soft and he could see the relief perfectly on that face. Why did he look like that? What was going on? Why wouldn't his CPUs clear from their fogginess?

"Don' call me that." Grimacing, he shuttered his optics to force his processor to calm down and stop spinning.

"Are you all right, Sunstreaker?" The voice caused him to bring his optics back online and stare into the masked face of the scientist.

"I think so. What happened?"

"You tried to die on me you lousy no good busted pit spawn glitch…"

"That's enough Sideswipe! Move away so we can check him before I tie you down to that berth over there to keep you out of my circuits!"

The bellow from the medic caused both the twins to wince. Sunny had had every intent to argue back with an equally long list of foul language, but the edge to the CMO's voice told him to keep it to himself. In moments his CPUs began to clear as the medic went to work optimizing his circuitry and removing tools and extra wires from him cautiously. As his thought processes cleared, he suddenly remembered what had happened.

"Where's Prowl?"

All mechs in the room seemed to stop and look at him hesitantly. The tension that seemed to have bled out of the room was suddenly back at full force. It seemed no one was willing to answer that question except the one that didn't seem to get it.

"Optimus… he told Prowl he had to lead the small task force to retrieve Jazz…" The nervous voice of Bluestreak met his audios and he nearly flared to life with disappointment, anger, and something else he couldn't quite name.

"Easy, Sunny… Let Ratchet…."

"He left…" The dry angered tone cut his brother off before he could finish. Sideswipe shifted a bit nervously. There was a look in that gaze that told Sunstreaker that his brother seemed to be far more aware of things than he let on.

His brother… for a moment he wondered why he wasn't as excited as he thought he'd be upon seeing him alive and in his own body. Instead, all he could think about was the fraggin' liar that left him. There wasn't even enough in him to be jealous of his twin and Bluestreak. Though, he was irritated that Blue managed to stay there for Sides and he wasn't even asked to.

"I don't think he had a choice, bro…"

"He lied."

"I wouldn't call it lying…"

Before Sides could finish, he was already sitting up. Ratchet cursed a few times but didn't fight the yellow twin. Sunny felt his joints protest and his energy level was dangerously low. But the pure rush of energon in his fuel lines from emotional overload had him moving on a false high. At least he waited long enough for Ratchet to assemble him before jerking away.

Without saying a word he was turning and fighting past the medic and scientist with one goal in mind. He was going to drag that sorry aft back even if he had to do it by the black and white's chevron. Stumbling away from the two that tried to restrain him, he managed to dodge his brother.

"Sunny, where are you…?"

Sideswipe looked frustrated as he was yet again ignored. Sunny was well on his way to the door stumbling now and again from the exhaustion and dizziness clouding his processes. But he didn't stop. The look on his face must have scared the Gunner because Blue quickly moved out of his way.

"Sunstreaker! I didn't say you could leave! Get your aft back in here!"

"Ratchet… he'll be back before you know it!" The chipper scientist made the medic growl at him.

"Why does he have to do everything the hard way?!"

As he made it out the door, he ignored the yelling that started behind him. For a while, the only other sound was the hesitant footsteps of his brother and Blue as they trailed at a very slow pace behind him. Well… even if he couldn't keep a steady pace, he would keep moving till he found his objective.

"Sunshine! Don't run off!" There was the sound of stumbling and the screech of metal as his twin was caught. It finally made him stop and turn just enough to see Bluestreak supporting his brother carefully with his smaller stature. There was a look of affectionate concern on Blue's face as he looked into his brother's pained visage.

For a moment he wanted to turn back and be good if only for his brother. He would have if he hadn't caught the sound of quick but off patterned footfalls heading toward them down the halls of the Ark in the direction of medical.

"Slow down, Prowler! I dun think my legs wanna keep this pace, man!"

"Prowl! You're leaking energon! You shouldn't push yourself!"

A flash of yellow caught his sight as Bumblebee hurried into sight as the voice he'd just heard. He was turned at an angle as he walked ahead of the well worn entourage of Autobots. Yellow paint was scorched and dented from battle but were nothing in comparison to the look of Jazz, Prowl, and Ironhide. Jazz seemed to be the worst of the lot with rips, tears, and severely scratched paint. His arm was draped over Prowl's shoulder as the SIC moved at a quick pace that was actually closer to a limp. Energon leaked in bright streaks down one leg and white armor was littered with blast marks and soot. Ironhide, where he wasn't injured as badly, looked no better as he walked silently behind the two small officers like a mother hen.

All of them came to a complete stop as Bumblebee nearly collided with the yellow Lamborghini. From his peripheral vision, he could see the minibot stop and squeak as he barely kept from hitting him. But he only had optics for a certain mech that held his doorwings at a terse angle as they quivered ever so slightly.

"Well… you made this easier on me." The words were snapped at the tactician. Anger was boiling in his lazer core and he felt that he couldn't stop just yet. "I really didn't want to have to march all the way out to wherever the pit you were to drag your aft back."

Prowl didn't move and didn't answer as he grounded out those words. Hurt. Sunny was hurt and he wanted to get it out. But anyone that knew him knew that the only way he knew how was through anger. What surprised him was that the only thing he could see in those normally stoic optics was a deep relief.

"I'm glad to see ya up an about, Sunny. Good to see ya, too, Sides!" Jazz was the one to try and break the silence that seemed to drag on as Prowl didn't seem all that keen on talking. For the first time, Ironhide and Bumblebee saw the red twin in the background as Jazz drew their attention.

In excitement, he heard Bumblebee sweep past him in Sideswipe's direction. "You're alive! But! But how!"

Instantly the minibot and Blue were chattering and he was persistently blocking them out. Well, Prowl wasn't going to answer? Fine. Marching closer he glared at the Datsun and spoke lowly. "You left. You fraggin' liar."

"Sunny."

"Man… when did ya start callin' him that, Prowler?" Jazz snickered lowly and received a dark look from both mechs. "Gees…tough crowd."

After Jazz showed no signs of speaking again, Prowl carefully removed the Special Ops Officer from leaning on him and looked to Ironhide. The old weapons specialist only nodded as he moved to Jazz's other side to support him. Sunny merely stood there watching him expectantly.

"I didn't leave because I wanted to."

"You didn't even want to be there to begin with! I bet you were thrilled that Prime dragged you off!"

"That is not the case."

Why the frag was he always so calm? He hated the strategist for always being so unbelievably calm. It made it so hard to really read him and know if he was telling the truth. But then… when did Prowl ever not tell the truth?

"Man, 'Hide… it's like 'I love you, I hate you, I just can't live without you'." The Special Ops officer laughed at this and the red mech shifted to keep between him and Sunny for his own protection.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but you'd better shut it; Jazz, before I beat the pit out of you." Anger flared in him and he could see his brother moving closer with a solemn look on his faceplates.

"Take it easy there honeysuckle…"

"Stay out of this and don't call me those stupid names!"

The flare of anger was causing his systems to overheat and warnings were flashing in his vision. Swaying a bit from the heat, he ignored the looks of worry from the other mechs and stared back into Prowl's optics.

"Sunny… I think you should rest…"

Stepping forward, he put one fingertip to Prowl's bumper in an attempt to push threateningly, but the contact made the momentum drain from the motion. "Don't tell me what to do, copper."

"I think it's time for you t'calm down now, youngling." Ironhide warned lightly, his jaw set tightly.

"C'mon bro… Ratchet wants us back in med bay…"

Everything was starting to swirl together. The exhaustion was winning out. But he wanted to finish this… but to what end? Sunny didn't even know what he wanted right then. Now that he had Prowl right in front of him, he didn't know what to say or do. As he stood there, he felt torn between giving in to his brother and making Prowl move, making him say something. But what?

Images were starting to swim together and he felt his balance teeter. Lifting a hand, he pressed it to the side of his head, optic ridges furrowing. He heard a few people questioning him, but he couldn't hear them as all that remained of his attention shifted to the white hand that moved to gently press against his other cheek in concern. "Sunny?"

The softest of tingles ran through his dermal plating and he felt the slightest twitch at the corner of his lips in reaction. But just as he began to let the anger go, the rush it had given went with it. Swaying once, twice, he then fell forward into the waiting arms of the tactician. In the back of his processors he knew that they were both falling. Prowl was pretty banged up and unstable, but he couldn't stop it. As the worried calls from other mech's filled his audios, he contentedly sank into recharge as his form pressed into the Datsun's embrace.

--+--

Everything was tingling from the top of his helm to his feet. His processors remembered a gentle all encompassing embrace that stayed imprinted at the forefront of his thoughts. Vaguely, his CPUs provided who it was, but he didn't dwell on it. In fact, he tried not to dwell on it. To think too hard on the situation would have been too much for him to stand. It would bring about too many questions that he just didn't have the answers for. So, instead he would just bask in the memory of that sensation.

He found he was loathe to wake as his systems drifted further toward submerging from recharge. Dimly his optics came to life and he stared into the darkened room of med bay. Checking his chronological clock, he noticed it was late in the evening close to 3 am. Most of the pain in his joints and core had faded and the dangerous dip in his energy levels had stabilized.

How had he gotten back here? Oh… he'd fallen into recharge from overdoing it. Turning his head slowly, he glanced at the other berths in the room catching sight of two figures. Dim light reflected off of white metal and he knew it was Prowl. Why was he there? A wave of shame hit him as he recalled what he'd done just before going under again. Hind sight was always 20/20. Letting out a cybertronian sigh, he only briefly took in the other figure. That would be Jazz.

Why did he think that with so much distaste? He should be happy or something, right? The Special Ops was rescued and brought home. That was a good thing. Or, at least it should be. But instead, he felt disgruntled and rather put out that it had to be Prowl to go and save his sorry aft.

Turning his head back to stare at the ceiling again, he huffed. Prime just hated him, that's all it was. That's when another thought hit him… Sideswipe. Turning his head quickly in the other direction, he met the baby blue optics of his twin staring at him while lying on his side. There was a slight smile on those handsome features as they seemed to bask in each other's presence.

"Ya know, buttercup… you should be recharging. Doc's orders."

"Whatever." Frowning at the name, he felt the urge to let it slide given the current circumstances. "Like you have room to talk."

"Well, having a bit of trouble recharging."

"It's… it's not a problem is it? You're all right, right?" Worry colored his voice and his first reply was a soft chuckle.

"Calm down, bro. I'm fine. But when you've not been in a body for as long as I have… recharge is the last thing on the processor."

"Oh…" Frowning deeply, he felt further shame as he realized how much time he'd spent giving way to his emotions of anger and how that had completely thrown off their reunion. Sometimes, he wished that Ratchet could throw things hard enough to offline him before he did stupid things. "Can I…?"

As he trailed off the red twin started to laugh lightly again. He'd put that tone into his vocalizer again telling the other exactly what he needed. It was something he always did when things went so wrong he couldn't control it. "Get over here you silly spark."

Without hesitation, he slid off his berth and crossed to the other warrior and crawled up onto it. There was fluid movement as the sociable twin carefully wrapped him up in his arms draping them over the yellow shoulders. Likewise, Sunny slid his arms about the other's waist and buried his face against the smooth red hood.

"I didn't mean to upset you."

"You never do, Sunny."

"I've missed you."

"Yeah… I've missed you too."

"I ruined it… didn't I?"

"Nah… I got to spend time with Blue after you passed out. You did kinda scare me though going out like that. You always push things too far. Watching you crash into Prowl and take him down… was quite a sight." The red mech snickered softly and thumped one yellow shoulder. "Ya glitch… if I knew you could pull off the fainting damsel so well, I would have made you do that while I ran from Prowl in the past."

"Ha ha. Funny."

"I think it's hilarious."

"Whatever." Grumbling, he shuttered his optics and shook his head.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Something like that."

"It was a yes or no question, Sunshine."

Sunstreaker only smiled into the warm metal of his twin's chest. "Don't call me that."

"Then give me a straight answer."

"Yes."

Both fell silent at that just basking in each other's presence. Sideswipe was the first to break it. "We used to do this a lot… didn't we?"

"I need to grow out of it…"

"Don't grow too fast. You're still my twin."

"You don't need me anymore."

"Nonsense. Just get that out of your processors now… cause we're still the twin hellions that will continue to drive Prowl and the rest of the command staff crazy." Chuckling, he lifted one hand off Sunny's shoulders to place it on the back of his helm. "Or are you so attached to the copper that you won't be helping your brother out anymore?"

"Nothing will stop that." He felt the relief in his spark as he stated that resolutely. Maybe things weren't exactly like he hoped they'd turn out, but he was happy enough. His brother loved him even if it wasn't the love he had always hoped for. Nothing would stop him from standing at his brother's side… but that didn't mean he'd rely solely on him… problem was, he needed to apologize to said 'copper'. All the reasons to apologize were simply piling on one after the other.

"Sunny…" Sideswipe shifted uncomfortably and he lifted his head to look at the other's face curiously. "Let's not stay like this. Best not get Ratchet angry, right?"

There was a little disappointment in his optics, but he brushed it aside. His twin had a point. All he'd needed was a moment alone with Sides and he already felt better. There wouldn't be many from there on out… but he was strangely ok with that as well. Nodding once, he slid off the berth and moved back to his. As he turned to slide back onto it, he thought he caught the faintest glow of blue from Prowl's direction. Looking again, he found nothing there. He must have been imagining things.

Shifting about to get comfortable, he didn't even realize he was falling back into recharge under the watchful gaze of his twin. He had a lot to do in the morning. The first thing was to apologize to the Datsun for his behavior.

--+--

Two days. It had been two days since he'd woken up in med bay ready to talk to the SIC. Only, as he looked about the room that morning, the Datsun was gone. After that he'd spent endless hours trying to catch the strategist alone so that he could talk to him. Instead all he got was quiet declines and other mechs informing him that Prowl was in the middle of a meeting or working.

Working. Prowl was always working and he seemed to be working twice as hard as he had been before when he'd taken Sunstreaker on as a responsibility. To make matters worse, the Datsun looked exhausted. Rarely did the doorwings rise to their normal height and the normally sharp blue optics were dim and cloudy. The idiot was working himself into stasis.

To put it bluntly, it was pissing him off. Optimus had kept him off the roster for another week to give both of the twins time to recover. Where Sunstreaker had managed to do what he was told, his brother… well, he was back in the swing of things with too much time on his hands. Whenever he declined to take a hand in the pranks, Sides would simply take the ideas to his new mate.

The idea made him rather disgruntled, but he didn't say anything nor argue it. When Sides wasn't pranking, he was properly pestering him to join in on some crazy scheme. It was only a day ago that he'd finally agreed. Though, the only reason he agreed was simple. He'd get in trouble.

If they got caught and got in trouble, there was one mech that would have to see them. It was a simple idea and he was determined to make it work. That was why it was his idea to implement the prank they'd started planning with Bluestreak. They already had the dye in their capable hands stolen from Ratchet's supplies. In fact, he even acted as a look out in the halls that night as his twin and Bluestreak managed to break through the ridiculous security codes on Red Alert's door.

The security officer was getting lax. The long stretch without Sides there to drive his processor to stalling had given him a false sense of security. That was why he was actually recharging and giving them the perfect opportunity to act. Now he was waiting for the officer to emerge into the world of the conscious and sound the alarm.

Red would never disappoint him. The alarm went off like clockwork sending the halls of the Ark into movement as mechs emerged from their rooms to find out what was going on. It seemed even they were getting too relaxed with the absence of their best prankster. Leaning back against the wall not far from Red's quarters, he shuttered his optics and waited.

Loud footfalls erupted like thunder as a mech ran down the halls yelling loudly. "Decepticons! My vision! Ratchet!" Arms flailing in a flurry of movement, Red ran straight past Sunstreaker in the direction of med bay. Score.

Lifting away from the wall, he turned on his heel and started for the rec room. Just as he got there, the alarms went silent. It was obvious Ratchet had at least confirmed that Red wasn't attacked by Decepticons and informed Prowl. Now it was simply a matter of time before he sought out him and his brother and drug them in for questioning.

Sauntering into the room, he dropped into the seat next to his twin on the couch. Sideswipe looked like an earth cat that had just caught the canary so to speak. He was careful to look like he was completely engrossed in the video game not caring about the commotion about him. On his other side, Blue tried to do the same. Only, he wasn't nearly as convincing. In fact, he may as well march to Optimus himself and turn himself in. Really… his brother was going to be cleaning the wash racks weekly with a Cybertronian dental brush if he insisted on letting Blue 'help' with pranks.

The mechs in the room sent many looks in their direction. Most knew that it had something to do with them. Yet, there really never was proof to pin them as guilty. Murmurs were shared all around as they debated whether to ask what nefarious act they'd pulled off this time. Only, before they could muster the courage, an imposing figure stood in the doorway.

Without looking up, he knew who it was. In his CPUs he could see the way doorwings twitched in irritation with each step the tactician took. When the shadow fell over the trio on the couch, he felt the slightest hint of the smirk cross his faceplates. Neither twin reacted beyond that, but Blue literally squeaked and dropped his controller.

"Good morning, Sideswipe, Bluestreak… Sunstreaker."

The smirk was gone and he was frowning. Either that was because he was in trouble or because he didn't seem to dignify his requests to be less formal as applicable any longer. Well, two could play at that game. "What do you want, copper?"

"You're messing up the game, Prowl!" Sideswipe tipped his head back to give the SIC a half sparked pout. "Blue just can't play when mechs loom like that!"

"Oh, I just wanted to know if perhaps you had any idea why the alarm went off this morning." Blue at least didn't break out with the truth right off; instead he quivered and tried to pick up his controller without making a noise.

"I don't know, Mr. Officer. Wouldn't you know that without our help?" Lifting his optics finally to the stern expression on Prowl's face, he caught a slight glare for his retort.

"It seems that Red Alert woke up this morning 'seeing blue'… care to explain that to me?" It was almost as if the black and white was purposely ignoring Sunstreaker to glare at Sideswipe. Frowning at this, he wondered if it were possible that the SIC could have it out for his twin. But then, why would he?

"Aw, Prowl! Why would I know about that? Is he malfunctioning?"

Prowl only twitched one doorwing at a time. "All three of you. In my office. Now." Turning sharply he started to walk away. "Move." All three mechs were instantly on their feet with wide optics and following after him. There was just something in that tone that left no room for argument.

All stayed quiet as they followed in his wake only speaking after his office door closed behind him. "Any reason why you seem to be singling us out, officer?"

"That should be obvious." Cutting Sunny off, the SIC stood with rigid posture behind his desk watching them. "I'm giving you this chance to tell me what you did. If I find out that you did it and you didn't turn yourselves in, the punishment will be far worse."

"What exactly do you think we did? You can't prove it, Prowl." Sideswipe smiled cheekily at the officer that only lifted an optic ridge. Scanning from one mech to the next, he stopped on Bluestreak whose doorwings were drooping and his optics were pasted to the floor.

"Care to tell me anything, Bluestreak?"

"N-no sir!" Well, he wouldn't just spill under pressure. Sunny was slightly impressed. It seemed to disappoint Prowl though.

"Very well. I warn you though; you won't like it when I find out what happened."

"Consider us warned, copper!" Sideswipe only smiled his best innocent smile.

"Dismissed." Turning away from them, he could tell by the way his wings stood that he was angry or at least upset. On the other hand, Blue and Sides were happily leaving the office not realizing that the yellow warrior hadn't moved.

After so many tries to catch the tactician, he was finally in his office and when the door closed, they were finally alone. "What gives?"

Prowl jumped just slightly and whirled about to stare hard at the warrior. "I told you, you could leave."

"I want to talk to you."

"Why?" The Datsun gave him a curious look that was edged with irritation over the reports he'd have to write to work out this latest stunt.

"You've been skipping out on sessions."

"Sessions…" Prowl's optics flickered in surprise.

"Yeah." Frowning hard, he moved closer to the desk leaning forward with his palms on the edge. "Remember? You're supposed to be analyzing my fragged processors to clear me for duty."

A few stunned moments passed by as the tactician tried to understand what he was saying. Sunny on the other hand was more so waiting for the other to relax… more than anything he had to fix things. "They aren't necessary…"

"Are you saying that you don't want to talk to me?" Part of that tone was anger, but the other part was surprisingly hurt. Necessary. Did it have to be necessary for the two of them to talk? "So what? You've got my babysitter back in my twin and you don't want to deal with me anymore?"

"Sunny…" Prowl spoke softly, one hand lifting to stop the other from going on. "That's… not the case at all."

"Then why have you been so slaggin' busy? Huh, Prowl? You've been taking on more duty on purpose! Do you even recharge anymore? You're avoiding me!" Hands clenched the desk hard as the other watched him training all expression out of his face. Sometimes he just wanted to grab the other and shake him.

Lips parted as the Datsun tried to reply, but nothing came out. After a moment, his head dropped along with his doorwings. "You're always with Sideswipe."

"Excuse me?" Sunny stared in surprise this time. "What does my brother have to do with this?"

"You have him back… you don't need me."

Sunstreaker was at a loss. What? Furrowing his optic ridges, he didn't know what to think of that sad and defeated pose that Prowl had adopted. It seemed that he'd had it all wrong. All this time he'd thought Prowl was getting rid of him, and Prowl had thought that he'd been the one that was out of place.

"You know… I think I'm the one that should decide who I need and don't need."

Prowl looked up quickly, his optics shining with something Sunny couldn't name. "Sunny?" There was so much shock in that tone that was being forcibly covered up. It literally made him smile and slowly release the death grip on the desk.

"Honestly, Prowl… do you really think I want to spend every waking second with my twin? Watching him and Blue makes me want to purge my systems." Making a gagging motion, he caught the smallest hint of a smile on Prowl's lips.

"That would be annoying…"

"You've no idea." Sunstreaker rolled his optics and slowly sank into the chair. "Got a moment, copper?"

"I think I can spare a moment."

"Good…" Staring at his hands a few minutes, he finally spoke softly. "You know… I'm sor… sorry. For being a total glitch to you before and after the procedure…"

"You were stressed…"

"Don't give me excuses. I can make enough for myself." Prowl seemed to smile again at this and slowly moved around the desk. One hand came to rest on Sunny's head and the younger mech sighed. "So… still mad at me?"

"I was never mad at you. Leaving out the prank that was played on Red Alert, of course… otherwise I'm not mad at you."

The yellow warrior fought the urge to chuckle and let himself dwell more on his curiosity. "Then why did you keep running from me the last two days?"

"I…" Frowning in thought, Prowl leaned back against his desk just in front of him. "I suppose you could call it feeling hurt…"

"I guess I could call it the same…"

"Seems we both came to wrong conclusions."

"Yeah…" Pausing, he looked up into that placid visage and smiled lightly. "So… can we still have sessions?"

"Yes. We can."

"Good…"

_Love don't leave me_

_Take these broken wings  
I'm going to take these broken wings  
And learn to fly  
And learn to fly away  
And learn to fly away…_

-Finé-


	14. Dance of Realization

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG

**Notes:** Here we go again! But at least I let you have your heartstrings back. This took me longer because I've been distracted for one and two, exhaustion can really drain you of inspiration. But! Never fear, I will finish this! And kudos to Okami for reminding me of something I forgot to do in chapter 13. Time continuity will be explained in this chapter since I forgot in the previous. Please enjoy Sunny/Prowl awkwardness!

**Warnings: **Irritation over dense mechs alert. Be aware… Sunny is blonde by nature of his paint color. –Winks-

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "See Who I Am" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Within Temptation and HasTak respectively.

_Fear is withering the soul  
At the point of no return.  
We must be the change  
We wish to see.  
I'll come into your world,  
See through your eyes.  
I'll try to understand,  
Before we lose what we have.  
_  
-See Who I Am by Within Temptation-

Prowl never gave up on them being the culprits. Not that he blamed him. Bad things tended to happen when Sideswipe was on the loose. For now though, the tactician was watching the red Lamborghini like a hawk. That was why he'd hushed up any plans at current for a prank. Sides was no fool and knew when he needed to keep it under wrap. This was the reason the front liner was now sitting at the bar in the rec room next to Jazz with himself sitting on his other side.

Jazz was still recovering from his mission, but he already looked tons better than he had the day Prowl drug him in. Not that it made Sunny like him any better than previous, but he would admit that the mech looked better. At current he was trying to ignore his brother and the saboteur as best he could, but they were notorious for talking loudly whenever they could.

"So… that's what happened in med bay that had Prowl's doorwings all in a crinkle." Jazz snickered as Sideswipe nodded vigorously. Had they been talking about the procedure? "Probably better the Prowler wasn't there to see Sunny go all comatose like that if ya know what I mean. You must have been out a while…"

"It didn't feel that long." The red twin looked at Jazz curiously before going on. "How long were you out in the field? I mean… you know… how long was Prowl not in med bay with us?"

"I'm glad ya asked!" The Porsche grinned from audio to audio. "Ya see… I was on my merry way back from a recon run when those crazed microcassettes attacked me with the Seekers close in tow. S'pose I didn't go unnoticed like I thought. Anyway, I radioed for help… and it didn't take long for Prowl and his team to get there…"

"You say that like you're amused." Sides canted his head to the side in curiosity as he listened, causing Sunny to pay more attention. Where he didn't want to admit it, he really did want to know what happened and how Prowl could get that fragged in such a short time.

"Oh, I'm very much amused, Siders. I wasn't that far an' all, but Prowl got there like it was just next door t'the Ark. Then he went and hurried himself puttin' no thought into the operation." Jazz was so close to laughing, Sunny could feel it before he could hear it. "First time I have ever seen Prowlie run in guns blazin'. It was a sight to remember even if we all got the slag kicked out of us. I think he got us out of there on sheer willpower alone."

Sideswipe was cracking up and Sunny knew it was because he was picturing the Datsun running headlong into battle like a bad war film. He had to admit, the idea of it was as humorous as it was ludicrous. "You're kidding! By the book, Prowl?"

"I kid not! Even when he was injured he insisted he help me get back to base. For someone with a busted leg joint… he sure could move fast, man…"

"So… that's why he was draggin' your aft in."

"Only cause 'Hide wouldn't go fast 'nough for him."

"Primus, Prowl must have busted a few circuits to act like that."

"Nah, just completely dedicated t'keepin' promises."

Sideswipe snickered where he only stared at the table surface in thought. He'd been so angry that Prowl had left, that he'd not even managed to understand that Prowl couldn't help it. So… the copper nearly botched a mission just to get back quickly… "I didn't think we were out of commission long enough to have you guys get back really. Even if he was hurrying and what not…"

"That's cause you were out for a long span there. Ratchet told me ya were out cold while you were stabilizing. 'Jack made sure you were kickin' while Ratchet kept your brother alive." Jazz chuckled at the looks of realization on the twins' faces. "I tell ya… even though it was a few hours; it took Prowler no time at all. Then he was a slave driver gettin' us back."

"I noticed." His twin grinned knowingly as he looked at Jazz. It was almost as if the red twin was hinting at something, but Sunny didn't know what it was.

"Yeah, I noticed, too." Jazz's smile twisted into something that was near diabolical as he leaned toward Sideswipe. Sunstreaker felt himself leaning in as well trying to make sure he didn't miss the conversation. "When did ya notice, Siders?"

"Oh… not that long ago." Sideswipe gave his best smirk and leaned in as well making the conversation seem as though it was most important and secret. "It was hard not to notice, but I gotta know Jazz man… when did YOU notice?"

"C'mon Siders! I noticed a long time ago! That's something that you'd have to be blind not to notice." There was a happy snicker in that tone that made Sunny frown darkly. What was this conversation about? What in the name of Primus were they talking about? "Let's hope it gets noticed by those two before Ratchet has to format the pair into a curling iron and blow-dryer."

"That's a good reasons for why it shouldn't go unnoticed." Sideswipe nodded sagely causing Sunstreaker to suddenly growl.

"What on this Primus forsaken planet are you talking about being 'noticed'?!"

The outburst earned two sets of amused optics pinned on him with matching smirks to accompany them. Jazz finally turned to Sideswipe and the Lamborghini gave a slight nod. "You'll notice it, too, eventually."

Shooting up from his seat, he realized he'd had far more than enough of this juvenile conversation. He was happy to know what had happened during his down time, but the two were unbearable when they were equally annoying. "Whatever. I'm out of here."

"Tell Prowler hi for me." Jazz snickered causing him to turn and glare at the Special Ops mech.

"Why should I? And how do you know I'm going to look for him?"

"Oh… cause he actually has time off an' I was sure ya'd keep him company. S'why your brother was so kind as to keep me company while Blue's out on patrol." Both of the seated mechs chuckled at this and Sunstreaker felt his optic ridges rise.

"Che… whatever, do what you want."

"See ya later, Sunny!" Sides called after him cheerily but he simply ignored it. Right then he was more focused on the idea that Prowl had free time for the first time in the last few days. It hurt a bit to know he'd not been told. Why was that? Regardless, he would look for him. Besides, someone needed to show the stiff mech how to spend his free time. He was free; it may as well be him.

--+--

"You're off duty."

"I still have work to do."

"Come ON, Prowl… do something other than work for once." The yellow mech leaned on the officer's desk almost optic to optic with the Datsun. For the most part, he could almost see the hint of a smirk on those lips that never broke through.

"And what would you have me do?" Prowl spoke so calmly that it made him almost feel like jittering or shaking him to make him move.

"I don't know." Sunny groused over the question and muttered an aside that wasn't meant to be heard. "It's your boyfriend's fault for taking away my only entertainment."

"Pardon?" Prowl's face twisted into a look of surprise then a frown. "I'm afraid I don't know who you are speaking of."

"No one."

"Stop muttering… who?" The voice was softer and only served to make him feel... well… embarrassed. That was why he sheepishly said the name but it wasn't intelligible. "Sunstreaker."

"Jazz."

Prowl looked stunned at this and suddenly started to frown. "You didn't bet on him did you?"

"What?"

"Nothing." Waving it off, he went on quietly. "Jazz is my best friend. We've been over this before. So tell me, Sunny, what did he do now to upset you?"

"They kept talking about noticing something and wouldn't tell me what it was. It was downright irritating."

"Sometimes… it's better not knowing what is running around in Jazz's processor." Was it just him, or did Prowl suddenly seem nervous?

"Che… I never want in his head, thanks."

"Tell me Sunstreaker… what would you suggest we do?"

Looking at the tactician quickly, his spark lightened as the topic changed. Prowl didn't just ask what he should do with his free time, he said 'we'. Thinking quickly, a certain promise cropped up to the forefront of his mind. "Well… you said you'd teach me Diffusion."

"Oh? I did, didn't I?" The SIC chuckled and gave him one of those rare spark felt smiles as he finally nodded his head. "All right… just a quick lesson."

"Yes!" The surge of excitement was a little more than he could contain, but as Prowl looked at him in surprise; he calmed instantly and shuffled about. "I mean… it's cool to learn stuff and all."

"I didn't think you liked learning so much." Moving from behind his desk, he gracefully swept past Sunstreaker to the door opening it. "Shall we?"

"Yeah." Following in his wake, he kept pace behind the Datsun watching the back of his head curiously. There was something about that figure that made him start to think. What did Prowl remind him of? The way he moved, fought, even acted at times… they reminded him of something. That was when he started thinking about the name as well. Prowl: to roam around an area stealthily in search of prey. It was a word commonly used for… large cats. "Prowl…?"

Looking over his shoulder, the strategist nodded. "What is it?"

"You know… you're like… a big cat. You know… a jaguar… or panther or something…" Sunny seemed deep in thought as the Datsun looked at him a bit too shocked to reply. "You know… the name… movements… you're like a cat."

"Sunny?"

"No… you're not mean enough really. More like… a kitten." That's when a playful smirk hit his lips as his musing came to that final deduction. "You even have the silhouette of a kitten because your chevron."

Prowl stopped in mid step turning about to look at Sunstreaker. There was a strange play of emotion in those optics as he finally shook his head and turned to start walking again. Usually he liked picking on other mechs to see them get angry, but this was more so to see how Prowl would react. In fact, he'd been so deep in study of the elder mech that he didn't realize they were now out in the early morning sunlight not far from the Ark.

"Good morning, Prowl, Sunstreaker." Stopping as Prowl stopped; he looked up to see the larger form of Skyfire as he sat on a boulder. The SIC smiled amiably catching the attention of the Lamborghini as he greeted the jet.

"Good morning, Skyfire. Did you recharge well?" The polite kindness in Prowl's voice had the warrior watching him closely. It wasn't the same sort of kindness he saw so frequently these last few weeks. This wasn't a false kindness, but it wasn't of the same depth that he'd received from the normally stoic officer.

"I did, thank you. I thought Optimus had you off duty. Are you going on patrol with Sunstreaker?"

"No, we're just out to enjoy the day you could say." There was a stunned moment as surprise filtered over Skyfire's face before he finally nodded.

"It is a lovely day. Be careful. You never know when a seeker will fly through."

"We will. Thank you for your concern." Nodding his parting to the large carrier, he turned to keep walking. Following after him, he kept the peripheral of his vision on Skyfire as he watched them curiously not seeming to understand the match up. It was simple confusion. Then again, had he seen this even a month ago, he would have been just as confused as the overly kind scientist.

When they were far out of ear shot of the large flyer, Prowl stopped and turned to face Sunny with a serene smile. Was that amusement in his optics? "What?"

"I want to warn you that I'm a rather strict teacher."

"You don't think I knew that? Be serious, Prowl."

"Very well." With a nod, the slightly smaller mech began to explain the principles of Diffusion to the younger warrior. "It is a fighting style… but it is like art." Sunny wanted to gape. It was as though the tactician was trying to put it in ways he could grasp easily. "It's not rushed and it's not learned quickly over night. And like art… you do it often and never accept it as good enough."

The artist drive was to always strive to improve. He could understand that. That was why he listened rather intently as the rules were laid out for him. It didn't even feel like it had been that long before Prowl finally finished and told him he would show him a few basic forms to practice.

His optics were glued to the Datsun's body as he did such simple movements with a fluidity that just didn't seem possible. Each curve of a limb and step of his feet was nearly soundless and as fluid as a stream. Was this where Prowl learned to move like he did? "Now… try it."

Jerking in surprise, he stared at the motionless mech and felt his internals heat up. "I… what?"

"I said… try it."

"Um… ok." He felt like a complete fool as he tried to mimic those motions. There was only quick movement that jerked at most where it should have flowed.

"You're not fighting anything, Sunny. Relax." He wanted to snap that he was trying, but instead he kept attempting. "Slow down… there's no rush."

"Not everyone is as graceful as you, kitten!"

There was a long moment of silence as the tactician tried to work that statement through his processor. Instead of a response, he only sighed and slid up behind the suddenly shameful bot. If Cybertronians could blush, he would have been as red as his twin. Then he would have been redder still as Prowl pressed his body against his back and ran his hands down his arms.

That was when he lost his breath as those hands perfectly braced his and moved them in the motions with ease. It was like the hands of a master puppeteer leading his moves gracefully. Even pressed against him, their armor didn't scuff into one another. It was like dancing… A beautiful dance where he had to trust the other to lead him the right way. How had he gotten to this place with the Datsun? When did he learn to trust him so easily and faithfully?

"Do you see how smoothly you need to move?" That voice was softer than usual and it was hard to hear. Did Prowl even notice how close they were?

"Yeah…"

That was when his legs were guided with the same grace in the motions that Prowl performed so easily on his own. It was like a miracle to see his own limbs function in such a gentle smooth manner that he didn't usually have. Fighting had always been crass and straight forward for him, this was not. "It's relaxing… isn't it?"

"Mmhm…" It was all he could manage as his optics shuttered off and gave blind faith to the black and white mech. "You're a good teacher."

There was a soft chuckle as his answer, their dance never ending. "I didn't think you'd be willing to put so much trust in me…"

"I don't think… I meant to… kinda happened."

There was a long silence before Prowl went on softly. "Are we talking about Diffusion, Sunny?"

"I…"

"Prowl! Prowl, where are ya?! Oh!" Instantly the two stopped and backed far away from each other. Prowl looked up at the yellow minibot looking strained to keep a steady expression.

"Yes, Bumblebee?"

"I… well… ah…" The bot moved about in embarrassment flicking his gaze to Sunny. Sunny for the most part wanted to melt into the dirt and disappear. "O-Optimus asked me to find you. And uh… Skyfire said he saw you go this way a while ago and…"

"That's enough, Bumblebee. I'll go find him, thank you."

With a quick nod, the yellow minibot ran off as fast as his legs could carry him. Sunstreaker felt a cold sinking feeling in his chassis. Not only was he pissed they were interrupted, he had a foreboding feeling that he was going to have this all come back to haunt him as soon as he returned to the Ark.

"We'll try again later, if you like."

Looking up at the enforcer, he felt his spark flutter at the look on that visage. It was hope that lay in those blue optics. "Yeah… I'd like that."

Nodding once, he turned and moved away. Watching him for a bit, he caught the other looking back a few times, he thought he even saw him stumble before he disappeared from view. What just happened?

--+--

The rest of the day went by in a blur. All he could think about was that feeling he'd had while out there in the presence of the Datsun. The movements, the touch, and that realization that they weren't saying nearly enough. But what was it they weren't saying? Prowl was right… he hadn't been talking about just the Diffusion lesson. He'd been learning each day that he had more faith and trust in the tactician than any other mech besides his twin.

There wasn't a moment in the day that he didn't want to talk to Prowl. Even those simple realizations were suddenly important enough to let the Datsun know. Sometimes he found himself wondering what Prowl would do in the situation or how he'd react. When he'd sit and watch Sides with Blue… he suddenly wished that Prowl was there. But why would he think about him in that situation?

It was like the truth was on the tip of his glossa but he couldn't get it out of his vocalizer. What did it mean when you started to think about someone all the time? Pondering on the thought deeply, he remembered suddenly that he'd been staring at the sparring droid blankly for at least thirty earth minutes without moving. Shaking it off, he went to turn it on.

"So… if it isn't the Sunflower of Doom." Jerking at that haughty voice, he turned to see Tracks leaning against the doorframe that led into the small training room.

"Say it again and I'll make sure no one will ever be able to identify what alt form you are ever again." The growled retort wasn't as strong as it usually was.

"Getting soft there, Sunbot? Or is someone 'making' you soft?" There was a sneer in that voice as the vain mech sauntered over to him.

"What's that supposed to mean you over grown, narcissist?"

"I mean… you would have been throwing punches already if you weren't getting so… mushy. Not to mention that I never thought your standards would get so skewed."

Flaring on the inside, he turned to face the haughty bot that looked all but sure that he'd won this little name calling fest. "I don't know what you're talking about, but I'd be happy to show you why you're wrong."

"You're all talk, Sunshine."

Growling, he was instantly in Tracks' face. "Want to say that again?"

"I said… You're. All. Talk." Laughing happily at the fury on his face, Tracks moved closer with a smirk. "I suppose I win at being the best looking mech."

"Like the pit you do! You're just an over painted slag heap!"

"At least I didn't lower my standards!"

"What the pit are you talking about?" Anger welled up in him, but he really didn't see what the vain mech was talking about. What standards?

"If you're beauty really was a rival to mine, you certainly wouldn't stoop so low as to pursue Prowl of all bots. I nearly laughed my circuits into overheating hearing about that." Absolute anger washed over him as the corvette went on. "I never knew you'd have to settle like that for all your talk."

It was like being consumed in flames and he couldn't stop it. The first thing he noticed was the sound of metal creaking and bending on impact. The next thing he realized was that his fist was rearing back to make the same contact. Anger took over as he laid another hit into the surprised mech finally spurring him into fighting back.

Little attention was paid to the pain as he felt his spark clench in fury. The fragger had no right. "Say what you want about me, you slag head! But leave Prowl out of this!"

To punctuate his point, he hit Tracks again reveling in the cry the other made before they tangled together again in their fighting. Through the rage and anger, only one thought seemed to rouse him from the mindless actions.

Prowl… what would Prowl say about this?

_See who I am,  
Break through the surface.  
Reach for my hand,  
Let's show them that we can  
Free our minds and find a way.  
The world is in our hands,  
This is not the end._

-Finé-


	15. Finding the Balance

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG

**Notes:** Such slow goings…. I've been rather distracted. That and I want to be careful how I proceed from this point. It's a bit more difficult to keep them in character at this point. How do you like it so far? I hope you love them as much as I do together. –Wink- Sorry I'm going slower… I've been really busy. Lots of love for Sunny/Prowl, Sides/Blue, and Hide/Ratchet.

**Warnings: **Confused mechs and many angry spurts of one irritated and enlightened yellow mech. At least I'm not playing with your heartstrings anymore. –Heart-

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Foolish Games" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Jewel and HasTak respectively.

_You took your coat off and stood in the rain,  
You're always crazy like that.  
And I watched from my window,  
Always felt I was outside looking in on you.  
You're always the mysterious one with  
Dark eyes and careless hair,  
You were fashionably sensitive  
But too cool to care.  
You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say  
Besides some comment on the weather._

-Foolish Games by Jewel-

It shouldn't really be surprising. Though, after being so long without spending time in this particular cell, he still felt like it was only yesterday. Ironhide had teasingly said he would put his name over the cell if he kept up with his 'antics'. Yes, that was a subtle word for his less than amiable behavior amongst the other Autobots that always seemed to find a way to hack him off.

Sitting on the floor with his back against the wall, he stared down at the many scratches and dents in his armor and scowled. When Red Alert and Ironhide made it to the training room, he and Tracks had already gotten far enough into it to leave rather nasty abrasions and marks of their fight on one another. The only thing that made him content with his situation was the knowledge that Tracks was far worse off than him. In his fit of rage, he'd managed to beat the narcissist so badly, he couldn't even transform at the moment if he wanted to.

Unfortunately, they were both in the brig next door to each other. To make matters even worse, Ironhide said that Prowl would be down to talk to him about their behavior as soon as he was done with his meeting with Optimus. More than anything he was dreading that confrontation. That was the only reason he'd not started laying into the mech that was loudly complaining about not being repaired first before being thrown in the metal cage.

"This isn't right! I am damaged! I must be fixed!"

"Will you shut it?" Growling under his breath, he heard the other shift.

"Frag off!" Sunny was about to answer that comment when Tracks decided to take the liberty to go off on him. "What's wrong with you?! After slumming it up with that Datsun, you're not worried about your looks?"

"Why you fraggin' glitch…" His voice was soft at first and progressively climbed to a louder level of sound. "Didn't I put you in your place or do I have to give you another round?"

"Ha! Don't make me laugh, Sunstreaker!" Snarling through a mock laugh, he went on. "I thought that slaggin' minibot was just seeing things when he came in all excited about seeing you and our local sheriff spending quality time together. Oh… but your whole attitude speaks for itself!"

"What the pit are you talking about?!" It was getting frustrating. More than anything he wanted to get his hands on the blue mech and just throttle the spark right out of him. His entire form was quaking with anger as he waited for the other to explain. Why was he so angry? There had been a time in his life when he'd made fun as well, but it all felt so different now. Now he knew the SIC and knew him rather well…

"Oh, don't play dumb, Sunstreaker! I heard Prowl was getting close to you. Funny! I can't tell whose settling more. I'd say that Prowl was just hard up, but then we always knew his processor was fragged… so that just leaves you, now doesn't it?"

Before he knew what was happening, he was on his feet and facing the wall, one fist imbedded in the metal. "Shut it, Tracks! You have no idea what you're talking about! What?! Are you saying you think I deserve better!?" Another fist hit the cell wall as he felt tremors run down his back.

"You could do a pit of a lot better that's for sure! You better get your processor checked Sunstreaker! Cause if you're going to just settle with Prowl, then you're already prepped for the scrap pile!"

"Shut up! SHUT UP! You don't know him!"

"And you do? You need someone better Sunny!"

"Right. Who? You?"

"Better than Prowl!"

Everything seemed to haze over in red before it all snapped back into place. The anger was settling to a subtle rage as he spoke just loud enough to be heard. "I think you're the one who is fragged in the processor, Tracks. I'd laugh if I thought you even deserved that much thought." Pausing, he curled his fingers into hard fists sending waves of pain from his palms into his sensory circuits. "No… I'm not settling. If anyone doesn't deserve the other, I'm the one that doesn't deserve him. "

"He's zero in personality. He's boring, and probably doesn't know the meaning of feeling. He's definitely nothing special in the looks department either…" He could hear Tracks move to yell more, but he didn't, suddenly going very quiet. That was odd? Irritated that the other stopped so abruptly, he turned to look out into the rest of the brig only to go stone still at the imposing figure standing just in sight of his cell and Tracks'.

Prowl held himself at a rigid posture, slowly turning his optics to Sunny. In an instant he saw the way the doorwings almost quivered on his back and the way those blue optics trained everything into careful neutrality. Oh slag…

Turning away quickly, he pressed his forehead into the wall offlining his optics. How much had he heard before they noticed him? For a moment he felt the heat of embarrassment rise in his internals. Then there was dread. Not only had he said things… things he'd never thought of voicing until the heat of the moment. But Tracks had said things that he knew would hurt the tactician. Perhaps he'd once agreed about the lack of emotion, but now he knew it wasn't true.

Now he wanted to reach through the wall and pulls the vocalizer right out of the pretty bot. Gritting dental plating together, he could hear Tracks shuffling on the other side of the wall, but there was no movement from the tactician that he could sense.

"So… this is the nature of the fight?" The tone was deceptively calm and smooth. Sunny just couldn't bring himself to look nor answer the other. "Speak up."

"Sorry, sir." Tracks mumbled rather bitterly and it made him want to beat the fragger that much more than before.

"Was this the argument that started it?"

Both went silent unwilling to answer. Sunny, more so than Tracks, couldn't bring himself to say anything at all. He'd not planned to let the strategist even have a clue as to what started the fight. It wouldn't have been so strange for him not to say anything. And Tracks didn't have the internals to fess up to bad mouthing the SIC like that.

"I see. If you have too much free time on your hands, Tracks, I can certainly find something for you to do." Clipped and precise, Prowl addressed the other warrior before turning audibly to face Sunny. "And for someone that was supposed to be recovering, you seem to be well enough to find something productive to do."

"Yes sir…" The sound was soft as he felt the urge to at least answer the tactician if anything.

"Look at me when I'm addressing you soldier."

Wincing, he lifted away from the wall and slowly turned to face the SIC as his optics came back online to look into the older's visage. His spark trembled in his chassis as he fought the urge to glance away. Prowl's gaze was steady as their optics met and he felt heavy at not being allowed to see what he was feeling.

"Because it was Prime's order for you to be off duty, I will not go against it, but if you slip up again, I will find things for you to do. And I assure you, you won't like them. You should consider using your time wisely. Maybe even putting the lessons I taught you to better use?"

"Yes sir." Nodding slowly, he couldn't help that his optics found the floor. It seemed to be enough though as Tracks was turned to with a sharp movement.

"As for you. I'll be assigning you a week of double shifts. That should help you with your time management." Even with the sharp directions, Prowl never allowed anger to enter his voice. It was simply smooth and stern. Many a mech took that to mean he felt nothing or didn't care. Sunstreaker was learning that it wasn't the case with each word. The less one heard in those words, the more it affected the tactician. "Sunstreaker. Ironhide will be down to collect you in a while to take you to med bay. When Ratchet is finished, you will be returned here. Then, you Tracks, will be next. You will not be released till tomorrow morning."

That was all he heard as the SIC swept from the brig without another word. His spark felt like it was sinking to the floor. Dropping back against the wall, he nearly began to slide to the floor along with it. He didn't regret what he'd done in defense of the strategist… but he did regret not being able to say more. He regretted that he had chosen a moment like that to make a realization.

Processing at a high rate of speed, his equilibrium tilted off balance as it all suddenly became terribly clear. But the pit would freeze over before he let Tracks have the credit of being responsible. Prowl… he really liked Prowl… Not just in a friend sort of way, but in a way he thought he'd felt for his brother. There was no placing how or when, just that it was. Shivering he placed a hand over his optics.

So… that was what it was all about. The problem now was… what would he do with the information he now held in his hand?

--+--

"What did you fight about?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying, Sunny…"

"What if I am, Sideswipe?"

"Why? What could Tracks say that would make you not want to tell me what happened? Seriously, Sunny…" Sideswipe all but grumbled in annoyance as he followed at the yellow mech's heels from the brig the next morning.

"Sides…" There was a hint of warning in his voice. All he wanted to do was get to his room and just hide away till he knew what to do. At the same time, he wanted to go see Prowl. He just… wanted to know. He had to know if the other was ok.

"Sunstreaker."

Stopping, he looked at his twin curiously. It wasn't often they didn't use nicknames. "Fine… Tracks came after me saying I was desperate for going after Prowl. Happy?" Turning sharply, he started to march off again.

"That little piece of slag! I would have punched his optics out, too!" Sides was walking hurriedly after him obviously not happy. There was an unspoken understanding between them. Perhaps it was their shared spark that made it so easy to just know… but Sides never pressed for more. "Are you ok, Sunny?"

He really couldn't answer that one. Stopping as they turned to their hall, his optics caught sight of the one mech he wanted to see and didn't want to see all at once. Prowl barely turned as he heard their approach. His optics were unreadable as one doorwing flicked gently.

"Prowl…"

"Sunstreaker. I see Ratchet didn't dismantle you."

"Not that he didn't try…" The soft mutter, was sidestepped as Prowl looked off down the hall quietly.

"Did you need something, sir?" Sideswipe queried from beside him causing Prowl to look back at them silently.

"I wanted to tell you to keep your distance from Tracks. To keep punishment equal I didn't do more than brig time. But I won't hesitate to lock the both of you up again." Ducking his head in a slight nod he moved away. "Enjoy the day… it looks like it will rain tomorrow."

Stunned and speechless, Sunstreaker watched the older walk away. It felt like someone had just reached into his spark chamber and ripped it apart. All of it was said so callously. It… felt so wrong coming from him.

"Sunny… what's going on?"

Shaking his head slowly, he placed a hand to his helm. Where had it all gone wrong? How could they get that far then it all shatter so quickly? Slowly turning to look at his twin, he felt almost sick. "Let's just go in… I'll tell you when we're inside…"

--+--

The next day when he'd found the ability to leave the room, Sideswipe continued to hover like a concerned mother hen. After much hesitation, he'd told the red Lamborghini all that happened and his twin had fallen into a somber silence. It didn't take a genius to see that his twin had already known what was going on in his spark before he did. It was both irritating and comforting to know his twin understood.

Now they quietly walked into the rec room. Blue looked up instantly and moved to his brother's side. The younger Datsun leaned in and spoke just loud enough for him and Sides to hear. "Bumblebee's been telling everyone that he caught Prowl and Sunny alone in the desert dancing. Is it true?"

What? Staring blankly at the confused gunner, Sunny felt his processor reel. So… that's the misconception that started all of this. Grumbling an excuse, he moved away from them to the bar to get a cube of energon. Well… this was turning out to be a disaster.

"Sunbot!" Cringing at that voice, he didn't bother to look at Jazz as he sat beside him. "So… how was brig time with Tracks?"

"Why don't you tell me? You seem to know everything."

"Easy there Sunstreaker…" His voice was calming and careful. "I may know a lot, but I don't know every thing. One thing I can't seem to figure out is why Prowl looks like he's been kicked around the Ark. Ya know… he's literally avoiding mechs that try to talk to him."

"Aren't you closest to him?" He couldn't help the growl in his tone as the jealousy reared its ugly head once again. Yes, he would admit that now. What was the point in denying it?

"In some ways, but not in the way you are."

"What the pit is that supposed to mean?"

Jazz chuckled and leaned on the counter surface thoughtfully. "Ya see… Prowler doesn't let things get to him much if he can help it. It's his job not t'get attached so he can do his job right. Mechs have been sayin' stuff for vorns, eons, and beyond about what a cold spark he is… But as a strategist, he can't let feelings get in the way. He don' take that too well though he doesn't say anythin'."

"… What are you getting at?"

"Prowler doesn't back down Sunny… and if he does… it'll be the first time you'll ever see him runnin' scared." The words were low and soft causing Sunny's optics to widen.

"What does he have to be afraid of?"

The Porsche chuckled. "He told me in vague what he walked in on in the brig. Now, criticism never bothered him before… so… why would it bother him this time?"

Sunstreaker gripped the cube tightly trying to understand what the special ops officer was trying to say. "I've not a clue…"

Sighing, the officer leaned back looking rather frustrated. "Don't let him run away. You'll be letting him down after he stopped you all those times from running." Patting him on the back gently, he rose from his seat. "Just think about it. I'm gonna go check the weather report. Been raining a while…"

Frowning to himself, he watched Jazz leave not acknowledging his brother's presence as he sat on his other side. "He meddles…"

"He means well, bro…"

"Well, he could be clearer about it. I don't know what the frag he was trying to get at." Huffing slightly, he turned his optics back to his energon cube. "Blue not attached at the hip? Did the pit freeze over?"

"Not funny, Sunshine. Seriously… what did he say?"

"Something about Prowl running away. I seriously don't see why he'd run from me unless he can't stand the idea of me…"

Silence fell between them until Sides ventured another question. "What will you do?"

"What can I do?"

"You could ask him…"

"So he can give me the cold shoulder again? No thanks, Sideswipe."

"Sunny… Tracks was on you about lowering your standards! What the frag is Prowl supposed to think? How would you feel if someone told Prowl that you weren't good enough for him?!" The harsh whisper may as well have been a shout the way it echoed in his processor. "Stop being stupid, Sunny."

His twin had a point… if it had been reversed, he would have put as much distance between Prowl and himself that he could. Frowning hard, he couldn't let it go. "Yeah, but I was defending him!"

"Prowl makes decisions for mechs constantly on the battlefield. He calculates what is best for them and wagers success. C'mon, Sunny!"

Dropping his head, he felt his processor whine at him for not seeing this fact. As close as he'd gotten to the mech, he still didn't understand everything about him. "Sides… I don't know what to do…. I've never…"

"Just talk to him. Be yourself… but if you don't…"

"I'll regret it."

"Exactly."

Looking up at his twin slowly, he gave him a small half smile. "I guess I'd better start trying out my courage…" Granted, he felt like he didn't have any left. Pulling in air through his intakes, he slid off his seat and turned. So, it was worth trying… because the thought of Prowl missing from his days made him ache all over.

Maybe he couldn't explain how or why, but he knew what was. It would have to do for now. That was why, with one more encouraging look from his twin, he was walking out of the rec room in search of the SIC.

Hallway after hallway was scoured after his office proved empty. When he finally found him, Prowl was standing with Optimus talking quietly. It was the Autobot leader that saw him first and lifted his head. Following the Prime's gaze, Prowl found Sunstreaker standing there and something flickered in his optics.

Before he could say anything, Prowl was already quickly walking away. Optimus seemed unfazed as he watched the Datsun leave. Only as he started to call his name and follow, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning sharply, he stared into the blue optics of Optimus Prime.

"Sunstreaker…"

"I need to talk to him."

"Do you know what you're getting into?" There was a protective edge to that voice that seemed to be probing his processors for an answer.

"I do, but I don't! What do you want from me?" Growling softly under his breath, he saw the large mech shift; his gaze heavily pinned on him.

"I want you to figure out what you want so you won't hurt him."

Realization hit him as he took this in. Staring in bewilderment he nearly barked at the other. "You purposely pulled him away from me both times, didn't you?"

Optimus looked off down the hall then answered without hesitation. "Yes."

"Why?!"

"Because you don't know what you wanted. Prowl has been to the pit and back never letting anyone close to him. He's a soldier, an officer that has only put his efforts into his job until he met you. Until I know what you plan to do, I don't think you should play with his emotions." The tone was soft, careful and stern all at the same time. It literally made him step back. The absolute protective demeanor both stunned him and made him angry all at once.

"He has a right to make his own decisions!"

"He's hurting, Sunstreaker."

"Then let me fix this!"

"Can you? Can you fix it if you don't know what you want?"

Silence filled the air as they glared at one another. Finally he offlined his optics and took a long breath. "I want him to be happy."

"Is that all?"

"I don't want to lose him."

"Why?"

"Frag it, Prime! That's none of your business!"

"Answer the question."

"Because! Because…"

Sighing heavily, Optimus stood back and shook his head. Looking one more time at him, Sunstreaker felt the debate in that great mind before he finally spoke. "Go find him. I'll make sure no one interrupts you."

"Thank you, sir…" With that he didn't think twice before he turned and ran in the direction Prowl had gone.

--+--

The Ark had shown no sign of Prowl. He'd searched everywhere he could ignoring every call of his name and query of his doings. All he could think about was that one mech he just had to find. If he was nowhere inside, that meant that he was outside… and it was pouring down rain.

Gritting his dental plating together, he trudged through the mud and cold downpour in search of the SIC. He was about to just give up hope and plop down in the rain until he saw the silhouette standing head tilted back to look up at the sky. Doorwings hung low on his back and his optics were offline.

Moving closer, his spark jumped at the slumped posture and the absolute sense of defeat that came with that stance. It made his spark clutch in his chassis. "Prowl…"

Jerking at the sound of his name, dim blue optics turned to Sunstreaker and he started to take a step back. Before the Datsun could move away, he already had a hold of one of the Prowl's arms keeping him in place.

"Why are you running from me?"

"I'm not running…"

"Don't lie to me! You're a terrible liar!"

"Sunny…"

"I know you heard what we were saying…"

Prowl shifted, but he didn't try to pull away. He seemed to be weighing his words before he finally spoke softly. "We don't match. I'm not… It wouldn't work. You're nothing like me. Tracks…"

"Is a fraggin' glitch, Prowl! He doesn't know what he's talking about!"

"Don't… don't be illogical."

He let go of the elder's arm and felt his shoulders slump. "Prowl. Logic doesn't apply here…"

"We don't fit! I can't make you…"

"Stop it, Prowl! You're being stupid!"

Both stood in silence as the black and white mech seemed to pull away even though he hadn't moved. "Sunny… you could do…"

Before he could finish, Sunny moved closer and dipped his head down to press their foreheads together. Lifting his hands slowly, he placed them on Prowl's cheeks and let out a soft sigh. "Don't say it… besides… I think I get to decide who I do and don't deserve."

"Always the assertive one."

"It's just an act."

Prowl chuckled softly and didn't move from the soft contact. "I'm an officer…"

"And I'm a warrior, so what…"

From the way Prowl's neck tensed, he knew the other wanted to shake his head but he didn't. Neither wanted to break the contact just yet. "Why are you so incorrigible?"

"I'll go away if you tell me to…"

Silence fell over them and slowly he began to wonder if Prowl was going to really tell him that. Concern and fear ran through his system like the cold water that was sliding over sensitive dermal plating. Watching that conflicted gaze that fought to stay stoic, he let his gaze follow the tracks of rain that slid down Prowl's face like tears. Prowl didn't cry… but for a moment, he wondered if the SIC wanted to. Before he could muse any longer, he felt two arms rise tentatively to finally wrap about his waist.

"Does this mean I can stay?"

"Don't leave…"

"I won't…" Sliding one hand to the back of Prowl's head the other hand slid down to his neck gently. He'd stand there forever if he had to… he wanted to.

_You'd teach me of honest things  
Things that were daring, things that were clean  
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean  
So I hid my soiled hands behind my back  
Somewhere along the line I must've gone off track with you_

-Finé-


	16. I Can Live With That

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG

**Notes:** I've been sick, so this is very slow in coming. I'm sorry if people are eagerly anticipating my updates. Work got crazy on top of that, so motivation to move is low. I hope you enjoy this addition! The last scene in Prowl's office is partly due to the help of Chibi! She helped write it, in fact she wrote it… I just touched it up. –Laughs- Lots of love for Sunny/Prowl, Sides/Blue, and Hide/Ratchet. Special thanks to Okami-chan for going over this for me. -Heart-

**Warnings: **Misdirected rage and irritation. But I'll work it out. XD

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "The Reason" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Hoobastank and HasTak respectively.

_I'm not a perfect person  
There's many things I wish I didn't do  
But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know_

_I've found out a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you…_

-The Reason by Hoobastank-

There were some days you wished would never end. In contrast, and more likely for him, there were days he wished he'd never come out of recharge. The night before was a night he'd wanted to prolong, but the next morning was something he could do with out. In fact, he was biding his time for that moment of escape where he could make a run for his room. Unfortunately, Primus and the entire Ark seemed to be against his escaping from the group of mechs crowding about him.

"So it's true?"

"What?"

"Don't be so grumpy, Sunstreaker! Just tell us! Was Bumblebee lying? Were you dancing with Prowl in the desert?"

"What?!"

"Were you?"

"No!"

"So you aren't together?"

"I didn't say…"

"You are together, then!"

Sunstreaker had long since stopped trying to distinguish who was talking. Rubbing at his optics, he growled in irritation. It was like a minibot infestation mixed with a few mechs… Bluestreak being one of them. "Why are you guys bugging me? Don't you have something else to do?"

"You really are together?" No one seemed to be listening. And that voice was the perfect equivalent of a kicked puppy as he looked at Blue. "But… I never would have even guessed… you and Prowl? How?"

"I can't believe it! Why would Prowl of all mechs want someone as dense as you?" Gears snorted from somewhere in the mini mob and was quickly silenced as Blue thumped him on the helm. "What? You know it's true!"

"All of you, go away!"

"How long have you been together?"

"Are any of you listening to me?"

"Sunny! You could've said something! Does Sides know?"

"Obviously not." Growling under his breath, he wondered if ignoring them would make them go away. He didn't know which was more annoying, the minibots or Blue for not noticing the possibility on his own.

"You know, Siders, he's not too bright." That voice caused his head to jerk upward and pin on the black and white special ops officer that was snickering. None of the crowd but he and his brother seemed to be paying attention. It was probably because they weren't crowding the sunshine yellow mech for answers. Sideswipe merely shrugged his shoulders sheepishly.

"What can I say? I like them none too bright."

That made Sunny smirk. To make it even more entertaining, Blue was so intent on getting him to answer his question, he didn't realize that Jazz and Sides were talking about him. "Well, sure is crowded over here."

"Yeah… Sunny!" Yelling over the crowd of bots, Sideswipe pointed to a table on the opposite side of the rec room smirking. "Good luck!" Waving, he and Jazz moved away leaving him to his doom. He swore, he would kill that red hellion next he got his hands on him…

"Sell out."

"What was that, Sunny?"

"You didn't answer my question!"

"Maybe I don't want to!"

There was a sudden silence as they all looked at Sunstreaker with gaping mouths. It was the first time they had bothered to really look at him for more than a second between arguing amongst themselves. Sadly, it didn't last long. "C'mon Sunstreaker, this isn't something you want to leave to rumor."

"What happens between Prowl and I should stay there!"

"You seriously can't have us believe that Prowl would pick you." Gears grunted out at him causing Bluestreak to glare.

"What's that supposed to mean? Sunny's quite a catch!"

"Looks don't count!"

"There's more to him than looks! He's got plenty other mechs that admire him!"

"Who? Like Tracks? Now there's a match made in the Matrix." Gears scoffed and Huffer began to laugh next to him. Eventually a few nods followed along with laughter. It only served to make Sunny that much angrier. Turning to the minibot with narrowed optics, he was just about to growl out a retort when loud stomping drew all attention to the rec room entrance.

At first he was irritated further, but what he saw left his processor's stuttering. Nothing in all his life prepared him for this particular display. Standing there in the entry way was Prowl, optics flaring and doorwings poised rigidly. Every nuance of his posture spoke of anger… when did Prowl ever look angry? Watching the SIC turn his head; he nearly choked at the one voice that broke the silence.

"Primus! What smells like it died?!" All optics turned to his twin whose table happened to be near the door. In the same moment that they all looked at his twin, Prowl turned and marched over to him. "Slag, Prowl! Is that you?"

Rising to his feet, he was already moving through the small crowd rather roughly trying to catch the words of the Datsun as he grounded out each word to his twin. "Don't… coy… Sideswipe!"

Sunny frowned as he couldn't seem to catch all the words. Moving even closer, he'd just made it to the general vicinity when he got the scent. Coming to a complete stop, he nearly gagged. "What the frag?!"

Prowl twitched as he looked from Sideswipe to Sunny in one motion. "Why don't you ask your brother?"

All gazes were slowly moving from one twin to the other before going back to Prowl. As curious as they all seemed to be, none wanted to move any closer because of the smell that seemed to be coming from the SIC. Sunstreaker, by habit, looked to his brother curiously. Sideswipe held his hands up in panicked defense. "I don't have a clue! Why would I know, Prowl?"

"Who else has a sports car alt form and plays pranks on officers?!"

Silence followed the elder mech as many seemed to agree with that question. It was purely logic. But that didn't mean he had to let his twin get beat down with out proof that he'd done it. Frowning, he hesitated to say anything. This wasn't a simple situation of defending his twin, though. This also involved Prowl. Luckily, Jazz wasn't as torn.

"Whoa there, Prowler. Try tellin' us what happened first, fore you accuse Sides."

Prowl quivered in anger, but kept up the calm tone. It was rather surprising to see. The SIC rarely showed any emotion, and the fact that he was, and not losing it, rather impressed the yellow warrior. Not that he wanted to move any closer. That smell was rank to say the least.

"I was out running an errand in the human city." It was obvious that he was straining his vocalizer to stay calm. "When human children decided to throw water balloons at me." There was a long silence as those watching tried to see how this indicated Sideswipe. Sunny was starting to wonder as well. "Imagine my surprise when they only threw them at my windshield. I thought maybe they were just being childish… until my olfactory sensors…" His vocalizer cracked before he offlined his optics and tried again. "I managed to _detain _them for questioning. All they were willing to say was that an Autobot asked them to do it."

The Datsun calmly twitched a doorwing and turned back to Sides. "It seems they weren't old enough to tell me a model… but they were able to tell me it was a sportscar…"

"Hold it there, Prowl! I didn't do it! I haven't left the base all day! Just ask Blue, Jazz, and Sunny! I've been here!" Sideswipe looked almost desperate to prove the strategist wrong. Sunstreaker believed him. Though all evidence seemed to point at his brother, he knew him well enough to know this wasn't his fault. Sides was always calm about his pranks. He never over reacted and he certainly didn't beg Prowl to be reasonable…

Prowl snorted at this, and moved to point at Sideswipe only to have him waylaid by Jazz. "C'mon Prowler… lets get you to…" Choking, the Porsche waved a hand in the air and leaned back slightly. "Could you stand down wind, buddy?"

It served to make the Datsun narrow his optics, flick a doorwing and turn on his heel. "Believe me… I'll settle this later."

Jazz stood there drawing pure air into his intakes before trotting after Prowl. "Calm down, buddy! Ratchet will… Whoa! Don't look at me like that!"

Their voices trailed off leaving the rec room in total silence. Sunstreaker felt the pull of two forces. One part of him wanted to follow after Prowl, the other wanted to comfort his twin. It wasn't until someone finally spoke, that Sunny acted.

"Bet'cha his brother wanted to scare him off." That was all Gears said before Sunny's fist made contact with his helm knocking him on his aft with a yelp. "What the slag! What was that for?!"

"My brother didn't do it, so shut it!"

"What makes you so sure?! Or were you in on it? Trying to ruin Prowl?"

"Why you fraggin' pit spawn!" He was already en route to tear the minibot a new one when someone grabbed him from behind. "Let me go! He deserves the aft beating I'm about hand him!"

"Let it go, Sunny…" Calming instantly at the sound of his twin's voice, he focused on glaring at the minibot. "Thanks anyway…"

"You didn't do it!"

"I know I didn't! But beating the pit out of another Autobot won't prove anything!" Snorting angrily, he relaxed and Sides let him stand on his own. "I'll be all right… go make sure Prowl doesn't break something internally…"

Looking at his twin, he knew the other was smiling for his benefit. Sideswipe rarely let things get to him, but this really was doing a number on the other. Wheeling on the younger Datsun at his side he pointed at him and growled. "Keep an eye on him."

Blue nodded at a fast rate, but he didn't wait for a vocal answer, he was already following that trail of scent to med bay. What the frag was that smell anyway?

--+--

"Man… a skunk?"

"Yes… from my analysis, this is the warning smell from the animal humans call a skunk." The voice was clipped and professional as the medic answered Jazz's questioning tone. "I'll have to do research on how to quell the scent, it isn't easily removed. Since it's in the air vents, it makes things even harder."

"Don't th'humans have any methods or what not?"

"Well… I read that humans bathe their canine in tomato juice when they come in contact with the substance." Sunny had long stopped out of view just outside med bay not quite sure of himself. He didn't want to just walk in. He still felt odd exercising a right to even be concerned about the Datsun.

"Acidic…" Finally hearing Prowl's voice, he noted that gloomy note with a wince. Bathing machinery in tomatoes wasn't exactly the best idea for them.

"It should be ok going through the ventilation system… at least… most of it." Ratchet sounded less than pleased. "I will have to look into it to be honest…" There was a halt in his words before his voice took on an irritated edge. "How did this happen again?"

"Whoa! Easy Prowl, lower the doorwings…" Jazz interjected quickly and Sunny felt irritated that it was the Porsche that seemed so easy with assisting the strategist where he was hiding outside. "Ya see Ratchet, it was a prank… Stop, Ratchet! Don't jump to conclusions!"

"There's no jumping to it, Jazz! You know that slaggin' Lamborghini did it!" Sunstreaker heard Jazz sigh in frustration and had to feel a little sorry for him. It wasn't easy to defend Sideswipe in a situation like that.

"Look man, we don't know who did it. I mean, ya don't even know what color the car was, Prowler!" There was a long pause, and Sunny imagined the look of thoughtfulness on the Datsun's face. "See? You forgot to ask cause you were so sure you knew who it was. And! Siders had a point; he's been with me, Sunny, and Blue for the last few days."

"So… are you saying this isn't Sideswipe's fault?" Ratchet sounded skeptical as he questioned the Special Ops officer.

"Tha's exactly what I'm sayin'."

"What other sportscar would pull a prank on me, Jazz? You?" There was a flat tone in that voice, and Sunny found himself leaning forward to see the look on Prowl's face. Catching sight of Prowl's profile, he could see that dry expression clearly as he stared at the Porsche in disbelief. Jazz's back was to him and Ratchet was busy running diagnostics on Prowl.

"Where, I'd like to say this is genius and stuff, I wouldn't go this route." Snickering, he waved a hand in the air at Prowl: "Cause I still have to work with you and that smell is down righ' offensive."

Prowl's lips pressed into a tight straight line as he literally glared at Jazz. Sunstreaker suddenly felt relieved he'd never earned that look from the SIC. Prowl never looked that irritated at him. "Thanks… buddy." The tone was flat and literally acidic.

"Anytime, Prowlie!"

"Need I remind you that…" His doorwings flared angrily and Jazz leaned back from the stir of the scent in the air. "I don't like that nickname?"

"Ugh… calm down Prowl. Don't stir th'smell up. It's noxious!"

"Sunny…" Jazz stopped his antics of fanning the air away as Prowl's face smoothed out and he turned just enough to look at the yellow mech peering about the corner. "You can come in. Unless you're hiding from the smell."

"Ah…" Jumping slightly at being noticed, he hedged and shook his head. "No… s'not that. Can just shut down the olfactory sensors…"

There was a very faint smile on Prowl's lips that faded as he glared at Jazz. "Why don't you do the same or leave?"

"You're so cold, Prowler! I'm just here to show my endurance for a friend!" Moving slowly into the med bay, he noticed the unnatural silence of Ratchet who only briefly glanced at him and went back to work.

"Endurance or annoyance?"

"What will I get for being honest and saying both?" A doorwing twitched at Jazz's proclamation as Sunny stepped up quietly behind the tactician. "Sunny won't endure the smell like I will!"

"No… it seems he has a processor where you seem to be without." A hand went over Jazz's spark chamber as he feigned a look of hurt. "Don't over do it on my account." Replying to the action dryly he turned his head to Sunny and watched him silently.

Shifting from foot to foot, he could almost swear those sky blue optics were analyzing him all the way down to his lazer core. Looking away, he felt so many urges to speak all leading in different directions. None of those directions seemed like good courses of action at the moment. "So, Sunshine! Come to check on your beau?"

Through the snickering from the Porsche, he caught the tensing from Ratchet in the corner of his eyes. Prowl on the other hand didn't even react. One of these days, he would ask the tactician to teach him to stay that calm.

"You don't think he did it, do you?" Prowl returned his attention to Sunny.

It was his turn to tense up. There was no accusation in that tone. It wasn't even a question. It stood simply as an observation on his own thoughts. Mutely nodding his head, he weighed the outcomes of this conversation and he felt a nagging worry about that aforementioned tentative relationship. "Prowl… my brother does stupid things… but…"

"But?" Prowl's optic ridge rose before he turned to look away. Still, there was no anger, simply a serene sound encouraging him to go on.

"No fair, Prowl! Why the nice calm guy for Sunny when ya've been chewin' my aft off?!" Sunny looked at the scandalized Special Ops officer but looked back at Prowl as he spoke.

"What are your thoughts, Sunny?" Jazz nearly huffed like a dramatic child for being brushed off by the tactician. The warrior almost smirked in amusement, but thought better of it as he answered the SIC.

"I know him… he wouldn't do that to _me_."

Prowl sat silently there and finally turned to look at a wall as though considering this, but looking unconvinced. "And why wouldn't he?"

Sunstreaker was suddenly amazed at the question and that small biting edge to it. What on earth was upsetting Prowl about that answer? "That's a stupid question, Prowl! And he wouldn't be begging you to be reasonable if he'd done it! You should know that!"

The Datsun's back stiffened. Not turning to look at Sunstreaker, he noticed how the tactician easily moved his attention to Ratchet. "What do you think, Ratchet? Can you get rid of the smell?" Suddenly he knew how Jazz felt when he was ignored.

What was it that seemed to get the other so defensive when Sideswipe was mentioned? Frustration crackled through his systems as he dug for a logical reason as to why Prowl would be so intent on believing it was Sideswipe. In the past, he never truly pushed any of the persecutions against the red warrior. In truth, Prowl was always easy to let Sides off in the past just as he always had been with him. Others didn't see it that way, but the twins were never blind to the way he maintained fairness with them.

"It'll take a while, but I think I can manage to get rid of it. You'll be here a long stretch…" There was a long sigh from the tactician. "No arguing, Prowl. Work can wait till I'm finished with you." Sternly reprimanding him, he sent Jazz a sharp look. "Why don't you go handle some of his lighter work? I think you're well enough to handle desk work."

"Aw man! Ratch! I dun like the paperwork!" The whine in his vocalizer quickly silenced as that glint entered Ratchet's optics. "Sheesh… better thank me later Prowler." Grumbling in over dramatization, he marched off with unreasonable noisiness.

"Thank you, Ratchet."

"Of course, Prowl."

Dropping his head, Sunny felt no reasonable answer to any of it. The last thing he wanted was to have Prowl and Sideswipe at odds. Gritting dental plating together, he found he just didn't know what to say. That was when he felt that soft touch sliding over his shoulder to brace against the back of his neck. "Don't worry about it."

"But what am I not worrying about?" Unconsciously leaning closer, he felt his helm brush a doorwing. There was bitterness in his tone, but he still wanted to be closer to the other. "You're ready to slam the book at my twin."

Prowl's fingers twitched against the sensitive wiring and he could feel in that simple gesture that Prowl was arguing with himself. "I'll talk to him again… reasonably."

"…Prowl… I don't…" He wanted so badly to explain that he wasn't choosing a side. Prowl was right to be angry, but Sideswipe had a right to speak his peace. But how to say that? It felt like no matter which way he went, there was that risk of upsetting the balance.

"It's fine, Sunny. Don't worry about it."

"You say that a lot." Lifting his head, he saw that soft tired smile on Prowl's face and felt himself relax only to straighten. "Have you been recharging?"

Looking a touch surprised, the black and white mech turned his optics to meet his own. "I couldn't manage to fall into a proper cycle last night."

This made him suddenly smile in return. "Funny, I was dead to the world according to my brother."

Prowl only chuckled and shook his head. "I wish I could shut down like that then."

"What are you worrying about?" It wasn't like him to make such a connection. Sunny didn't normally care enough to even attempt to make that sort of a connection. But with Prowl, he found himself suddenly analyzing how he worked and reacted to things. With Sideswipe, he just always knew what the other was thinking with that bond between them as twins. With Prowl, he was having to learn to pay attention.

The sub commander was quiet at this and seemed reluctant to answer. Finally shaking his head, he swept a thumb idly over Sunstreaker's helm causing tingles of electricity to skip through his sensors. "And you're not worried?"

"Maybe…" Furrowing his brow he glanced off to the side. "But I was more relieved last night than worried."

"I see."

"You weren't?"

"Is it possible… to be both?"

"Isn't that illogical?"

"Enough!" Ratchet straightened pointing at Sunstreaker with that gleam of danger in his optics. "If you make his logic center freeze up, I'll reformat you into a human female's curling iron! I'm going to go make the mixture to clean out his ventilation system… if he's not functional when I come back; you'd better not be in reach." Growling in irritation he pointed to Prowl. "You. Stay here and don't leave."

Both watched the medic leave for his office with wide optics. For a moment neither spoke, until Prowl suddenly gave a very soft low chuckle. "It certainly would be problematic for me, with you as a curling iron."

"That's not happening!" Grumbling loudly, he suddenly moved to sink onto the berth beside Prowl.

"Then we'll leave that conversation for another time."

"Fine." Leaning into the slightly smaller mech's side, he offlined his optics. Prowl simply slid an arm about his waist sending tingles through him. Why did such simple touches drive him to such strong sensations? It was almost alarming. Lowering his tone, he felt afraid to even voice it. "Why do you suddenly hate Sides?"

Prowl stiffened at this not all that quick to reply. "I don't hate him."

"Then what's the fraggin' problem?" The bite wasn't in the words, but there was a hint of desperation that he allowed to seep through.

"I think… it can't be helped…"

"Why?"

"I…" Prowl tripped over the simple word and lowered his head. "I just don't hate him."

Turning in that slight embrace he pushed a hand under Prowl's chin and forced him to look at him. It wasn't a rough movement; in fact, the gentle touch caused Prowl's optics to flicker softly in surprise. "You're giving me a pit of a time trying to figure out what to do here."

Lips pressed together in thought, before Prowl's gaze seemed to slowly melt with frustration. "You're always going to defend him."

At first he wanted to retort angrily, but he made himself stop and actually think about what the other was saying. Something he was learning fast was that Prowl never said things without meaning more. Dimming his optics, he shook his head. So that was what he was afraid of. "He's my twin. I probably will. But I'll be the first to knock him offline if he hurts you intentionally. But he won't, Prowl. He just won't. Can't I care about both of you?"

Optics dimmed to match his own as Prowl suddenly moved to place his hands on the sides of the vents on his helm. The touch made him shiver and almost shut down his optics again to steady the whirl of his processors.

"Yes. I'm sorry." The tactician spoke at barely a whisper.

"Don't be." It was a tone that shrugged it off, but in truth, he just couldn't focus as Prowl moved closer. His processes were stuttering through thoughts as the SIC drifted closer slowly.

Sunstreaker found his gaze drifting to Prowl's lips tentatively and felt his spark jump in his chassis. Why did he suddenly feel like a little child? Perhaps that wasn't the best explanation… more like the human term 'blushing virgin'. It was hard to even cycle that phrase much less apply it to himself. "Prowl..?"

"May I?" They were so close, close enough to touch their noses together if either moved even a little. Sunny felt like his entire field was rippling with static waiting for that shock that came with touching. Only Prowl would ask to do something like this….

"Idiot." Smirking slightly, the term was done affectionately as he took that final brave step pressing their lips together softly at first. It felt like his spark was about to implode from such a chaste and simple contact. The built up energy suddenly released and he wanted to press closer to the other. This wasn't enough… he wanted more.

Sadly, Primus really hated him today.

"NOT IN MY MED BAY!"

Jumping a part, they stared at each other with surprise in their optics. "Ah.. slag." Sunny Growled in a whisper dropping his head. Prowl was already straightening and facing forward at attention. Why on this Primus forsaken planet… did he fall for the most rule abiding mech in the universe? Why?

--+--

"So… you talked to him?"

"Yeah." There was a defeated quality to the red warrior's voice.

"What? He still thinks you did it?" Sunny frowned hard. He thought he'd gotten through to the SIC enough to at least be reasonable…

"No… he doesn't."

"What?" Staring at his brother stunned, he tried to comprehend how that was a bad thing.

"I sorta spilled about what we did to Red Alert…"

Instantly he hit a yellow hand to his helm and slid it down over his optics. "Stupid glitch… you ratted us out."

"I didn't mean to! I told him that I thought it was highly unfair that he was accusing me so adamantly of something I didn't do. That if he wanted to do that, at least find something I really did… you know…"

"And you mentioned the dye. Brilliant. My brother is an idiot."

"What?! It just slipped out!" Sideswipe flailed about in anger, but Sunny could tell that he was still relieved.

"Well, if nothing else, it probably saved you from this situation." Shrugging his shoulders, he rounded a familiar corner noticing his brother hesitate.

"Sunny…"

Stopping, he looked at his twin who had stopped before him. "What?"

"I want to know who did that… the timing… it's too… you know."

Narrowing his optics, he faced the red mech completely. "Too close to he and I working it out?"

"Yeah… and I want to know if it's connected. Everyone knows I'm the one that pulls pranks. I think they wanted to pin it off on me." Sides frowned deeply, but it caused Sunny's processors to kick in. His brother… had a point.

"You think someone wants to break up Prowl and I? Is that what you're saying?"

"It's a thought… but I want to prove it."

"Why?" He didn't know why he asked that, but there was something in his twin's demeanor that told him that there was more than just a protective brother.

"Well… I like Prowl."

"What?" This time he focused full attention on Sideswipe who raised his hands in defense and took a step back.

"Calm down, Sunshine! Seriously! Just listen…" Calming himself, he looked at the floor as he spoke. "You know… I could hear everything he said… Even before you paid attention to him. He's a great mech… ya know? I probably wouldn't have been quite so mean to him before in my pranking had I known…. I just…I don't want it to happen again to him."

"Do what you want, Sides. I don't think anyone really cares enough about what I do to target Prowl… but if you find out there is… I'll beat the microchips right out of the fragger." Growling softly, he turned to keep walking.

"Sunny… are you heading to Prowl's office?"

"Yeah…" At his hesitant reply, he could hear the chuckling behind him. Stopping in mid step, he whirled about to glare at his twin. "What the slag are you laughing at you glitch?!"

"You! It's… it's too cute. Have fun sunflower!" The voice was singsong as Sides quickly back pedaled from his twin before turning and jogging off. He knew it was because he wanted to stay in one piece.

Snorting, he kept walking until he stopped at Prowl's door. Pushing the conversation with Sides aside, he stared at the door and remembered that soft kiss. He'd been itching to catch the officer alone all day since. That was why he decided to find him for their scheduled hour of meeting. It wasn't the first time he was eager, but this time, his spark all but skipped about his chassis. There really was something wrong with him.

Finally hitting the chime, he waited for the reply. "Yes?"

"Can I come in?"

"Of course." Grinning lightly, he keyed the door open and walked in. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew there was a slight spring in his gait as he sat in the chair across from the Datsun that was studying a datapad. Only, he could tell that Prowl was having trouble concentrating by the way his doorwings twitched.

"So… doc, what is it this time? Separation anxiety? Hypomania? ... With histrionic tendencies?" His tone was almost teasing as he leaned back in the chair watching the strategist as he slowly set the datapad down.

"You've been talking to Ratchet in your off time." The simple reply wasn't a question.

"Well with you always doing more work than necessary added on to today's events and Sides being pukeingly lovey dovey with Blue, I decided to do something productive with my time for a change."

Prowl gave the smallest hint of a warm smile that he promptly and subtly changed to an expression of serene neutrality.

"Sunny, I'm afraid I'm going to have to cancel our sessions starting today."

"Eh?!" His spark seemed to collapse in his chassis at those simply stated words. What had he done wrong?

"Due to the recent change in our... relationship, continuing would be a conflict of interest for me, and-" The tone once more sounded completely neutral and matter of fact causing him to almost growl at the SIC in response.

"Hold on! I already get very little time to spend with you as it is! Now you want to take the one time we can use as official together time? Why are you deciding to go all slaggin' Officer Freud on me!?" The frustration was obvious in his voice. The prior excitement was quickly dwindling as he began again, the disappointment bleeding through in the form of anger. "Well you know what, Prowl? Why don't you just-"

Prowl began a near undetectable and slow devious smile during this rant before he interrupted the younger mech gently. "It would be more logical if I use that time as well as _some _of the off time I am scheduled to take, to go on outings with you."

"…What?" Sunny's anger died away in one flash of an instant as his optics stared widely at his commanding officer.

"I believe the humans call it dating." It was in that moment, that Sunny felt the butterfly like feelings in his chassis followed by a soft chuckle leaving his vocalizer. The mixture of relief and anticipation was a welcomed feeling. Yeah, he could deal with 'dating'.

_I've found a reason to show  
A side of me you didn't know  
A reason for all that I do  
And the reason is you_

-Finé-


	17. Eye of the Beholder

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG-13! For um… I'll let you guess.

**Notes:** Here we go again… and I think I might live. Maybe. I'm sure you're all just hoping I'll write though. XD Either way, this piece will be done from PROWL'S POV. I caps that cause I don't want anyone to be confused. I needed to make this switch for plot's sake. I hope no one will object. Thanks to Okami-chan and Chibi-kun for being my sounding walls for working out my ideas! (Special thanks to Okami-chan for being my beta! She's been a big help. –heart-) Sunny/Prowl, Sides/Blue, Ratchet/Ironhide…

**Warnings: **Evil and cruel devices of my mind. But you knew that.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "All You Wanted" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Michelle Branch and HasTak respectively.

_I didn't know that it was so cold  
And you needed someone  
to show you the way  
So I took your hand and we figured out  
That when the time comes  
I'd take you away…_

-All You Wanted by Michelle Branch-

Years of careful planning, studying, and making the path clear to understanding prepared him for almost everything. Frivolity was something foregone; necessity was the only concern. This was not only seen in accommodations, but also in the manner in which he dealt with people. Friends were a necessity. Comrades were as well. Love wasn't his main concern. There were too many wayward probabilities and things that could not be explained with logic alone.

For a logical being, the idea was insane to entertain. He wasn't programmed to take the risk to live through emotions. If it couldn't be explained through fact and logic, then it wasn't explained at all and logically ignored. The ramifications of taking on the illogical usually landed him in med bay.

So how had it happened? Why was he here in this moment doing things that were frivolous and feeling things that he couldn't reason out?

Soapy water rushed just hard enough on his dermal plating to break away dirt but not cause any harm. It overwhelmed his senses drawing him out of his thoughts. Brushes that were softer than expected whirled about him with a metallic whine that served as background noise to his thoughts. Though, there was a greater force of distraction just in front of him in the spray of clean scent and the flurry of brushes. In the haze of moisture was the glow of red tail lights set in the rear of the elegant body style of a yellow Lamborghini Countach.

For the longest time he'd heard the other talk about the sleek design and aerodynamics of his alt form, but he'd only recently stopped to notice it. Beauty wasn't something he dwelled on, in fact, unless it was art, he had a tendency not to see it. The only reason he saw art… well… it was something he'd taught himself to see for the one in front of him.

Silence had fallen between them ever since he'd led them to the car wash in Seattle. It was obvious that Sunstreaker never would have thought he would feed that vanity in him, but Prowl honestly knew no other way to compliment him appropriately. It took long thought and consideration in the last three days since he'd ended their sessions. In truth, if he'd taken any longer, Sunny probably would have finally lost it. Sunstreaker wasn't exactly patient.

_'This is really high quality…'_ The sound of the Lamborghini's voice over the private comm brought him out of his thoughts. That tone seemed almost too hesitant to be thankful.

_'I don't believe something inexpensive and cheap would be very complimentary.'_

The sound of an amused chuckle filled his processor through the comm. _'Right… I guess not. S'great, Copper.'_

_'You're welcome.'_

Silence followed, but he figured it was more because the conveyor belt had carried them into the section where warm air blasted over their forms. The description of the product had stated it was to ensure that the paint was spot free. It was a nice feeling, he admitted it… But his visual receiving focused on the harried trails of water as they chased down the perfect yellow finish. The rivulets on streamline design were fascinating… distracting. His line of processing nearly skipped as he wondered what it felt like to run fingertips smoothly over those planes of metal.

Yes, maybe he could see some purpose for the Lamborghini design.

When every trace of water had vanished from Sunstreaker's form, the conveyor moved them forward forcing him to realize that he was also dry. But the thought remained only an astrosecond as the warrior's sleek form emerged from the wash. Sunlight poured over Sunstreaker like liquid gold sparkling with white light.

_'So… what next, Mr. Officer?' _

Forced from his reverie unexpectedly, he noted that mellow tone as the humans worked the final detailing talking about the make and body of one of his strongest front liners. The material used to sweep over the frame of the yellow sports car, he recalled, was to ensure nothing was left behind. But even though he logically understood the mechanics of the process, something tightened in his spark and he had to force himself not to think about it. _'Next?'_

_'Oh? That was all you had planned?' _Was that disappointment?

Running it through his processor, it dawned on him what the other was talking about. One of the reasons he disliked being drawn by emotions was the way it seemed to keep him off tasks if he didn't keep it reigned in. _'There is another place I want to go…'_

_'But you're not going to tell me.' _It wasn't a question, but he could almost picture that smirk on the warrior's face as he said it.

_'No. I'm not.'_

_'Fine fine.' _He highly suspected that the mellow way Sunstreaker gave into his whims was solely because the humans were now carefully cleaning his upholstery and smoothing Armor All onto his dash. If he'd been paying attention, he would have realized he was receiving the same treatment… but it seemed he was paying more attention to what they were doing to the Lamborghini.

As the humans finished, he turned his attention to the one addressing him with great difficulty. "Thanks for using our service, Prowl! I received payment already, you two can go unless you need anything else!"

"Nothing else is required. I thank you for your services." Answering softly, he noted the man's boisterous tone as he smiled brightly. If anything, he was the cheerful sort, and his crew seemed extremely intent on staring at Sunstreaker.

"You've got great taste picking a Lamborghini for your disguise!"

"No kidding! I never thought I'd get to detail a Lamborghini! Much less an Autobot." The young men laughed and practically fawned over the young warrior causing Prowl to almost miss the man still speaking to him.

"Isn't that the one that gets in to trouble now and again with the red one?"

"Ah… it probably is." The reply was soft as he realized how much the humans were probably inflating the other's ego with their praise.

"Odd way to deal with him, don'tcha think?" The comment snapped him to attention, and something in his spark clenched as he fought the urge to rise to Sunstreaker's defense. The twins were known for their less than law abiding habits, he couldn't blame the human for that.

"It's… recreational time for us." That was as simple as he could get in his reply. "Thank you again." With out waiting for a reply, his engine gave a smooth rumble as it came to life. As the humans backed away, he rolled slowly up beside his… His line of thought halted a moment and he quickly shoved it into a back storage in his RAM sure that it would just slip away. "Ready to go?"

"Sure." Sunny answered in an upbeat tone that reassured him. There was no hesitation as his engine literally purred to life. The sound bounced off of him and vibrated against his side causing his entire form to quiver on his wheels. Even now he hated admitting what the younger did to him.

"Follow me."

"Like I'd turn down a police escort."

Had he been in his bipedal form, he would have simply shook his head. Rather, he slipped into gear and pulled from the parking lot with Sunny close in his wake. As they moved through the streets of Seattle, he felt his rear sensors ripple with the extreme proximity of the yellow sports car.

_'Sunny… you're tailgating.'_

_'So? You're going slow.'_

Internally he smirked. Only Sunstreaker would use that excuse to drive that closely. _'I'd rather not explain to the local authorities why I of all the Autobots...'_

_'Seriously Prowl. Lighten up.' _Sunny cut him off in amusement before going on. _'You seriously need to get out more.'_

Prowl merely chuckled quietly into the comm. and didn't answer. It was simpler not to engage the other when he thought he was right. It had taken him eons to figure this out about the younger. Sometimes he wondered how they were able to handle each other… Yet, over time they proved they could handle one another and it simply worked out. Only, as he pulled up to a light, he nearly felt electricity sting his sensory receptors as Sunny tapped his bumper. The fan in his engine kicked in fast and hard with a hiss. _'Sunstreaker. I mean it… you need to stop tailgating.' _

_'Are we there yet?' _He'd been ignored, and he knew it.

_'Almost…'_

_'Good.' _

Sunstreaker was incorrigible. Heaving a quiet sigh, he pressed on as the light turned green. As they slid down the streets, people lined the streets heading in the same direction they were. He knew it meant they were close. Finally reaching the area of town near a large park he slowed to stop. Stands lined the streets with different items on display. Without another thought, he began his transformation sequence and straightened his form as Sunny did the same behind him.

"What is this, Prowl?"

"It's an art festival, Sunny."

"Art… festival?" He could feel the weight of that stare on the back of his helm before it finally moved to the different displays. "But… don't they usually have those at the museums or… you know… convention centers?"

"I got into contact with the directors and made a few special requests…" His tone softened as he answered. Where he wasn't one to use his status for his own benefit, the people had happily obliged to aid him. Simply being an Autobot did that for him. It helped though… that he often patrolled the city in his free time in order to help out local law enforcement.

"You…" Sunny stopped then slowly moved past him in order to kneel down and gaze at some of the art put up by different artists. Many smiled and began to ask him questions. In time, he was sure Sunny had forgotten to finish his words as he focused on the techniques in the artwork and conversed with their creators.

Drifting in his wake, he watched the different expression flit over the warrior's face and for a moment, he no longer appeared to be a warrior. This was his element. It was simply fascinating to watch the layers of hardened exterior waver and melt into a look of eager engagement.

"Do you like art?" Jumping slightly as a young girl, probably in her teens, giggled at this and laced her fingers behind her back as she addressed him.

"You could say that." He slowly turned and knelt to her level with a vague smile.

"You're not looking at any of the art work."

"What makes you say that?"

"You've only been following him." Pointing vaguely at Sunny as he conversed with yet another artist, she then looked back up at him.

"Ah… I suppose that's true. Are you an artist?"

"Yes!" Clapping her hands together, she suddenly looked eager. "I was wondering if you'd let me sketch you."

"I…" Prowl seemed to fumble over the thought as the human girl's eyes did all the pleading for her. A doorwing twitched as he felt the tall presence of his companion suddenly leaning over his shoulder careful of the doorwings.

"Sorry, kid. First dibs." Sunny's voice was all he needed to hear to envision that smirk once again. Though, this time the tone was sharp and was that possessive?

"You're an artist! No wonder he brought you here!" The girl didn't even seem to notice that the yellow mech was intent on her leaving.

"Yeah. He spoils like that." Sharper still in tone, Prowl turned his head to see that slight strain in Sunny's visage.

"Maybe another time." Quickly speaking up, he nodded to her before rising to his feet. Only then did she take the subtle dismissal and waved at him before running back to her booth. He had to admit, her work was rather nice. Finally facing Sunstreaker, he canted his head to the side quietly. "You aren't serious."

The yellow mech suddenly smirked, his lip curling in a way that caused his optics to glint. "And why wouldn't I be, copper?"

"Sunstreaker." His tone held reproach, but it was weak. The mere idea of wanting to paint his portrait was a little beyond the strategist. "I'm hardly a model."

Optic ridges rose at this and Sunny shook his head. Turning around he started walking slowly down the street carefully maneuvering the humans as they scurried about. "Prowl… as much as I hate the adage… beauty is in the eyes of the beholder."

The flat tone caused him to sink into silence. It hadn't been meant to hurt him, only set him straight. One of the keys to dealing with Sunny was realizing what he was truly saying when it was easy to take offense. Following after the Lamborghini, he halted when Sunny suddenly stopped.

_'Thank you…'_

_'For?'_

_'All of this…'_

_'You're welcome.'_

--+--

"How was your trip into town yesterday?"

"It was good, sir."

"I'm glad to hear it." Prowl lifted his optics over the report in his fingers to meet the curious gaze of his superior. Optimus leaned over his desk, elbows resting on the surface as his chin lay in the cradle of his hands. "Sir, permission to speak freely?"

"Granted." The Prime nodded slightly almost as if he'd expected the question.

"I… can't help but realize the way you seemed to react to Sunstreaker and me." His words were chosen carefully and calmly. It hadn't slipped his notice how Prime seemed to have the worst timing in those difficult times. "I understand your concern… but…"

"Why was I so hard on him?"

"Yes…" It shouldn't surprise him when Optimus knew what he wanted to ask. There was a reason he was chosen by the Matrix.

"Sunstreaker is one that has to set his mind to something or he'll let it go." Prime was slow in his words, never once moving his gaze from his SIC.

"But sir… where I'm happy that you worry for my sake, he's just as…"

"I, more than anyone, understand where both you and Sunstreaker come from, Prowl. I've watched the both of you grow for many eons now."

"If you know… why were you so hard on him?"

"As I said, Sunstreaker has to set his processor on something or he won't be motivated to follow through. Neither of you needed to settle. Where I knew where you stood, I couldn't seem to figure him out."

Prowl shifted slightly and ducked his head to look at the datapad again that outlined the orders for an assignment. He was too distracted to look at it just yet… "I see…"

Optimus chuckled gently and moved to shake his head. "I promise not to be hard on him unless absolutely necessary. Where I understand the way he is, I do not understand him as you do."

"Thank you, sir."

"Of course."

Finally reading the outline of the mission, he lifted his head slowly to look at his commanding officer. "Sir, I realize that one of our goals is to help the local inhabitants of this planet, but isn't this a bit elaborate?"

"Lack of knowledge on our part of the climate on this planet forced me to make extra precautions. Are you dissatisfied with it? I'm open to revisions if you wish to suggest any."

"No, sir. I think this is fine…" Dropping his optics to it again, he hesitated as he zeroed in on the roster for the mission. Hesitating, he finally shook his head. "I just can't seem to comprehend your reasoning for assigning Tracks to this. Digging a well on a Navajo reservation… well, it doesn't seem like something he'd willingly agree to."

Prime straightened at this and nodded his head. "I thought the same. He wasn't my original choice, but he actually requested the assignment yesterday. It surprised us actually. Would you like me to reassign someone else?"

"Not at all, sir. If he requested, I won't object." Shaking his head, the tactician furrowed his brow briefly. "It just seems… illogical."

"It does."

"Very well…" Brushing the matter aside, he subspaced the datapad and gave Optimus a nod. "I'll have the team ready to leave by tomorrow morning."

"I wish you well my friend."

"Thank you, sir." Smiling just barely, Prowl finally turned and left the Autobot leader's office. Still going over the logistics of the mission, he barely noticed that he'd turned straight into the broad red chest plate of Sideswipe. Taking a step back, he felt a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

"Sorry, sir! You ok?" Sideswipe plastered on a wide grin as he used his other hand to rest on the back of his head sheepishly. "You must have a lot on your processor if you missed me standing in your way."

"It's fine, I should have been paying more attention. Are you going this way to see Prime?" Suddenly curious, he watched the other as he looked off to the side and shook his head.

"Nah… just a bit restless from all the down time. I'm really looking forward to getting out tomorrow!" Returning his gaze to the tactician, the warrior gave one of his spark-winning smiles.

It wasn't that long ago that he'd come down hard on the red Lamborghini. In fact, it had taken much yelling and reasoning on the warrior's part to get Prowl to realize that he was indeed innocent. Frowning, he felt a bit guilty for being so against the younger. For all that he knew about Sideswipe from vorns of watching the twins… he'd so easily fallen to misgivings. Misgivings that were all based on petty jealousy over Sideswipe's closeness to his brother.

"Sideswipe… you haven't been up and about that long. Please don't over do it while we're out there." This obviously wasn't what the other was expecting. Bright blue optics stared into his face in surprise before he smiled softly.

"Sure, Prowler. I'll be fine, don't worry."

"Good." Nodding his head, he looked about curiously. "Your brother's not with you?" This only caused the red twin to suddenly chuckle. "Is something amusing?"

"Nah, nothing at all, copper. He's probably in our room pouting over tomorrow. Talk about torn! He wants to go, but he couldn't argue when I said he'd hate it out there."

Prowl couldn't help but chuckle. "This is true. He isn't the best for the job. Very well, be ready to go by 0600 tomorrow."

"Yes, sir!" With a mock salute, the warrior stepped about him and walked slowly down the hall in the opposite direction. One day, he would apologize to him for accusing him. For now, he was simply pleased that Sideswipe didn't hold a grudge.

--+--

The sun beat down on the Arizona desert relentlessly. Not long after arrival, Wheeljack had been forced to take his processor off the task and place it on adjusting their fields to keep the temperature from over heating their intricate internal systems. Now, it was simply uncomfortable. They'd been working for a few days now, causing even Prowl to finally crawl into the hole they were digging to lend a hand. He'd never had anything against manual labor, but from the whine of his fans, he knew his engine protested far more than his processor.

Of course, it was nothing compared to the continual whine from a certain Autobot that had recently excused himself from work in order to find shade and lament his paintjob. When they arrived, Tracks had only kept up his eagerness to 'help' for about thirty minutes before he decided he'd made the wrong decision. Sadly for his team, he'd reminded them of his misfortune at least five times every breem. And that was only when he made his complaints unavoidable.

After one such long complaint, Prowl had finally told Tracks to go rest. It was easier to do the work himself, then watch the rest of his entourage groan when he wouldn't stop whining. Sideswipe had literally dropped on his knees in front of Prowl and thanked him. That had earned a chorus of chuckles from Bumblebee and Wheeljack. Even the natives seemed to find the display amusing.

Shaking his head at the thoughts, he continued to survey the equipment in the hole that Wheeljack was setting up. The two of them had decided they needed to start more precautionary proceedings as they reached the depth that was about to strike the underground water. That was why he surveyed at one side while Wheeljack tweaked the different inventions that would help dig and pull the Autobots out of to the surface easily.

"Hey! How are ya two doin' down there?" Sideswipe leaned over the edge with a large grin on his face silhouetted by the noon summer sun. Prowl lifted his head and dimmed his optics to keep from taking in the bright light at full capacity.

"I think I'll be finished soon. Could you and Bumblebee start clearing out the mess up there before we continue?"

"Sure thing, boss! We don't have to ask Tracks do we?"

"I'm certain the two of you can do it on your own. When I'm done down here, I'll assist you." The red mech sent an elaborate thumbs up his way before he vanished from sight. The chuckle behind him caused him to smirk.

"I don't blame ya, Prowl. Tracks has been less than helpful. Though… I think your helping out like this has earned you a whole new level of respect from the renowned 'red hellion'." Wheeljack snickered at this and continued to alter some of the specifications on an intricate pulley system.

"I don't mind getting dirty." The dry tone caused the other to laugh again heartily, his head fins flashing.

"Unlike your choice in suitors. I suppose it works out that way. It's a good balance I'd say."

"Balance?"

"Sure! Even where you have your similarities, you and Sunstreaker are like night and day! No one would have suspected the two of you to see optic to optic. We were all very wrong." Nodding at this, he turned to glance at Prowl a moment, his optics smiling. "I think it's good for the both of ya."

"I suppose it is." Prowl spoke carefully with uncertainty. He wasn't used to even talking about it with Jazz and Prime, much less the inventor. Turning back to his task of entering in algorithms and measurements, he continued softly. "I don't know what draws him to me."

"Sometimes, it's just better to ask him. It's certainly easier for someone else to see our finer points than see them ourselves. Don't worry so much, Prowl." The kindly scientist, eccentric as he could be, always seemed to take things in stride. It helped that he made a good point that Prowl could slightly understand.

Processing it for a moment, he meant to continue the conversation. It felt oddly nice to talk about the yellow mech now that he'd not seen him in a few days. He'd never thought he'd really miss the other over such a short span of time. Without looking back, his lips parted, but the sound of loud giggling stopped him.

"Whoa! Don't run…!" It was Bumblebee's voice that made him tip his head back and see the tip of the yellow minibot's head as he seemed to teeter, a large bucket in his hands. That was when he lost his balance. "AH! LOOK OUT!"

Even knowing it was coming, he couldn't move fast enough to not have the contents of the bucket cover him. It should have been mostly rocky dirt, so he'd not felt it that imperative to try to dodge and accidentally damage something else. Instead, as the substance hit him, it slid like slime over his helm and over his shoulders. Dermal plating tingled unpleasantly at the grimy substances that coated it like tar.

All he could do was stand there in shock. At first he was too baffled by the texture of the substance to process what just happened. He heard the voice of Bumblebee and Wheeljack as they spoke; only his processor wasn't translating the sound into coherency. Dropping his optics to the streaks of slimy dirt, his olfactory sensors registered a stench of sulfur like smell. Eggs. Rotten eggs.

Wheeljack was at his side in an instant, his helm fins flashing with every word. For a while he just stared, before the sound cleared and the glitch managed to smooth itself out of his logic center.

"Primus! How did this happen?" Wheeljack was studying the mixture with dismay before shaking his head. "This isn't good, Prowl… are you all right?"

Turning slowly, he felt the grit seep a bit into his shoulder joint. He knew that his expression was blank, but there was a shadow of anger in his tone. "As well as I can be with dirt and rotten eggs all over me." The scientist winced at his words before the strategist continued. "I need to get this off."

"You're right… that will eat at your paint… but…" Wheeljack's optics flashed in worry. "With the low water supply… we can't spare it to wash it off…"

Prowl felt himself freeze up. There was logic in those words. Stiffly he dipped his head down offlining his optics. As a protector of these humans, it would be wasteful to use their water simply to save his paint. "I need out of here…"

Nodding to the strategist, Wheeljack guided him to the side he'd been working on. Climbing up out of the hole after giving the report to the scientist, he stood on the edge his doorwings poised rigidly on his back. The sound of two sets of footsteps caught his attention. Quickly, he sent the two a sharp look barely containing the glare.

"I'm so sorry, Prowl! I didn't mean to fall! Sides almost caught me before but… Ah…" Bumblebee stopped and stared at the dirt that slimed over his armor. "That… why is it…?" Sides stood at the yellow bot's side and stared with wide optics.

"What the frag was in that dirt?"

Prowl felt the pressure as dental plating grinded together. "Eggs."

"But… how in the name of the Primal Source did eggs get in the dirt we were carrying off?" Sideswipe couldn't seem to take his eyes off the grime. That surprise and shock were enough to convince Prowl that it wasn't his doing. "Primus… that's just cruel… cause…"

"He can't even wash it off…" Bumblebee finished for him in a low tone. All three stood there and just stared after that. He felt like a spectacle suddenly. It seemed like Primus had it out for him… No, someone had it out for him. But why? Who? Lifting his head slowly, he found his optics had locked gazes with Sideswipe. There was a flare of anger in those optics mixed with concern.

If he'd had any inkling of doubt of his innocence, it fled with that one gaze. The red Lamborghini stepped forward and carefully touched his shoulder unafraid to get the muck on his hand. "Lets go try to wipe it off as much as we can."

With a defeated nod, he fell into step beside the younger mech. Doorwings slowly drooped as he felt something close to defeat filter through his processor. It was quickly squashed down, but there was no denying that his posture reflected it. It would be a long few days before they could return home…

--+--

"Hey, Prowler?"

"Hm?" The soft sound was subdued as he didn't move from his spot sitting on a large sandstone boulder in the middle of the desert. After hours of pretending not to hear the villagers talk about the smell, he finally decided to move away from them to the outskirts of the village for the night. It wasn't comfortable. There would be no recharging either. But he didn't feel others should suffer with him more than was necessary.

"You don't have to be out here, ya know." Finally turning his head to the voice, he saw Sideswipe shifting from foot to foot looking for all the world like a worried child. For a long moment, he watched the warrior too numb to really react. They had finished their project and would be leaving in the morning.

"You should be resting. It'll be a long drive tomorrow."

"Yeah… but that's kinda thin coming from you at the moment." Sideswipe toned this in irritation causing Prowl to suddenly smirk slowly. After shaking his head, the strategist beckoned him closer. Moving obediently, he sat on the spot beside the Datsun without a word.

Prowl lowered his optics to the blemishes and discoloring of the normally white armor suddenly remembering why he wasn't all that hurried to return. "I've worked on less recharge in the past, Sideswipe. It's of no concern."

"Right. And I guess it's no concern that you're even more of a recluse now than normal. When we get back, Ratchet'll fix ya up and have you repainted in no time." The younger turned to him with a bright smile that disarmed him causing his doorwings to sweep back.

"Not fast enough."

"Not fast enough for what, copper?" Sides' smile faded as he leaned closer to look at the other. Frowning, it seemed to occur to him. "Oh. You're afraid of what Sunny will say?" Prowl gave a wince and looked away toward the star filled sky. "Thought so. Don't. I don't think Sunshine will care other than wanting to find the one responsible and tear them apart if ya know what I mean. Sunstreaker is super protective."

This caused him to chuckle weakly. "Interesting. I'll have to take your word on it. I think you'd know him better than I."

"Of course! He's the other half of my spark." Smirking playfully, he lightly punched the elder in the shoulder. "So… cheer up."

"May I ask why you're attempting to cheer me up?" Genuinely curious, he looked at the Lamborghini who chuckled again almost musically.

"Call it… a debt I owe to someone that's done a lot for my brother and me."

"Oh?" Nodding with a sharp exact movement, the younger leaned back on his hands and began to hum softly. The sound was soft and melodic to his audios. In fact, he found it very soothing. "What are you humming?"

"A song I used to sing to Sunny when he was upset on Cybertron." Prowl canted his head at the reply, his doorwings twitching in interest.

"Could I ask you to sing it for me?" The younger grinned brightly at him and answered him in the most unexpected way. He began to sing as his head tipped back to stare at the stars.

"What's a miracle, if life itself is not? Who am I to praise its worth with a hymn? I may stumble over words that I forgot, just as life itself will slowly begin." The perfect tenor of his voice drew Prowl's optics to his profile. He found it hard to look away as he saw a side of the red twin he'd never seen before. "Sing me a song for the mountains to move, sing me the anthem of life, sing me the anthem of life…"

Optics dimming, the sound alone eased the tension in his systems and removing the strain that had been on his logic processor for the past few days from worrying. It was like a magnetic force lulling him closer.

"I am skeptical, I like my glass of wine, I don't know your name, or what I am to do. One day you'll wonder why, try read between the lines, and you will sing for me, the way I sang for you…" Prowl felt his body gravitate to the Lamborghini his helm brushing against his shoulder causing him to jump at first. But as the shock soothed away with that voice, the center of his chevron tentatively pressed to his shoulder. "Sing me a song for the ocean to part, sing me the anthem of life…"

As the chorus reverberated through his processor, it made it harder to hear, but he wanted to hear the end. "So another page is turned, pray I understand what's happening, but if anything, I do know this, I'll be the best I can…"

Sighing an exhale from his lips, he only heard one more faint line before the world went dark. "Sing me a song like angels rejoice… sing me the anthem of life…"

--+--

When he'd woken from recharge, he'd found himself leaning against a form. In all his years, he never recalled ever having that happen. That was one of the reasons why he'd traveled in the back of the pack as they headed back to the Ark. A terrifying sense of embarrassment had ruled his processor each time he looked at the warrior. Where Sides didn't seem to care, he felt like he'd committed a heinous act. Though, the reason he gave had been that he wanted to stay downwind for their sakes. Another lie in the fact that he didn't want to see Sunny just yet. In truth, he'd wanted to forego running into the yellow twin until after he'd gone to med bay.

Sadly, that wasn't how the events had gone. Instead, the moment they arrived back, Sunstreaker had been waiting for them in the entrance, arms crossed. When he'd finally seen Prowl, there had been a string of curses aimed at his twin asking what had happened. That was the only reason he'd made it to med bay without actually speaking to the sunshine yellow mech.

He'd not calculated in Ratchet's reaction though as his audios were filled with even more curses. By the time he was released from his care, he swore he'd learned curses he'd never wanted to know. When Ratchet had continued to growl after getting the primer coat of paint on, he'd told him he'd go elsewhere to finish it. It was the only way to get away from that gleam in the medic's optics that made his doorwings tremble.

That left him where he was now. Slowly trailing down the hall attempting to look unaffected by the stares and muted exchanges about what had happened and why he wasn't correctly painted. Drowning out the sound, he attempted to go over the information for his reports for Optimus, but thoughts of the yellow warrior threatened to derail the methodical planning.

With each passing second, he found himself wilting internally as he recalled the anger in that tone as Sunstreaker questioned his twin. The warrior hadn't even thought to ask him. Stopping at the door to his quarters, he suddenly offlined his optics and shook his head. Blindly keying in his code, he stiffened at the feeling of someone standing behind him.

"I've been looking for you."

As the door slid open, he fought the urge to look back at that all too familiar voice. "Ratchet took longer than expected."

"Sides told me what happened."

"Did he?" A wave of guilt hit him at the memory of the red twin causing him to walk into his room without looking at the Lamborghini. Sending a small gesture over his shoulder, he motioned for the other to follow.

"Yeah."

Finally turning around to look at the other, he found a strained frown on that beautiful visage and he winced. Doorwings lowering marginally, he turned back to move further into his quarters. Sunstreaker followed in his wake with that close proximity he was growing accustomed to.

"If you find out who it was, I'll beat the slag out of the glitch." There was thick anger in the other's vocalizer that caused Prowl to stop unexpectedly. It also caused Sunstreaker to run into him. Instead of moving away, the yellow mech stood pressed against his back causing his sensors to suddenly blaze with tingles.

"That's… that's not…"

"Prowl?"

A sharp intake was taken in order to clear his processor. "It's not necessary."

Silence fell over them until fingertips suddenly grazed over the seams of his shoulders causing his back to arch into the touch unconsciously. "You're really… sensitive."

"Hn…" Prowl couldn't string coherent words together as he took a step forward only to feel Sunny's fingers clutch his shoulder and drag him back. Strong arms wound about his shoulders and a helm pressed into the top of his.

"Ratchet didn't do the detailing…"

"No… he didn't." His fans suddenly kicked in as his optics began to dim. "I didn't want to end up being formatted into a human appliance."

Only the barest hint of a chuckle left Sunny before he shifted and spoke directly into Prowl's audio. The low purring quality mixed with the proximity sent shivers down his back. "Let me do it?"

"You don't have to."

"I'm better at it anyway."

"Ah…" He couldn't argue that logic. No one had a steadier or more artistic hand than Sunstreaker. "Why do you want to?"

"Cause I want to show whatever slagger screwed you up how beautiful you really are." The murmur was enough to cause him to take another sharp inhale through clenched dental plating.

"Mm… If that's what you want." Who was he to argue that logic?

"I do. Now go lie down." Pushing at him gently, Prowl started to move reluctantly toward his berth. Something in his programming hummed a warning at the situation, but at that point he was too tired and intrigued to argue. Turning, he sat on his berth and watched the yellow warrior as he pulled out supplies from subspace, laying them out on a table near the berth.

"You planned this?" The answer to Prowl's question was the shrug of shoulders as the warrior glanced at him and frowned slightly.

"I said lie down. It'll be easier that way for you to be still."

Prowl hesitated a moment before slowly turning and lying face down on the berth. With concerted effort, he arranged his form carefully, mindful of his bumper. It took folding his arms under his head to balance out. After this, he faced the wall not wanting to see the other. Conflicting emotions played havoc on his systems and he was straining to contain it. Every part of him wanted to know what the other was thinking. In all his life he'd never really cared what another thought, but it was different here and now. "Do you really think that?"

"You'd better not be asking me about how I see you. Cause I don't like answering things more than once." Sunny had an edge that told Prowl not to question him. "Beauty is something that is defined by the individual. I don't give a slag what anyone else says when it comes to you. Stop being stupid."

This made the officer suddenly chuckle harshly as he let the bitter emotions out. "Remind me not to question you again in the future."

"Sure." Closer this time than before, Prowl turned to look at Sunny only to catch the flash of yellow as he climbed up on the berth with him. Strong legs were suddenly resting on either side of his hips and he nearly jumped at the sheer feeling of vulnerability. In alarm, the doorwings flared only to have Sunny's hand pressed flat against the center of his back between them.

"Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you." There was a smug quality to his voice as talented fingertips smoothed over his dermal plating soothing out the tenseness.

"I'm not used to this."

"I'd hope not." This time the tone was somewhat playful as the hands lifted away. What followed next was the tickling sensation of the soft bristles of a paintbrush running over him. Sighing, his optics faded offline. That was when he heard the other start chuckling and pause. "What?"

"Your engine is purring… kitten."

What? Optics flaring to life, he realized that Sunstreaker was correct. Somewhere in the process, the sensations had kicked in his engine. Internals heated up as he fought back the wave of embarrassment yet again. "Oh…"

"I like it." He could feel the other back up and lean back on his heels. "Sit up a moment." Doing as he was told, he easily slipped up onto his knees and carefully maneuvered with the both of them on the berth. "Face me."

He didn't know why that tone made him turn. There was only command in Sunstreaker's voice and he felt unable to disregard. As he faced the younger, he met dim cerulean and felt his spark tighten. One of the yellow hands was curled about a paintbrush and the other a tray of different paints. That gaze slid down him and he fought the urge to look away. He'd never been scrutinized in this way before. Sunny's optics were that of an artist's. They saw things in a different light than his own militaristic views. It was why he now felt helpless under the artist's gaze and didn't know how to react.

Sunny slid back toward him easily with the grace of an artist used to moving about with the tools of the trade in hand. With deep concentration, he began to slide the brush over the elder's hood causing him to shiver.

"Be still… And don't lean back."

Prowl hadn't even realized that he was drifting backward. Stilling, he forced his sensors to tone it down and not be so reactive. But being that he wasn't used to contact, it proved far more difficult than he'd imagined. Dropping his gaze, he noticed how quickly and efficiently Sunny worked. He was finishing the sweep of black on white on his hood before cleaning his brush and finding the red paint.

Optics drifted away from the talented hands and up the warrior's arm. Focusing on the perfectly painted canopy, he drew his gaze up until he found the look of concentration on Sunny's features. The other was beautiful. It wasn't that he'd never seen it before, but it never was such a pressing issue till this moment.

Suddenly the hands stilled and he found those optics on his curiously. "What? If you keep leaning closer I'm going to mess up…"

"I…" He'd not even realized what he was doing. What was wrong with him? Furrowing his brow, he found his eyes slipping to the other's lips. His processor and memory banks quickly reflected back to another time in med bay. "Sunny…"

"Yeah, kitten?"

A doorwing flicked at the nickname, but he didn't dwell on it. One hand reached out and carefully slid over Sunny's chin. "May I?"

"You're such an idiot sometimes for being so fraggin' smart." A smirk slid over his lips as he leaned in closer careful not to hit wet paint. "Stop asking and just do it."

That was all it took for him to move forward. White digits caught the perfectly sculpted chin and drew him in. Their lips met softly at first until Sunny pressed into him harder. Parting his lips in surprise, the younger took advantage sliding his glossa into his mouth and ravishing it.

All coherent thought escaped him as he felt the moan more than heard it as it left his vocalizer. His other hand rose to glide over Sunstreaker's face, tracing the cheek seam before trailing over to run along the vents. This made the younger shiver from helm to foot. Attempting this again, he curled his fingers about the vent and then pressed his thumb along the ridges causing the warrior to gasp. The sound of the paint brush clattering to the berth caused them both to pull away and simply stare.

"Don't want to mess up the paint…" The half-hearted mumble made Prowl smile. Air was being circulated quickly through his internals as he tried to clear out his processor. It seemed that Sunny was having just as hard of a time.

"It could… logically… be redone."

The sudden smirk that swept across Sunstreaker's face was the only warning he had before he was once more assaulted with a deep kiss. As his processor's whirled at the sensation, all thought and inhibition was gone. Yes… it could be redone later.

Sunny was correct. It was all in the eye of the beholder. But it wasn't just beauty. Others had asked him why he'd picked Sunstreaker. He was bad tempered, anti-social, and egotistical. At least, that was what he put up for the universe to see. As those talented hands slid down his sides, he felt the surge of electricity slip through his circuits making him feel more alive than he ever had in his life.

Beauty wasn't the only thing in the eye of the beholder. Worth was there as well. And as those lips slid over his cheek only to nip at his chin, he realized that Sunstreaker was worth more to him than he ever would have predicted.

"Stay here? Please…" Prowl's words were a whisper of uncertainty, not used to asking for such a thing. Right now, he wanted reassurance, and by the slight twitch of lips against wiring in his neck, he had a feeling he'd receive it.

"May as well…" The younger's voice held an amused tone as he sat back on his heels. "But only cause I plan to finish what I started."

Perplexity colored Prowl's optics as he stared into Sunny's face. "Do you mean painting or…"

"Let's just say both…"

Heat rose in his internals and his sensors seemed to scramble a moment. "You're trying to make my logic center glitch…" All he got in return was that smirk that turned his systems upside down. It would be a long night…

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

_All you wanted was somebody who cares  
If you need me you know I'll be there…_

-Finé-

Note: Sideswipe is singing "Anthem" by Kamelot


	18. Déjà vu

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **R!

Notes: We will call this the calm before the storm. –Chuckles- Otherwise, I hope you like my first attempt at err… smutting as a friend calls it. Anyway… Please be gentle. XD Also!! Someone drew a picture for this fic! Thank you! Look up laMalvagita on DeviantArt. –Heart- (Special thanks to Okami-chan for being my beta! She's been a big help. –double heart-) Sunny/Prowl, Sides/Blue, Ratchet/Ironhide…

**Warnings: **A sudden jump in rating. Please don't hate me… I'm ever so new at Mech smex… Ah… and enjoy it? I plan to reclaim your heartstrings soon.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Open Arms" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Journey and HasTak respectively.

_Lying beside you, here in the dark  
Feeling your heart beat with mine  
Softly you whisper, you're so sincere  
How could our live be so blind  
We sailed on together  
We drifted apart  
And here you are by my side_

_So now I come to you, with open arms  
Nothing to hide, believe what I say  
So here I am with open arms  
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me  
Open arms…_

-Open Arms by Journey-

Somewhere in the night, he'd risen from recharge, awakening to the sensation of something pressed into him. Recalling that first sight as his optics came online, made his circuitry tingle even now. The splash of soft blue light washing over black and white metal in the dark proved to be amazingly beautiful. Shadows hugged the corners of a hip and framed the edges of the doorwing that dipped down only to rest on his own chassis.

Prowl had been facing away from him when he'd finally slipped into recharge the night before. In fact it had been rather late when they both finally reached the point where being online was too much. But it didn't stop his processor from running all night and replaying the sensation of his fingertips over smooth dermal plating. Flashes of memory haunted his recharge containing the slightest parting of lips and dim optics combined with that subtle purr of the Datsun's engine.

Now he had been laying there counting the seconds that reached to an hour now, just watching the strategist sleep. At one point, he'd leaned over the elder and studied the serene features of his faceplates curious to know what he looked like when he slept. Rolling onto his back, Sunny felt Prowl shift beside him more than likely because he'd freed the other doorwing that he'd been lying on.

What surprised him was the soft murmur from the Datsun's vocalizer as he rose sleepily only to fit into the curve of his side and pressed his chevron into Sunny's chest. Letting out the air he'd failed to cycle, he remained silent as Prowl once more faded away into blissful recharge. However, it didn't surprise him that Prowl seemed to be aware of him even in his recharge cycle. The tactician always seemed to be aware…

The warrior simply sighed and slid one arm about the other's waist and watched the doorwing twitch in the dim light. Lifting his other hand, he trailed his fingertips over the edges and definitions of Prowl's helm. He'd done the same motion before time and again, but now he had the time and ability to simply memorize the curves and angles of his… lover? The word made him literally shiver.

Dimming his optics, he allowed his sensors to absorb more than just the sight of the SIC laying against him. In the darkness, he could feel the simple thrum and pulse of the elder's spark against his side and it made him smile. They'd not gotten 'far' in their explorations. In fact, they had both seemed timid to try too much. He wasn't complaining. Sunny had been perfectly content to stay there and recharge next to him. It was all just so much to take in. This was Prowl… and funnily, that made it that much better to take his time.

And right now, Prowl was beautiful beyond explanation. The fact itched at his processor and tugged at his programming until he felt his hands give in before his CPUs could. Reaching into subspace, he pulled out a small makeshift sketchpad. Sliding his opposite knee up, he balanced the tablet against it. It was fortunate that Prowl chose to sleep on his left side…

Smirking to himself, he pulled out the piece of charcoal he'd had left from his last artistic excursion and began to sketch Prowl. With each gliding stroke, he realized that he took more time on the areas he found were sensitive on Prowl. It made him pause and suddenly chuckle to himself. When had he become so sentimental?

Resuming his careful motions, yellow hands glided over the material in graceful motions. Every dip and curve was drawn not only from sight, but from the memory of what it felt like to touch. After a while, Sunstreaker forgot the time as it slid closer to early morning. The only reminder was his companion shifting and lifting his doorwings tensely. Pausing in his drawing, he watched in rapt amazement as Prowl lifted himself from off of Sunny's chest plate and stretched with the grace of a large cat. Doorwings rose and flicked in tandem with the lift of his helm and the brightening of icy blue optics.

For a moment, Prowl seemed to process his presence before his optic ridges furrowed. "Paint…"

"Hm?" Paint? Sunstreaker's optic ridge rose at this in question.

"My paint…" One white hand rose and slowly slid over his chassis causing him to shiver. Following the touch, he noticed the streaks of white and black. Oh… he'd forgotten about that.

"Slag."

Prowl let out a rare laugh softly, proving that he wasn't fully awake. Gently lowering his body onto the younger, the tactician made sure to keep his head up in order to look into his face. "I'd offer to get it off… but I don't think I have skills in artistry."

"Forget it." Grumbling, he felt hard pressed to be angry over it. The fact that he liked the paint on him surprised him.

"I never pinned you for an early riser." One wing flicked lazily tempting Sunny to touch it as Prowl spoke.

"I'm not. Things are a little different today." His tone was low and disgruntled as he moved his gaze off of the elder to the drawing only to sigh. No matter where he could look, he was reminded of his situation and the urge to touch.

"Oh." Prowl's optics dimmed in thought before flickering brightly. "I kept you awake?"

He laughed. Sunny couldn't help it. The thought of Prowl taking the blame for that was beyond him. "You could technically say that if you want to."

"What do you mean?" The slight frown and lowering of optic ridges denoted the only hint of confusion he could read on Prowl's face.

"Nothing, copper. S'not your fault." Sunny shifted again, trying to slip the canvas out of view. Only, the motion drew Prowl's attention.

"What's that?" Lifting just enough to lean forward, Sunny's spark clutched at how close the strategist's helm was to his lips.

"Nothing…" His voice was a mumble as he watched Prowl press his hip into Sunny's side and reach over to pluck the sketch from his hand. Letting go easily, he winced as those optics slid over the image.

"This is…" Prowl's lips curled into an uncertain frown as his optics slid over the sketch. Suddenly the blue light flared as it finally clicked into place. "Sunstreaker… that's… you drew me?"

"Is that so bad?" The defensive tone sounded far more certain than the expression on his faceplates looked.

"No…" Prowl turned his head slowly to look at the younger. Lips pressed into a line before he set the canvas on the berth leaning it against the wall. After this, he shifted again and slid one leg over the warrior so that his knees rested on the berth on either side of Sunny's hips. Leaning forward, a palm pressed down on each side of the younger's head. "I'm… flattered."

Sunny's optics flared brightly as Prowl leaned closer. His lips parted almost in expectation as he fumbled over his words. "Never… never thought you'd say something like that…"

"Is that bad?" Parroting the words back at the yellow twin, Prowl's lip twitched upward in a slight smirk.

"Glitch." Frowning hard, he lifted a hand to slide over the frame of the white helm only to stop at the midpoint of the chevron. "You enjoy tripping me up."

"Mm… maybe." He slid his lips over the curve of the younger's nasal ridge and pressed a butterfly kiss to the black helm.

Air pulled in through open vents with a hiss in reaction. "Prowl…"

"Yes, Sunstreaker?" He could feel that smile on the elder's lips as he trailed them over his helm only to pause at one of the vents on the side of his head. Sunny shivered and fought the urge to turn his head, wanting to see what Prowl was doing. Instead, he felt the tip of the other's glossa lightly trace one of the vent ridges causing him to gasp.

"Prowl!" The tone was half in surprise the other in desire. Yellow hands rose to brace against the white armor of Prowl's shoulder's and tensed.

The strategist chuckled close to his audio, he could feel the vibrations against the sensitive metal. Dimming his optics, he listened to the serene voice that followed fighting to grasp the meaning of the words rather than just the sound. "I need to get ready to go on duty."

"Fraggin' slagger!" Sunny's tried to sound angry, instead his vocalizer crackled pitifully. "Stop being a tease then!"

Prowl laughed and pulled back to give the younger a tender smile. Doorwings swept forward betraying his playfulness as he shook his head. "Whatever do you mean, Sunny?"

Snarling lowly, he moved his hands from the elder's shoulders, reaching back to grip the joints of the doorwings. Prowl let out a low moan, his back arching in a way that pressed his bumper into Sunny's canopy. "You know what I mean…"

"Mmm… I think I do…" Lips parted as his optics faded offline. Usually nimble white hands only managed to clutch at Sunny's forearms desperately. "Stop… you know they're sensitive…"

"So are the vents…" Snapping back softly, he lifted his head and captured the parted lips in a kiss. Pressing his glossa in as Prowl gasped, he memorized the curvature and structure within hungrily. Fingertips slid into the joints causing Prowl to break away with a low cry, tipping his head back shuddering. He heard the bare notion of his name from Prowl's vocalizer before he slowly released the other from his grasp.

Almost instantly, the black and white mech sank, his doorwings quivering on his back. Ventilating air at a high rate, Prowl looked so small and vulnerable as he fought to regain himself. "You're… in… incorrigible."

Shrugging, he smirked at the elder. "You started it."

Prowl gave him a weak glare before managing to slide off of him and then off the berth. Standing still, it took only a few seconds for him to regain his composure. Straightening, the strategist seemed like a completely different mech from one moment to the next. Sunny felt a flutter in his spark over knowing that he had the privilege to see Prowl being something other than the strict SIC. "I hear that excuse a lot."

"Sure you do."

"I need to go." Prowl didn't look back at him, and he wanted to believe he knew why. Because if he did, Sunny knew he wouldn't want to let him leave. "Stay here and recharge if you want. The door will lock automatically after you leave."

"Fine." The tone was flippant, but the intensity of his gaze betrayed his keen interest on the posterior side of the SIC.

"I'll find you when I get off shift. If you like." A doorwing twitched and Sunny realized that the other was nervous.

"I'd be disappointed if you didn't." Chuckling he turned onto his side, not quite willing to leave the berth of his lover just yet.

"Very well. Until later. Don't forget your shift." Without another word, he was already walking out of the room, through his office and to the door.

Sunny never looked away until he was sure the elder was gone. Optics dimmed and he shivered from helm to foot. One hand slowly slid over the berth and the smallest of smiles touched his lips.

--+--

"Slag, Sunny… what happened to you?" Sideswipe stared in amazement when Sunstreaker slipped into their room later that morning. Wide optics were locked on his chassis in amazement. "And where were you last night?"

"I was with Prowl." Grinding out the flat tone, he watched his brother try to hide the flinch before he looked away. "What's it matter? Does this mean I get to grill you every time you don't come back at night?"

"That's not it, Sunny, and you know it." Catching the glare, Sideswipe snorted then started poking at a datapad he'd been half heartedly reading.

"Whatever. Help me get it off." Sending his brother a neutral stare, the red twin jumped and gave him a scandalized look. Sunny bit down the urge to smirk. "Don't give me that look."

Tossing down the datapad, his twin shook his head. The motion seemed to shake away the disgruntled look before he moved to him. "Fine, sit."

Sunstreaker finally smirked and moved to sit on the edge of his twin's berth. As he did so, the other dug out various cleaning tools and finally slid in beside him. "Didn't think you'd be here."

"Why?" The other gave a thoughtful pause in order to give Sunny a curious look.

"After being gone, I would have thought you'd be going to see Blue." He only allowed a gruff replay. There was still a little bit of jealousy where the younger Datsun was concerned. He just had a mode of distraction now, was all.

"Oh… I had something to do. I'll go see him today since I'm off duty." Shrugging his shoulders, the red mech returned to scrubbing off the streaks and splotches of black and white paint. "What the frag were you two doing?"

"Nothing."

"Like the pit! You're wearing half his paint! Must have been a crazy night." The red warrior suddenly grinned slyly and poked at his brother's side. "How'd you get his wings unwound?"

Sunny stared at his brother quietly a moment, the look on his faceplates blank. "You're an idiot. We didn't do anything…"

"What?!" His twin's optics went wide, his mouth gaping slightly. "You're kidding."

"Look… I was trying to do the detailing… we got carried away." Grinding his dental plating together, he sent his twin a sideways glance. "It didn't go far. I fixed his paint then we recharged. What do you care, anyway?"

Sideswipe huffed and straightened before seeming to think better of his retort. Resuming his efforts to clean the yellow finish, he muttered. "Stop being an aft about it."

"He's… a totally different mech." Giving into his twin wasn't all that rare. It wasn't unusual for him to give in to his twin when he looked hurt by his actions.

The other's motions became slow and thoughtful, but the expression softened on his face. There was an unspoken apology between them as he shifted to another spot. "That's good… s'good for both of you."

"Mm." Turning his head, he stared at the wall a moment before nudging the red warrior. "What was it you had to do?"

"A little investigating." The tone was soft, and Sides didn't look up. Sunny tried to look his brother in the face but Sides wouldn't let him. "I think I know who… but I want to be sure."

"You still think it's because of me being with him, don't you?" Grumbling, the yellow twin clenched his hand into a fist. "I'll beat the slag out of him for it…" Stopping, he frowned. "Sides... you, Bee, Wheeljack, and Tracks were the only ones there."

"Exactly. And I didn't do it, so it leaves really only one mech." Sides spoke with an air of certainty, finally lifting his head to look at Sunstreaker. "But I need to be sure of the motive."

"If you're thinking, what I think you're thinking…" The line of thought jumbled in his head and he scowled. "Enlighten me on your theory for a motive."

"I already told you." The tone was exasperated as Sides threw his hands up in the air. "Use your processor, Sunny!"

"You know… thinking that way could also make you a suspect." Growling out the words, he leaned back and dropped his head against the wall with a soft clank. "You're over analyzing that fight between us. Tracks is just a glitch."

"Are you saying I'm a suspect?" Sideswipe turned a full force glare on his twin.

"Well, why don't you tell me, Sides?" Returning it with equal fervor, he didn't expect the cleaning rag to be thrown in his face. Scowling, he ripped it away and threw it back at his twin. "Come off it, you idiot! If I thought it was you, do you think I'd let you stay in one piece?"

"Sunny… if this is your attitude after a good night, I really don't want to see you after a bad one." Snorting angrily at his twin, the red mech moved off the berth. "Whatever… I'll figure it out and you'll see I'm right."

"You know, it could have been one of the bratty village kids this time. They were the ones that caused Bee to trip. And who's to say it wasn't those kids just being brats the first time as well?" Sunstreaker scowled and did a few finishing touches with the cleaning as Sides seemed to pace about the room.

"I'd just say it was a little too coincidental to not be connected." Looking up sharply at Sideswipe's sharp tone, the yellow twin watched him turn to look at him with a heavy expression. "And I won't let it go till whoever it is, leaves Prowl alone."

Silence filled the room as Sunny attempted to work that through his processors. Lifting a hand, he touched a few fingertips to his helm in frustration. "You're rather protective of him. Shouldn't I be the one overreacting?"

"You should! But you're not!" Sides glared at him for a moment then slowly relaxed, backing down. "Forget it. I'm gonna go get some energon. Join me if you want."

Staring at his twin, he tried to figure out what the other wasn't saying. Instead he let it go. Sunstreaker had too much to think about to dwell on his brother's sudden desire to be a detective. Sliding to his feet, he moved to his brother and elbowed him in the side. "Sure. Let's go."

"You're such a…" Sides nearly flared his arms in frustration then huffed before turning for the door. "Whatever… let's just go."

As the door opened, he walked out behind his twin and they moved on side by side not saying anything. As they drew closer to the rec room, he finally broke the silence. "After I get off duty… I probably won't be coming back to the room. And if I do, it will be late…"

"Gee, Sunny… reporting in to me now? Thought you didn't want me grilling you about your whereabouts." Sides grumbled, his feet shuffling in a silent tantrum over their argument.

The first impulse was to bite back, but he stopped himself. He was learning fast that his temper was leading him down all the wrong paths. "May as well. So you won't have to grill me." Shrugging his shoulders, he ignored the wide optics that turned to look at his profile.

"Yeah…" Facing forward again, Sideswipe suddenly smiled brilliantly. "Well then, hope you two have a good time." Snickering, he sent his brother a sly look. "And try for more than just touching, bro. Seriously… I thought you could do better than that."

Scowling, he instantly hit his brother on the back of the helm making him yelp. "Idiot!" But something inside of him wanted to smile with the other as the red mech nearly snickered and hurried ahead of him to save himself. Maybe he'd try harder to listen to his brother's thoughts later. Maybe.

--+--

"Are you two going to do something tonight?" Turning his head to the chipper sound of Blue's voice, he frowned. Bluestreak had been hounding him about the relationship ever since they'd begun their shift together.

"I guess." Shrugging his shoulders, he walked slowly unconsciously keeping stride with the mech of smaller stature. Honestly, he couldn't remember the last time he'd talked to Blue without his brother there.

"Sides said you didn't go back to your room last night." Sunny stared at the happy expression on the younger Datsun's face. It seemed everyone liked to think what they would about how their relationship moved. "Hey Sunny, do you think you love him?"

"What?" Optic ridges rose instantly and his gait halted.

"Do you love him?" Bluestreak wheeled about on his toes and smiled at him from audio to audio. "Has he said he feels that way?"

"I don't…" Frowning hard he suddenly pointed at Bluestreak with a scowl on his faceplates. "I don't think this is any of your business."

"Sunny…" Blue gave an exasperated sigh and shook his head. "Even the quietest of Cybertronian likes to hear that confirmation. Admit it; you'd like to hear it."

"I don't have to hear it." He snapped frowning hard.

"But hearing it said, even seldom, can really help keep two mechs close together!" Blue jittered as he spoke like a giddy sparkling.

"Blue. Why are you telling me this?" His tone was flat as he balled up a fist and rested it against a hip looking irritated.

"Because!" Stopping to look at the Lamborghini sternly, both hands came to rest on his hips. "You're the type to let things go without saying! And… and I know you'll regret it later."

That seemed to strike straight into his spark. He and Blue had this conversation before… and it had been about his brother. Gritting his dental plating together, Sunny turned to keep walking. "Let's just get the patrol shift over with. I've got places to be."

"At least say you'll think about it, Sunstreaker!" Blue's vocalizer nearly squeaked as he suddenly jumped to follow after the now full strides of the frontliner.

"I'll think about it. Happy?" Grumbling lowly, he saw the smile that bloomed over the smaller mech's face from the corner of his vision.

"Yes. Thank you!" The Gunner's gait seemed lighter now. It never ceased to amaze him how easily Blue could be appeased. Not the quickest at times, but cute.

_'Sunstreaker?' _The voice that hailed over the comm. caused the yellow warrior to pause before moving on.

_'Sir?'_ No matter the relationship with Prowl, he knew how professional the strategist was.

_'Anything to report?' _The tone was crisp and stoic as it always was. But he couldn't help but compare it to the moments he'd been less composed.

_'No, sir. Bluestreak and I are making the final sweep before heading in.'_

_'Very good.' _Sunstreaker half smirked at the finality. Prowl rarely checked in on the patrol units, and if he did, it would have been Bluestreak that he would have asked in the past. Something about that knowledge made his spark warm in his chassis. Not that he'd tell anyone that.

Before the connection cut off a file was sent over his personal channel. Opening it, an optic ridge lifted in amusement. It was a simple GPS location and a time. He didn't need to reply. He was pretty certain Prowl would know his answer.

But what Blue said nagged at the back of his processor softly. Maybe just relying on 'knowing' wasn't enough. Was Prowl really so sentimental to need to hear it? The thought that was returned only seemed to echo in his systems. He didn't tell Sides… and he lost him.

So now he had to decide. Did he love Prowl?

--+--

By his internal clock, he was on time. The dying light of the sun filtered through tall coniferous trees and scattered light over the mountainside. The drive had been rather long, but as he drew closer to the destination, he was aware of the raw beauty of Oregon. Now Sunstreaker scanned the area noting the parks and wildlife signs with interest. What was Prowl planning?

The long drive had given him time to think. He never would have believed he'd actually think about what Blue said. And for that reason, he had an image of Bluestreak looking smug in his processor. That thought made his brow twist and his optics narrow in irritation. Sometimes that Datsun really seemed to always have his way.

"Is it really that distasteful to you?" The soft serene tone made him turn to see the patrol car roll up quietly then begin his transformation sequence.

"No. Thinking about something else." Shaking his head just barely, he allowed him that moment to stare. As Prowl stretch and flicked his doorwings, Sunstreaker's lip curled into a half smirk.

"Oh? May I inquire as to what?" Prowl moved closer and canted his head to a slight angle. Slipping past the taller, the edge of a doorwing brushed Sunstreaker's shoulder causing the yellow warrior to shiver.

"Blue being an annoying aft." Shrugging, he fell into step behind the tactician and kept the urge to touch at bay. "So… what did you want to do all the way out here? Not worried about being on time for your shift tomorrow?"

"If you'd checked the roster, Sunny, you'd realize that we work the night shifts tomorrow." It was simple in tone, and he didn't seem harried. Prowl was always concise in his answers. As they moved along, the strategist kept his optics on the mountainside before stopping. "Here it is. I cleared us to be here this morning. We just need to be careful."

"Careful?" Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned in to see what Prowl was talking about. Optics widened at the sight of a cave entrance yawning from the stone wall. "A cave?"

"Oregon Caves National Monument. I also read it as marble caves." Pausing, the shorter glanced at Sunstreaker over his shoulder. "Are you objecting?"

"No," giving a short response, he saw the slight twitch of lips. Before he could be sure of it, Prowl was already ducking inside. Following close after, he noticed the other turn his headlights off and pull an object from subspace. Suddenly a flame arose from Prowl's hand revealing a large lamp. "Wouldn't the headlights be simpler, Prowl?"

"Natural light is less harmful to the terra formations. Also…" Lifting the lamp, he allowed the light to flicker over the stalactites and other formations. Sunny's amazement reflected in his wide optics as he tried to see everything at once. Rather than seeing it clearly, the dance of flame light brought an edge to the perspective. There was no need for him to say anything further.

Walking through the caves, he noted that it wasn't as big as the cave system in New Mexico, but it was still just as beautiful. Oh… That was why. Prowl was taking him somewhere that was similar to that place. Marginally wider optics shifted to Prowl's back in amazement. How was it, he'd never known how sentimental the SIC really was?

Sentimental. It was a word he'd never really thought to pin on himself nor the black and white Datsun. But now, as they walked by firelight through the natural caverns, he was rethinking that assertion. His spark tightened in his chassis and his optics seemed to zero in on the back of Prowl's helm. The SIC had been there for him everyday for years. For years Sunstreaker gave him nothing, but here they were.

"Sunny?" Lifting his head quickly to meet dimly glowing optics, he read that hint of concern. "Are you all right?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Grumbling in reply, he watched the other lean back. Dancing light played over the slight furrow of his commanding officer's brow and occasionally he could see the downturn of his lips. "I'm fine Prowl… seriously."

"Switch to your night vision a moment." Prowl said as he nodded his head. Moving to the side of the path, he set the lamp on the ground and took the yellow twin's hand. Quickly complying with the command, he made out their path into one of the sections of the caves. He only stopped moving when Prowl released his hand and pressed his hand to his chassis. "Watch."

He'd meant to ask what the other meant, but suddenly a bluish light filled the cavern highlighting a cascading formation. It glowed like blue crystal like water frozen in motion. Staring in amazement, he took a step past Prowl to gaze up at it. "What… is it?"

"Angel Falls. The warden made sure to mention it to me when I communicated with him this morning. I saw pictures…" The elder trailed off as he kept his optics on the natural formation.

Turning slowly, Sunny slowly began to smile. Whatever type of lighting it was, it made the SIC's white paint luminescent. "Careful with that light kitten… You already stand out, but right now you're a beacon."

Prowl seemed to jump slightly, taking his own appearance in. He couldn't see the expression, but he could see the irritated flicks of the doorwings on his back. "I didn't realize…"

He couldn't resist, his hands reached out and suddenly slid along the sweeping line of black on Prowl's hood. The airy touch caused the elder to pause and lift his optcs to Sunstreaker questioningly. "It's attractive."

"Sunny." Doorwings swept forward as Sunny's hand slid back around the line of bumper causing the intakes of the smaller mech to gasp softly.

"You know… I won't kill you if you call me Sunshine." It was so offhanded, and the tone was almost a grumble. In truth, he didn't know what possessed him to say it in the first place. But the slight change in Prowl's expression made it worth it. Walking his fingertips up the center of Prowl's hood, he grazed the main fuel line in the other's neck.

"Always nice to know." The tone was controlled as it left the Datsun, but he could hear that small strain on his vocalizer. Studying that visage, he felt that nagging in his spark again reminding him of what Blue said. As he nearly brushed Prowl's jaw, he felt a hand grab his wrist and gently pull him away. "Sunny… I didn't expect…"

"Expect what?" Optic ridges rose, but he didn't fight the other as his touch was halted. Furrowing his brow, he wondered what he would do if he had to choose. Say it or lose him? Which would he pick? "I won't make you do anything."

Prowl optics narrowed, but the motion wasn't in anger. It puzzled him though. Turning away, the elder set the light on the path and slowly turned back to Sunstreaker. "Thank you for doing my detailing for me."

"What? Is this a thank you for that or something?" Frowning, Sunny didn't sound as put out as he'd wanted to sound.

"No. I've been gone…" Prowl spoke carefully as his head turned to look at the cavern formations. "I figured that time away from base would be the best. Less distractions to contend with."

Sunny settled a little, his processor returned back to that time in a cave not so long ago. That had been a time when he'd learned the most about the officer. For some reason, the reminder was that much sweeter for it. Moving over to Prowl, he once more reached out to slip his fingertips along the hint of glass on the doorwings. This caused the elder to shiver, his optics dimming. The wing swept away at an awkward angle. He didn't know why, but he wanted to laugh at this. "I won't hurt you."

"I'm not used to it." The tactician shifted his weight and made a concerted effort not to look at Sunny. "You have a tendency to make me lose myself."

"Is that so bad?" Tilting his head curiously, he bit back the urge to touch the elder mech again.

"It could be…" Sunstreaker froze completely at the distant tone. It was Prowl, and yet it was nothing like him. There was uncertainty mixed with concern all covered with forced serenity.

"Talk to me." Frowning, he clipped the words, but they weren't hard.

"Please don't toy with me." The tone was sharp as the elder straightened looking dignified. Prowl shrugged his shoulders and automatically moved his hands to lace behind his back, a defensive position.

"I'm not." The idea of it was ludicrous. Reaching out, he suddenly grabbed at Prowl's arm and yanked him to look into his optics. The tactician leveled their gazes and for a long moment shades of blue seemed to be the only defining feature in the darkness. "I love you."

"Sun—what?" A brow once tight with frustration seemed to unravel instantly.

"Don't make me spell it out for you," Sunny growled. He'd not meant to just throw it out there. Letting the other go, he suddenly turned away. "Forget it."

The sound of water droplets echoed in the silence for a moment before he felt the brush of nimble fingertips running along the edge of his spoiler. "Look at me."

Like a child being ordered, he turned to face the elder, his jaw tight. But as his gaze met the small smile on those lips, the tension melted away. A white hand rose and gently curled around to rest on the back of his neck. Then, like a magnetic pull, he was brought closer. Prowl inclined his head to just the right angle as their lips met. The press was soft and tender at first. Pliable metal shaped and molded together testing the fit before parting by mere inches. "Prowl…"

"Hm?" The noise was merely an after thought as the tremor that ran through Prowl, caused his doorwings to shudder. Optics dimmed, the Datsun lifted his other hand and blindly began to trace the line of Sunny's canopy as he pressed closer. Dental plates caught at his lower lip with a soft squeal of metal on metal. Lips whispered over his own as he spoke. "What is it?"

Coherent thought left him as that hand suddenly dug under the canopy and into sensitive wiring. The hand at the back of his neck slowly slid into the wires and fuel lines, carefully tweaking the more vulnerable ones. Heat rose in his internals causing fans to kick in one by one. If he'd meant to answer that question, it was lost in the quick breech of that small gap. Lips crashed together with a muted clang as Sunny ravished and explored the cavity of Prowl's mouth. Hands found the hinges of his doorwings and quickly dipped into them brushing the mass of sensory wires. Dragging him closer, the doorwings flared and tensed before quivering from the assault.

A soft whine left Prowl's vocalizer as Sunny released his mouth and grazed his lips along the cheek seam. Drawing his lips away, the yellow mech kissed at the center of the Datsun's chevron before nipping at the thin red metal. The hand at the back of Sunny's neck slipped and soon caught a hold of a shoulder, digging digits under the armor plating for an anchor. It seemed as though that hold was the only thing keeping the smaller mech on his feet.

Sunstreaker chuckled and took a step back letting Prowl cycle air through his systems at a high rate, just a bit faster than his own. Dim optics seemed to stare at him and through him all at once. Taking advantage of Prowl's inaction, yellow hands slid over the edge of the helm before trailing down the intricate slope of neck. Dancing over the hood, they traced and brushed teasingly at the headlights before rounding the smooth bumper. The black and white mech trembled, the hiss of air through clenched dental plating catching Sunny's audio.

Prowl quickly caught the roaming hands, his grip shaky and uncertain. Bowing his head, his chevron brushed the yellow twin's canopy softly causing Sunny to sigh. Regaining his composure, the tactician suddenly pulled him down. Instead of meeting him, the smaller lowered himself limberly with grace to the cavern floor. Positioning his doorwings carefully on the stone, Prowl released Sunny's wrists and caged his helm in his hands. Tugging him nearer, they kissed again. This time it was deep, passionate and slow causing Sunstreaker's optics to flicker offline and a moan to rumble in his chassis.

Knees came to rest on either side of the elder's hips and he pressed his fingertips into the edges of the doorwings that could no longer move away. It caused the other to writhe just slightly, a small gasp breaking the kiss. "You like that?"

Prowl sent him a frown, but it disappeared as his engine revved in appreciation for the hand that found the door latch and teased lightly. Optics flared indignantly at Sunny's smirk, but dimmed almost smugly as his hands slid over the yellow mech's thighs. Dipping into the junction of hip and leg, the strategist caressed the ball bearings causing his systems to suddenly tingle. It had sufficiently put the young warrior at a standstill.

This made the SIC smile smugly. Fingers of one hand dug further into the joint causing Sunny to cry out in surprise. It was just hard enough to smart, but not enough to break that delicate balance between pleasure and pain. In the same manner, his other hand found the back of the knee on the younger's other leg. This time, his thumb slid lower and teased the gyroscopic mechanism causing his equilibrium to sway out of balance. "Slag, Prowl… what are you doing?"

"What do you think?" The smaller mech rose and arched gracefully as he pressed their chassis together. Lips and dental plating scraped over the edge of Sunny's helm before he whispered into his audio. "There are so many points in our physiology that can be manipulated… whether for pleasure or pain."

Sunny groaned at that soft voice as it echoed and reverberated over his systems causing him to quiver. He tried to speak, but his vocalizer glitched as Prowl's hand moved from the hip to then inner thigh, hooking his fingers into the seam of the codpiece. "Primus! Prowl!"

The rough cry, made the elder move. In one smooth and fluid motion, Prowl had Sunny on his back and he was hovering over him. With aching slowness, white fingertips found the seam of his interface panel. "Shall we venture further?"

"Frag it, Prowl!" Groaning from the mix of irritation and desire, he felt his hips rise and grind against Prowl's. The smaller gasped, his optics flickering from the assault on already sensitized dermal plating. "Don't ask!"

"A-as you wish." There was a hint of a chuckle in that broken sentence, but it didn't matter. The sound alone had Sunny pressing his helm harder into the stone floor. In the flicker of an optic, the panel slid open at the direction of luminescent white fingers. In the changing of positions, they were now in the full glow of the black light. Mesmerized and tightly strung by sensation, Sunny's lips parted with a hiss as his cable was pulled from where it was safely nestled. But the feeling of Prowl's fingers gliding over the bare metal lip of the port made him arch and moan.

The sound of a soft click was the only outside force he noticed as he felt himself suddenly connected to the smaller mech. The sudden outpouring of a datastream was enough to make his processors whirl. But it didn't compare to the sensation of completing the circuit. Jumping as Prowl's cable touched his port; the electricity sizzled then faded as the connection was made. Both groaned as the floodgates opened. Sensations and data transferred from one to the other so fast he swore that he was managing and circulating it all at the speed of light.

Prowl's engine began to purr deeply as he leaned closer and slid his glossa up the ridges of a helm vent. It spiked through the connection and he swore something on his motherboards had fried. The sensation was intensified and prolonged with the echo and ricochet between them. Panting, he reached around Prowl and blindly grasped at the joints of the doorwings causing the elder to arch and stretch over him crying out lowly. That sensation, so new and sharp caused all of his data to blur and collide. But what sent him over the edge was the press of lips to his own so possessive and loving. Gripping the elder to him tightly, he careened over the edge of overload with a loud cry of his lover's name.

In tandem with his overload, Prowl stiffened then writhed in his grip as he fell to his own overload. "Primus! Sunstreaker!"

Hanging on to the dying euphoria and echoed sensations, Prowl sank onto the younger's form limply. Sunny himself had to run checks and reboot systems as he gasped for air to cool down. Optics fading offline, he felt Prowl shift and move to curl into his side. Lips pressed to an audio causing him to sigh before the voice caused all of his processing to just stop. "I love you, too… Sunshine."

Blue was right… he had wanted to hear it.

_But now that you've come back  
Turned night into day  
I need you to stay._

_So now I come to you, with open arms  
Nothing to hide, believe what I say  
So here I am with open arms  
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me  
Open arms…_

-Finé-


	19. Nothing Lasts Forever

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG-13

Notes: This may end up being a bit confusing. The POV will change throughout this chapter. I'm completely against doing things like that, but after much thought and consideration, I admitted that too much would be missed if I didn't. So, it will be labeled at each change. Sunny/Prowl, Sides/Blue, Hide/Ratchet…

**Warnings: **To reserve the element of surprise, I'll just say that there will be Prowl abuse in this chapter and not of the simple pranking kind. Everyone needs a lil angst, right?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Dust in the Wind" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Kansas and HasTak respectively.

_I close my eyes  
Only for a moment, then the moment's gone  
All my dreams  
Pass before my eyes, a curiosity  
Dust in the wind  
All they are is dust in the wind_

_Same old song  
Just a drop of water in an endless sea  
All we do  
Crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see_

-Dust in the Wind by Kansas-

Silence.

Through out his lifetime, Sunny never really liked the silence. That's why he actually liked his brother's talkative nature. The chattiness filled the void. In silences, you had to entertain yourself with your own thoughts. It never helped that it was always quietest when locked away in that small dark closet all those millennia ago.

This time was different. A warm fog settled over his systems as he followed the vehicle in front of him through the desert returning to the Ark. The comfortable silence proved that neither of them needed words to be happy in the other's presence. In fact, after the events of the night before, he felt light on his wheels and it took a lot of self-control not to speed up and just race back. His lover was still the same law abiding officer he'd always been and he wouldn't go for that sort of behavior.

Still early in the morning, they arrived home to the sight of Prime standing in the entrance talking with Mirage and Hound. Coming to a stop they transformed under the gaze of the other Autobots. Sunny was used to scrutiny, but this was a different kind. Sideswipe and him were known for purposely drawing attention, but this matter wasn't supposed to draw attention. Oddly enough, he preferred it to stay private.

"Good morning, Prowl, Sunstreaker." Optimus was the first to break the silence as he nodded to his returning soldiers. "Did you have a safe trip?"

"Yes, sir. It went well." Prowl nodded in return trying to answer quickly and efficiently so the others couldn't press the matter as well. Only, Prowl underestimated the need for information that two intelligence officers would love to have.

"I'm sure it did! Never thought Prowl would take a day off in his life! But when he does it's actually a night?" Hound was all but desperately trying to hold in his laughter causing Prowl to press his lips together in a thin line of irritation.

"Where did you go?" Mirage asked hopefully, directing his attention to the SIC and the not so subtly ignoring Sunstreaker.

Glaring at them mildly, he looked away wanting nothing more than to get away from all three of them. Where Prowl was duty bound to be civil, he had no desire to get along with them and no reason other than he owed it to Prowl.

"I'm sure your brother has been worried." The tactician broke from his idle conversation with the others to look at him. Meeting his optics, Sunny felt the corner of his lips twitch almost into a smile. Prowl was giving him an out.

"Yeah. See ya." Without even regarding the other three, he walked away. One of the things he liked about Prowl was that he understood without having to be told. How had he not noticed before that the SIC put so much attention into knowing what he was thinking without asking?

Heading down the halls to the rec room, his systems churned sluggishly reminding him to get refueled. The long drive in conjunction with their… activities… had made their toll on his energy level. The warrior's gait was nearly dragging as he entered the room and found himself zeroing in on the energon dispenser.

Obtaining a cube, he took a long drink not even noticing that his twin was crossing the room at high speed. Just as he lowered the cube, he felt the impact of the other's body against his back and strong black hands grabbing onto his shoulders.

"Sunny! You're back!" Without hesitation, the hands moved and hugged him about the neck tightly. When had his brother been this clingy?

"Obviously."

"Don't be that way, Sunshine!" Sides gave a fox-like grin as he leaned forward to look at his brother's profile. "Did you have fun? Where did you go?"

Turning his head to look at his brother, optic ridges furrowed till they nearly met in the center. "I guess. The National park…"

"National Park?" The red twin looked perplexed.

"Sunstreaker!" Both twins looked up to see Bumblebee as he hurried over with Jazz and Bluestreak in his wake. "Welcome back!"

Since when did he deserve the welcoming committee? "Yeah…"

"Did you and Prowl just get back?" Blue asked excitedly, and by the look in his optics, he knew what would be asked sooner rather than later.

"Yep! Sunny was dragging his aft in here to get energon when I walked in." Blue giggled as Sides answered for Sunny.

"What are you doing up so early anyway?" Sunstreaker grumbled lightly as his optics flicked to Jazz who'd not said a word. It wasn't like the special ops officer to stay so quiet.

"What? Aren't I allowed to get up early and hope for my twin brother to return soon?" Sideswipe put effort into making himself look hurt as he pulled away and pressed a hand dramatically to his chest plate. If he had eyes, he would be rolling them right now.

"Hn." He was too tired for this. Pushing past them, he decided to just give up and let them bother him, but he'd be sitting for it. Dropping into a chair, he caught the worried look from Bee.

"Did.. did it go badly? You don't seem very happy." The little yellow minibot questioned softly as he sank into the seat across from Sunstreaker. To his right, Jazz sat as well never moving that visored gaze from the yellow twin. It was beginning to get unnerving.

"I didn't say that."

"Well, he's right; you look like you're fragged off." Dropping into the seat next to him, Sides leaned forward onto the table and watched his brother curiously.

"No, if I were, I wouldn't be talking to you rejects." Sunny glared at the cube he'd already drank half of and sent Jazz a sideways glance. "What's your problem?"

"Nothin', just curious is all." The normal buoyant tone was there, but the smile wasn't nearly as convincing. "Prowl told me he took ya to the marble caves, was a little surprised he picked that."

"Caves?" Sides spoke up this time in surprise then fell silent almost immediately afterwards. On the other hand Blue and Bee lit up like lightbulbs.

"Caves? Why would he take you there?" Blue asked excitedly.

"Were they really pretty?" Bee's expression was almost identical to the gunner's as he added on. He had to admit, it didn't feel bad to have this attention. Sunny liked people to notice him, and even if he didn't care to have his relationship on display, they weren't being malicious.

"Dear Primus, he took you out into the dirt and grime? Underground?!" All optics rose to the figure that was walking toward them. Gleaming blue paint was the first give away to who it was. Sunny glared at Tracks mildly not missing the narrowed optics of his twin.

"Go away, Tracks. I didn't hear any of us inviting you to the conversation." Sides bit out the words to Tracks with little love or care to how they came off.

"No, but I figured the sheer volume and noise of those two was invitation enough for the whole Ark to join in." Jabbing a finger in the general direction of Blue and Bee, he sneered at Sides. "Haven't you had enough of this degradation, Sunstreaker? Just look at the dirt on your paint!"

"Some things are more important then paint, Tracks." Blue answered indignantly not even giving Sunny the time to answer. They were ridiculous. He could talk for himself, and if he weren't tired, he'd tell them all to just shut it. "You'd know that if you found out that loving yourself wasn't such a waste of time. And believe me, it is."

"Yes, to someone as plain as you, I suppose that would be true." Tracks threw back smoothly causing Blue's door wings to rise defensively.

"Tracks, it'd be best if ya jus' moved along, alright?" Jazz spoke calmly giving the sports car a level look. It was rare that Jazz took that tone, an even less frequent that his lips pressed into such a hard line. After a moment, Tracks finally shrugged his shoulders and glared at them.

"Whatever. Like I'd degrade myself with this lot anyway." Waving a hand flippantly, he turned to walk away. "Tell your third class boyfriend to mind his tastes, Sunstreaker. Cause you'll get tired of him faster if he keeps up being so ridiculously bland."

Sunstreaker felt the rush of anger as he shot to his feet. "You little piece of…" He didn't get to finish as he felt hands grabbing one of his forearms. Shooting a glare at the one holding on, he was a bit surprised to see Jazz's face.

"Look… fragged off as I am at that glitch… Prowl doesn' need t'be shovin' his lover in the brig this early in the game. Got it?" Sunny glared at Jass before finally letting it go and sinking back into his chair with a growl. "Thank you."

Snorting in disgust he sent daggers through the cube on the table with his gaze alone. Where did that sorry excuse for a sports car get off calling Prowl third class? By his side, he realized his brother hadn't moved. The red Lamborghini kept his optics on Tracks across the room and the shade of blue seemed to take on an icy appearance.

"Pit spawn is just jealous." Finally speaking, Sideswipe growled out his words and looked back to the others.

"Jealous? What do you mean?" Bee was the first to speak up, his optics wide with curiosity.

"Nothing. Sides is just being overly suspicious and over thinking things." Grumbling again, he didn't miss the look that Sides and Jazz exchanged as he spoke. "Look… give me the third degree later… I am tired. I want to recharge." Rising to his feet, he waited to make sure no one would protest then started walking away.

As he headed for the door, he caught Tracks' optics and glared at him darkly. The returned expression was full of angered frustration before he looked away. For a moment there, he believed his brother wasn't really over thinking all that much.

--+--

"Did everything go as planned?" Prowl inclined his head to the leader at his side. Giving one sharp nod, he looked back at Teletraan and watched the readouts with keen interest. "Are you happy?"

"Happy?" The SIC stopped at this question and turned to face his superior with curiosity tinting the way his doorwings rose. "Yes… I think that would be the best way to put it. It's certainly a different feeling. More than content…"

"More than content?" Prime gave a soft chuckle at the explanation and shook his head. "That is definitely something you would say my friend. Well then, if that is the case, I can't help but give my blessing now. It's not everyday someone can convince you to take time off."

"He didn't… convince me, sir." A little perplexed at the thought, he tried to think of how Sunstreaker had 'convinced' him to plan the night before.

"Of course not. Granted, even now when you should be resting, you are in here. I suppose you still have a ways to go." It had been an hour since he'd returned with Sunny, and since then he'd been with Prime as he made his rounds. It came so easily to him to fall into routine. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't tired. But work and duty had always been such a large part of his everyday life that it couldn't just be pushed aside.

"I've gone days without sleeping, sir. This is no inconvenience."

"I had a feeling you would say that." Amusement colored Optimus' optics as he nodded his head and rocked a little on his heels.

"Ah, c'mon now Prime, you knew he wouldn't change. Good thing too, it was frightenin' enough that he took leave to go on a date an' what not!" Ironhide grinned from where he sat at the computer. Leaning one arm over the back of his chair, the weapons technician looked at his superiors with amusement. "Not ta mention the whole Ark has gone nuts now with Sides back an prankin'. That an catchin' Jazz makin' moves on Wheeljack."

"What?" Prowl looked at the red mech in stunned disbelief. "What happened?"

"Oh, it seems while Jazz and Wheeljack were on duty last night, Ironhide claims he caught Jazz 'flirting' with him." Though he didn't laugh, Prime looked on the verge as he kept his gaze straight forward.

"I saw it, I tell ya! 'Jack was workin' on Teletraan and Jazz was all leanin' over him too close for comfort!" Ironhide pointed to the spot as illustration.

"You're just seein' things old man." The new voice caused the three in the conversation to turn their head's to the figure leaning against the door frame. Jazz had his arms crossed over his bumper, a smirk painted over his lips. "Every one knows I like to play around a bit."

Prowl looked at his close friend curiously. For vorns people swore that Jazz had his sights set on him, but Prowl had been sure all that time that they didn't know anything. But now that the rumors shifted, he was a bit surprised.

"What's the look, Prowler? Jealous?" The Porsche grinned at this, looking too excited at the idea. Ironhide nearly fell from his chair in hearty laughter as Jazz sauntered into the room and leaned on Prowl's shoulder. "I'm flattered!"

"Off." A doorwing flicked in annoyance as he moved away from Jazz. The escape was difficult though since Prime blocked his other side. "Stop being foolish. You only show interest in me because you know I won't react to it."

"Nice t'know ya have me down so well, Prowlie." The other drew out the hated nickname ducking on impulse as Prowl rounded to glare at him.

"Seriously?" Ironhide was still grinning as he watched the officers. He's never even thought about it in that way. "Regardless, I know he was bein' much more assertive with 'Jack. Too bad for ya that 'Jack's a bit slow on the uptake."

"Man! No kiddin'! I mean…" Jazz stopped in mid sentence as though he'd realized an error then laughed. "Whatever, man, it's not like anything's gonna happen!"

"Don' say that! Said the same thing when I tried to catch Ratchet." The weapons specialist's optics went distant a moment as he smiled. "That mech's the biggest work-aholic I've ever seen in th'universe. Granted after you get through to him, you find out he's got spunk an' quite a history of fun lovin'."

"So, wasn't easy catching the medic, eh?" Jazz snickered and Prowl knew it was because he was trying to picture Ratchet as a partying type.

"Not at all! But that's half the fun! But sure took 'im long 'nough to realize I was pursuin' him." Huffing slightly, the red mech jerked his head to Prowl. "Not to mention that crazy yella' charge of mine barely had to break a circuit to catch Mr. Work and No Play over there. Rather unfair, I tell ya!"

That had Prime chuckling this time. He'd chosen to stay out of the conversation, but Prowl had found out quickly that Prime always listened. Now as he laughed, Jazz took it as permission to get away with it as well. Except he was nearly rolling on the floor with laughter. Doorwings flicked and flared a little as he ignored them as best he could. If he wanted to know about Jazz's pursuits, he'd ask later. He'd hoped to stay out of the conversation much like his leader, but it seemed he'd been thrown right back into it.

"Man! You're right! Didn' even think of that! Sunshine didn't even have t'try! Prowlie did all the work." Jazz barely got the words out as he laughed making Ironhide join in the laughter as well.

"All right, all right, enough you two." Prime tried to calm them down, but it wasn't the most effective when he was still chuckling softly. "We do have work to do."

"Sorry bout that Prime. Can't help but want ta break the mundane a bit." Grinning cheekily, Ironhide turned back to his work and focused on the screen tapping back into his surveillance work.

"Thank you…" Prowl mumbled to him without looking up at Prime. It wasn't like that. He'd not actively pursued Sunstreaker, and the opposite didn't happen either. Thinking about it threatened his logic center so he'd never given it that much thought. The simplest way to put it was that it just happened.

"It's fine, Prowl." The leader nodded to him and moved to clasp his hands behind his back. "But you shouldn't let it get to you either."

"Yes sir." His words were quiet as he watched Jazz move to his station and begin pulling up reports and intelligence. "I'm… a bit surprised he didn't say anything to me."

"You've been rather busy, Prowl. I'm sure he didn't want to bother you with it." The Autobot leader set smiling optics on his second and shook his head. "I'm sure there is nothing for you to worry about. And simple questioning on your part will probably get better results if you don't haven an audience."

Prowl could only nod. It wasn't like Jazz not to tell him about his interests. He'd had to spend hours in the past just listening to the other go on and on about favorite music and dances that this world had to offer. The idea of the other having a love interest and not mentioning it was just a touch disconcerting. But then, he'd not really told Jazz about his own… the other had figured it out. Was he so inattentive?

"Hey Prime! The local authorities said they got a call in. Seems they have someone stranded out in the desert and they don't have the man power to go pick 'em up. They want to know if we can lend 'em a hand." Jazz spoke up, the accent only barely touching his tone when he went into professional mode.

"Did they send the coordinates?"

"Yes sir! I have them right here. So, should we send a patrol out?"

"I'll do it." All attention was back on Prowl as he looked to Prime. "There is no need to break the routine with our patrols. I'd be the best to go. My alt form would be something identifiable to a human as it is."

"Now, Prowl… aren't you s'posed to be off duty till this evenin'?" Ironhide chimed in causing Prowl to shake his head.

"There is no point in me being idle."

"Very well. Give the details to Prowl, Jazz. Radio us if you need any back up for any reason." Prime nodded to the special ops officer then to Prowl. "Be careful."

"Yeah, man. Don't over do it or nothin'." Grinning again, Jazz moved to slap a datapad in Prowl's hand. "Take care, Prowler."

Giving a nod to Prime and Jazz, he turned to go. "I'll be back."

--+--

"Where ya going, Prowl?" Sideswipe trotted up beside the SIC as he headed for the exit. He'd already gone through the information for the simple mission and was ready to go.

"Answering a human distress call." He glanced at the young warrior and noticed the strained look to his normal amiable smile. "Did you need me?"

"Ah… no sir." Stopping at the exit, he reached back and rubbed the back of his helm. "Guess I just wanted to say to be careful and all. Need me to come along? I don't go on patrol till tomorrow night with Sunny. I can go with you, no problem."

"That's not necessary. I'm just going to collect the civilians and take them to the nearest town. It's a simple task." The worry didn't seem to leave Sideswipe's optics and he couldn't understand why. "Are you sure you don't need something?"

"Nah… just… be careful alright?" Sighing, the red Lamborghini waved a black hand in parting.

"Of course. Thank you for your concern." Hesitating only a moment longer, he transformed and accelerated in the direction of the coordinates. Something in his spark stirred uncomfortably as he realized Sides remained standing in the exit, the false smile gone. Worry etched itself over his face before he finally dropped his head and turned to go inside.

He'd have to talk with him when next he had a moment. It was probably something to do with Sunstreaker. Nothing else could work Sideswipe up that much otherwise.

--+--

"Why are we here again?!"

Perched on a rock, the black and purple seeker swung his foot out to kick at a loose stone with a soft snort. The shrill sound of the Decepticon SIC's voice behind him was becoming common place. The only other sound was the monotone reply from the communications officer as he surveyed the area.

"Interception of a call from this location to the human authorities."

Skywarp sighed and placed an elbow on his knee, bending his arm to rest his chin in his hand with a scowl. How Soundwave had such patience was beyond him. He was still rather convinced that the communications officer didn't have a personality at all until he saw how concerned he could be with his cassettes.

"And what do we care about the affairs of humans?!"

Starscream could be heard pacing as he as his voice grated on his audios like sand paper. Sometimes even he couldn't take listening to the air commander for very long. Dragging his optics over the red sandy landscape, he was overwhelmed by unending boredom. He'd agreed to come along for something to do, there'd been no memo informing him there'd be less to do here.

"Encryption and frequency not indigenous to this planet."

Soundwave had told him that five times already. Skywarp came for that reason. He'd hoped that the Autobots would come. Or at least, one or both of the ones he wanted to settle a score with. After the humiliation he'd gone through for being defeated twice by Sunstreaker and once by the fragging strategist… he was not pleased.

"So… we're seeing if the Autobots are involved. Why would an Autobot trick the humans? It's stupid and pointless!"

Why hadn't he just stayed home? He'd rather find some way to piss off Hook. There were millions of pranks he could pull on Starscream if he'd stayed back at the base as well. Instead he was there, his processor aching from all the outbursts from the one he could have been tormenting.

"Megatron wanted a report."

There was a sound of disgust from Starscream, and he looked back just long enough to see him grip at his helm in frustration. Leave it to Soundwave to point out the logical point of their being there. Grumbling under his breath, he looked back out over the desert and caught a flicker of light off metal. Squinting a bit, he caught the blue paint of a figure as it moved over the desert floor. A sports car? Definitely an Autobot.

"I knew you'd say that you glitched piece of machinery!"

Skywarp had the urge to shove dirt in his superior's mouth, but he was more interested in the Autobot that was quickly hiding himself. Something caught his gaze and he looked to the side just in time to see something flicker into view. It looked like a hologram of a broken down jeep with a human pacing frantically. What in the name of the Primal Source was that Autobot up to?

"The Autobots are sending someone."

"Well, Primus be praised," was the only sneered response. "Who?"

"Autobot, designation Prowl."

The black and purple jet perked up even though he didn't look back at the other two. Prowl? Oh… he couldn't get any luckier if he'd planned it! Thank Primus all this torture was paying off! That was the only reason he'd keep his little discovery to himself. Let them argue, he'd wait till Prowl got there.

"Prowl? Isn't that their second in command and military tactician?"

"Affirmative."

Starscream went quiet, but Skywarp could imagine the sound of the circuits firing up in thought. Ignoring this, he searched the ground for more clues about what the Autobot not far away was doing. Staring hard at the ground, he suddenly saw a glint. It was so faint, he almost missed it. If he'd not been looking, it never would have been seen. Nails? It was at least something of the sort, hidden all around the hologram in the desert soil. Was it a prank? If it was, this was more elaborate than even he was willing to pull.

"Well, this may be worth my effort after all."

"Orders?"

Yes, Starscream was right. It very well might be worth the effort.

"We wait. I want to capture that Autobot. For questioning…" Skywarp swung his head about to look at his SIC and frowned at the look of malicious glee on his face. That was never a good sign for anyone when the air commander got that look on his face. But then, better the Autobot than himself. Even if he couldn't exact revenge, then Starscream would do more than just that.

Shaking his head, he shrugged and went back to watching the horizon. Not long after, he saw the dust from another approaching vehicle. Behind him, Starscream was scheming and occasionally scolding Soundwave as he did so. Both were too occupied with each other to see the sleek black and white Datsun driving closer. He wanted to see what would happen. Call it morbid curiosity. But then, he wanted to live.

"Screamer. Look." With a bored tone, he waved off in the direction of the approaching Autobot only to hear him shriek with glee.

"Good work, Skywarp! Now, when he gets closer we'll…"

"Starscream, scanners indicate a second presence. Attempt to cloak itself failed." Soundwave moved beside them, standing straight and still.

"Yeah, he's over there." Pointing over at the outcropping of rock formations, he hurried to add before Screamer could point his null ray at him. "He's setting up the other Autobot! Look!"

All optics moved to the hologram curiously and it stopped the SIC from punishing his wing mate. "I see…"

"Can we wait and see? Might make our job easier?" Wincing at a sharp glare from the air commander he didn't relax until Starscream nodded his head with a snap.

"Fine. Wait till he gets there, then we'll attack."

Watching Prowl draw closer and closer, Skywarp couldn't help the wince as the loud sound of a blow out reached his audios. Shreds of rubber flew out into the cloud of dust as the Datsun swerved and spun out of control. He could tell just by the motions that Prowl was trying not to hit the 'human', but as the momentum threw the Autobot into a 360, he rammed into the hologram. The image shattered and dispelled leaving the patrol car to sit in the settling dust.

"That was priceless! You're right Skywarp! That was worth the wait." To his left, he heard Starscream cackle uncontrollably. Finally the gleam in red optics flared to life. "Soundwave. Status of the other Autobot."

"Still hiding, sir. Autobot Prowl is more valuable to the Decepticons. Detainment is necessary."

"I know that! But it seems our prankster doesn't want to get caught. Good. Come along. We have an Autobot officer to capture." Grinning darkly, he took off into the air, turbines and engines whining and churning to life. Soundwave was close at his heels. Shrugging, he too took off and zeroed in on the crippled Autobot. Prowl had been attempting to transform carefully and he'd just managed when he saw the Decepticons heading his way. Jerking to pull his rifle out, he tried to dodge a blast from Soundwave's blaster.

Skywarp watched with another wince as he stepped onto more of the shrapnel like sharp edges hidden in the sand. From the sudden leak of bright energon on the sand, he knew he'd punctured metal on his foot. Stumbling, he couldn't dodge the hit from the null ray sending him flying back into the outcropping of rocks.

"Surrender Autobot slag! You're outnumbered and injured!" The shrill sound of Starscream's voice overshadowed the sound of their engines as he landed carefully in front of Prowl, the null ray pointed point blank into the dazed Autobot's face. Skywarp landed on the edge of the shrapnel, he'd let Starscream do the work. This was a little too hit and run even for him. In truth, it wasn't even their victory. Turning sharp red optics to the rocks, he caught the sudden flash of blue metal as the other Autobot tried to avoid his gaze. One couldn't help but wonder what the other was thinking. Would he tell his fellow Autobot's that he caused the demise of their precious strategist?

"I'd never go down easily." The soft response drew his optics back to the two second in commands as they faced off. In the flicker of an optic, one leg swept gracefully outward hooking the air commander's knees. With a loud screech, Starscream stumbled to the ground only to have a white fist slammed into his cheek.

Prowl jumped to his feet, the slight shift in weight showing favor to the good leg. Doorwings flared on his back as he kept a wary optic on Soundwave and Skywarp before looking at his rifle too far out of reach. Starscream was rising to his feet and tried to fire again, but this time an upper cut movement knocked the arm up causing him to miss the shot. Skywarp fancied that in a one on one, Prowl would win against his commander. But not here, and not now. Before Starscream could even call out for aid, Soundwave had already pointed his blaster and took a shot. The first tore through a doorwing and the second singed his back as he moved out of the way of a critical shot.

Even wounded and in pain, Prowl never made a sound. Sinking to one knee, the Autobot panted softly as he subconsciously reached back to touch at the base of the injured door wing. Starscream finally made it to his feet and kicked dirt angrily into the other's face.

"Stupid fool! You Autobots don't know when to lay down and die! Your own comrade set you up! Do you think anyone will come? Soundwave! Jam his communications. Skywarp! Get your useless aft over here and keep him still!" Starscream panted as he glared darkly at Prowl who remained unmoving on his knee.

Jolting into motion, he ran forward to his superior and the Autobot and turned his head at the sound of a high performance engine roaring to life. The sound even made Prowl look up in something close to surprise. All but Soundwave watched as a blue Corvette took off into the desert at high speed to get away.

"Tracks…?" Skywarp looked from Prowl to Starscream hesitating to follow his previous orders at this new predicament.

"Let the coward go! Tracks, huh? I'll be sure to thank that slag heap for handing you to me on a silver platter! I'm sure it'll be fun for him to explain that to your beloved Prime!" Spitting out the name like a curse, the air commander pulled a pair of energon cuffs from subspace and threw them at the black and purple seeker. "I told you to detain him!"

Prowl shifted, his face trained into a neutral expression as Skywarp approached him. The seeker nearly jumped out of his armor plating as Prowl moved his hand away from his injured doorwing. But if he'd planned to do more than that, he stopped as Starscream jammed his null ray into one of the Autobot's cheeks hard. Taking that as a hint to get moving, he scurried into action and locked down the Autobot's wrists into the cuff. Optics caught sight of the energon that slid down Prowl's back and side and dripped to the ground. It looked bad, but the mech wasn't even moving like it hurt.

This one wasn't normal. Not in comparison to most of the Autobots. Moving back, he watched his commander move in and grab harshly at Prowl's chin yanking his head to level their gazes.

"I'm going to have a lot of fun with you."

"Starscream. Should be reported to Megatron." Soundwave broke the concentration of the shrill voiced seeker causing him to glare at the communications officer dangerously.

"Later. I want to play with this one first. No one hits me and gets away with it!" The shriek was followed by the loud sound of metal slamming into metal. Skywarp's optics widened just marginally as Starscream's fist connected to a cheek with the full force of his body weight sending Prowl careening to the ground.

Harshly dented metal led to the slight crack in a blue optic that now glowed at a dimmer lighting that the other. It must have hurt. He'd been hit before much like that. He recalled crying out at the unexpected force, but Prowl didn't make a sound. After a moment, the uneven defiant gaze rose to Starscream as he shifted and rose back up to his knees. The moves were graceful and almost too at ease for someone who was injured and whose wrists were bound. Skywarp lifted his optics to Starscream, he saw that glint again and he shuddered. Nothing he could do in the name of revenge could even equal what he knew his superior officer was planning. And somewhere in his spark, he felt just a touch sorry for the Autobot for what was going to happen.

--+--

That day, he'd watched Tracks after he'd walked in on their conversation. He didn't like the way his optics had lingered on Sunny when he walked away. It was hard enough to accept his twin had a love interest, but that was something he could learn to deal with. He didn't have to like the leers from Tracks.

A name was never spoken in his suspicions, not until he'd sat there with Jazz after Blue, Bee, and Sunny had left. Jazz merely nodded to his thoughts, and soon he'd gone to search through the security tapes and records. It was the only way to place someone in the right place and prove his guilt. Sides would never be allowed to do so, that was the only reason he'd opened up to the Special Ops Officer.

But as he'd watched Tracks that day, the vain mech left the Ark. It troubled him. Tracks wasn't on duty today and he rarely left the Ark unless it was a carwash day or he went to hang around that human Raoul. And if that were the case, everyone in the Ark would have been told about his labors to stay beautiful or what he'd done with his friend. This was too quiet.

He let it go though. What else could he do? But when Prowl walked past him to the entrance, his spark clenched in fear. This wasn't good. Now he couldn't stand waiting any longer. Standing in the entrance of the Ark, he searched the horizon after sending a comm. to Ironhide once more to see if Prowl had reported. All there had been was radio silence. It was still too soon to be worried, but Sides had more reason to be upset.

Turning his head at the sound of a familiar set of footsteps, Jazz came to a stop beside him. The shorter mech nodded to him and crossed his arms over his bumper.

"He was gone that day Prowler was attacked with the water balloons. It wasn' a shift either. So he had no known reasons t'be out that we would know of. It wouldn' hurt t'check though."

"No one knew where he was. I already asked around." Both stood there solemnly before Sides finally moved to rub his optics. "I wish Prowl would just report in."

"What are ya goin' to do?"

"What can I do or what would I like to do? I'd like to kick the ever loving slag out of him is what." Snorting angrily, he crossed his chest. "Want to help?"

"If he did it, I'd love to. Shame I'm bound by position to not cause hate an' discontent in the ranks." Jazz gave a sigh, then looked at Sides. "But I'll pretend I saw nothin' if you hit 'im with only me around."

"Thanks. I'll need it." Grumbling slightly, he lifted his head at the sight of two bots coming in. The fact that there were two meant it was not Prowl. As they drew closer he saw his brother's paint shine in the evening sunlight next to Bluestreak who seemed to sway a little as he drove. He could tell his young lover was chattering away at Sunny through the comm. and sighed. Normally he'd find it cute, but tonight was different.

"Are ya going to tell 'im?" Sides merely shrugged at Jazz's question as Blue and Sunny came to a stop. Transforming, the two moved over to the officer and the red twin looking a touch curious.

"What's got you glitching?" Sunny glared at his twin mildly, it was a look that told him to call his lover off before he pinned his doorwings to the Ark.

Shifting to take Blue's wrist, he stopped in mid motion at the sight of more dust flying up from the speeding form of a car. At first he couldn't tell who it was, but as he caught hints of blue, his energon boiled in his fuel lines. Pushing past his twin and lover, he marched out toward the speeding vehicle that slammed on the breaks, the momentum kicking his tail end out skidding the Corvette sideways toward the red Lamborghini.

In a rush, the other Autobot transformed and looked at the warrior in utter panick. Before sound could emit from his vocalizer, Sides couldn't take the rush of anger any longer. He'd meant to bring the charges to him first, but in the end, he didn't care to justify himself and be talked out of it. In one fluid motion his fist flew forward and caught the vain mech in the optic. A sickening cracking sound filled the air.

Tracks gave a sharp cry and fell backward to the ground with a crash. Sideswipe had every intent to follow him down and punch again. Before he could lay into the blue mech one more time, a smaller form grabbed him about the waist struggling vainly to stop him. Looking down, he glared at Bluestreak but didn't keep moving forward. Returning his look to Tracks, he growled.

"I know you've been doing that stuff to Prowl! You stupid fragger! Where is he?!" His voice grew louder as he yelled at Tracks, who struggled to sit up. Tracks wasn't one to back down, but it didn't register that he wasn't fighting back. His optic was shattered as he looked up with one eye at Sideswipe. But the sudden panicked voice made all the mechs look up in shock.

"He has him! Starscream has Prowl!"

Sideswipe stared in shocked horror at the blue mech, his hands falling lifelessly to his side. Before he could even react, he could feel the sudden fear and anger rolling off of his brother to his right.

"You…. You stupid pit spawn slagger! This is your fault!" Roaring out, he broke away from Blue barely noticing that Sunny was lunging at the same time. The last thing he heard before all three collided was Jazz's pleading voice.

"Stop! We don' have time for this! SIDES! SUNNY!"

He should have gone with him. He should have made Prowl let him come along. Primus… how did it turn out this way?

_Now, don't hang on  
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky  
It slips away  
And all your money won't another minute buy  
Dust in the wind  
All we are is dust in the wind…_

-Finé-


	20. The Breaking Point

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **R

Notes: Be prepared for a very disturbing mind game. This will be littered with flashbacks and internal thoughts. I will do thoughts in italics and will denote flashbacks. This will all be done from Prowl's POV. I am planning it as mostly a play on psychological darkness. But there will be non-con. Cry with me for Prowl. T-T Sunny/Prowl, Sides/Blue, Hide/Ratchet… Thanks Okami-chan for beta'ing!

**Warnings: **This will be VERY dark and awful of me. Prowl will be horridly abused both mentally and physically. There will be non-consensual in this with Screamer/Prowl.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Haunted" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Poe and HasTak respectively.

_Come here  
Pretty please  
Can you tell me where I am  
You, won't you say something  
I need to get my bearings  
I'm lost  
And the shadows keep on changing_

_And I'm haunted  
By the lives that I have loved  
And actions I have hated  
I'm haunted  
By the lives that wove the web  
Inside my haunted head…_

-Haunted by Poe-

--Flashback--

The air hummed within a room of computers. A few mechs and femmes hovered over consoles uncaring of the small childlike figure standing in the room. Gleaming silver and black armor caught and reflected the dimly lit screens seeming to highlight silver features in a blue glow. Arched black wings stood from his back flicking occasionally to the sound or motion of those in the room.

"Nightstalker." Dull optics rose to glance at the lithe but tall mech that stood beside him. "Why are you in here?"

Shaking his head slowly, the youngling looked back to the computer screens. "Watching them."

"Why?" The elder inclined his head curiously before moving to usher the child from the control room. "You were told to study."

"Isn't it logical to know the motions and actions of others?" Nightstalker's voice was soft and intent as the mech easily guided him back to the small featureless room.

"There are many things that are important to learn. But I think you're focusing on the wrong areas right now." The deceivingly calm and unaffected response accompanied a gentle push of the youngling into his seat. "Such as how to rein your reactions."

A hand moved to the younger's doorwing causing him to flinch it away without even having to see it. The elder mech smirked as those young optics widened marginally, realizing his error. Fingers suddenly pressed into the sleek black metal denting into it with painful force. The mech watched the youngling's face as he held tight. "Nightstalker… you flinched."

"But… how do you not react to pain?" The sound from the vocalizer by all appearances seemed normal, but the mech caught that underlying strained tone.

"You learn. You'll learn that any means necessary can be used to distract your processor from pain. In the split second of reaction, you give way to weakness, and you leave an opening. And you know from experience that there are some that only need that short span of an astrosecond." Ever calm and serene, the mech dug his fingers in deeper watching the child try hard not to flinch or try to pull away.

"Is there… a way to practice?" There was the slightest hint of hesitance in the child's voice as he stared at the bare table with a few neatly stacked datapads he'd been studying before.

"Yes. You inflict pain on yourself." Cold, icy words came just before the grip on his hand. Deft, strong fingers ran over the child's causing him to repress a shudder. Instantly he gritted his dental plating together as the shock of pain along with the creaking that led to a snap filled his audios. Looking detached and distant, the child looked down at the broken digit in his teacher's grasp.

Lips parted as he pulled in air through his intakes. This action resulted in the next digit being snapped backward and out of joint. Internal systems roared through processes but this time he gave no outward appearance of pain.

"Good… don't react." It was a low purr that punctuated the third screech followed by a snap. "Never react."

--End Flashback--

"Megatron must be told." The monotone held an edge of metallic whine as the communications officer pressed once more for Starscream to listen. But from his spot kneeling on the dirt, he watched blankly as the air commander paced and growled in irritation.

"I see you're paying attention again." Starscream sneered as he leered ever closer to his face. Without so much as lifting an optic ridge, Prowl refuse to give him any response. "Fool…"

"Starscream." Soundwave pressed again resulting in the seeker to reel on him and glare in anger mixed with extreme irritation.

"We will, you worthless glitch! But after I'm done making him pay for hitting me. No one is allowed to get away with that!" The seeker snarled at a whining pitch making Prowl suddenly wondered at the tactics the seeker used to maintain his point of authority. "Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir." Soundwave finally acquiesced in that same unchanging tone and forced himself to relax. Prowl watched him from the corner of his good optic as he refocused on the matter at hand. For eons he'd locked out memories of that time. Memories he'd only kept as a reminder to himself why he had chosen his path in life.

Distraction.

That was the simple answer to controlling your actions when pain was involved. In response to all of the injuries that now seeped energon slowly down planes of white and black metal, Prowl had been forced to find the first train of thought to cling to desperately. Unfortunately, circumstances directed his thought processes to the past when they encouraged him to find the most preferred method. The chosen method had been tactics and strategies.

Drawing his gaze with a slowness that was unnoticeable, he observed those present. Soundwave almost seemed to sulk in his silence, standing at perfect attention with his blaster in hand. Skywarp hung back trying to pretend he was looking anywhere but at the Decepticon prisoner and his second in command. On the other hand, Starscream circled him like a lion about its prey. The glint in his crimson optics boded ill for him. Unlike his past where none showed their feelings, Starscream displayed them in triumph.

"Are you ignoring me, Autobot?" Starscream leaned forward, fingers sliding along the inner panels of his doorwings, fingers purposely dipping into the wound.

"On the contrary…" Prowl's voice was even as his mind calculated his odds of escape. Skywarp seemed as though he wished to be else where. That was one positive in the equation. "I'm very aware of you."

"I don't believe you!" Snarling in distaste, the fingers in the wound dug in then ripped back shredding the paneling as he did so. Energon hit the desert floor with muted plops while more ran down cobalt fingers. "Scream! I know it hurts!"

_If I find a way to off balance Starscream… my main concern would be Soundwave._

"Pay attention! What are you so distracted!" Prowl pushed the sound of the raving air commander into simple background noise. It was simply used to place his position, the actual words were unimportant.

_Something else… focus on something else._

The pain had been excruciating. It had sent up red warning alarms in his vision, but he'd ignored them with a will power he never realized he had. He wouldn't break. That was not an option.

"You will pay attention, Autobot." Starscream was suddenly in his line of vision hovering dangerously close again. Pushing his thumb slowly over the dent and abused cheek, the seeker pressed against the seam leading to his cracked optic. "You will not ignore me, the great Starscream."

_Something…. Anything… _

"Soundwave. Make yourself useful and be sure he doesn't move." Even though he couldn't turn his head, he could feel the slight air change as the blue communications officer pressed against his back. Fingers dug into his forearms as Prowl's attention returned to Starscream.

The already weakened vision of that optic suddenly grew darker. His processor only had a moment to realize that the seeker's thumb was pressed against the crack in his optic. Slowly, he saw the spider webbing of cracking glass until his vision glared red. Pain ran like a cascading tide from his optical sensory net to his main CPU. As it threatened to engulf him, eons of conditioning kicked in. Before he could let it overwhelm him, his processor tripped over a memory from the night before. He could see the look of frustration on a handsome face as Sunstreaker told him he loved him.

Air was pulled in sharply, soundlessly, making him realize his error. What was only a fine line crack in his careful exterior, released a wave of memories that darkened and pushed away the pleasant thoughts of his lover.

--Flashback--

Black metal caught the light in flashes of white as he danced out of reach with perfect steps. The younger dipped and caught the hits of each sweep of the elder mechs attacks. There was the perfect amount of give and take as he mostly defended.

"You're distracted." The mech caught the younger in the chassis, his tone cool and simple as he sent him flying through the room to bounce against the floor. "What is distracting you?"

Nightstalker lifted his body slowly from the floor, a door wing flicking to stretch the crinkle the impact had caused. Easily returning to his feet, he slid back into a fighting stance, his gaze on his teacher with a curious light.

"Sir… is there any pain that is unbearable?" Without a hitch in his breath, he was already in a flurry of motion defending as his teacher came forward aiming for every weak point. More of the blows slid past as the more experienced fighter attacked.

"You're not watching your flanks," was the calm response before he answered his question. "All emotions are a state of mind. So is pain. Some can even deceive their processors into believing that pain is pleasurable. You've heard the term."

"Yes. Masochism," Nightstalker responded softly as he tried to keep up. The effort his teacher made didn't even seem to make him miss a single note in his calm response. "One of the others screamed from torture."

The teacher's lips quirked ever so slightly in a grim smile as he caught the younger's helm and shoved him, hard face down into the floor. The clang echoed and ebbed away slowly as neither made a sound. Shifting, a knee pressed into the center of Nightstalker's back as the other hand gripped at his forearm and twisted it behind the younger at an awkward angle.

"That was violation. None are above stooping to that level to gain what they deem to be necessary from their victims." Without warning, the teacher snapped the younger's shoulder out of joint causing the small mech to stiffen. Rising to his feet, Nightstalker furrowed his brow a moment desperately pushing the reaction away before standing to his feet slowly. His motions were shaky and it made the older smirk. "You're shaking."

"Can it be blocked out? Violation?" Without meaning to, he reached up to touch his arm realizing he messed up. The older took the moment to grab him about the neck and shove him hard into the wall face first. Doorwings smashed and squealed in protest as the other pressed into him, but the younger didn't make a sound.

"Just like any other pain, you can block it out. If not, you will break." The low tone in his audio sent a shiver down his back. Heated exhaust slid over his audio as the teacher's larger form pressed into him fully in a sort of demonstration he didn't understand.

"What…. What will happen if you break?" As he voiced the question, he felt his spark clench in fear at what would be the response. Lips slid over his audio as a harsh whisper reverberated in the auditory sensors.

"You will no longer be useful." The words were slow, empty and cold. "When something is broken, it's no more than trash. Unacceptable and ready for the slag heap." With that, he felt the weight pull away from him and his form crashed to the floor with a resounding clatter.

Lifting himself up with his good arm, he turned his head to look at his teacher, but the mech had already left the room. Waiting only a moment, he worked through the haze of pain in his processor before curling in on himself while staying on his knees fighting off the shivers from repressed pain.

--End Flash back--

Emerging from the haze of his memories, the first thing he noticed was the way that Starscream twisted one side of his chevron clockwise with a scowl of irritation. His depth of field skewed from the use of only one optic, he couldn't tell just how close the other was to his face. But soon all of the memories were shoved to the background as he turned the red metal back clockwise weakening it to nearly breaking.

_I will not break._

"I don't like your lack of attention. And I certainly don't like your attitude," Starscream purred in irritation as he wretched the red metal downward at a ninety degree angle. In the wake of the action, he'd felt his processor misfire as he'd tried to flinch his arms. Sparks shot out from his arms and he discovered that no connections were being made to them. Even in the cuffs, his arms hung loosely against his sides. Tingles of painful electricity misfired and shot back to his motherboard. Wires had been snapped and broken in his shoulders while he'd been distracted in his thoughts.

Processor reeling to keep up with the multitude of pain receptors flaring to life, his vision swam as Starscream seemed to regard him thoughtfully. Prowl could still feel Soundwave pressed into his back, and the familiarity of such a cold presence reminded him of that teacher from so long ago.

"I think I'll have to try a different… more exciting tactic on you." Cobalt fingers slid over the edge of his helm and every fiber of his being wanted to yank away from that soft touch. It was too closely like those of yellow digits on his dermal plating…

_This isn't Sunstreaker…_

"Hey Screamer… is that… ya know… wise? Won't Lord Megatron…" Skywarp's nervous tone broke through the haze.

"Quiet you stupid glitch! Who are you to question me?! I'll do as I please and you can just watch if you're so against it!" Whirling back to look at Prowl, the Autobot stared at him blankly as he forced himself not to think about what was in store for him. "You're the first, Autobot… that I couldn't bring to tears. Not even a whimper. I don't know if you are simply unfeeling, or if you're insane."

The seeker smirked darkly as he traced his fingers along Prowl's jaw. In one sweeping motion, the hand seized his neck and dug into the pliable metal pressing hard into delicate wiring. Prowl remained unresponsive, his head moving back only slightly from the intruding appendage on his neck. Starscream pushed the tactician's head to the side and leaned in slowly sinking his dental plates into the once smooth curve of Prowl's neck.

For all of an astrosecond, Prowl's optic flared then dimmed again as metal tore from the force of the bite. The seeker hummed his approval as energon leaked from the damage and he lapped it up slowly, purposely laving his glossa against the wound. Prowl's processor seemed to chug sluggishly through the feelings. This wasn't simple pain, but rather pleasure spiked with pain.

Tensing his jaw, he fought back, trying hard to put his thoughts on other things. Floundering for something, he let his mind dwell on how this had happened. The image of Tracks fleeing the premises vivid in his thought process as a hand slid under his bumper and assaulted a sensor node under the armor. His mind blanked out as the fingers clenched the spot hard before being smoothed over confusing the pain with something morbidly pleasant.

"How long do you think you'll hold out?" The warm air that hit the wound on his neck threatened to make him shiver. But the tone of Starscream's voice reminded him of where he was. Every time his vision dimmed he was brought back to flashes of yellow and black… hands so strong but gentle…

_NOT Sunstreaker…_

"Let me hear your voice Autobot." Hands slid down his sides lingering on the burned dermal plating. It took all of his willpower not to shiver and pull away yet again. Undaunted, the hands dropped further to dig into his hips. Blue fingers slid under the seam and armor finding the joints easily. In one swift motion, they shoved into his joints breaking the contact of ball bearing to joint causing the legs to tense and tingle from the sensation.

Starscream knew his Cybertronian physiology. Grimly acknowledging that, he considered talking to the other, if only to prolong the inevitable. But maybe he could stop this… put it off until others came. Even if Tracks set him up… he'd tell them where he was. Prowl prided himself in knowing his men, and Tracks could be petty, but he wasn't spark-less as many thought Prowl was.

Once more his thoughts blanked out as one hand dug fingers under the seam of his codpiece. For a moment they danced and slid through sensory wiring before he caught that excited smile that twisted the air commander's lips. In a blinding flash of pain, he ripped the metal away revealing delicate wires and hyper sensitive nodes to air. He couldn't stop the gust of air that he released from his exhaust causing red optics to flare brightly.

"There we go… react for me Autobot. I won't give in till I hear you scream." Purring in delight, Starscream's hand dug into Prowl's exposed wiring and pressed hard into a node sending shocks of pleasure and pain into his motherboard. His body imperceptibly lowered from the staunch upright position. Had Soundwave not jerked him back to attention, he might not have realized what he'd done.

"Soundwave…" Starscreamed nearly crooned his words. "Shred the other door wing."

Prowl's head lifted in time to feel obedient fingers digging into the uninjured appendage. Unable to see what the communications officer was doing, he could only stare at the smirking face of the air commander as he leaned in. The squeal of metal ripping and tearing seemed so disembodied as Soundwave left four long gashes in his wake. The pain tore through him causing his vision to white out a moment after flickering. His body betrayed him as a fan kicked in to make up for the heating internals. That control, the perfect balance of his control was slipping away.

Staring blankly ahead, he ceased to see them any longer. His CPUs could no longer interpret and read his visual feed. Groggily he realized that Starscream was biting into his jaw as a hand slid into the joint of his knee. The seeker muttered something and soon the hand that was clutching at his doorwing moved to slide into the door hinges tweaking at the sensor center that lie there.

He needed something, anything to distract him. Nothing that had to make sense; he just needed something to draw him away from the present. Anything to keep his processor off the feeling of talented hands digging and denting into the dermal plating of his inner thighs. Something to make him forget the precise motions of the touch running down his back then drawing back to the hinges to tweak and pull in a manner that was bittersweet. Please…

An earth poem floated to the forefront of his processes in the haze of pain and pleasure he fought so hard against. He couldn't break.

_I have experienc'd… The worst, the World can wreak on me--the worst  
That can make Life indifferent, yet disturb…_

His voice echoed dully in his processor as he felt his knee joints manipulated and his legs shoved apart. The spark in his chest pulsed hard and angrily as he felt himself bodily dragged against the seeker. Only dimly did he register that Soundwave moved with him. The exposed circuits crackled and assaulted his sensory network as Starscream pressed his metal body against it.

_With whisper'd Discontents the dying prayer-- I have beheld the whole of all, wherein…_

In the droning sound, the words were hazing together as he felt the plating leading to his interface panel opening. The rush of air against the cable and port sent shivers through him as his lips suddenly parted without his knowing. A rough finger slid into his port and he jerked finding his form pressing harder into the blue Decepticon behind him.

My_ Heart had any interest in this Life, To be disrent and torn from off my Hopes  
That nothing now is left. Why then live on?_

The sound of a cable snapping into place caused him to give pause and shudder as a wave of data was poured into him. The unpleasant and cold invasion ripped through some minor firewalls leaving the tactician to pant and press further back into Soundwave. It was habit alone now that kept him from making a sound. It was his programming that kept him from collapsing from the strain on his pain threshold as Starscream pinched at the gyroscopic device in his calf shattering it. The sudden loss of data caused his equilibrium to tilt harshly off balance, causing his tank to turn dangerously.

_That Hostage, which the world had in it's keeping… Given by me as a Pledge that I would live—_

Starscream's engine purred, the rumbling of the sound shook his withering frame and upset already sensitized systems. Prowl felt the balance of battle computer and OS sliding away. It teetered and rocked out of his grasp as Starscream continued to roam through his programming sending a sensation of claws scratching over dermal plating. It filled his processor and caused him to jerk a little, his jaw clenching to resist letting out a single sound.

"Come now… you writhe so nicely. I want to hear you." Hands slid over his headlights and in an instant, fingers punctured the glass causing him to jerk again. "Just one scream. That's all I want."

_That Hope of Her, say rather, that pure Faith… In her fix'd Love, which held me to keep truce… With the Tyranny of Life--is gone ah ! whither ?_

No one was coming for him. And that delicate hold he somehow managed to keep on his control was about to snap. No… he wouldn't break. His processor flashed to a time when he'd sat hoping, longing for Sunstreaker to just look at him. To wake up and see that he wasn't alone. He'd been so patient, waited so long…

His head yanked back and crashed into Soundwave's shoulder as Starscream pinched hard at his interface cable. The other hand in the same moment moved to slide sensually, thoughtfully over the still whole headlight.

"Just one sound? Is that so hard?" The purr in his audio made his tank turn with disgust even though half of his body was too far gone to even want him so stop. And that knowledge… was what caused his battle computer to crash.

_What boots it to reply? 'tis gone ! and now… Well may I break this Pact, this League of Blood… That ties me to myself--and break I shall!_

It was like a building crashing in on top of him. The pain swept over him as Starscream shattered his other headlight causing him to writhe. A loud piercing sound invaded his audios as the poem drew to it's completion… there'd been no point in reciting it. His own subconscious had predicted the inevitable. For, as the excruciating overload roared through him, he realized… that sound had been his own scream.

One by one, systems began to shut down as red flashed in his vision. His pain threshold had been breeched. Slowly, the world went dark, and as he sagged, he fell freely to collide with the ground.

Broken.

He'd finally been broken. As the last of his systems cycled their shutdown sequence, all he could see was the last time Sunstreaker had walked away from him. His spark seemed to sink as he faded offline.

_Useless…_

_Come here  
No I won't say please  
One more look at the ghost  
Before I'm gonna make it leave  
Come here  
I've got the pieces here  
Time to gather up the splinters  
Build a casket for my tears_

_I'm haunted (By the lives that I have loved)  
I'm haunted (By the promises I've made)  
I'm haunted  
By the hallways in this tiny room  
The echos there of me and you  
The voices that are carrying this tune…_

-Finé-

The poem that Prowl is reciting is by Samuel Taylor Coleridge called "Despair".


	21. Two Steps Back

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG-13

**Notes:** This is going to be frustrating for all of us. I'd explain the method to my madness, but I find it more intriguing to see if others will understand. Sunstreaker/Prowl, Sideswipe/Bluestreak, Ironhide/Ratchet

**Special Note:** I'm sorry this took so long. It didn't help that I've been the last two weeks without power due to Hurricane Ike. But now I'm back and ready to go! Hopefully I'll get my act together from here on out.

**Warnings: **This will be mostly angst and heart wrenching fun. Not as bad as the last chapter, but bad.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Listen to Your Heart" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Roxette and HasTak respectively.

_I know there's something in the wake of your smile.  
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.  
You've built a love but that love falls apart.  
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark._

-Listen to Your Heart by Roxette-

A dust cloud rose from the desert floor tearing through the dry air much like a sandstorm in the Sahara. Only this was not caused by the wind. Fast rolling tires on the soft granules threw the rust colored substance in mass quantity as the force of Autobots followed the blue car in front. He kept pace so close to the blue warrior that something in the back of his processor said he could easily run into him. It didn't matter though. Getting to Prowl was what mattered. A destination only Tracks knew.

It had taken too long. Anger took over and his mind reflected on the tussle on the ground outside the Ark while Bluestreak yelled at them to stop. At some point, Jazz went to find Prime. It took Ironhide, Brawn, and Prime with a little help from Jazz to rip the three away from each other. All that precious time wasted on that piece of trash in front of him along with his untamable temper.

The entire drive was taking too long. What if Prowl wasn't there anymore? What if Starscream had already taken the SIC back to the Nemesis and they had nothing but flak left at the scene? Sunstreaker growled, his high performance engine snarling to life with a momentary burst of speed. In all the fighting, Tracks calmed down first where he'd wanted to pound the fragger further. Tracks pointed out that he could slag him later; Prowl was more important.

He hated it when that pit spawn was right. Especially right now. Pushing the guilt away, he saw the destination. In slow motion, his visual feed zoomed in and caught the slow fall of his lover as Starscream pulled away. Spark screaming in his processor with each pulse, he lost all coherent thought as he saw the damage.

Energon drained in bright streaks down black and white armor from shredded door wings and ripped cables. He couldn't see it clearly, not from this distance, but he could see enough. With the sounds of engines, wind, and traction on the ground roaring in his audios he couldn't be sure. But as Prowl fell, he thought he saw his lips part in what was probably a scream.

Electrical pulses began to ramrod their way through his circuits. He couldn't hold back. Accelerating his engine to a desperate pace, he felt the strain and didn't care. All focus lie on the air commander. Somewhere in the peripheral, he saw Skywarp look at them. The seeker gave noticeable pause before crying out to his commander.

Too little, too late. Cogs and gears ground in strained force of motion as joints twisted and turned. Sand and debris flew as he transformed, his feet plowing into the earth kicking most of it forward. The strain of struts squealed as he pushed forward sending him through the air straight into the Decepticon SIC. Metal crashed in dulled twangs and squeals of pain. All in a matter of seconds, pushed by the momentum, the air commander shrieked in anger.

Yellow fingers reached out and dug into a wing as the other formed a fist. Starscream gaped as blue hands clawed instinctively at his wrist. He felt nothing. The simple pound of electron pulses roared in his audios and the all consuming rage took over his sensors. Fist flying forward, he caught the face plate of one cheek hard. Pliable metal gave smoothly, easily, under the violent pressure. A smirk curled his lips as he registered the rip in the seam.

Tropical cerulean optics faded and bled out as the fingers in the wing flexed and curled. The give of metal rang in his audios next to the scream of anger from his foe. Systems long shifted into battle sequence coldly reining his control to destructive intent and nothing more. Rearing back, he'd planned to hit again focused solely on damaging, maiming, even offlining. Starscream fought back. One set of fingers ground into his wrist trying to pry the hand out of his wing. The other struggled to aim his null ray.

For a moment, the seeker almost leveled the weapon into his face. But as energy gathered in the barrel, a black hand snatched the arm. In highspeed motion, black and red skidded past his peripheral dragging the arm back in tandem. The shot went wild followed by a sickening crack of a ball bearing snapping out of joint. Sideswipe didn't stop. For a brief moment, surprise flickered in bleached out optics.

The red warrior's lips pressed into a hard thin line as he skidded to a halt behind the air commander. His helm was held at a slight angle as narrowed optics rose just enough to glare coldly into the back of Starscream's head. Sunstreaker had not seen that expression in his brother's optics before.

Sideswipe never before looked colder.

The arm screeched at the awkard angle the red twin twisted it into. Likewise he nearly shivered in appreciation of that shriek from the vocalizer of their target. It didn't stop him from fighting back. Starscream kicked out, catching the yellow one in the side with force knocking the hand away from the wing. Sideswipe growled in response and jerked hard at the arm tearing cables as Starscream stumbled past him to the desert floor.

Sunstreaker rose to his feet and snarled down at the seeker before launching past his twin to catch the off balanced Decepticon. Something told him to pull his weapon, but all he wanted was the feel of metal giving under his fists. Slamming his fist into the juncture of neck and chest, he felt his engine purr as Starscream's vocalizer glitched.

Starscream shoved against him hard writhing to get one of his null rays up again to take aim as he wedged a knee between their chests. Sunstreaker refused to budge as the hand uncurled to press dangerously into the soft flexible metal of his neck. Even as the air commander rolled them on the ground, he didn't let go. A black hand caught the barrel of the seeker's null ray and he heard the screaming protest of metal. Sideswipe was ripping it completely off, slowly.

The Decepticon screamed again, trying to say something. He could tell from the vibrations under his hand as his fingers clamped down on the surroundings of his vocalizer. He never liked Starscream's voice anyway. Narrowing his optics, he tightened his grip with agonizing slowness as the sound of blasters rang in his audio. Yet, the sweetest sound was the tearing shriek of metal and the crackle of wires being snapped.

"--not responding!"

What? Optics flashed at those words. For a split second, he pictured a face, Ratchet. That voice belonged to Ratchet. Fingers flexed and caused Starscream to shriek brokenly in agony.

"--Scans! Critical--!" Just behind the seeker, black digits halted in their gradual pulling on the null ray. A split second later, Sideswipe's optics found his own.

Starscream caught that hesitation. Pushing up, he fired off the partially dislodged weapon and grazed the side of the red twin's helm causing him to stumble back. Sunstreaker released his grip as he finally registered the pain of a knee slamming into his hip. The seeker staggered to his feet and began to move away fast.

"R-r-trea--!" Vocalizer glitching, Starscream called for retreat as his processor began to clear. The fog settled and extreme panic swelled in his spark. Thoughts of pursuit died with Ratchet's next words.

"I'm losing him! We have to get out of here! NOW!"

Sunstreaker rose slowly and turned to look in that direction to see the pool of energon swelling about his lover on the desert floor. His systems drained of energy and threatened to seize up as something cold grew in his spark. The retreating forms of Skywarp and Soundwave never once occurred to him as he shakily stood to his feet.

One step. Two. Stumbling turned to a full out sprint. In the back of his processor, he heard the mirrored steps of his brother. But all he saw was the mess that lie on the ground where he came to a stop. Sinking to his knees, Sunstreaker scanned his gaze over the damage. Glowing mud squelched into his knee joints, and his tank turned as he realized what was making the mud.

Dents, abrasions, and torn dermal plating littered the form that always seemed so graceful. Black and white was stained with streaks of fresh and dried energon. Ratchet worked so fast, but with every clamp applied another line seemed to bleed out. Traveling his gaze up, he stared with wide optics at the one shattered optic. A shadow fell over him as he leaned forward, reaching out to touch that cheek.

It never made it.

"Sunstreaker! Don't get in the way!" A red hand slapped his own away. Drawing back as though stung, he fought the urge to purge his tanks as the feeling of déjà vu hit him hard. Ratchet scowled and finally yelled again. "Prime! Get him into me after I transform. I can't do anything else here!"

"No…" Not again. Seeing Prime coming closer, his spark tightened. No, this can't happen again. His processor flashed images of years ago… of torn red, white, and black metal being collected and pushed into Ratchet's alt form.

As the leader of the Autobots knelt to carefully pick Prowl up, he felt his body moving to stop him. Before he could make contact with the limp form of his lover, strong arms locked about his waist. Struggling, he didn't care who dared to stop him. The rhythmic match to his spark pulse fluttered quickly in time with his own.

"Let me go!" Sunstreaker wanted to turn. He wanted to hit his brother for this. Growling, he pulled in what looked like anger at his twin's arms. In truth… it was panic. Fear clawed its way into his spark as Prime closed the back of the ambulance.

Sideswipe said nothing. The eerie silence and lack of comfort from his twin grated on him as he continued to try to get away. He couldn't think straight… he couldn't stop the erratic fluttering of his spark pulses. Why wouldn't he just let go?!

"Autobots, transform and roll out!" Prime wasted no time. He was soon in his alt form and quickly following after Ratchet. Sides still didn't let go.

"LET GO!" A fist came down hard on his brother's arm. "I SAID LET GO!"

"I can't." So soft he barely heard it. Turning his head, he glared weakly at his brother. Sideswipe's optics were dim and his optic ridges were furrowed. "I can't let you go like this."

"Sideswipe. Let. Go." Leveling an icy glare at his brother, the tone was dark and dangerous as he spoke. After only an astrosecond of hesitation, the red twin released him. Without another word, he transformed and peeled out in pursuit. Primus… please, don't let this happen again.

--+--

The internal chronometer practically ticked like a clock those humans seemed to love. Each astrosecond resounded in his processor as he stared at the door to med bay. Ratchet wouldn't let him in. He'd only gotten the barest glimpse, and his spark had plummeted in his chassis. Prowl's appearance alone stunned him into not arguing at that point. Now he wished he'd found his vocalizer and fought for the right to be in there.

Somewhere in the time span, Tracks had agreed to wait in the brig for a decision to be made. It occurred to him that it was probably for his own safety as well as guilt. The likeliness of him being ripped apart was high. Both he and his brother seemed strung far too tightly to deal with him right then.

Sideswipe stayed near him the entire time. But so did Bluestreak. Neither said a word in the time that elapsed, and had he been in his right mind, he would have been thankful. For now, he only stared silently trying not to remember the last time he'd been in this position. It took everything not to break simply at the sight of Ratchet standing grimly in the doorway, optics dim. _Primus, don't let him say the same thing…_

"I've done all I can." The medic stared from one mech to the other. "He'll make it."

"What do you mean, Ratchet? If he'll make it, why do you say it like that? Is there something else wrong? Did something not go right?" Bluestreak was the first to say anything as he moved forward. The gunner's doorwings were rigid on his back as he spoke hurriedly trying to cover all of the nervous feelings inside. Ratchet merely held up a hand in finality to quiet the young Datsun.

"I've fixed the physical damage." The tone was sharp and reeked of finality. Bluestreak went silent and lowered his head. Ratchet then pointed at Sunstreaker with a tight expression. "You can see him. But I'm holding off on other visitors for now."

Sunstreaker didn't wait for another prompting. He didn't even look at his brother before entering med bay. The warrior came to a stop as he stared at the figure of his lover on a berth. Machines that infused energon into the fuel lines hummed softly in his audios as he let the sight sink in. Anger rose in his chassis as he thought it over. Unfair.

Dragging his optics over newly repaired areas, he felt a bit relieved to see the new optic where the shattered socket had been. His tank gave a sickened lurch at the memory before he shook his head. Reaching out, he slid his fingers about a white hand and pressed it softly. Leaning his hip against the berth, his optics dimmed. None of it was fair. Leaning in a bit, his other hand reached out and barely touched the cheek beneath Prowl's repaired optic.

Optics lit up brightly and in an instant a white hand was wrapped around his Hand close to his arm. His own optics widened as he watched those fingers press hard into the joints of his hand near the thumb while Prowl stared at the ceiling unseeing. Drawing in a sharp gust through his intakes, the SIC released his hand and slowly turned his head to stare at Sunstreaker. The expression was carefully neutral causing Sunny to frown.

"Hey…" Intoning this awkwardly, Sunstreaker kicked himself internally. What did one say in this sort of situation? Prowl's brow ridges furrowed as he rolled his head back to stare at the ceiling once more as though trying to focus. It ached to realize, he really didn't know what to say.

"What happened?" Prowl's vocalizer crackled a little as it tried to even out.

"You passed out when we got there." Hedging a little, he figured the other would figure out anyway. "Tracks came back and got us. He led us back to you before they took you away…"

Prowl's expression never changed as he spoke. In fact, he wondered if the other was even listening to him as the blue light in those optics seemed to slowly fade. Squeezing his hand about Prowl's, he noticed them flicker and remain. Slowly, white digits curled about his hand.

"I see." The black and white mech turned his head and looked at Sunstreaker closely. It seemed as though he were looking at him for the first time.

"How are you feeling?" Stupid as the question was, Sunny wanted to know. He leaned in closer, his hand tightening on the older's.

An optic ridge rose, and a ghost of a smile touched the corner of Prowl's lips. He could tell it was in wry amusement. As it faded away, he felt a pang in his chassis as something told him he wouldn't be satisfied with the answer. "I'm alive."

"That's it?" It came out on impulse, his vocalizer working before his processor. Prowl stared up at him blankly in response and he knew there would be no response. Grumbling a little he pressed on. "You know, you have a right to complain… or say how you feel. I'm not going to hold any of it against you or whatever."

"There's nothing to talk about." Prowl's voice was low and held no inflection as he offlined his optics. "Don't worry about it."

First impulse told him to complain. The words that wanted to come out were sharp and demanded to know how this was nothing. How could this possibly be nothing? If it had been Sideswipe on the berth, he would have exploded in sheer anger over the entire ordeal. Rant. Sunstreaker was good at that. Taking this calmly, proved to be much harder. Running his fingers idly over Prowl's hand he forced back the angry response and bowed his head. "I'm going to."

"Pardon?" Prowl's voice was a touch surprised as the soft squeal of metal illustrated the turn of his head.

"I'm going to worry, so don't waste your energy telling me not to." Sunstreaker kept his head down. For some reason, looking at that carefully stoic expression was driving his processor crazy. His own anger aside, how could Prowl be so calm?

Neither moved for a while until slowly, Prowl shifted to roll onto his side. Lifting his head sharply, he'd meant to protest. Ratchet wouldn't want him moving so soon. Yet, as his optics met the intense gaze of bright cerulean, the protest died in his vocalizer. Prowl reached out with his other hand and came just short of Sunny's cheek. After a moment of hesitation, the white fingertips slid with feather lightness over his cheek seam.

"You're so stubborn." Smiling faintly, Prowl suddenly lifted his head breaking their gaze. "Hello Ratchet."

Sunstreaker felt his processor race at that touch, and his lips curled into a smirk. Those words, accusatory as they were, held that bare hint of life that he remembered. For just a second, that was the Prowl he remembered, not the empty shell that had come out of stasis not long before. Looking up at, the medic that stood just behind him, he frowned. "Don't tell me… you're kicking me out."

"Yes I am." The gruff response from the medic was punctuated as he folded his hands behind his back. Watching the medic straighten, he knew when the posture was meant to intimidate him. Ratchet gave him an edged look before smiling gently at Prowl. "I'm glad you came online on your own. Does anything hurt?"

"No. I feel a bit numb." The SIC's voice was clinical and calm as Sunstreaker pushed away from the berth. Prowl's voice alone proved his words, and the warrior didn't want to see that look return. Not right now.

"Ah, that is probably partially due to the anesthesia. Please refrain from moving too much until the repairs set in. I had quite a time repairing your doorwings especially." Funny, when Ratchet chastised Prowl, he was so gentle in contrast to when he yelled at the twins. Then again, Prowl was rarely forced into his care in comparison to the twin hellions.

As Sunny moved to release Prowl's hand, the older's suddenly clenched it unwilling to let him go. Looking up at his lover, he noticed that Prowl never took his focus off the medic. "I'll try. You know how I am."

"Work is not an option right now, Prowl. The only problem I want to deal with in regards to you right now is you going stir crazy." The tone of the medic was gruff as he put his hands on his hips striking an imposing figure over the tactician. "Now, say goodbye to Sunstreaker, because you need to rest." He gave no room for argument in his tone as he gave Sunny a sharp look before turning to head for his office.

Silence fell over them, and Sunstreaker finally found it in him to meet the gaze of the Autobot strategist. Optics were set on him intensely, the elder's brow furrowed just slightly as though he wanted to ask a question, but he wouldn't. Finally he shifted to lean closer. A yellow finger pressed to Prowl's chin thoughtfully as an optic ridge rose. "What?"

Prowl's lips parted to say something, but soon his optics faded and his mouth closed unwilling to say a thing once again. Sunstreaker watched him curiously unsure of what to do. It was so obvious that Prowl wanted something, but unlike Prowl, Sunny couldn't read him. Sunny didn't know what the other wanted at any given moment. Pressing his lips together tightly, his gaze softened. Leaning in, his lips pressed softly to the midpoint of Prowl's chevron causing the elder to still. White fingertips slid down Sunny's jaw line before they both pulled away. Lifting Prowl's hand, he kissed the knuckles softly before pulling his hand away. "Call for me. All right? You know I'll come…"

Prowl smiled wanly and gave the slightest nod. After a moment's hesitation, Sunstreaker forced himself to turn and with an ache in his chassis, he walked away. As he moved through the doors, he glanced about for his brother and scowled when he was no where in sight. Wherever the idiot was, he'd find him. And he'd better not have gone to slag Tracks without him or there would be Pit to pay.

--+--

"You're up early." The tone was soft as it drifted from the top bunk. Sunstreaker turned his head to see the dull blue optics of his twin peering over the edge at him. Sideswipe looked half asleep and practically stared straight through him in an attempt to focus.

"I couldn't sleep." Shrugging his shoulders he looked back to the door he was about to exit through. "And I'm sure he's awake by now."

A soft noise of irritation was followed by the light screech of metal indicating that Sides was turning over. "Probably."

Sunstreaker turned and stared at his brother's form. The slight rise of rigid armor and dip of smoother metal was shadowed like a silhouette against the lighter colored wall. The other's back was to him now, and something about it caused his brow to furrow in irritation. "What?"

"What, what?" Intoning the response dryly, Sideswipe didn't turn over.

"What's your primary malfunction?" Slowly the yellow warrior crossed his arms over his chest. Sides had been rather quiet since he came back to their room the night before. "You're normally the lively one in the morning."

"Guess I didn't rest well either." His shadowed figure shrugged again. "Sorry. I'll be around if you need me."

"Sure." Giving his twin a skeptical look, he turned to leave. He'd bring it up later. For now, he had a pressing need to see Prowl. The exchange from the day before never left his processor and he needed to see him. Sunny wanted to be sure that everything was all right. "See ya."

Sideswipe gave a vague wave that he caught out of the peripheral of his vision. Exiting the room, he walked slowly toward med bay. Refueling foregone for this visit, Sunstreaker hoped he'd be there just as Prowl woke, or soon after. Prowl tended to early rising, Sunny preferred to sleep in. Sometimes their differences were blatant. Yet neither really seemed to give it a second thought. Things like that really didn't seem that important.

Especially not right now as he rounded the last corner. Flashes of memories were using up space in his RAM, making it hard to focus on staying calm. Anger served as a safety. Rather than react how he felt, anger remained simple and intimidating enough to keep threats at bay. Prowl didn't work that way… So he tried not to follow that well worn path to temperamental rage.

It seemed to only work when he did it for Prowl.

Slipping through the entrance to med bay, his optics scanned the room. Sunstreaker's body went extremely rigid as he found each berth empty. Processor freezing, the yellow warrior set his jaw. In the corner of his vision, he saw Ratchet exit his office and stop. Turning his head, he regarded the CMO with narrowed optics.

"Sunstreaker… You're here early." The medic's placating tone only served to grate on his processor more.

"Where is he?" Yellow hands curled into fists at his side as his vocalizer ground out the words.

"You shouldn't be so surprised." Ratchet's reply was gruff as he moved to start putting tools away that had been cleaned. "He checked himself out this morning. Slagger used his rank on me as usual."

Ratchet seemed to continue moving as though this was of no consequence. Sunstreaker could only watch as the anger roiled up higher in his chassis only to simmer in his optics as they dimmed. Turning quickly, his fist slammed into the door frame as he quickly slipped out of the room. In the back of his processor, he heard Ratchet's protest. The medic even seemed confused as Sunny marched down the hall rigidly.

Prowl lied to him. He told Sunstreaker he would call the warrior.

Storming down hall after hall, he barely maintained a modicum of calm as he questioned each Autobot unlucky enough to be lingering in the halls. Many took steps back as he interrogated he noticed. In retrospect that idea proved to be the wisest, especially since none seemed to give him any information that was worthwhile.

Turning a corner, a flash of red was all he saw before colliding with another mech. Optics flaring in anger, he wheeled on the other to see the grim face of the weapons specialist. To his credit, at least he didn't turn about swinging. Pressing his lips into a fine line, his tone was grounded out lowly when he spoke. "Where's Prowl?"

"Well, hello t'ya too, Sunstreaker." Ironhide gave him a sharp reproachful look before going on. "That bot don' know when t'quit. Told me t'leave so he could talk t'Tracks in tha brig."

"He what?!" Reaching a pitch higher than necessary, the warrior didn't wait for more. Shoving past Ironhide, a grunt left the elder. "The frag does he think he's doing?!"

"Don' go bein' impulsive!" Ironhide called after him before finally trailing off into grumbling. "Stupid, unruly younglings. Never listens t'anything ya tell 'em."

If he'd said more, Sunny didn't hear him. Now that he had a direction, he marched on, determination pouring from his stride and stiff posture. Mechs quickly moved from his path as his optics remained forward and narrowed. How could Prowl do this? After all the slag they'd been through, what was he doing? Did he mean so little to the tactician that he didn't even deserve to know what was going on? That thought slowed him down.

Face plates pulled down into a hard frown as he came to a stop. It confused him. Prowl wanted him to talk. He wanted Sunstreaker to tell him what was going on, but didn't feel the need to return the favor. It didn't say much for how Prowl saw him. At least not how he was seeing it. Lowering his head with a dark scowl, a soft voice broke through his concentration.

"You've been responsible for all of the occurrences recently, haven't you?" He knew that voice so well. It seeped into his systems and slid through his spark like a soothing oil through a heated over worked engine. Sometimes he really hated the SIC for making it so hard to be angry.

"Yes sir." The admission was low, almost indistinguishable as Tracks' voice.

"I see." Still calm and unchanging, a long pause stretched after those words.

"I didn't mean for it to go that far." Tracks couldn't have sounded more apologetic if he said the words out right. It just didn't soothe the anger boiling violently under that dark scowl on Sunstreaker's face.

"I'm sure." Prowl seemed so distant. So much so, Sunny found himself leaning through the doorway quietly wanting to see his face. Prowl's features were tight, but betrayed nothing. Normally sharp blue optics shined dimly now as they watched Tracks. Soon the SIC's head turned and he stared at the wall. "What did you mean to come of this?"

"Sir?" Tracks leaned in cautiously watching his superior. "Do you mean with this prank in particular…?"

"All of them." Cutting Tracks off curtly, he turned that heavy gaze on the Corvette. The other took a step back then looked off to the side with a slight shrug. "What do you have against me?"

Both Sunny and Tracks looked surprised at that question. Two curious stares rested on the black and white. Tracks seemed to fumble over the answer, not knowing what to say. The yellow warrior wondered if maybe he realized just how pointless what he'd been doing was. Furrowing his brow in irritation, Sunny leaned against the doorframe sorely aware of the fact that he should have listened to his twin.

"Well…" The younger mech shrugged and shifted uncomfortably under Prowl's look. Finally he allowed the lowest of mutters. "You have him…"

"Him?" For a split second, Prowl looked surprised. It quickly faded back into that unreadable expression before he gave a slight nod. "I won't deal with your punishment. Someone unbiased and uninvolved would better suit the matter. You're now in the hands of Optimus."

"Yes sir." The young warrior answered looking stunned as Prowl turned and moved to the door.

Sunny quickly backed out and leaned back against the wall. Thoughts rushed through his processor at warp speed threatening to cause a short if he didn't stop them. The conversation struck a chord, one he didn't really understand. Watching Prowl look so detached from the situation was disconcerting at best. It had quickly and efficiently shoved prior thoughts on to hold. Dropping his helm back against the wall, he stared at the ceiling.

"Sunstreaker. You're up early."

Snapping to attention, he lifted from the wall and went rigid as he glared at the elder. Prowl didn't seem to notice the angry expression and simply leveled their gazes unaffected. "Yeah. And you're out too soon."

Prowl's expression darkened as the corners of his lips pulled downward just slightly. Already dimmed optics faded to half light before he slowly turned and started to walk away. "I more than anyone, know when I'm ready to return to my duties."

"Che… yeah… you'd work even if you didn't have all your limbs. Great judgment, Prowl." Snarling slightly, he watched his lover's form stop cold. Looking closely, he could see the tremor that ran through raised doorwings.

"I won't criticize your fighting style, and you won't criticize my judgment." Without looking back, Prowl began to walk again. This time the pace was slower, less sure.

The words shot through his chassis like he'd been struck by lightning. The ache hummed even in his audios as he watched Prowl leave him. Part of him wanted to storm off, the other part wanted to reach out and touch one of those doorwings and stop him. In his indecision, a small query surfaced in his thoughts. Did Prowl's doorwings seem to be sinking a little more with each step? Or was it just his imagination?

_And there are voices  
That want to be heard.  
So much to mention  
But you cant find the words.  
The scent of magic,  
The beauty that's been  
When love was wilder than the wind._

_Listen to your heart  
When he's calling for you.  
Listen to your heart  
There's nothing else you can do._

-Finé-


	22. Stepping In

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **PG-13

**Notes:** Well, say it. "It's about time." Sorry for the long delay. If anyone works in the publishing company (magazines especially) they'll understand why I've had no time whatsoever. But here we go again~. Note, this chapter will be done from Jazz's point of view. Sunstreaker/Prowl, Sideswipe/Bluestreak, Ironhide/Ratchet

**Warnings: **This will be mostly angst and heart wrenching fun. But Just remember guys, things can only go up from here.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "All I Want" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Toad the Wet Sprocket and HasTak respectively.

_Nothings so loud  
As hearing when we lie  
The truth is not kind  
And you've said neither am I  
But the air outside so soft is saying everything  
Everything…_

-All I Want by Toad the Wet Sprocket-

"I heard that they've not talked in almost a week."

"What did you expect? He was bound to wise up."

Each voice was like a grinding gear in severe need of grease in a normally smooth working engine. It took a lot now to not grimace as Gears and Cliffjumper spoke none too quietly near where he sat perched at the energon bar. Dark fingertips rapped in irritation on the table surface as his face remained smooth and calm.

"Jazz."

Turning his attention to his energon cube, he stared at it intently. Prowl wasn't right. Sunstreaker could see it, even Sideswipe told him that. But approaching the SIC wasn't an easy game, not even for him. So, Sunny backing off slightly wasn't hard to believe. _It's goin' all wrong._

"JAZZ!" The raised voice broke through his deep thought, causing him to nearly shove the energon cube right off of the bar surface. Looking up with a wide grin, he met the grimace of the chief medical officer. "What the slag is your problem?! I've been talking to you for a long time and you're not even listening!"

"Calm it down now, Doc. I was listenin'." Grinning cheekily, he refused to admit that he hadn't heard a word.

"Oh really?" Tone flat, Ratchet crossed his arms over his chestplate and sent him a steady glare. "Very well then, what was I talking about?"

Quickly, his processor ran through everything his sensors had picked up in the last breem or so before he sent him a grin. "You were complainin' bout the twins again. Don' know why, bein' as they aren't pullin' nothin' lately."

"Close enough. But you seemed to have only heard half of what I was saying." Grumbling, he faced forward in his perch next to Jazz. "Sunstreaker is barely coming out these days. Not to mention Sideswipe hovering like a mother hen. You'd think the yellow terror got dumped."

That tone of voice caught his attention. Ratchet wasn't so much stating an observation as feeling him out. No one was sure what had happened with their relationship. One moment they were all giving the SIC and his choice of mate flak, the next they were lamenting for their sudden 'break-up'. Jazz mused it was pretty much the 'bots only means of entertainment these days. Kind of like one of those day-time dramas the human's enjoyed.

"Nah… Prowl woulda told me if that were the case." And he would stick firmly to that until Prowl told him otherwise. "But he's not been right."

This time, Ratchet was the one to pause. The doctor carefully stared at his energon cube before speaking lowly. "It's been a week."

"Still not come in for a check up?" Jazz wasn't surprised. Leave it to Prowl to refuse to acknowledge nearly dying only a week ago. As Ratchet shook his head, the chips in Jazz's head slowly fired up, cycling this thought in his processor. Perhaps he could use that later… perhaps not. "Doc… it was bad wasn't it?"

Ratchet gazed at him a long moment before giving a grave nod. Letting out a sigh, Jazz finally stood up and shoved the energon away. "What are you going to do?"

"What I always do, Doc." He smiled broadly, giving Ratchet a mock salute. "I'm gonna go with the flow and see where it takes me."

From his peripheral vision, Jazz could see the CMO shake his head, but he didn't wait for a reply. This had gone on long enough. Prowl couldn't keep this up, and he certainly wouldn't let him. He'd known the other far too long, and worked at it too much to have everything go up in flames. Especially when this had been the first time he'd seen Prowl alive in eons.

Moving out into the halls, he debated how to approach the matter. Optimus always served as the last resort. Whenever he could help it, he never used his rank to force Prowl to do something. That meant one thing… he'd have to talk to him. And the way Prowl was working these days; Jazz figured he'd have to fight his way in for a simple hearing.

"Prowl…" Jazz came to a halt in the hall and tipped his head a little at the sound of that voice. It sounded so wrong coming from Sunstreaker, who had just turned down a hall just ahead of him looking rather hurried. Frowning a bit, Jazz silently slid along the wall and pressed against it just at the corner. "Prowl! Slaggit! Stop ignoring me!"

"What do you need, Sunstreaker?" Prowl's voice was tense as he replied. Jazz listened hard; his frown deepening a bit as the elder blatantly pushed aside the concern that was evident in Sunny's address. "I have work to do. Can this wait?"

"Even if you promised to talk to me later, you'll not make time. You'll find something else to do." There was a rough edge to that retort, and Jazz could almost see the strain in that voice as he barely suppressed the sarcasm and anger.

"You're imagining things." Jazz actually straightened at the flat tone his best friend used. Quietly he leaned over and turned his head to peer down the hall at the two mechs glaring at one another. Prowl's doorwings stood rigid and unmoving on his back, while his hands clutched dangerously hard at a stack of datapads in his arms. _Definitely ain't right…_

"Fragger." Sunstreaker's voice barely reached Jazz's audios as he whispered coldly and balled his hands into fists at his sides. "Why the pit did you work so hard to drag me out of my misery for this?!" Slowly his voice escalated with each word. "All that work for this?! YOU SLAGGIN' GLITCH!"

The younger's voice echoed down the hall causing Prowl to shift his weight, favoring the leg farthest from the warrior. The motion was so small; Jazz knew Sunstreaker didn't see it. Tight lines in Prowl's face seemed to tighten further, but his expression remained stoic. Moments passed, and the special ops officer felt a chill run down his spine as those words rang in his own audios.

"That's all you've got to say… isn't it?" Sunstreaker finally broke the silence, his face contorting into an angry scowl marring the handsome features. When Prowl continued to say nothing, he whirled around and slammed his fist into the wall, hard enough to make the metal creak and snap. Jazz winced for him before ducking back behind the corner as Sunny stormed off.

When the heavy footfalls disappeared, he finally moved and looked around the corner again. Prowl had not moved from his place in the hall. He seemed like a statue as his optics gazed unseeing at the wall. Seconds ticked by as Jazz watched, he could almost hear the tick of the chronometer as he waited for his best friend to move.

Prowl finally lowered his head just as Jazz was about to speak up in concern. The motion kept him silent. Cool cerulean optics dimmed as Prowl regarded his hands on the datapads for a long moment. Flexing his white digits on them, Prowl's doorwings descended down on their hinges to droop against his back. It took a moment, but the elder officer drew air through his intakes then straightened in one smooth movement. Turning on his heel, he marched off down the hall.

Jazz froze in place as he gawked after his long time friend. For the barest moment, he just knew… Prowl had made optic contact with him. It hadn't been a long moment… but it had been long enough for him to feel the chill run through his systems.

"Primus…" Shuddering, he ducked back behind the corner and stared ahead of himself. Fans kicked in to calm his thundering spark pulse as he dropped his helm against the wall with a thud. "Definitely gotta do somethin'…"

--+--

Eons ago, he'd been called a meddling annoyance. It had been the day Prowl met Jazz for the first time. Many thought they'd never get along. Some even thought having them as the top ranking officers under Optimus would cause dissension in the ranks. Jazz thought they just underestimated his ability to persevere.

He'd spent vorns trying to get Prowl to talk to him in a normal conversation. Soon, he was one of very few that the SIC would actually confide in. Jazz had nothing but respect for the elder. While he'd fought the battle to win Prowl as a friend, Prowl fought the battle to be the best soldier Optimus could ask for. The strategist earned his position.

But for all that respect and fondness, Jazz couldn't help but wonder who the mech was sitting behind his best friend's desk. Prowl faced off to the side, pointedly not looking even in his direction.

"If you insisted upon forcing your way into my office, Jazz, then please state your business so I can get back to work." Prowl's icy tone made the Porsche muse that Prowl had no intention of listening nor helping if he could help it.

"Well, Prowler… I actually hadn' seen ya in a while so I thought I'd come an' see ya." Smirking proudly, he didn't allow any of the doubt or nervous feelings break his easy going behavior.

"Oh?" Prowl went very still before slowly turning his chair to face forward. Leaning over his desk, he placed his elbows on it and slowly lifted his head to give the younger a cold glance. "Funny. I would have thought your eavesdropping on me earlier today would have been enough."

Ouch. So… he'd been caught after all. Making a show of his wincing, he put a hand over his spark dramatically. "That's cold man. I know I was there, but it doesn't I meant to be listenin' in like that."

"Whether you intended to or not, is not the point." Doorwings rose stiffly as he held that steady glare on Jazz.

"Ya know what?" That was it. He'd had enough of this slaggin' behavior. "Yeah, I listened. I listened and realized that I was right t'worry about ya not bein' right." Glaring hard in return, the serious expression seemed to throw Prowl a little. Leaning forward, he slammed his hands down on the edge of the elder's desk and went on. "Ya ain't right! You're not going in for check ups like Ratch' asked ya to and you're treatin' Sunshine like yesterday's energon. Nice when ya got it, but stale and unwanted the next day!"

"You have no right." Prowl's shoulders shook slightly as he narrowed his optics at the Porsche. "How and what I do in my relationship with Sunstreaker is none of your concern."

"Relationship? _Relationship?!_ Oh… that's rich Prowl!" Straightening, he pointed at the other and dimmed his optics behind the visor. "Cause I didn' think what'cha been doin' this last week can really be classified as a 'relationship'!"

"I think you need to leave." Prowl's jaw tensed as he slowly rose to his feet.

"Oh I will. But if I hav'ta come back, ya won't be happy, Prowler." Yes, he'd had it with this charade. If Prowl wouldn't talk about it, he could at least make the other stop before he worked himself into the slag heap. "Cause if ya don' go see Ratch' like he said, I'm gonna take this t'Prime."

"Get. Out." Prowl's optics flickered then quickly dimmed giving a sure sign that he'd hit a nerve.

"Fine." Turning sharply, he moved to the door and stopped. "Look… ya gotta talk about this, man… I'm worried. Sunshine is worried."

"Stop calling him that." Jazz had to strain to hear that, but he couldn't stop the smirk on his lips.

"I'll see ya 'round, Prowler." Adding that last line, he gave the other a meaningful look before moving out of the office. As the door closed behind him, he slowly swayed back to rest against the door with a heavy emulated sigh. _That went fraggin' beautifully. _

Pushing off, he started to walk away brooding slightly. That hadn't gone the way he'd planned. He couldn't remember a time that he'd lost his temper with Prowl of all 'bots. In fact, he'd made a point never to let the other's less than likeable attributes get to him. Today proved different. Today, Jazz held more concern for his best friend than anything else.

But if nothing else, he managed two things with that little argument. First, he broke through that cold stoic mannerism. Second… he knew now, with absolute certainty, that Prowl still loved Sunstreaker.

--+--

"Yo, Sides… can I talk t'ya?" Whispering as he peeked into the rec room, he waved a hand to beckon the red twin. Sunstreaker was sitting in brooding silence at a table with Bluestreak while Sides made his way to the energon dispenser. Sides looked up at him curiously then nodded and moved out into the hall with the saboteur.

"What do you want, Jazz? I got a brother that's screwed in the processor right now, so don't take too long." Sides shuffled a little, the wear of dealing with a twin on the verge of breaking showing through.

"How's he doin'?" The Porsche couldn't but to query softly. He'd already seen Sunny like this once; he'd be slagged if he let the warrior get that way again.

"What do you think you lug nut?!" Glaring mildly at Jazz, he dropped back against the wall and rubbed at his optics. "I just know any moment he's gonna snap and beat the slag outta someone just to vent."

"Figured as much… hey… would he, ya know… be willin' to talk?" The question made him hesitate as the younger leveled a neutral gaze on him curiously.

"If you mean a lovely spark to spark, I think you have littler chance than a piece of scrap in a smelting pool."

"Not like that…" Jazz smirked at the image of him and Sunny having that sort of conversation and had to choke down the chuckle. "I jus' talked t'Prowler…. And I want to convey a few of my thoughts to the Sunbot if he's willin' t'hear them."

Sideswipe hedged a little, turning his head to look back into the rec room seeking out his brother's hunched form instantly. The frontliner pressed his lips together into a fine line as he crossed his arms over his chest. Jazz could almost see the relays and circuits working together to help the processor make a decision. "Not if it's bleak, ya know? I think Sunny's had too much of that this week."

"No… but it's more a feelin' I have. I've known Prowl a long time… and I've rarely been wrong about 'im." The saboteur watched the red twin continue to debate internally before his shoulders sagged.

"Yeah. You can try. He doesn't have a whole lot of fight in him at the moment. Might be the best time." Pushing away from the wall, he gave Jazz a stern look. "But I mean it Jazz…. Don't drag him down further or I'll beat the slag out of you… got it?"

"Got it." Holding his hands up in surrender, Jazz nodded solemnly. "I promise to be constructive today… jus' hope he's in the mood t'listen."

"Can't promise you anything there." The red mech shrugged before turning to go back into the rec room. "But the rate he's going… I don't know. Good luck…" Giving Jazz a long look, he moved off to finish the task he'd been carrying out before he'd been distracted. Jazz didn't need to ask his permission, but he felt it only right. Sideswipe was the one fighting for his brother the hardest. And if anyone had an idea of how Sunstreaker would react, it would be his twin brother.

Straightening, he looked at Sunstreaker and slowly pieced all of his resolve together. For now, he set aside all of the frustration Prowl caused him and focused on the yellow form leaning on the table not far from him. Before any doubts could grab him, he was already in motion crossing the room. Dropping a hand on Bluestreak's shoulder, he grinned widely.

"Heya there, Blue. Could I borrow Sunshine over there for a moment?" The Gunner looked up in surprise then looked at Sunstreaker as though waiting for his permission.

"Don't slagging call me that, you glitch." He pulled his lips into a hard snarl before he shrugged. "Do what you want. I don't give a frag."

"Ah… o-ok, Sunny. Um… call us if you need us." Rising from his chair, he sent Jazz a quick look that lingered longer than necessary before running off. Jazz was sure the young Datsun was finding his lover who had taken noticeably more time than necessary. Shaking his head, he sank down into the vacated seat and draped his arms over the back.

"Hey, mind given me an audio, Sunny?" Watching the younger grimace at the nickname, he couldn't help the slight smirk. At least he was still vaguely still the same. Not all of the work Prowl had gone through had been lost. This would work out. It had to. "I'll take that as a yes."

"What the slag does it matter? You're just gonna talk in annoying riddles," Sunstreaker growled at him without even lifting his head to look at him. Sides was right, his brother really didn't seem to have it in him today. But after that ordeal with Prowl, he could understand.

"Nah, I'm not gonna do that t'ya today." Giving a weak chuckle, he caught the movement of the larger mech as he shifted to rest his chin on his arms. Jazz met those Caribbean blue optics and grinned. "Before ya needed to figure it out… today… well… today no one needs any riddles."

"No fraggin' kidding." Snorting derisively, Sunny watched him carefully. "So. What do you want?"

"I talked to Prowl. Well… more like argued with him." Reaching back behind his helm, he rubbed at it in embarrassment. "But where he's still being a stubborn prat… I came to two conclusions."

"So, I'm not just being sensitive." Sunstreaker spat the words out in irritation before narrowing his optics at the saboteur. "What were they?"

"Nah, Sunny…. Prowl ain't been right since he came back." Shaking his head, he let a gust of air release through his vents. "Well… the first is that he can be dragged back, it'll just take a lotta work…"

"A lot of work? And who do you plan to have do that?" Jazz could tell that Sunny knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it. Sunstreaker needed to hear it.

"Well, that's the second conclusion. He loves you, Sunny… never stopped. And I think… you're gonna have t'be the one to do it." Meeting those faltering optics, he leaned closer to make the other look at him. "Sunny, you remember the pit of a time you gave Prowl?"

Sunny sat up straighter than a beam and glared at Jazz dangerously. "What's that gotta do with anything? I've been trying to get that slagger to talk to me!"

Jazz grimaced a bit and leaned backing the chair as his fingers rapped against the table surface. "You're going to have to return the favor. But more forcefully."

"That's all fine in theory, but you're forgetting one thing."

Jazz lifted an optic ridge interested. "And what is it I'm forgetting?"

"Prowl's so busy he won't even stop to recharge." Sunny finally lifted his torso off the table to sit back in his chair. Slowly crossing his arms over his chest, he angled his head in a manner that allows him to look at Jazz from just under the edge of his helm. Jazz had to admit, the look was rather intimidating.

"I'll just have to pull my least favorite card on him." It hurt to even suggest it. No matter how he looked at it, he had no other choice. "I'm going to put in a vote of no confidence in his work to Optimus…"

This seemed to throw the other mech completely off balance. Jazz was morbidly amused to see the strong frontliner open his mouth then close it a few times as he tried to formulate a response. "He's gonna be fragged off at you if you do that…"

"Oh… it'll do more than that. Gonna be a pit of a time to fix the damage this'll cause." Leveling a hard look at Sunstreaker he went on calmly. "Look, I know ya don't like me. But right now, we don' have too many others that can help us. Will you promise t'save him if I do this? Cause it'll kill any chance I've got…"

Sunstreaker lowered his optics to the table. He seemed so stunned and yet confused all at once. Jazz waited. All he could do was wait and hope for him to agree. Because this was the only way, and if Sunny didn't love Prowl enough to do it… Well, there was a high chance of losing his long standing best friend to the ghosts of one terrifying ordeal.

"All right." Jazz stared in amazement as Sunstreaker slowly nodded his head.

"Sunny, this won' be easy. It won' be no walk in the park if ya know what I mean." Jazz couldn't help but push.

"I said all right! What more do you want?!" A flare of optics and a deep scowl rose to meet Jazz's surprised gaze. "Look… I know. But if it gets him back… all the slag will be worth it, right?"

"Yeah, Sunstreaker…." Jazz slowly allowed a smile to tug at his lips. "It'll be worth it." Watching the yellow warrior nod as though to reassure himself, Jazz sank back in his chair. "I'll file the report in the morning. Be ready Sunshine…."

"Don't call me that, glitch…" Glaring at him mildly, he finally snorted and looked away. "Fine… I will."

Jazz watched the younger almost visibly curl back into himself. Whatever held Sunny's interest to Jazz's words was long gone now. Noting the slump of shoulders and the way Sunny seemed to look for his twin, Jazz knew that was his cue. Slowly rising from his seat, he moved about the table to leave. Patting one shoulder lightly, he felt the younger tense a bit.

"It'll work out if ya work for it. A good friend of mine told me once… that anything good in life has to be worked for." Nodding once, he moved away from the frontliner feeling his processor reel in a manner that upset the contents of his tank.

_Suck it up, Jazz man… it's the only option._

Heading out of the room, he stopped and turned to stare at Sunstreaker's back as Sideswipe hurried back to him. Things didn't look too promising… but he wanted to believe in the kid. And that was enough for him.

Nodding once, he made way to the office he'd not really seen in months. He knew it would come in handy someday. If nothing else, he'd be seeing a lot of it real soon. Well, Prowl could just thank him for it later.

_Nothings so cold  
As closing the heart when all we need  
Is to free the soul  
But we wouldn't be that brave I know  
And the air outside so soft, confessing everything  
Everything…_

-Finé-

** I know that a vote of no confidence is technically a term and action used in government and not in the military. This is purely my decision based on how I view the Autobot faction's workings. It will be handled very similarly to a competency hearing. If you feel I used this in error, I'm sorry to offend. And I'll be happy to hear feedback on it if you think there is something I should know. Thanks!


	23. Catch Me As I Fall

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author:** Lune Nightingale

**Series: **Transformers G1

**Rating: **R

**Notes: **This will be quite a different animal. It will be done from Prowl's point of view. I bet you're all happy about that. XD Thanks to laMalvagita and pl2363 for all the lovely art on Deviant Art and inspiration. You've been awesome and I love you guys for it. Sunstreaker/Prowl, Sideswipe/Bluestreak, Ironhide/Ratchet

**Warnings: **Expect a dynamic change of mood as well as dark angsty thoughts and affection. It will be the bittersweet kind.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the lyrics to "Whipser" nor the characters from Transformers. Sadly, those belong to Evanescence and HasTak respectively.

_Catch me as I fall  
Say you're here and it's all over now  
Speaking to the atmosphere  
No one's here and I fall into myself  
This truth drives me  
Into madness  
I know I can stop the pain  
If I will it all away…_

-Whisper by Evanescence-

The door opened spilling light into the dark room. Pristine and organized silhouettes designed the office as golden light washed over it. A long shadow fell over the spill of light and soon the door closed. Storming in, normally soundless footfalls hit harshly against the ground.

_"Prowl… do you know why you're called here?" Looking at all the figures in the room while Prime spoke, fear ran straight through his inner core. Jazz stood head bowed next to Optimus while Ratchet, Red Alert, WheelJack, and Ironhide stood at various positions around him._

_"Sir?"_

_"This is a competency hearing." Prime's words echoed in the stillness of the room bouncing off the four walls and pierced through his processor like a knife._

A low growl began to grow from the confines of his chest. For a long moment, he stood motionless in front of his desk. The darkness cloaked him and only the light of his monitor off to one side of his desk traced the edges of his frame. Dimly lit optics proved a washed out blue while lowering to skim over the various items upon the desk. With each passing second, white digits curled slow shakily into fists.

_"I have a vote of no confidence in your abilities to continue carrying out your duties. As leader of the Autobot faction, I must ask if there is a second to this motion before we proceed." Prime's voice sounded so soft, Prowl knew they all strained to hear his words._

_"I second the motion." Snapping his head up, Prowl felt oddly unsurprised to see Ratchet looking at him with a tight expression._

In one long sweep of his arm, items, datapads and various utensils hurtled with intensity into the wall. The sound of glass shattering echoed predominantly before a white hand balled up and in one sharp motion slammed into the monitor. Electricity sizzled about his hand and leapt in little blue streaks over his arm before fizzling out. The room fell into utter darkness.

_"Until further evaluation, it is suggested that Second in Command, Prowl, be removed from active duty until proven capable of resuming." Still that quiet tone rocked his world as the room began to spin. "Those in favor… show of hands."_

_It took everything within him to turn his head and watch each officer look away and raise their hands. With each hand, one more piece of his hold on his sanity seemed to snap in two._

He gripped the edge of the desk and literally ripped it up off the floor and threw it forward as a cry rang out from his vocalizer. The table tumbled forward only to collide into his desk chair and sent it back to slam into the wall. Shuddering, he stood there; Prowl suddenly whirled around grabbing one of the chairs for visitors and sent it flying across the room to careen into another wall with a loud crash. No one would hear the noise, and if they did, what did they care?

_"The vote… is unanimous." Prime gave a long sigh, lowering his head. Finally he rose to his feet and looked at his SIC with sad optics. "Acting as leader and upon the greater good of our bots, I relieve you of your duty until evaluation deems you fit. You will be required to report to the Chief Medical Officer weekly. Failure to do so will result in the strip of rank." _

_Staring in silent horror, it took all he had not to let that expression reach his face. In all his years and working with all his might to support Optimus Prime… this day… those words… he never thought he'd hear them._

Snatching up the last chair in a flurry, he reared back to throw it only to stop. Staring at the wall before him, the light of his optics slid over the glossy finish of the painting hung there. Second by second, his grip loosened and soon the chair fell with a clang to the metal floor. Prowl's optics dimmed as he slowly felt all the strength sapped from his legs.

Slowly… so very slowly, his body seemed to sink until he sat on his knees on the floor. Optics stayed locked on the painting, his shoulders slumping and hands falling lifelessly at his sides. Seconds ticked by, his doorwings wilting because of the anger simmering down within his form. A burning rush ran from his spark to his optics and he gasped just slightly in the darkness.

--+--

Broken. All was broken and fragments of the stern hold upon sanity lay like fragments across the floor. Everything that littered the floor of the once ordered office reflected what lie within. The darkness consumed and hid the debris from view except for the glowing hues that illuminated the jagged edges.

Downfall. His processor could pinpoint the moment his world began to fracture in a spiderweb like design until the weight of the pain broke through. All that lie in the wake of destruction was useless pieces of shrapnel, debris, and shattered glass. A shudder ran through his form from the memories playing by with perfect clarity.

A ghost like hand slid up the seam of his cheek and he whimpered. The optic ached, recalling the shadow of cobalt hovering so near. Just like that, his vision exploded in an array of sparks. Stiffening, Prowl slowly curled in on himself.

Useless. The sound of his own scream echoed in his audios causing him to draw his hands up to his helm. Cradling it tightly in his hands, the gleaming white metal threatened to bend from the grip. Vertigo struck him, lurching him forward in his desk chair haphazardly set up by the righted desk. "Stop!"

Sensors ghosted the sickening glide of fingers up his door wings causing his body to twist at his waist. The motion caused a wing to slam hard into the edge of the chair. In the silence of the darkness, he found himself going deaf. Things repressed by the focus of work, logic, and duty were pouring forth along with the stoic faces of his friends and fellow officers.

All of the faith he relied on so heavily, the trust he'd stalwartly poured the foundation of this life on… crumbled like sandstone in the palm of his hand. A leg drew upward, forcing his knee just beneath his bumper, planting his heel into the edge of the chair. Moving to curl the other closer, the chime of the door ripped him from the inner torment of his mind.

Staring with the intensity of one waking up from a nightmare, his spark pulse raced angrily against his chest plate causing his vents to open to maximum to cool him down. Out of sorts at first, curiosity and uncertainty hit him… then came the anger. "What?"

His vocalizer snapped the word with a razor edge, seeing only one face in his processor. The traitorous face of his so called best friend loomed in his processor causing him to grind his fingertips into the curve of his knee and the length of his calf. Soft screeching of metal on metal emitted from the grip filling the room just before the door slid open.

Blinding light erupted into the room causing him to turn down the sensitivity of his optics and narrow them. For a moment, he convinced himself it was Jazz and he wanted to snap further. Wanted to force the other to see what lovely good he'd done for the SIC, leaving him to drown in things he didn't want to face. Will it away… push it away… eventually it would go away. Now… that would never happen.

"Prowl?" Sharply angling his head to regard the silhouette, he stopped, allowing the shape to finally cycle through his processor and match up to that cool tone full of curiosity. Darkened from over exposure, all Prowl could see was the set of Caribbean blue optics that flickered and switched to night vision.

"Sunstreaker…" Simmering down from the desire to attack his visitor, he turned his head to stare at the wall with a sharp glance. He heard a loud crackle when his lover stepped into the room then the quick movement to get off of the item before the door closed. Bathing them in darkness, he clenched his jaw forcing himself not to run the other off as quickly as he'd arrived.

"Hey… um…" The warrior shifted and carefully shoved some items out of the way trying to tentatively move forward. Prowl watched the yellow mech with his peripheral vision. Sunny stared with open amazement at the state of chaos. "What…" Obviously thinking better of that line of thought, he cut himself off. Finally he pushed on through the dark and cursed as he bumped a leg into one of the overturned chairs before sighing. "Wanna talk about it?"

Prowl recoiled at the question. Angling his head to send his lover a cold stare, he spoke slowly training the emotion out of his voice. "What gave you the inclination to think I wanted to?"

"Frag Prowl… it was just a question." Moving closer, Sunstreaker maneuvered around the desk and slowly slid down to one knee looking up at Prowl. "Hey…"

Tensing, the tactician watched the younger intently. Sunny seemed to be glancing over his helm, his optics gradually dimming sadly. Prowl refused to move, he only watched the other raise a hand. Lips parted to draw air into his suddenly heated internals when Sunny slid fingertips up his helm. The angle he held that hand had the thumb grazing his cheek and chills shot down his spinal unit. In a flash of reaction, he snatched up that hand and shoved it away harshly. "Stop!"

Sunny sat back on his heels in surprise. Prowl panted, trying to catch up to himself. Pressing far back into his chair, he almost tried to sink into it. After a long moment, the younger rose to his feet and resolved to simply sit on the edge of his desk. "Slaggit, Prowl… I'm just worried about you…"

"What do you want from me?" Snapping at the younger caused Sunny to stiffen and stare at him once more shocked. Something about that wounded gaze gave him the impression he hit something deep, but irritation rose too quickly for him to focus on it.

"What do I want…" Restating the question slowly, he suddenly flared angrily, "you slagger! What do you think I want! Not a whole lot! Maybe a little recognition for my efforts!"

"Efforts?!" Leaning forward to glare at Sunstreaker, the elder's optics flared. "Which efforts are you referring to? You storming off when you get too impatient or when your anger gets the better of you when I try to runaway?" There was a sneer in his voice as he stared at him, optics narrowing.

"Oh come on Prowl! You know how I am! I've been trying as hard as I can! What am I supposed to do?! Tie you up and make you talk to me?" Sunstreaker snapped back sharply, his own optics narrowing.

"Brilliantly planned. Seriously Sunstreaker, for lack of a better word, you suck at comforting." Drawing the words out wryly, Prowl's lips curled in distaste. "Everyone is enjoying knocking me down."

Sunny straightened and leaned back as though he'd physically been slapped by that retort. The anger dampened out of his optics and he slowly slumped forward bowing his head in defeat. Prowl let the leg pressed to his torso slide off the chair, watching Sunny react. Instead of guilt, strong anger rose in him, pushing him to his feet. "You want to comfort me, Sunstreaker?" Pitch dangerously low, he moved purposely to his young lover. "Or do you want something else?"

Looking up sharply, Sunstreaker's optics focused on the white digits slowly walking up the back of his forearm. "Prowl…" The voice shook at best, his gears and joints tensing in response. Prowl sneered at that sudden rush of confusion and fear. The warrior was mesmerized and yet ready to run at the slightest notion. "You… you're not… talking like yourself."

"Not talking like myself. Not carrying out my duties like myself. Incapable. Untrustworthy. Go on Sunstreaker." Cold and flat in quality, something roiled beneath the surface from the anger colliding with despair. "Tell me Sunstreaker. Tell me what is 'like myself' so that I can mold to what is expected." Spitting the words out, Prowl delicately traced the inner knee joint of the yellow twin.

Sunstreaker shifted under the too soft touches and the words pouring like acid against him. "Prowl… That's not…" Before he could finish, something snapped in Prowl's processor and his fingers began to dig expertly into the joint. "Prowl!" That sharp sound in the younger's vocalizer told Prowl of the hurt he caused him just like his logic processor told him. But he didn't stop. His other hand drifted over Sunny's torso and slowly splayed against it as he lifted a dark gaze that boiled forth with the anger whitewashing his normally deep blue optics.

"Do you know, Sunstreaker? Do you know the pain?" Pain that seared and ripped him apart due to his loss of all control. Pain that caused him to shatter and break at the hands of a madman… Prowl's lips curled a little in the mockery of a smile to accompany a tumult of memories and thoughts collided in his processor. Fingertips dug into Sunstreaker's armor and the sound of the younger's intakes pulling air in desperately forced the desire to regain control to rise above all else. _Take control…_

"Ah! Pr-Prowl!" Shuddering as nimble white digits scraped through the finish of his armor, Sunstreaker's form tried to sway back a little warily.

"No!" The hand on Sunny's knee tightened when the other tried to move away. Tips dug deeply into the joint and soon a surge of energy ran through him. Yanking Sunny closer to him, the younger sat precariously on the edge of the desk. A low crackle of surprise left Sunstreaker's vocalizer and it sent a shiver through his body. "You won't run from me! It's too late for that."

Prowl gave a low growl, using that hand on the younger's torso to shove him angrily against the surface of the desk. A sinuous display of the limber movement of joints and hydraulics accompanied the tactician's movement of quickly mounting the desk pressing his knees into either dip of the younger's sides. Pinning Sunny down, he tightened the vice like grip of his legs painfully. "Prowl! What are you…?!"

A hand clamped down over the younger's mouth to halt his protest. Digging his fingers into the pliable metal of Sunny's cheeks, the larger form beneath him stilled. Gritting his dental plating together, Prowl shoved forcefully against the younger's head with that hand. "Only speak when spoken to! I don't recall addressing you."

Slowly, he moved his other hand along the frame of Sunny's helm before shifting to graze the ridges of his helm fins. "You want this. If you didn't, you wouldn't keep pestering me. Always pushing your luck…" Venom dripped from his voice. Sunstreaker couldn't help the muffled sound emitting from his vocalizer at that touch.

Sunny relented beneath him, giving up and simply allowing. But when he ventured to lift a hand to softly touch Prowl's chassis, the strategist violently slapped it away. "I never said you could touch either."

The glare sent to Prowl was almost scalding when Sunny slowly lowered his hands down to his sides. Something about the show of submission sent a racy feeling of control through him. Moving the hand over the other's mouth, he slid the thumb under the younger's chin in a sweeping motion. Grazing sensitive wiring, he pushed Sunny's head back leaving the silver metal and wiring of his neck open and vulnerable.

His lips parted at the sight, not missing the way Sunny's hands curled into fists from forcing himself not to react. Shudders ran through him while his processor tried to wrap around the way his body acted. The schism in his desire made his movement halting as he leaned down closer. Heightening his olfactory sensors, he drew in the scent of his young lover, something in him paused to relish and imprint it to his memory. He could almost taste the fear and excitement that rose from the form beneath him. Thumb dipping into the exposed throat, his optics dimmed, moving by memory to where the vocalizer should be. The glancing touch caused the yellow mech to jerk a little and shudder.

Drawing his lips along wires and fuel lines, his actions felt sharp and jerky, fighting for the concept of domination. Part of him wanted him to stop, but the thoughts were easily turned off, focusing on the carnal desire to control. Regain that control so shattered and laid to waste in the desert. Dental plating found the main fuel line only to bite down enough to almost pierce the wire mesh tubing. Instantly his optics offlined at the low crackle and cry from the vocalizer of his lover. Ripples of sensation slid over his plating, and he couldn't tell if it was dread or pleasure.

Hands slid down Sunny's chest and angled so his tips dragged against the yellow finish shredding little slivers of silver and yellow out of the metal in his wake. Optics slid to watch the way the tendrils curled and lay against the normally immaculate armor, his spark racing and panging in his chest yet again. The thought of something so powerful and vibrant simply giving in to his ministrations pushed him forward.

His hands moved from the now marred chest, one dug under the heavily built form and pressed up under his back plating. Finding various points in the spinal column, he strummed them one by one slowly. Sunny's body pressed into the touch and strangled cries poured from him sending a shock of desire through Prowl awakening a part of him he'd been holding back, not wanting to feel.

Drawing his other hand to a panel on the younger's torso deftly lifting the latch causing the panel to slide away soundlessly. The sound of fans met his audio and he felt the metal heat under his touch with each thing he did to his lover. Sitting back slightly, he stared down at the younger who drew in air desperately.

Sunstreaker's vocalizer gave a soft whimper when the hand on his back slid down and dug under the plating of his thigh. Curling his fingers, he pulled wires taut within causing small surges to jump through the circuitry making the leg twitch. His doorwings flicked and stood rigid on his back. He knew what each of his motions did. Even though he wanted to ravish the other, something lashed out aiming for the pleasure edged in pain. Pausing a moment, he seemed to deliberate his actions, but soon he went on insisting that he had to carry through. Sliding his index finger into the port, he arched at the surge of energy that leapt into the finger tip from the false connection. Sunny on the other hand, arched hard and cried out lowly. The attempt to keep from making a sound showed in the way Sunny's face tensed, furrowing his brow.

Withdrawing his finger, he repeated the movement with aching slowness. Prowl found he couldn't stop staring at the younger's face as he withdrew the hand from the back of Sunny's thigh to his own torso. Once more he had that urge to stop, leave the other alone, but that anger and raw emotion pushed him on. Finding the same latch to his own panel, he opened it. His optics remained unmoving upon the writhing figure pinned beneath him.

Suddenly he stiffened when hands gripped at his legs. It wasn't a strong grip, but images flashed through his processor causing him to jerk and grab both hands roughly. Panting from the fear coiling in his chassis, his tank stirred. It took cycling air heavily to calm down. Yanking the other's hands away, Prowl shoved them above his head, he wasn't seeing Sunstreaker. Staring wildly into daze optics, he gave a low growl of reprimand. In a jerky motion, he shifted the hands so that only one held both.

Once more his spark seemed to tighten in his chassis seeing Sunny give him a melancholic stare fogged over by the roughened pleasure. Tensing his jaw, he looked away moving to draw out his interface cable. Suddenly gentle, he pushed the connection into the younger's port with a soft snap that seemed to echo in the room.

Sunstreaker instantly reacted, his body seeming to bend and writhe from the rush of data pouring into him. Prowl seemed to claw his way through his lover's systems desperately as though searching. Each time he'd pressed on, he found he couldn't really recall what he was aiming to achieve… Lifting his head, he stared into Sunny's face. The younger's optics seemed to short out from the overwhelming intrusion. Tentatively he tried to tweak and play around with the warrior's programming feeling the thin veil of illusion fading away with each agonizing second. Every moment he sought to cling to his lover, the more it hurt… and the hollower he became. It sounded so soft at first… that soft pleading voice of his lover.

Short of a true bond of sparks, they were broken impressions that littered the conscious workings of Sunstreaker's systems, but Prowl felt something cold run up his spinal unit. The more he listened, the clearer it became and soon it became a mantra pinging off the inner walls of his processor before shooting straight to his spark.

_Prowl… _

His forehead furrowed as he leaned down pressing it to Sunny's chest. The aching quality in the sound of his name caused his vocalizer to glitch with a whimpered. No… no, please stop… Don't say my name like that…

_I don't understand… _

Sunstreaker. Sunny took each of his actions in stride… the mech so forward and brilliant in opinion. With every cruel action and sharp word they'd exchanged this evening, Sunstreaker bit down the pain and anger. Why didn't he see how much it hurt the other? Each time he took the pain out on the younger, he just didn't understand…

_I'm not leaving… I'm sorry…_

Choking, his vocalizer gave a soft whine, suddenly movinh his arms to hug his own chassis. That fear… the sinking revelation of eon old friends turning their backs on him paled in comparison to this. In his anger for colleagues turning away, he knew clearly that he nearly broke something he cherished far more. Gasping, he felt his tank turn again making him wish to purge, but he held it in. How could he be sorry…?

That burning feeling leapt like wildfire from his spark to his optics and he cringed. The intensity of his guilt caused him to suddenly jerk the cable out of his lover desperate to withdraw and stop those painful words from ringing throughout his systems and his spark. Crumpling against his lover, his door wings slowly wilted against his back. Beginning to shake uncontrollably, the full realization crashed into him like a wave.

He didn't know when, but at some point while he laying there shaking, Sunstreaker had timidly wrapped his arms about him. Fingers so adept with art, traced delicate patterns on his back coaxing him back down from the emotional overload.

"Prowl… It's ok…" The normally cool tone of Sunny's vocalizer sounded coarse from the rough treatment earlier, but nonetheless gentle. It sent a chill of guilt all through out the strategist.

"I'm sorry…" Voice small and quavering, Prowl didn't dare lift his head. "I'm so sorry, Sunny…"

"It's all right…" The gentle embrace tightened marginally and he gave a soft whimper. Slowly, the younger pressed his face into the top of his helm. The sensation of soft pliable lips pressing into his helm broke his spark causing the quivering to intensify. He didn't deserve this… he didn't feel he had the right.

Pain and agony wracked through him causing him to offline his optics and pressed deeper into the younger shamefully. When those hands so lovingly slid over his back and just barely up his doorwings, he felt the edges wear down on the sickening feelings inside.

"I'm not you, Prowl…" That soft sounding voice sounded so close to his audio and he burrowed his face into the marred chest. "But it's my turn… I'm not going anywhere. I swear. I'll be here when you're ready… I know… I'm not patient… but… I'll slaggin' do my best… Just promise me. Promise me that you'll let me, Prowl…"

Just listening to the younger soothed down the shaking of his body. Trying to gather what was left of his coherent thought. So very slowly, he nodded his head. If Sunny wanted him, if the younger wished to try the impossible… he loved him enough to let him try.

--+--

"WHAT THE SLAG HAPPENED TO YOU?!" Ratchet's voice bellowed down the hall causing the figure hiding outside in the shadows to cringe.

"Put the wrench down, Doc! I was just sparring!" Sunstreaker yelled back and from the scuff of metal, the younger must have hurried to duck behind a berth. "Frag, Ratch! Aren't you supposed to heal the wounded?! Not make them slaggin' worse!"

"I'll show you worse you punk!" Grumbling in irritation, the medic's movements could be heard outside and the screech of metal could be heard.

"Ow ow ow! NOT THE HELM FIN!" Walking with an uneven gait, the yellow warrior yelled, accompanied the agitated footfalls of the CMO.

"Sit! And don't move." The room went deathly silent and Prowl slowly rose his head curiously. After telling Sunstreaker to go to medbay… he'd pretended to stay behind. But when he'd waited for the other to get a head start, he followed. The Datsun couldn't help the curiosity for various reasons, two more prominent than others. The first was for the younger's well-being; the second served to see what Sunny would tell the medic. Distrust remained ingrained in his beginnings, and loathe it as he did, he couldn't push it down. "Primus, Sunstreaker… who were you sparring?"

"Does it really matter? Look, my knee is just giving me fits and my paint is fragged up. Can you fix it or not?" A loud thunk followed those words and a yelp from the yellow warrior. Prowl could almost see the medic smacking the younger on the back of his head for being smart.

"The damage is precise. That would be some kind of accident to hit all the prime receptor points in one quick grab." Prowl stiffened hearing the leading information. It felt like the medic kept trying to condemn him.

"So? It hurts. I'm walking funny." Sunstreaker grumbled in irritation before going on. "Please just fix it…"

"Please? My we're being unbelievably polite. Fine…" The reluctance in that voice could have been highlighted by a neon sign, but he wouldn't win since Sunny set his processor on this. Once the yellow twin decided the best course of action, he stuck to it.

"Thanks…"

Prowl lowered his head slowly. Sunstreaker didn't even think of telling on him. In fact, the younger acted like nothing happened at all. Reaching up, he softly rubbed at his optics trying to get rid of the persistent burning sensation. Lifting his head, his optics cleared to reveal a figure before him he'd not wanted to see.

Jazz shifted quietly and pressed his lips together in a thin line. His desire to speak showed so clearly over his face. Shifting his weight from foot to foot, Prowl felt sheer anger. "Hey Prowler…"

Holding a hand up sharply he gave the other a cold unmoving glare. "Don't talk to me like you're my friend. Don't think I'll ever acknowledge you in that manner ever again." Prowl's punctuated each word sharply and Jazz winced with each statement. "If you have so little faith in me, find someone else to worship and follow around like a moth to the light."

Still glaring sharply, he turned and stalked off, his stride long and silent striving to put distance between him and the saboteur. Prowl officially decided that relationship had been shredded and gone up in flames. It hurt far too badly to think any other way.

They betrayed him. All the ones he worked so hard to protect left him with nothing and no purpose. He had not a single reason to want to forgive them. Moving to his office quickly, he once more submerged himself into the darkness leaning back against the door heavily. Slowly sinking to the floor, a low screech of metal on metal sounded in the silence. For the first time since he woke in medbay… his spark ached to be near Sunstreaker. Lifting a hand, he pressed it against his chest feeling the heavy pulse. The deep guilt wouldn't leave him, and it made the pulse rate falter and ache even more.

"What have I done…?"

_I'm frightened by what I see  
But somehow, I know that there's much more to come  
Immobilized by my fear  
And soon to be blinded by tears  
I can stop the pain, if I will it all away  
If I will it all away..._

-Finé-

~Special Extra Gift from the Author~

Loud footfalls caused him to look up from his concentration on his blaster to stare at the door to his room. Optics bright with surprise, he watched the door slide open to reveal the harbinger of anger. Sailing into the room with jerky, angry motions, Sunstreaker picked up random objects from his desk and threw them back down on the surface. Finally slumping into the desk chair, he crossed his arms over his chassis like a frustrated child throwing a tantrum.

Shifting a little, the red mech set his blaster down on his desk along with the cleaning cloth. Hazarding to interrupt his twin, he spoke tentatively. "Um… Sunstreaker?"

"That fragger!" Sideswipe rocked back in his chair at the outburst and simply waited for the other to elaborate. It never helped to interrupt one of the yellow twin's tirades. "What the frag is his problem, anyway!"

"Who?" daring to ask, he saw his brother turn with a sharp jerk to glare at him.

"I gave my gorgeous body to him and the slagger cried about it!" Sunstreaker spoke with such force; Sideswipe leaned back in his chair in utter disbelief.

"He cried?"

"Well… no… but he may as well have!" Sunny snapped back and turned to stare gloomily at the wall. Sides slowly shook his head and rose to his feet. Really, his brother could be so emotionally crippled when it came to understanding others. Rising to his feet, he moved to the yellow warrior and carefully hugged him from behind. "Why did this have to happen?"

"Who knows… question is… are you going to stick with him…?" Sides ventured carefully, placing his chin on his twin's helm.

"Yeah…" The sullen reply made Sides hug him just a bit more.

"Know what might help?" Sideswipe grinned, knowing his brother couldn't see.

"What?"

"Less ego and more effort." He instantly jumped away of his twin's swing at him snickering. Dancing out of his brother's reach, he winked an optic. "Alas, the world is ending; it's not all about you, brother mine."

"Oh shut up."

Sides simply laughed, sliding into his desk chair again. At least Sunny redirected his anger from the mentioned situation… more like his brother seethed, plotting a way to get even with Sides. It worked out better for all of them. Picking his blaster up, he resumed the cleaning where he left off. Prowl better appreciate it…

~End~


	24. How to Save the Savior

**Title: **Light of the Sun

**Author: **Lune Nightingale

**Series: **G1

**Rating: **PG-13 probably

**Pairings: **Sunstreaker/Prowl, Sideswipe/Bluestreak, Ironhide/Ratchet

**Warnings: **This is my fight with Prowl to be even the teensiest bit fluffy. Surprisingly, Sunny worked better with me. How awkward.

**Notes: **I'm very sorry for the delay. This chapter proved very hard on me to write. Not so much for motivation… but well, lets just hope you like it as much as my friends that read it first. Enjoy the progressive climb to closure. Let me know what you think. ^^

**Disclaimer: **I neither own Transformers nor "Guardian Angel". Respectively they belong to Has/Tak and Red Jump Suit Apparatus.

_When I see your smile,  
Tears roll down my face  
I can't replace.  
And now that I'm strong, I have figured out,  
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.  
And I know I'll find deep inside me,  
I can be the one._

Mud and grime crept further into his joints with each step. Even the defense mechanisms of the Cybertronian body remained unprepared for the disgusting facets of organic nature. The rain fell hard on the landscape as normally gleaming yellow armor was coated with muddy water and thick patches of mud, grass, and gravel. Someone on the Decepticon side seemed to miss the memo that he _loathed_ being dirty.

The disturbance, though small, sent the Autobots out to defend the humans of a nuclear plant from the 'Cons. Unfortunately for him, the rain fell in torrents for much of the drive, and continued to down pour on site. Being one of the strongest Autobot frontliners, he couldn't refuse to go. Irritating circumstance left him in this despicable shape.

As he approached the Ark, he couldn't help the shudder of disgust as he occasionally shook a leg hoping to knock off the muck. Each distasteful step led him to giving an arm or a leg a shake until he stepped into the cover of the Autobot base. Standing there dripping on the floor, he could hear a few of the others snickering as they kept going.

"You're walking like it hurts, Sunshine!" Cliffjumper called out laughing.

"Careful not to tread too hard, Sunbot! You might get it stuck in your beautiful paint!" goaded Gears as the minibots danced out of his reach and hurried down the hall laughing.

"Watch your backs, you failed toaster parts." Growling after them, he gingerly took a step as though the mere grinding of grit between metal hurt him. The sound of a low, almost unnoticeable, chuckle caused him to turn his head fast. At first, his lips drew up into a snarl but soon it melted into surprise.

"And you call me kitten." The voice that caught his audio so softly directing his his optics with further accuracy to the figure hiding in the shadows of the entrance. Even the shine of white paint seemed to fade into the background. With only a mere step, light illuminated the edges of black and white paint.

"Oh yeah, copper?" Smirking a little, he continued to try to shake the muck off like it burned his dermal plating. "Why do you say that?"

"The way you move… it reminds me of a cat after it walks through a puddle." Moving closer, Prowl's face slowly came into view in the light. Sunny's expression shifted into pure surprise and awe as those lips were turned into the smallest of amused smiles. Even though it was at his expense, his spark fluttered in relief. That smile, now a rarity for nearly a month, always made him feel lighter.

Air cycled deeply through his intakes as he forced his spark to calm. Giving a devil may care smirk; he continued to flick dirt off of his torso. "Laugh it up, Prowler… You're just lucky I like you." Watching the elder, he realized that Prowl waited for the others to leave before coming out. The last few weeks had been hell on the former SIC. Removing Prowl from the planning and missions left the Datsun in his quarters unmoving. In the beginning, he'd even refused to go see Ratchet as ordered. Sunstreaker found he had to literally drag his aft to Medbay and often wondered if looks could kill. Jazz had made sure to keep Sunny readily available those days for that sole purpose. Smiling softly, he tipped his head. "Didn't think I'd see you out here."

Prowl looked away quietly, the expression fading into something far more neutral. "I knew there was an alert. It's raining."

Sunstreaker looked at him in confusion, his head canting a bit as he moved closer. "Yeah? We go out on those you know." Pausing, he hesitated only an astrosecond before risking to touch just under Prowl's chin and bring his optics back to his own. "What's rain got to do with it?"

Looking up at Sunstreaker, his brow furrowed with the slightest narrowing of his optics. The expression didn't seem angry, but Sunny couldn't really put his finger on the true emotion. "Am I not allowed to be here when you return?"

Pulling his hand away, an irritated look shot at Prowl before Sunny smashed it down. "No. I was just curious." Cold water slid down his dermal plating and fell to the floor with a soft 'plip' before he leaned in and softly kissed the center of Prowl's chevron. "I need to get cleaned up."

The tactician tipped his head slowly into that touch, but his face was still tight in an unreadable expression. Sunny sighed softly at this before turning to walk away. His expression twisted in disgust at the sound of dirt between his feet and the floor. The feeling of a hand on his arm froze him in mid motion and brought his gaze down to the white hand. Staring at it quietly, Sunny felt something inside melt. He didn't dare look at Prowl.

"I'll walk with you." The low offer finally brought his gaze to Prowl's face. Lips pressed into a thin line as pale blue optics looked up into Sunny's visage. Giving a slight nod to the elder, Sunstreaker saw the relaxing tension in Prowl's doorwings. Everything they did seemed like a walk on thin ice. "You can use my private washrack… if you want."

"I'll never turn that down." No matter how bleak things got, Sunstreaker refused to give up. All his life that he'd known Prowl, he'd been untouchable. Unbreakable. In a way, even before he really looked at the elder, he saw him that way. Just seeing the uncertainty and reclusive withdrawal of the tactician broke his spark. Even if it hurt, he kept trying.

"All right." It took a while, but Prowl slowly let go of his arm. Sunny waited for him to move first before following in his wake. Caribbean blue watched the careful gait of his lover and sighed internally. That grace never left Prowl, but that solid certainty was gone. No. Giving up wasn't an option.

_I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)  
I'll stand up with you forever.  
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven._

Steam poured through the open door as Sunny walked out of the washracks. A sigh of delight left him from the warmth that heated his dermal plating. Not having to share with all the other bots was actually a coveted luxury. As the door closed behind him, he looked about the room searching for his host.

Prowl had the lights down dim in the room. This lighting had become common place in Prowl's quarters. At first he wanted darkness… but after Sunstreaker managed to trip a few times in the room when trying to find something, Prowl relented. Though he wouldn't admit it, Sunny appreciated that gesture.

Moving through the room, he peered into the berth room and saw Prowl on the berth unmoving. The lovely figure curled in on itself, knees tucked under the curve of Prowl's bumper. Head tilted downward, Prowl seemed to be staring at the floor unseeing. How often did he see Prowl like that lately? Frowning, the younger moved to the berth and lifted up onto it easily. Shifting slowly, he moved closer but Prowl didn't seem to notice.

"Energon goodie for your thoughts?" Sunny prodded gently and watched as the doorwings rose a little from their drooped position.

"Is that all they cost these days?" Prowl's optics flickered as his head turned to look at Sunny from his peripheral.

"Name your price then, copper. If I have it, I'll offer it." Sunny pushed on, smirking at the other's return.

Prowl gave the faintest smile, before shaking his head. "Nothing important."

"If it's you, beautiful, it's important. Don't make me go sappy. You know I hate that slag." Giving the other a sly grin, he lifted a hand to softly graze the elder's hip. At first, Prowl jumped, but soon he seemed to loosen up and relax. "So, name a price."

"Price…" Prowl's gaze moved to Sunny's and the warrior's spark tightened in his chassis. The Datsun looked so lost in that moment before he finally sighed and turned, letting a leg slip off the berth while the other slid crooked onto the berth. "Stay here tonight…"

"Is that all? I'd do that for free. But since that's the price, spill." A cheshire cat grin spread over his lips as he leaned in placing his hands on the berth close to Prowl. "Talk to me."

"There are some things…" The elder hesitated as he looked into the face hovering so close to his. Prowl sighed and slowly lifted a hand to touch Sunny's cheek with his fingertips. The glancing touch was so feather light, it nearly didn't make contact. "That shouldn't be shared."

Slowly he deflated at this, but he didn't give up. Leaning into those fingers he pressed on. "What if… I talked first… would you talk to me then?"

Prowl's optics brightened in surprise, but his expression didn't change. Fingertips pressed in a bit more, making stronger contact. "Why are you trying so hard?"

"I guess you do that when you care…" shrugging a little, he went on. "Prowl… I'm no good at this… work with me ok?"

It took a moment, but he caught the soft chuckle deep in Prowl's chassis as he tried to smile. "You're hopeless."

"Look who's talking." Even if he didn't know it, Sunny gave the tactician a sulking glance before looking away. "I don't know what else to give you. Primus, Prowl… I feel like I'm on one of those human treadmills. Doesn't matter how fast I run, I get nowhere. Not that I'm giving up or anything!"

Tipping his head almost in curiosity, the Datsun leaned in and stopped just as their lips nearly meet. He seemed to hesitate before pressing into Sunny, kissing him slowly. Yellow hands stayed pressed into the berth knowing the other would shy away if he touched him. In time he realized that they brought up bad memories… memories that made him want to march out to the Nemesis, drag Starscream out and start ripping his internals out. But those violent thoughts were pushed aside.

Sunny let him control it. No matter how much he wanted to press into the other. The lack of contact with the elder was driving him insane. So, when Prowl pulled away, he couldn't stop the soft near whimper that left him.

Studying the younger, Prowl swept a thumb over Sunstreaker's cheek. "I don't understand…"

At first, he wanted to just slump in defeat, but instead he gave Prowl a soft smile even though his optics wavered. "I don't think I know what you don't understand…"

Prowl's optics stayed on Sunny's lips before he slowly moved in to kiss the yellow twin again. This time his hands rose to cup the younger's face pulling him gently closer. Even though his movements were hesitant, Sunny felt his spark flare in excitement. Every step Prowl made, was enough for him to keep trying…

Breaking from the kiss, Sunny brave moving a hand. Very lightly he touched Prowl's lower lip and smirked. "Don't think you've distracted me, kitten… I am not leaving you alone till you talk to me."

"Insufferable." Prowl smiled, and it was all Sunny needed right now.

_It's okay, It's okay, It's okay-ay-ay-ay-ay._

_Seasons are changing,  
And waves are crashing,  
And stars are falling all for us.  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,  
I can show you I'll be the one._

"Hey, Sunstreaker…" Looking up at that voice, a glare turned on the Corvette who seemed to approach him timidly. "Uh… You know… I'm sorry. Could you… you know, tell Prowl that?"

The energon cube in his hand made a threatening crack as his grip tightened. Not far from him, Bumblebee looked back in surprise. "You fragger… You have a lot of nerve…"

"Come on, Sunstreaker! I screwed up! Let me…" Tracks cut off as the cube shattered in the warrior's hand. Energon spilled down the yellow twin's arm to the floor like fluorescent rain. "Sunstreaker…"

"Let you what?!" The look in his optics turned shrewd and dark as he took a step in Tracks' direction.

"Let me at least try to apologize!" Taking a step back, Tracks help up a hand trying to get the other to calm down.

"Oh! That's rich! Do you think it'll make it better?! Reverse all the pit you've caused in his life?" Voice sharp and low, Sunny's shoulder shook with the repressed desire to attack the narcissist.

"Sunny! Calm down!" Bee ran up to him, an urgent look of worry on his face only to be easily pushed aside.

"Calm down? Bee! Do you have any idea what his stupidity has done?" Pent up anger and frustration came to the surface heatedly. Turning, about to close in on Tracks, he reared back ready to slam a fist into the other's face. The sudden move of Tracks gaze caused him to stop before bringing the desire to fruition. In that same moment, he felt a hand slide down his arm. Almost like a puppet, he lowered the raised fist when the slightly smaller form tugged it softly. Simmering down, his optics moved to the Datsun as he slid easily in front of him. Prowl's body faced him, but his head was angled to look at Tracks blankly.

"Thank you, Tracks… please leave." Voicing a request that came out to be more of a command, Prowl lowered his head. Tracks balked for a moment before nodding. Without a word, the Corvette made way for the exit of the rec room. Upon his departure, the black and white mech lifted his head to look at Sunny evenly.

"Sorry." The automatic mutter was like a reflex. Looking away, Sunny glared to the side not wanting to meet that cool gaze. He saw that empty expression far too often. As it dawned on him, Sunny snapped his gaze back to his lover in surprise. "Did you follow me here?" This time, Prowl looked away.

Sunny shook his head slowly. From the corner of his optics, he saw Bee cleaning up the mess he made and felt a pang of guilt. The minibot, no matter how cruel he could be to him, always tried to help. Returning his attention to Prowl, he started to reach out and touch him. Stopping just short of his arm, he felt his shoulders sink. Prowl shifted though, and soon he felt the smooth plating of his lover's armor under his fingertips. Dropping his optics to the contact, he realized that Prowl's doorwing pressed into his fingers.

"Thank you." Prowl spoke lowly then glanced at the energon dispenser. "I should refuel."

"Mind if I join you?" Sunny questioned quickly and felt relief when the other nodded.

"If you'll come back to my room with me." Prowl moved about Sunny and started for the dispenser.

Following in his wake, he hovered close behind Prowl and responded quietly. "Lead on, kitten. I'll be right behind you."

_I will never let you fall (let you fall)  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

"So… is he opening up yet?" Sideswipe shifted uncomfortably as he walked with uneven strides. The cause for this was the weight of his twin leaning on him from an injury to his right leg.

"I told you to distract me, not piss me off." Shooting his brother a glare, his systems let out a low growl both from pain and irritation. "No… he keeps changing the subject."

"Sorry. I don't get to see you much these days you know. Not like I have a fraggin' clue what you're doing or if you're even staying sane," the red twin grumbled, sending his twin a frown.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous." Sunstreaker smirked, but the expression stayed hollow. His optics stayed on the main entrance to the Ark as it grew closer. Their latest foray had resulted in a lot of injuries, and had left Sunny toting himself back with Sides' help. Besides, it saved him a little longer from the wrath of the medic that looked ready to wring his neck for trying another idiotic run of Jet Judo.

"Slagger. You're my brother, I'm allowed to worry and miss you." Sides ground that out in a manner that Sunny noticed his brother was about to make him walk by himself.

Remaining silent a moment, the yellow twin slowly lowered his head. "Look, sorry. This hasn't been easy on me. Not everyone has a walk in the park relationship. I just fraggin' like to do everything the hard way."

Sideswipe's jaw tightened. Sunstreaker made that shot at his relationship with Bluestreak no secret. "Whatever, Sunny."

"Sides."

"Just forget it ok? I'm sure once you figure something out; you'll stop being such an aft when we talk." The red warrior sighed then tipped his head. "Just don't give up ok? I am so not going through this slag for nothing."

"Such a martyr." Smirking at this, he finally nodded. "Yeah, brother mine… I'm not giving up on this. Even if I want to break things and vent my anger on a few unsuspecting cons…. Minus the injuries." He grimaced at his leg that sparked a bit from putting too much weight on it. They stopped and he looked at his brother. "Why'd you stop?"

Sideswipe looked back at his twin then jerked his head toward the base entrance with a stoic expression. Lifting his head, he followed the direction of the gaze and caught sight of Prowl standing in the entry way tersely. "Seems he's not happy."

"What gave it away Sherlock? The icy look or the icy pose?" Urging his brother to keep walking, Sunstreaker suddenly wished he'd been able to transform. The longer he stood under Prowl's gaze, the more he wanted to make a run for it.

"Aft. Not that I envy you." Snickering, Sideswipe grinned at his twin evilly before doing something Sunny swore he'd beat the other down for later. He started waving and yelling at Prowl. "Hey Prowl! Wanna help me lug his heavy aft to medbay?!"

Sunny instantly rubbed his optics with the hand not draped over his brother's shoulders. "Have I told you lately that I hate you?"

"Not recently brother dear. But paybacks are hell." Grinning, from audio to audio, he jerked his head. "The best part? He's coming to help."

Lifting his head with a sharp jerk, he looked at his lover. True to his brother's word, Prowl walked toward them with a stiff gait. "I hate you."

"Love you, too, Sunshine." The red twin murmured in his audio before sending Prowl a warm smile. "Hey Prowl. So glad you could join us."

Sunstreaker didn't want to look up and try to decipher his lover's thoughts. In fact, it proved easier to stare at his feet blankly rather than meet whatever look was on the elder mech's face. Prowl didn't hesitate as he moved to his other side and slid one arm about Sunny's waist. Only then did Sunny turn his head. He caught those ice blue optics with his own. The expression, drawn tight on handsome features, caused lines to harden in the definition of his face.

"Are you all right?" Prowl's tone stayed calm and even as always, but he caught the soft lilt of inflection at the end. Giving the Datsun a soft smile, he then nodded his head. "What foolhardy nonsense did you pull now? More Jet Judo?"

"That hurts Prowl! Our Jet Judo is an art!" Sides protested from his other side. The red twin leaned forward giving the elder a dramatic look of hurt.

"Art that is sure to land you in Medbay." Prowl replied easily as they made far better progress with the joint effort. "I prefer both of you in one piece."

"Aw! Prowl! I didn't know you cared!" The red twin grinned cheekily only to yelp as Sunny pinched a wire in his shoulder. "Ow! Hey! Ya jerk…"

"Oh stop that ridiculous pouting. Don't be such a sparkling!" Sunny growled as his brother sent him a pout. "I'm not falling for it."

Sideswipe furrowed his optic ridges, his optics darkening a shade as he met the narrowed optics of his twin. Expert in the trade, the deviant allowed a slight pout to his lower lip causing his brother to twitch. "You're so mean."

With a groan of frustration, he felt something giving in his internals. Without warning he jerked his brother close in a rather awkward hug. "Stop it, idiot."

From the corner of his optics, he saw the flicker of surprise in Prowl's optics. The twins rarely displayed affection in front of others. It surprised even himself to realize his actions. He simply felt that comfortable.

Sideswipe grinned and hugged his brother back before leaning around to give Prowl another grin. "You'd never know what a sucker he was to pouts."

"Dumb aft." Shoving his twin away, the motion put more weight on Prowl. The shift shocked Prowl and he had to take a few quick steps to balance them. Both of Prowl's arms were now wrapped about Sunny's waist as the warrior turned his head to smirk at his lover. Taking his other hand off Sides to grip Prowl's shoulder, he gave the elder his best innocent smile. "Can we leave him behind?"

For a long moment, their optics met. Prowl's lips parted slightly. Sunny could almost see the elder's processor whirling trying to understand how they ended up this way. "Sunstreaker… you are…"

"You heavy aft, you're going to squish him," Sides chimed in with obvious irritation causing Sunny's brow to furrow. Sunny turned his head, slightly narrowed optics fixed on his twin. Sides met his gaze with an equal expression of irritation. Sunny shifted his weight and winced from putting pressure on his busted knee. Lines tightened in his face from gritting his dental plating together and furrowing his optic ridges as he made himself stand on his own. "Hey! Sunshine! You're gonna bust something else in your leg!"

"Oh shut it, Sides! I'll do what I want!" Snapping at his twin, they once more stared at each other hard. Whatever concern had been on Sideswipe's face disappeared as their staring contest turned to glaring. Finally, the red twin pushed from the wall and gave his brother a pointed look with narrowed optics.

"Why not? It's what you always do. It's always about you. It always is!" With that, he spun about and stomped away. One dark hand slammed against the metal wall before Sides rounded the corner vanishing from sight.

A wave of regret washed through him. The twin's had been walking such a tenuous line these last weeks, he didn't realize it snapped so easily. Gritting his dental plating, he dimmed his optics and lowered his head. Pain thrummed in constant up his leg but he didn't give it any attention.

"Sunstreaker."

For a short span, he ducked his head. He knew that soft tone when he heard it. Finally Sunny turned and looked at his lover as the elder moved closer. Prowl slowly slid up against his side. The soft cry of metal slipping against metal was the only sound as the elder pulled an arm around his shoulder. Something about the lack of words made him smile. The Datsun gently slid an arm about his waist and tugged Sunny in the direction of medbay. "Mad at me?"

Prowl glanced up at him from under the edge of his helm and seemed to contemplate this a moment. The slightest curve of his lips hinted at a smirk as he spoke softly. "No. But I think you need to spend time with your brother."

"And lose precious time with you?" Sunny couldn't help but prod softly as he let the other support him as they went.

"Truly, Sunstreaker. I don't think I'll be going anywhere," saying this lowly, he dimmed his optics.

Sunstreaker stopped causing Prowl to look up at him fully in curiosity. Before he could voice the confusion, Sunny moved a yellow hand to tenderly touch his chin. "Hey Prowler… make that a promise?"

Optics brightened, a stunned look filling them under the unusually calm gaze of Sunstreaker. The tick of each second thrummed in his processor as Prowl pulled himself together. Finally the elder inclined his head in a slight nod, though it proved trying in the grip Sunny had him in. That simple gesture triggered the next motion of Sunny leaning down and softly kissing Prowl's lips. Melding the pliable metal of their lips together, Sunny dared to cup his lover's face in his hand. Prowl seemed to melt into the motion, and only after a few astroseconds, did he lift a hand to press it gently to Sunny's cheek.

Breaking away, Prowl suddenly chuckled and shook his head. "You're changing the subject. You need to go to medbay."

Smirking, he leaned in and kissed along a cheek seam. "Promise we can pick this up later where we left off?"

"Sunny…" What should have been an irritated chastisement turned into the soft quirk of a smile as Prowl pressed them on. "Later."

"Later then. I'll hold you to that."

_Cause you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart  
Please don't throw that away  
Cause I'm here for you  
Please don't walk away and  
Please tell me you'll stay woah, stay woah…_

For the third time that night he'd tried to get up. Sadly, Prowl's hearing proved just as keen as his ability to be soundless. A white hand shot out and gripped his elbow firmly. He barely made out the soft shift of the form beside him until the elder's optics lit dimly. Deep almost sapphire optics peered into his face and he felt the air leave his vents emptying out in something similar to suffocation. Why did Prowl always affect him in that way? If he didn't love the slagger so much, he'd be pissed off.

"Ratchet said not to use your knee for a few days." The softly intoned words filled the dark room as those fingers in his elbow flexed into the joint idly. It couldn't be anymore obvious that the elder still clung to his recharge cycle.

"I just want to get something…" Sighing, he felt his body shiver starting with those finger tips on his arm and down his spine. "Prowl…" His voice hinted at a whine as he internally debated about pulling away and reveling in the almost intimate touch.

Slowly, as though an afterthought, Prowl's fingertip slid deep into the joint brushing against hairline sensory wires. It sent a jolt up his spinal unit and forced him to press his other hand into his mouth and bite down hard. "Is it important?"

Sunny wanted to say it was. Being still so long made him stir crazy and couldn't sleep. There were too many emotions boiling up in his chassis and he needed to vent. Drawing remained the only means of non-violent venting for the yellow warrior. Finally cycling air, he shook his head. "No… Just recharge. I'll stay put."

Prowl hummed a sound in response and carefully trailed his fingertips up the inside of his arm. The curved form of the Datsun edged closer to Sunstreaker as his fingertips traced the seam just under his arm causing Sunny to tremble. Tipping his head, he pressed his forehead into Sunny's shoulder. "Sunny… am I… worthless?"

Stiffening as straight as a board, the younger turned his head at those barely whispered words. After days of trying to figure his lover out, all it took was waking him in the middle of the night. He didn't dare move as his brow furrowed in anger. "Not even a little bit, kitten. What in Primus' name gave you that idea?"

Pausing in his airy touches, Prowl splayed his hand against Sunny's side, his vents releasing a warm gust of air. Optics were mere pinpricks in the dark now forcing Sunny to brighten his own a bit. The elder moved closer, second by second in timid fashion as his processor dwelled on that brink of exhaustion. "I'm broken… there's nothing left…"

Abject horror washed through Sunny's spark. They'd gone too far. Taking the elder out of his position and telling him he was incapable… Oh Primus, what had they done? Fully lit optics stared into the visage that seemed so lost and distant and he just couldn't take it anymore. Turning from lying on his back to face Prowl quickly, the young warrior swept him up in his arms. One hand slid up the older's back and softly braced the back of his helm while the other arm hugged the sloped contour of his waist. "Primus kitten… that's not true… slag… Ah frag, Prowl don't believe that…"

In turn, the black and white mech froze in his arms. White hands pressed softly against Sunny's chest plate. At first they seemed to want to push him away as Prowl drew closer to the coherent world. Gasping air through his intakes, he ducked his head against Sunstreaker's shoulder. "Stop…"

"I won't stop, Prowl. You need to believe me. You're amazing! How else could you slaggin' drag my aft out of that pit hole I was in?! Frag it! Listen to me and don't pull away!" Clutching desperately at the elder, he waited until Prowl stilled in his arms before continuing. "I'm not giving up on you… I may not be perfect like you, but I'm gonna give you my best. So, stop pushing me away! Please…"

In all his life, Sunstreaker never begged for anything. But right now he would sit on his knees and plead with the other to just reason with him. Prowl was like a tightly pulled wire under heavy pressure. Fans kicked in within his systems, Prowl's fingers curled into fists on his chest. "You don't get it…"

"No I don't! I don't get it and I want to! So tell me! Help me understand… Prowl… you can't just walk out on me, not when you've got me so attached to you." Sunstreaker dug for words and anything he could to make the other understand. "I've never needed anything in my life! Nothing but my brother and myself. But frag it, Prowl! I need you… so… talk to me. Let me help you…"

It took almost a breem of silence for Prowl to loosen up. Hands relaxed against pristine metal and slowly moved up to curl into the edges of Sunny's armor. Doorwings that had been stiff on his back slowly drooped while the fight left his form. Melting into the larger form's arms, Prowl pressed his cheek into Sunny's chest. "You are…."

"What?" Sunny tipped his head looking at Prowl stunned.

"You are helping…" The soft sound of his voice filled Sunny's audios like music to his spark. Strong arms tightened their hold on the lithe officer's form and soon, his face was pressing into the curve of Prowl's neck as his body shuddered. That burning sensation rushed to his optics again and he didn't fight it. Letting the energon tears build, his system gave a soft hiccup. "Sunny…" Prowl's voice was so gentle as he shifted to slide an arm about Sunny's neck. Holding him close, the Datsun softly kissed his chestplate. "Just… keep telling me that…"

Sunny laughed brokenly as he held the other close. "What do you want to hear?"

"Tell me how you feel." Prowl stated gently as his fingers worked tenderly over the back of Sunny's neck. "How do you feel about me…?"

"That's easy, copper…" Smiling through the tears he refused to show, he spoke into the soft slope of Prowl's neck. "I need you. I love you. You've become a focal point…" Trailing off, he wondered at how easily it had been to say those words. It rang so true in his spark and made it ache in his chest terribly.

"I need you…" The elder returned softly, but his voice held more of a plea as his fingers pressed into Sunny's neck and chest. "I love you, Sunstreaker…"

Sunny didn't know why, but that confession almost sounded like an apology than a declaration. For now, he'd accept it. Pressing close, he drew in Prowl's scent and sighed. "I'm not going to let you fall. Cause I've got you…"

Suddenly Prowl moved, his arms shift to wrap desperately about Sunstreaker's waist. Hugging him close, the Datsun buried his face in his chest practically curling in on himself and his lover all at once. For a moment, Sunny believed that Prowl wanted to disappear into him and it was ok with him. He could deal with that, just as long as he didn't have to let him go. Every small step forward was all he needed to keep him trying. Right now, he belonged to Prowl, and he wagered that he would for a very long time to come.

_Use me as you will  
Pull my strings just for a thrill  
And I know I'll be okay  
Though my skies are turning gray_

_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven…_

-Finé-


End file.
